“This is a matter of negotiation,” Twilight said in a booming, commanding voice. “I’ll do everything in my power to make this fair, if you’ll allow me. In fact, I’m willing to give you one-hundred percent of brand new market value. I’m confident that my offer is a good deal.” She glanced around to gauge their reactions and her gaze fell upon an earth pony who had a fierce glare.
“My name is Jolt Sparkheim, of the Sparkheim Industrial Consumer Goods Consortium. We manufacture the ovens and much of the electrical appliances to be found here. I can tell you right up front, my answer is a firm and resounding ‘no.’ We’ve also supplied the cameras, the film, much of the audio equipment, and in short, we’re primarily responsible for making this possible. I will not have my rights intruded upon. Now, respect my decision… and go.”
Twilight waited, but it seemed that the others didn’t have much to say. She wondered if they feared reprisal; anypony who cooperated with her might have trouble doing business with the Sparkheim Industrial Consumer Goods Consortium in the future. Or they could be raked over the coals by their shareholders. Twilight was a firm believer that the stock market was a dreadful mistake, and she longed to abolish it—if only she was allowed to do so. Compound interest was a force that might one day destroy all of Equestria.
“For too long, Princess Celestia has been smashing any successful business that has grown too large. My own family lives in fear of what she might do to us. We’re a family business and the inevitable attack that is coming is an attack on family. My family.” Jolt pressed his front hooves together just below his chin and took a deep breath. “Princess Celestia’s active efforts to ‘bust all trusts’ has certainly busted our trust in her. I have seen whole families gutted and left destitute because of her efforts. Whole livelihoods destroyed. We have rights! We’re the movers and shakers that provide the wealth that makes Equestria what it is.”
Extending her wing, Twilight pointed at Jolt with her primaries. “Very well, let’s talk about rights, shall we? You’ve convinced me to come around to your way of thinking. Perhaps a mistake has been made. So let’s have a conversation about rights.” Glancing about, Twilight was forced to hide a truly wicked grin when she saw the light of hope flare to life in the eyes staring up at her.
“You… a princess talking about rights. Do these even matter to you? We, your subjects, we only have the rights you see fit to give us and these rights are subject to change without notice, at a whim. It’s intolerable.” A mare with her forelegs folded over her barrel stared up at Twilight with nothing but raw contempt.
“Your rights end when you begin hurting others.” Twilight’s words held a remarkable calm and her expression was that of a patient schoolmarm. “To that end, let’s talk about the rights of workers. If I were to conduct a thorough investigation of your companies right now, how many violations would I find? How many health and safety violations would I uncover? Or better yet, how about I turn my mother loose and let her investigate? I think we all know what she did to Equestria’s bureaucracy. So much corruption uncovered. What might she find during an investigation of your business practices?”
Nopony, not even Jolt, would meet her eye now. Each of them looked away, staring off in different directions. Twilight fought to control her anger, because somehow, this response was worse than being stared at with contempt. This was practically an admission of guilt—at least by her own estimation. This was an acknowledgement that things weren’t on the level and they were fully aware of the violations. Not a single one of them could look her in the eye.
“So… who wants to cooperate… I’ll give you fifty percent of market value… new.”
When there were no takers, Twilight let out an audible sigh. “Fine. Let’s keep talking about rights, shall we? Consumer and customer rights. Can any one of you look me in the eye and tell me that the company that you represent is fully honest and transparent in their dealings? Come on… surely somepony works for a company that seeks the betterment of Equestria.” She waited, allowing the moment to stretch into something almost agonising. “No? Really? Nopony? So let me get this straight, you’re demanding your rights—and that’s fine, I respect that, I really do—but all of you seem aware that you’re complicit in violating the rights of others. Shall I have Seville run a front page story encouraging the public at large to come to me for a face-to-face meeting so they can tell me how they’ve had their rights violated?”
Finally looking Twilight in the eye, Jolt spat out the words, “Fuck you, cunt.”
“So… your rights are important, but the rights of your workers? Not so much. Your rights are paramount… but the rights of consumers and customers? Not worth your time, apparently. Don’t think this won’t go unanswered. I will give you twenty-five percent of used market value”—she pointed at Jolt once more with her extended primaries—“except for you. One percent of used market value and as an extra added bonus, I’m going to be the one dismantling your company now that I’m in charge of domestic policy. It will be learning a experience, I’m sure. I’m not going to just rip your company apart, Mister Sparkheim… no, I am going to let the legal system tear you to shreds after I empower your employees, your consumers, and your customers. I will see every shady dealing uncovered and every slimy act accounted for. I will have every dirty dealing ferreted out. I want to let the little ponies know that they have rights and that I want to protect them. I can think of no better way to send that message.”
“This did not go as planned,” a mare said in a harsh whisper to Jolt Sparkheim, who sat beside her. “You promised—”
“Shut up!”
Intrigued, Twilight wondered what had been promised, but did not press the issue. She began to walk the length of the table, looking down and studying different faces as she passed. After the length of the table had been walked, she turned around and began to go the other direction.
“Princess Celestia stays very busy with the war and the world at large,” she said, sharing her thoughts aloud. “I’ve been a bit bored lately. In my own little demesne, things run like a well-oiled machine. It doesn’t require much effort on my part. So… I guess you could say that I’m a mare in need of a hobby. I want all of you to go back to your companies, to your corporations, and I want you to tell them that I am coming… I’m on the warpath. Clean up your acts and run a responsible business. Businesses should not be run like corrupt fiefdoms. Give me a reason, and I burn you to the ground. Do good, do right, run your businesses with the Virtues, and the Crown will do business with you. Behave contrary to the Virtues… and I will make it my equinal mission to destroy you.”
“Uh”—one stallion raised his hoof, as if he was a colt attending school once more—“what are the Virtues?”
“I’m glad you asked,” Twilight replied, while smiling a broad, friendly smile in his direction. “Laughter, Loyalty, Honesty, Generousity, Kindness, and Magic. Keep your employees and your customers happy. Be attentive to their needs and you will have their devotion in return. Be honest and forthwith in your dealings. Be generous… it won’t kill you to help an imperiled bake-off. Be nice… see, if you had been nice to me, you’d’ve all left here with one-hundred percent new market value for your goods. That’d’ve been magical, wouldn’t you agree?”
“So you’re proposing that we sacrifice our bottom lines for goodwill?” the stallion asked.
“Yes!” Twilight offered up an enthusiastic nod with her exuberant response.
“And what would be the tangible market value that we’d get in return for that? I mean, I’m going to have to come up with a proposal for the board. They’re going to want facts and figures, not vague promises. I need something to work with.”
“Tangible market value, you ask.” Twilight’s body went still, but her eyes swept over the room. She drew in a deep breath, one eyebrow arched, and she replied, “What is the tangible market value of your continued existence? This is a market like any other. If I burn down enough businesses, I’m pretty sure the free market will come up with a solution—the burn proof business that operates with altruism and respects the Virtues. It will be a very favourable market for them too, because disreputable businesses will be getting shook down at every turn.”
“That… uh…” The stallion shifted in his seat. “That represents a complicated variable, but I think I can work something out.”
“Smart.” Taking a cue from Prince Gosling, Twilight feathergunned the clever stallion and clucked her tongue. “All of you are dismissed. Free to go. Go and tell your boards and your executives that there is a new princess in town. See ya!”
The sound booth had been abandoned, with the headset left to rest upon the machine covered in many switches and blinky lights. Twilight—her blood still singing in her ears—realised that she stood upon the precipice of the moment that would forever define her princesshood. She had just started a fight—a really big fight—but she still had little ponies to look after.
They needed reassurance.
Reaching out with her mind, Twilight cast her special conjure pony spell, and then she was no longer alone in the sound booth. Seville was fine, but Bundt was slow to recover. Twilight plopped Bundt down into a chair, smiled at Seville, and reminded herself that everything was going to be fine. She had her friends with her.
“Miss Buttercream, I’m putting you in charge. You told me that you hired a lot of the staff. Can you run this operation?” Twilight waited for her assistant to recover herself.
Bundt squirmed in her chair, rubbed her stomach, and let out a tiny squeak.
“Sugar Sparkle, have you been a naughty filly?” Seville asked.
Grinning, Twilight did not respond.
“It is true… I brought in a lot of ponies from the biz. Camera operators and boom operators. Ponies that know how to put on a production. They wanted some decent work for a change of pace.”
“But can you run the show? Do they trust you? Can the show go on?” Twilight’s ears pricked in anticipation of an answer. “It’s okay to tell me no, Miss Buttercream. It won’t impact your job. I won’t push you into doing something you’re incapable of doing.”
“Honest?” Bundt’s eyes glimmered with concern.
“You’re with decent ponies, remember?”
“I am.” A change settled over Bundt’s face and her ears rose in a slow, cautious manner. “I don’t know if I can run the show, but I’m willing to try. I’m more of an actress, in the show sense. But these ponies, I’ve worked with some of them for a very long time. We know how to run a show. We can make it happen, I think.”
“Even if we fail and this blows up in our faces, you’re still my assistant,” Twilight said to Bundt, offering whatever reassurance she could. “We’ll pick up the pieces together. I think you’ll find that I have a different way of doing things. I am asking a lot of you though, to be fair. I apologise for the sudden application of intense pressure.”
“Boss, I’ll find a way.”
“Good.” Twilight turned to Seville. “I need you to do that thing you do with Gosling during the broadcasts.”
“That thing I do—”
“Yes, that thing you do.” Twilight looked into Seville’s eyes, a risky move. “Restore faith and trust. Seville, you’ve become a voice of truth and reassurance. You’re Equestria’s pioneer for radio journalism. So I need you to sit down in this sound booth and do that thing you do.”
“But that thing I do works because Goose is with me. He’s the fall pony and I’m the straight guy. I hold him accountable for everything he says in front of the microphone and the listeners eat that up because they like hearing a royal being taken to task by a commoner. They think the heckling is hilarious.”
This gave Twilight pause, but she knew the show had to go on. “Seville Orange… your best friend saved you. I know that you and Gosling are close. Besties. Brothers, even. Luna has called you brothers many times. Gosling’s foals call you their uncle. This… this is a crisis, and I need for you to step up and be your own pony. You need to come out of Gosling’s shadow.”
Some of the colour drained from Seville’s face, and he looked more than a little sweaty. “I’m just an earth pony, Twilight. I owe him everything. Everything I am and everything I’ve done is because he stepped in and saved me. Goose… he’s… carried me.” There was a hard gulp and then he added, “I couldn’t’ve made it to where I am without him, I don’t think. He’s carried me up to the clouds with him.”
“Seville…” Twilight reached out with her wings, wrapped them around his neck, and pulled him closer, until she stood neck to neck with him. “I was once that way with Celestia. Perhaps I still am. One day, she did something terrible to me. She sent me to Ponyville. Alone. I didn’t have her shadow to retreat to and feel safe. I didn’t have her reassurance. I came pretty close to convincing myself that I couldn’t function without her.”
Mindful that Bundt was watching and listening, Twilight allowed her cheek to brush up against Seville’s neck. “This is your Ponyville, Seville, and Gosling is your Celestia. These ponies need you. I need you. I’m pretty sure that Bundt needs you. I need you to get on the air and I need you to put an end to the panic. I need everypony to know that the show must go on, that everypony is going to be paid, and that nothing has changed. Everything will continue as planned. Can you do that?”
“Yeah… for you, I can do that. I think.”
“Good.” Unable to stop herself, Twilight chuckled and remembered the meeting with Seville’s parents. “We’re good at panicked reactions. When you introduced me and Pinkie to your mother and she flipped her lid at the idea of you dating a princess, you smoothed everything over by telling your mom that we were engaged. And just like that, we were engaged. We never got around to sorting that little detail out. There was never even a formal declaration. So, let’s just play this by ear and whatever will happen will happen.”
“I still can’t believe I said that… or that you went along with it.” Seville shuffled a bit and then his weight came to rest against Twilight.
“It made me happy to hear you say it,” Twilight confessed as she pulled away.
Sighing, Twilight sat down in a chair beside Bundt, slipped the headset over her ears, and then adjusted the microphone in front of her muzzle. A few switches were flipped, the vacuum tubes in the equipment radiated a rosy, cheerful glow, and there was a faint hum as everything powered up.
“Hello, my little ponies,” Twilight said into the microphone. “This is your princess speaking. You might have heard that the bake-off was cancelled, but this isn’t true. Bourgogne Blintz just tried to do as much damage as she could going out the door. Everything will continue as planned. Everypony will be paid, as promised. As your princess, I want you to know that I care about all of you and I want you to be happy. Please, enjoy the bake-off. Make the most of it. In a moment, Seville Orange, the trusted voice of truth and integrity will be signing on and perhaps, if I can manage it, the Element of Honesty might be joining him as well. Please, continue to have a good time and enjoy your day. This is your princess, signing off.”
With a flick of magic, Twilight flipped the switch.
“It feels good to be working with decent ponies,” Bundt remarked. “I’m gonna go save a bake-off if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I’ll do what needs to be done, but it better get me kisses.” Seville’s eyes darted around, no doubt to gain an understanding of the many switches, dials, and control knobs.
“And I’ll be out on the floor, doing what I can,” Twilight added. “We’ve got this!”
Jesus Christ, Twilight's gonna wipe these corrupt companies off the face of the Earth...But that's nothing compared to what Her MOM could do to em. Twilight Velvet would make these Corrupt Moneygrubbers WISH they were dealing with her daughter.
So no lashes, prison or exile? Just a financial penalty? Well that is certainly friendly. I suppose one shouldn’t exile imprison or lash ones friends.
might DO TO us
Why doesn't Twilight unleash her mother on these businesses? If you've got a weapon that effective, it seems like such a waist to not use it.
I also like the 'burn proof' speech. I'm a believer in the free market, but wiping out corruption until only the businesses that can run without it are left sounds like the ideal of economic survival of the fittest.
Lastly, my desire to witness this encounter with Seville's parents is only growing.
Where did that quote come from, again?
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A great many places. It is used throughout literature. It spans the length and breadth of culture.
Birthed through the Gauntlet of Blintz: Twilight, Defender of Public Interest enters the fray!
The worst part about capitalism is that it is the best economic system. Capitalism encourages greed, backstabbing, and many other nasty things to get ahead.
However, its this chaotic behavior that allows many small companies to start up and provide a service to anyone who wants to but it. If someone refuses to provide a service for a group of people, someone will be more than happy to take the discriminated party's money and provide that service.
I'm very curious as to just how many of the business-ponies in that room supported Mr. Mariner. If they did, they're certainly getting their just desserts now. If they didn't well I wager they wish now they'd supported him then.
A free market thrives as long as it adapts to market conditions.
Like a Princess setting the market on fire while filming the whole thing with enough spotlights to summon Batman sixteen times over so every scurrying roach gets their time on film. Those are challenging conditions, but I feel Equestria's industrial complex can adapt to them.
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i.imgur.com/9FSWqjF.png
The utter arrogance of Jolt and the other business leaders... utter ARROGANCE! This is Twilight Sparkle! She who fought Tirek! She who has SAVED THE WORLD so many times! This is going to be a slaughter! They're going to be destroyed. And this is absolutely everything that had to happen!
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Somepony has to make the spotlights, the cameras, the film, and the matches.
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The good businessman knows when to have a display of pitchforks and torches when he smells an incoming mob of customers, after all.
!//Hello world//?
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I think their attention was elsewhere.
Friends hold their friends to high standards.
I must ask did you do a major in economy and philosophy because damn you have some scary insight into the way or world works
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That's why safeguards should be put in place. Regulation minimizes abuses and levels the playing field. At the moment these super conglomerate businesses can effectively crush any up and coming businesses by just having more resources and by squeezing them out of the market. Even if the smaller business have a better product they could be destroyed by a big business. If everyone is forced to play by the same rules it makes it a bit more fair. Plus knowing that if a business can be destroyed by violating ethics or fair business standards has another side effect, those that do uphold those ethics and business standards can be waiting to swoop in and get that violating business's former customers.
See here, Twilight is the one fighting for social justice. Of course, she's a virtually autocratic ruler (compared to these businessponies, anyway) with the power to enforce what she fights for.
Most people, sadly, can only cry out into the void.
So... would the crown burn the entire Equestrian economy to the ground, and wait for something new to appear, or just nationalize everything? (You, in the back: no "repeating yourself" jokes. "Great idea. Wrong species" might not apply to ponies.)
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Honestly, that depends on the head wearing said crown.
Celestia would only strike out at the worst examples, smile, and try to trust in her belief of the inherent belief she holds that her little ponies are fundamentally good.
Luna... would gladly go back to how things once were. This modern economy stuff is too much of a liability. It presents too many weaknesses.
Cadance, the Empress, she would most certainly nationalise everything and then allow nobles to hold management positions.
Twilight stubbornly clings to the idea that if punished/rewarded enough, ponies will learn to be decent. She believes it is a matter of conditioning.
Now, beyond those four.
Prince Gosling would institute a bring your foal to work and put them in charge day. Just because it would be interesting to see what might happen. Hey, something could be learned.
Prince Blueblood would form a new network of corporate spies and there would be a series of unfortunate accidents that would remove the worst leaders from their position. Electric pencil sharpeners are dangerous, newfangled gadgets. Look out!
Prince Shining Armor would immediately introduce a military-enforced meritocracy. The best ponies would be appointed to the right positions and then given the resources to flourish. Hostile takeovers would be repelled with armed guards.
As for Prince Dim... he would be quietly removing those that Prince Blueblood or Prince Shining Armor deemed 'unsuitable.' Those found to have committed heinous crimes in secret... the last sound they hear would be somepony scolding them in Germane. If they heard anything at all, that is.
It's a balancing act neither too much regulation or too little is ultimately bad.
Sounds like mostly Celestia got things set up and was as much as possible hooves off. That's how people like Mariner got all the power they did. Also regulations dont work if not enforced or circumvented.
I too would love to see Twilight release her mom on them. . Then again Twilight apparently needs something to do..
KUDZU:: I think you left out UN in front of answered in the following line
Don’t think this won’t go answered
Twilight "Friendship Is Mandatory" Sparkle.
God I wish we had a Twilight to do this sort of thing in the real world. The corporate mindset is the biggest blight on the world these days. The bosses and their upper management flunkies get fat off their workers' efforts, while the workers are treated as close to slaves as they can get away with.
I'll never forget what my father's company did to him after 20ish years of effort, some of that probably pulling the whole company out of the fire at times. When his health started to go and he was looking at retirement, they looked for any excuse they could to fire him until they found one, then that screwed him out of any unemployment and most of his 401K. We're lucky it didn't cost him the option of going on disability too.
Oh you shouldn't have said that to her mister business pony, you're done for. Also Twily you marvelous ferocious mare, siccing your mother on them? Actually using the mom card as a weapon on ponies like them? You really really are my favorite pony.
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Hmm not really...
Especially in fields with a high entry threshold...
Capitalism ALWAYS concetrate money in the hand of the few... mainly because the capitalist system of offer and demand goes also on the workforce. So you start a devaluing spiral on the pays of the people.
There is only so many places of employment. And the advancement of technology is reducing them further.
Just as an example... now you get self checkout at the super market... that means that the cashiers are laid off but the money that we’re going to the cashiers are not coming off the prices they are going to the top level increasing their income and decreasing the utility for the society as a whole. That’s a problem.
Princess of Worker's Rights sounds like a good plan for helping the earth pony population that is being left behind.
Time for Bundt to grow into an exciting new role.
That sounds fair.
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What our world really needs is one or two immortal princesses that sets us straight from time to time...
*sings* we got this together
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You've got this!
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Or at least someone with the power and resources to stand up to wall street and kick over their crooked sand castles.
Catharsis
So that’s why twilight said “fiancé”. I was getting seriously bugged by that.
Twilight "Slash and Burn" Sparkle is a joy to behold. This is why democracy doesn't particularly work in Equestria. Ponies with authority, barring a few exceptions, seem to be utter fucking idiots who disrespect the entire reason they exist and continue to exist and have anything at all. No respect. No care. "I'M the real power!" You're nobody, how many times have you saved the world? None, and you even make life worse for hundreds of ponies? Wow.
...YO...
YO!
Hmm... how come she does everything I feel like I want to do often, but it feels like the beginning of darkness?