Pinkie walked up onto a temporary stage a few minutes later, with Dash right behind her. Both wore striped shirts and carried canes, and Dash was blushing like mad.
“What are they going to do?” Sketchy asked.
Applejack shook her head. “I don’t rightly know, but I get the feeling it’s gonna be disturbing.”
Dash looked about ready to bolt. “Don’t make me do this, Pinkie.”
“No way,” Pinkie said. “You said you’d do anything to help. What kind of a friend would I be if I let you break your word?”
“Just kiss already,” somepony in the crowd shouted.
Pinkie laughed. “Now why would we do that? We’re here to sing you a song.” She grinned and waved her cane to Dash.
A bunch of different emotions warred across Dash’s face, mostly anger and terror.
“Come on, Dashie.” Pinkie nudged her with her cane.
Dash sighed. “Fine.” She took a deep breath then smiled widely and called, “Say, Pinkie, there’s a stallion I like, but I just can’t think of a way to get his attention.”
“Well, I can,” Pinkie said.
“You can?”
“Sure, just get a sexy picture of yourself drawn by Frameless Sketcher.”
Dash faked a gasp. “Really, do you think that’ll work?”
“Of course it will,” Pinkie said. “His art’s so good there’s only one way to describe it.”
“And what’s that?”
Pinkie took a big breath and began to sing. “Why it’s globular-buttical, poundica-plotical, rumpical, rearical fun!”
Dash fell in with her own part, “Fleshical-orbical, flankular-bouncical?”
“Right-o, that’s the one!”
“Is it gluteal maximal, tushical-crackular, bunular morning till night?”
“Well, your absitogladular, fanny-fantastical, tailica-swingular right!”
The two of them locked hooves and began to dance while singing in unison, “It’s a plot-icalogical, autoerotical, buttical, bouncial joy, an exposular-regional, asset-a-logical, fun for girl and boy! A blush at the beakical, stare at the cheeksical, bunular joy in its call.”
Pinkie grinned. “The most bunular-funular.”
“Fruit-of-the-loomular,” Dash added.
“Frenchical-tongular.”
“Tailular-tushular.”
The two of them raised their hooves to the ceiling. “Artwork of them aaalll!” They struck poses and held them.
Silence filled the room. Applejack could almost hear everypony’s brains trying to process the sheer absurdity they’d just witnessed. Then something must’ve clicked, because the crowd started laughing, and cheering, and applauding like mad.
“Thank you, thank you,” Pinkie called. “I hope you all enjoyed that, but seriously, Frameless Sketcher is a great artist who just moved to town, so let’s show him some Ponyville love and commission a bunch of his awesome artwork. I know your special someponies won’t be disappointed.” She winked. “Oh, and he’s also looking for a full-time model, if anypony’s interested. Now, are there any questions?”
Applejack turned to Sketchy as the Q and A started. “You don’t seem near as shocked as you were the first time Pinkie and Dash sang a song about rears.”
“I suppose I got used to it after the first time,” Sketchy said. “Do you really think this will help?”
“Don’t worry,” Applejack said. “Nothing sticks in a pony’s head like a song, and every time they think of this one, they’ll think about your business.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Sketchy said.
Pinkie and Dash walked over to Applejack after the crowd had thinned out.
“Ugh,” Dash groaned, “that was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
Applejack chuckled. “Maybe so, but we do appreciate you two helping out.”
“Is there anything I can do to repay you?” Sketchy asked.
“Just seeing all the smiles was worth it,” Pinkie said.
“Maybe for you.” Dash shuddered. “Anyway, can you arrange a time to draw me soon? I’ve got a Wonderbolts show next week, and I want to get a couple of pictures drawn and copied so I can sign them for my fans.”
“You sure that’s allowed?” Applejack asked.
“Spitfire said it’d be fine,” Dash said. “So do you have any openings? You know, since you’re his manager now?”
“Yeah,” Pinkie said, “when did that happen?”
Applejack sighed. “It was sort of an accident.” She opened a small notebook and looked through it. “Rarity’s got him scheduled to draw the spa twins later today, and we’ve got an appointment with Cloud Kicker tomorrow. We could fit you in before the twins, but it’d have to be in the next hour or so.”
“Sounds good,” Dash said. “I’ll go ask Twilight if she’s available.”
“Why?” Applejack asked.
“I need somepony to hold me in the air while he draws me,” Dash said. “It’ll also give her a chance to talk to him about …” She glanced at Sketchy. “You know.”
“Right,” Applejack grumbled, “that.”
“What?” Sketchy asked.
“Never mind.” Applejack shook her head. “How long do you think it’ll take you to get back to your apartment and grab your supplies?”
“A few minutes,” Sketchy said.
“Good,” Applejack said. “Go get ‘em. If Twi’s available, we’ll draw Dash now. If not, we can head to the spa early.” She turned to Dash. “You go ask Twi. Meet us back here.”
“What about me?” Pinkie asked.
Applejack stared at her. “Uh, what about you?”
“It’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it?” Pinkie said sagely. “Anyway, you have fun. I’ve got to get back to work!” She bounced over to the counter, still wearing her hat and shirt.
“Was I supposed to understand that?” Sketchy asked.
“I hope not,” Applejack said. “Because I sure didn’t.”
I....... I have no words, just, bravo sir, an inspired masterpiece about the synonymy's for an ass
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If the video and your readers/followers are any indication, you are in good company...
Before I read your author's note at the bottom, Pinkie and Dash's tune sounded like this in my head. I read it with Bert's cadence.
Yours makes more sense, though. Right from the source, no less.
Both Disney, too!
Wauw..... that took a while to wrap my head around. I don't even wanna know how long it took you to come up with that.
9060964
Blame MST3K for the "symphony." That clip in the author's note is from them.
9060977
Lol, that's how I felt after I wrote it too.
9061008
That's true. We all need help.
9061027
That one works really well too. Thanks for sharing!
9061067
I'm ashamed to admit it, but not too long. I happened to be watching old episodes of MST3K when I heard them singing a song all about butts and other body parts. I knew right away what I had to do.
I feel like I heard that somewhere else before
Knew I'd find one eventually~
9061319
Possibly in the linked video.
9061323
Thanks for spotting that! I'll go fix it.
9061329
They tend to infect stories sometimes. Like a computer virus. Try rebooting the story.
Oh my God!
Not only is this a Great AJ fic.
Not only does it warm the heart.
But it has a MsT3K reference.
SOLD!!!!
9061351
FINALLY! I've been explaining to people all day what MST3K even is!
9061364
Are you fucking serious.
One of the best things to come out of the Twin Cities, along with the Jucy Lucy, the Winter Carnival, the State Fair, Prince, the Peanuts, waterskiing, Garrison Keillor, etc.
9061390
Sadly, yes, and I love MST3K. I binged the entire new series when they added it to Netflix.
9061482
I can't say I have actually watched that much MST3K, but I do like the characters and the off-movie storylines.
Also Space Mutiny. That's probably my favorite, it's so BAD.
Wow, that was very interesting! But in a good way.
Nice job!
9061591
I'll take interesting over boring any day.
9061485
My favorite is Devil Fish. So hilariously stupid on every level!
9061364
Plebians. Watch some real TV. Check out Robot Co-op, on you tube if you want some great game riffing, endorses by Mike Nelson!
9061485
"Slab Bulkhead!"
"Smash Lampjaw!"
"Roll Fizzlebeef!"
"Crunch Buttsteak!"
"Big McLargehuge!"
Ahh, there's nothing like the classics...
Sitting here...waiting for the next chapter...
Oh boy! You really caught me with your story
What were they singing about?
PINKIE RAINBOW
Allow me Twilight dear, At this rate I see an engagement on our future...
Well disengage !
But but but but but but Ooooooooookay
9061722
"Bob Johnson!"
... I guess I'm the only one to have read the song and replaced the tune with the Flim-Flam Brothers Super Squeezy 3000 song. Even using the same moves.
You know...the more I think about this, the more it makes sense.
Applejack doesn’t want to be taken care of, she wants somepony who needs her.
She is a nurturer. I hope Sketch sees the potential in her as a Marefriend.
9061708
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll go give it a look.
9061776
Glad to hear it! And the next chapter should be up in a few minutes.
9062028
Lol, nice.
9062186
They were wearing the same outfits, so I can see that.
9062188
As soon as someone explains to him what a marefriend is, at least.
Recognized the song, that's some real class you've got there.
And now every time I see Flim and Flam I'm going to get that song in my head. Now to hope I don't start humming the ruddy tune in work...
9069807
I'm not sure if I should say "You're welcome," or "I'm sorry." Let's go with a little from Column A and a little from Column B.
HMMMMMMMMM
wat?
oh god
how...?
how did you come up with that song?
its epic!
I LOVE IT
Edit: That video...
wat was that even?
9069940
MST3k did a similar song about boobs.
9072308
That's the video in the author's note, actually.
I must compliment you for your excellent taste in riffing. I read the chapter and was thinking, 'this is incredibly familiar where did I hear this before?' Then you answered that question with aplomb.
Although my personal favorite is 'She-Creature'. [Episode 808]
9075195
Ah MST3K, it will always hold a special place in my heart.
9077012
All I can do is repeat what I put in the author's notes for chapter one: I have no explanation, but I also have no regrets.
Ah. An extended MST3K reference.
...Welp, here's your fave. You earned it.
Meanwhile, Sketchy will be thinking about Applejack's "business."
colorfully.eu/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/if-you-know-what-i-mean-bean.jpg
I've never seen more than a few minutes of MST3K, but before I watched the video, I read the song in Flim and Flam's voices. I wonder if I'm the only one.