Ghostbusters Stairs

by Tailbiter231

Stairs!!!

"Hey guys, I just found out there's a Ghostbusters game for the NES," said Sandbar.

"Ghostbusters, one of my favorite movies!" said Smolder. "Too bad they don't have dragons there. According to Shrek, dragon flame can destroy ghosts."

"When there ghosts in Shrek?" said Yona.

"Shrek 3D," said Smolder. "The spinoff between the first two movies. Lord Farquaad returns as a ghost and Dragon re-kills him with a blast of flame."

"Of course, there are no ghosts in Equestria," said Ocellus. "So we can't really test that theory."

"How can you go wrong with Ghostbusters and NES put together?" said Sandbar.

"I'll tell you how," said Gallus. "It's one of the worst games ever. I tried playing it, and I wished I hadn't."

"What?" said Sandbar and Smolder.

"All it is is catching ghosts that do nothing to you. And you have to drive to your destination AFTER moving there on the map as the Ghostbusters logo. And when you get hit by other cars, you have to pay for the damage, which makes it hard to catch enough ghosts for the money to buy better equipment. But the absolute worst part is the stairs. The..."

"STAIRS?!" said Silverstream excitedly. "There are STAIRS in this game?"

"Trust me, you won't like these stairs," said Gallus. "There's 22 flights of stairs, and the ghosts are im..."

"Can I borrow this game?" said Silverstream quickly.

"If you want it that much, you can keep it. I was gonna destroy it next time I was at Griffonstone."

"Wow! This'll be more fun than the Endless Stairs in Super Mario 64!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

---

Silverstream plugged in the NES in her room at the School of Friendship, put Ghostbusters into it, and pressed Start.

"Ghostbusters!"

"Huh?" said Silverstream in response to the low-quality voice announcing the game's title. "That sounded kinda funny!"

Silverstream started playing the game, eager to get to these stairs Gallus was talking about.

It wasn't long before she was bored.

"I can see why Gallus hated this game," said Silverstream. "But it'll be worth it for these stairs!"

The stairs kept her motivated to avoid the crazy drivers and catch more ghosts, though she did get frustrated whenever some of the ghosts got out of range, occasionally flicking her tail the way Rainbow Dash did when the jocks made fun of her. She was able to get enough money for a Super Trap and a Ghost Vacuum.

"When do we get to the stairs?" said Silverstream after a few hours of playing the game. She was getting really tired of doing the same thing over and over, and listening to the repetitive 8-bit Ghostbusters song.

Could Gallus have just said that to pawn the game off on her? No. How could she think such a thing? He wouldn't do that to her, and he had been planning to destroy it.

She remembered the movie. Where in the movie was there lots of stairs? The answer came to her. The place where they fought Gozer, of course! She giggled at the thought of Gozer turning into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. The evil destructive entity's final form didn't look threatening at all, despite still being a threat.

If she had to guess, she'd say the final battle was set in the Zuul Building. Why is it named after one of Gozer's minions instead of Gozer himself? Or herself? Whatever. She moved to the Zuul Building and tried to enter it, but it wouldn't let her.

She remembered how the buildings would blink every time she could enter them to catch ghosts. Maybe all she had to do was catch more ghosts. So she found another building full of ghosts and caught them. She returned to the map, and moved to the Zuul Building, but it still wouldn't blink.

Silverstream sighed in disappointment and frustration. As she did, her head moved down slightly, and a few seconds later, a text slid by the bottom of the screen.

"Enter Zuul Building"

Silverstream lifted her head up immediately and pressed the A button. Of course, she had to drive to the Zuul Building first, but she was beside herself with anticipation. This was it. She was finally going to see these stairs! She drove close to the top of the screen, until a car hit her and she had to stay back like she usually did, but her heart was racing and she couldn't wait to reach her destination.

Finally, she reached the Zuul Building and entered.

"YES! STAIRS!!!"

Everyone nearby could hear her.

"She's about to find out the hard way," said Gallus. "She should've stuck with Super Mario 64."

Silverstream tried to move by pressing the control pad, but the three Ghosbusters wouldn't move. She tried everything, and when she hit A, they moved slightly. Silverstream started tapping A repeatedly, and they started to go up the stairs.

"Yes! And there's 22 of these if I remember what Gallus said! This is my new favorite game of all time! I don't care how long I have to tap A repeatedly!"

She had barely gone up the first flight of stairs when the ghosts knocked her down.

"What, these ghosts hurt you?"

She tried every button she could for a Proton Beam, but nothing would work. "Why can't you use the Proton Beam against the only ghosts that actually hurt you? No matter! I can just avoid them if it means more stairs!"

In the time it took her to do this, the ghosts knocked her down a second and third time, and she got a game over. Silverstream had to start over at the beginning. She groaned in frustration.

When she got to the Zuul Building again, she tried being cautious and avoiding the ghosts. At least she could be on these stairs for longer. But try as she might, she could only make it up a few stairs before getting another game over.

She looked at the store for an item that could help. Ghost Bait sounded promising, so she got some of it and set it at the bottom of the stairs when she reached the Zuul Building.

She gave a sigh of accomplishment and relief. "There, now these ghosts will stay at the bottom of the screen, and by the time they're finished, I'll be five stairs ahead of them! Maybe ten!" It was about time, too, for her claw was starting to get sore and tired from tapping A so much.

At first, ascending the stairs with the ghosts out of the way was extremely satisfying.

Until the screen moved, and the ghosts moved with it.

"Uh-oh," said Silverstream. "Wait... they'll still be drawn to the food, right?"

But as soon as the ghost bait was out of sight, the ghosts went after her again. She tapped A frantically, but the ghosts killed her again. She slammed her tail on the ground.

She got to the Zuul Building again and tried it without the ghost bait, this time using her wings to hold the remote in order to rest her claws, but it ended the same way.

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH!"

Gallus could hear her frustrated groan from his room. "I told her."

Suddenly Silverstream heard a knock on her door. She set her controller down, flew over to the door, and opened it.

"Hello, Silverstream," said King Sombra.

"Hi Sombra!" Silverstream and Sombra had become fast friends over their love for stairs.

"I couldn't help but hear you playing some kind of video game about stairs," said Sombra. "Do you mind if I give it a try?"

"Trust me, you WON'T like these stairs," said Silverstream. "They're evil stairs! They'll kill you every time and you'll have to start over from the beginning. Don't fall into their trap!"

"Let me try."

Silverstream led Sombra to the game, and he started playing it.

"OK, when do we get to the stairs?" said Sombra, irritated after about ten minutes of driving and catching ghosts.

"Just keep catching ghosts and keep an eye open for "Enter Zuul Building" at the bottom of the map screen."

"These stairs had better be worth it."

Eventually, he got to the Zuul Building.

"Ah, stairs!" Sombra licked his lips and eagerly tapped the control stick. "How do I move?"

"Tap A repeatedly. Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous."

So, Sombra started tapping A at lightning fast speed, moving up the stairs and avoiding the ghosts.

"Can you use proton beams on them?"

"No. I tried every single button on that remote and you can't use them here. They just DON'T want you to climb up those stairs! How could they ruin the name of stairs like this?"

It wasn't long before Sombra got a game over. But he remained calm and played through the game again.

"So now that you've seen it, do you have a plan for getting by them?" said Silverstream.

"Yes," said Sombra. "A cheat code."

"Really? How?"

"My magic can do any cheat code Game Genie can do, and more."

"So... invincibility cheat?"

"That should do it."

"YES!" Silverstream jumped into the air, her wing narrowly missing Sombra's head.

As soon as Sombra was inside the Zuul Building again, his horn glowed green with purple particles and he cast a cheat code spell. "There, now I should be invincible. One more thing." He cast another spell to give the remote a Turbo button. "Press this button while holding A down. Then whenever you hold A it will be like tapping it repeatedly. If you want it to stop, hit Clear while holding A."

"You're so awesome!"

Silverstream watched in awe as Sombra climbed the stairs, impervious to damage from the ghosts. Sombra licked his lips again, loving the stairs as much as Silverstream.

Finally, after the 22 flights of stairs, they reached the top.

"Aw, it's over?" said Silverstream. "I bet the final boss is just as bad as the rest of the game."

"Let's beat this thing that tainted the name of stairs," said Sombra, and he entered the boss room to fight Gozer.

"Wow, that's... actually not bad compared to the rest of the game," said Silverstream.

When Sombra beat Gozer, the ending screen appeared. Sombra looked closely at it.

"Conglaturation? Prooved? There are two typos on this screen!"

"Three," said Silverstream, who normally would have laughed at these spelling mistakes. "'You have completed a great game'? This is the worst game I ever played! Even the stairs! You can't beat it without a cheat code! They give stairs a bad name!"

"I can leave the cheat code in here permanently if you want," said Sombra.

"No, I'll smash it with a rock the next time I go to Seaquestria."

"If you don't want it anymore, then... can I have it?"

"Knock yourself out!" Silverstream took the cartridge out of the NES and gave it to Sombra. "I'll stick with the Endless Stairs anyway."

"Thank you," said Sombra.

"And thank YOU for getting me up those stairs!"

They did a brohoof, and Sombra left Silverstream's room.

Silverstream hooked up the Nintendo 64, which had Super Mario 64 in it already, and selected her file that she'd always keep under 70 Stars for so she could climb the Endless Stairs.

It was so refreshing to climb a flight of video game stairs she could love without anything annoying getting in the way.

Comments

[Dan]

Nice.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/155895/the-adorable-awesome-video-game-colt

In a few vids, Mr. Rolfe has mentioned his daughter loves ponies. He also has a ponified Nerd figurine on his shelf, probably donated by a fan.

[Tailbiter231]

9062832
Did you notice the part where Silverstream holds the controller with her wings, and almost hit Sombra in the head with them? I thought you'd like that.

The Endless Stairs in Super Mario 64 is an endless flight of stairs where you can't reach the top unless you get 70 Stars. Then it's not that long. The interesting thing is, no matter how long you run up the Endless Stairs, you don't get any farther from the bottom (it's impossible to change the camera angles right to play around with this).

As for Ghostbusters... well, everything in the story speaks for itself. The movie was popular, but its NES game is one of the worst video games ever made. And yes, the ending screen actually does have those typos. AVGN reviewed a whole bunch of really bad games, but again, if coarse language or vulgar expressions bother you, you might not like his reviews. If you don't mind it, though, his reviews are entertaining.

[Bumblebee16]

I like ghostbusters

[Jake The Army Guy]

I had this game on the Sega Master System as a kid. It killed my childhood...

[Droll1]

And so, Sombra weaponized the stairs.

[Tailbiter231]

9063566
And there's plenty more where it came from. A lot of the NES games based off popular movies were bad, kinda like the reverse of MLP: FiM. They even messed up all three Indiana Jones games. (The Nerd pulled out the Temple of Doom cartridge's heart)

Edit: Oh, Sega Master System version? I forgot about that part, I mainly remembered Part 1 of the review and his spell check for the ending screen.

[Tailbiter231]

Oh, yesterday I just climbed the Cultists' Tower on Final Fantasy VI. (Which most of you probably know as Filly Fantasy VI) It's similar in appearance, but there are 37 flights of stairs there. You don't have to press A repeatedly to move, you move the same as usual, but random encounters will be difficult because you can only use magic. (And the boss at the top is overpowered, and when he dies he casts Ultima, which kills your whole party) However, I equipped Reflect Rings with my entire party (which reflect all magic except Ultima), furthermore, though you have to know it's there to get it, you can get Molulu's Charm and equip Mog with it, it will block random encounters.

There's still the cult leader but Reflect Rings reflect his attacks back at him without making him change his immunity/weakness. And for Ultima, if I cast Reraise (learned through Phoenix Magicite which you obtain after Locke rejoins) it will immediately revive whoever it's cast on next time they die in that battle. (And actually, this time around, Edgar actually survived Ultima, he's like Level 64 now)

Even without random battles and knowing I have a very simple way to defeat the cult leader... climbing the 37 stairs could be tedious.

9062844
I did notice the pony Nerd figurine during his review of games based off him. That would also explain his "makes me want to punch a pony" comment in one of his later videos. I don't recall any other mentions of pony, so they must've been in his Board James videos.

[Dan]

10763609
It was a James and Mike Monday Romhacks episode, I *think*.

[Shrinky Frod]

Ah, yes, the only two who could love that abomination of a game.

I think my favorite part is how you can basically have the end of the game start at any random momemt, including within minutes of starting.

[Yoshifan30]

"How can you go wrong with Ghostbusters and NES put together?" said Sandbar.

Well you see sandbar.....

[Yoshifan30]

Well this was a pretty random story but pretty funny and I did remember watching the review of the Ghostbusters video game on Nintendo and yeah it is really bad I still don't know how in the world they let this happen and make it so bad they had so many opportunity to make it look like awesome but they wasted on just making a generic ghost making the game a little bit too difficult and only put one music in there as the Video Game Nerd always say what were they thinking anyway this was a pretty fun one keep up the good work

[NicLove]

A.V.G.N. Ghostbusters PlayList

[Tailbiter231]

10835662
Of all the bad games based off popular movies, hell, of all the games he's reviewed, this one stands out as being one of the worst, though the Nerd says Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is still the worst game ever (with ET apparently a close second), not counting ones that barely qualify as a game such as Plumbers Don't Wear Ties or Hong Kong 97. The monotonous gameplay of catching ghosts and avoiding drunk drivers is one thing and probably would've made the game standard fare for the games he reviews, but those stairs... even without the proton beam, whose idea was it to have you TAP A REPEATEDLY to climb 22 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS instead of just using the control pad? And it STILL would be virtually impossible to get by the ghosts without a cheat code.

It's so true every time he says "What were they thinking?" His encyclopedia even has an article on that phrase. So many of these games had so many things that could have been done better. Even a later version of Ghostbusters that has you able to use your proton beam on the stairs, it's almost impossible to hit the ghosts with them. (And they misspelled Gozer's name as "Gorza")