As the morning rays of the sun bathed the castle, both Princess Celestia and Prince Blueblood had a nice little stroll in their garden as she levitated some books with her magic.
“What are we doing here so early Aunty? Not that I'm complaining or don't like your company but isn't this the time when you are preparing for day court?” Blueblood mentioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Before yesterday, I would have agreed with you Blueblood, but due to the recent events with the noble you captured and that proclamation of groups planning a regicide, security measures had to be put in place and my usual duties put on hold. Until the problem is resolved at least." She mentioned before looking back at him with a smile "Besides, threat or no threat I did promise you that we will study some advanced magic as soon as you recovered, and I intend to keep it."
That caught the attention of the prince "Wait, so you are going to teach me new and more powerful spells?" He asked, getting excited by the idea as his aunt nodded with a smile.
"Indeed, but not here, in the open it's too dangerous, usually I would have just invited you to one of my classes and teach you with all my other students, but since we are under alert right now, it will be safer if we train in secret." She explains as they continue to walk and eventually stopped once they reached the entrance of the labyrinth. The princess used her magic to open a secret entrance tunnel with a dusty concrete road on, the path located on the ground near its entrance. "Only Luna, Cadence and I know about this room, it will be the perfect place to start our lessons," She tells before stepping aside "After you."
The prince nodded before entering the tunnel, the princess soon following and closing the door behind her, before illuminating the room with her horn, revealing ancient pictures of past wars and battles on its walls. "What is this place?" Blueblood asks as they walk through the tunnel.
"The vault of war, Canterlot history and recollection of past battles, wars and conflict that we have endured and overcome since its creation." Celestia explained "Every major event that has ever happen in here has being recollected and painted in this wall so they can endure the pass of time." She mentions as they continue to advance until they reach a spacious and well-lit room thanks to some diamonds that act as a source of light, equipped with training dummies, some weapons, training equipment and a ring in the center.
"And here we are, mine and Luna’s personal training room." Celestia tells as she stepped inside and put her regalia on a nearby dummy and the books on a wooden table. "In the past this room served to train unicorns in dark arts, but now I mostly use it when I wish to polish my moves and where no pony will bother…" Before she has time to finish that sentence they hear some humming near them and when they turn around, the two discover some weird snake type of creature made out of what looks to be different animals parts, casually drawing on the walls with some crayons. "…us..."
"Ammm, Aunty do you also see…?" The prince slowly asks as he raises his hoof toward the creature.
"I'm seeing it Blueblood," She tells in irritation before approaching him, the creature seemly ignorant of their presence "Discord!" The princess yells in anger, startling the creature and causing him to crumble into pieces before re-assembling in front of her. The acting managing to scare and force Blueblood to back away a little. "Oh princess, you scared me," He tells with a smirk before looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "You know it's rude to sneak up toward others while they are in their secret painting room."
"Secret painting…Discord this place is an ancient room used to train the best warriors Equestria ever had, not your personal studio!" The princess tells in irritation
Wait a minute, Discord? Discord? Why does that name sound familiar? Blueblood pounders as the princess and the creature continue to argue.
"Well excuse me, princess. No pony seems to be using it, and when I saw all those drawings on the wall on the way here I believed this place served another purpose." He then notices that she wasn't wearing her regalia "Although it seems that it serves for more than just training."
Celestia doesn't let his staring bother her as she continues "Those drawings are portrayed of past battles and…" The princess sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose "Discord, please tell me you didn't paint over any of those drawings?"
"Oh tsk, tsk, tsk, Celestia, you think so poorly of me I would never interfere with the work of a fellow agent of chaos." Discord tells her as he appeared wearing a brush, a painting table with some colors and a beret.
After taking a breath to calm down the princess looks back at their unexpected guest much more relaxed. "Well that is a worry I can lift off my shoulders. Now, can you explain why are you here? Normally I wouldn't mind your unexpected visits but today is not a good time."
"Is that so?" Discord looked at her with a smirk while snapping his fingers and returning to normal.
Wow, how did he do that? Is he like this world's version of the genie? Blueblood wonders in surprise at his antics.
"Could it perhaps be related to why Canterlot is being so chaotic recently?" He asks in intrigue. "I took some days off from my busy schedule of bringing some chaos here and there and what do I find when I return? Nobles panicking everywhere? Old laws being revived? A pony transform into a statuette? Honestly Celestia, throwing a chaos party and you don't invite me? I'm deeply offended!" He mentions as he wraps himself around the princess like a snake.
"That’s because all of that, was out of my control." Celestia defended herself before smiling "Besides, it couldn't be call a 'chaotic party' if you plan for it, right? So, how can I invite you, when not even I knew what was going on?" Discord was about to respond pointing at her only to be left silent and then unwrapped himself. "Well played."
He then starts to lazily float around the room, rocking himself back and forward on his body, pretending that he was on a hammock "So care to put me up to speed with what is going on?" He tells while closing his eyes
The princess sighed and shook her head. "Is that all you want?"
He pops into existence on her mane. "I will be out of your mane as soon as you explain things up to and how your nephew is now the new hot topic."
"Before we do that, can I ask who or exactly what are you?" Blueblood asked with a raised eyebrow, gaining the attention of Discord as he looks at him with a smile
"Would you like to know?" He appears in the center of the room and levitates the prince before making the drawings he was making move. "Here, let me draw you a picture, it all started when a young and mischievous lord of chaos…" Discord started to explain using a drawing, a version of himself when something makes him stop and he puts the Prince down as he looked at him confused.
"Wait a minute." He stood in front of him and conjured a magnifier which he used to look into his ear. "There is something wrong here, you are definitely the same prince I know and love to prank occasionally, but at the same time you are not. Almost like you are a pony I haven't seen before. You have a new look I can't understand." He tells turning into a monkey and jumping into his hair before checking for lice "New haircut?" He asks looking at the prince face to face.
"Um.."
Before he could answer Celestia picks Discord up in her magic and levitated him away "Ok Discord that is enough, there is no need for you to scare him."
"Me? Scare him?" Discord turns back to normal and looks at her honestly surprise "He is the one that is confusing me!" He tells her pointing at Blueblood and then at himself "ME, The spirit of chaos, how can that, even be possible?"
The princess just sighs and shakes her head "It's kind of a long story, but for now, I think the first thing in order is the introductions." She tells before presenting one another.
"Nephew, meet Discord. An ancient magical creature and the personification of chaos itself." Celestia tells pointing at Discord "He is a…friend of the family." She tells after thinking about it for a brief moment.
"Ah! I get it now, nice to meet you Discord!" Blueblood tells with a wave which just keeps confusing the lord of chaos while also making multiply question marks appear out of nowhere above his head, as Celestia turns to Discord "And Discord meet once again my nephew, Blueblood. He had a recent close encounter with death and well…" She then realized something "Wait, shouldn't you already be knowing all of this? You read the article, didn't you?"
"Oh please Celestia, you really thought that I couldn't sniff out fake news?" He mentions while crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow "Yes I read it, but after looking over all the chaos that it's making, I simply needed to know what was all the commotion." He tells appearing with a notebook and a hat that says 'Press' on it making the princess of the day giggle "I suppose it is kind of pointless keeping a secret from you, isn't it?"
"Yep, so tell me all about it and do not cut corners I want to know every single detail," He tells in excitement as he continues to write in his notebook so fast that it actually catch itself on fire before the ash left behind swirls back towards his hand before reforming back into the notebook.
"Wait!" Blueblood yell startling the princess "I just remembered," He tells with a smile before approaching Discord "A friend of yours told me about you, she said that I couldn't possibly miss you once I saw you," He ponders before looking back at Discord "She wasn't lying."
He just chuckles and poses in front of him "What can I say?" He transformed into a baseball trading card and floats toward Blueblood until he picks it up, Discord talking with him wearing a baseball uniform "I'm one of a kind."
Blueblood chuckle at his antics "And that is to put it lightly, also I have a message for you."
"Oh really?" Discord teleports and returns to normal. "What is it? Did Fluttershy wish for me to bring some new tea? Want to make a nice little picnic in my dimension? Oh! Perhaps she wants to make a play date with Twilight Sparkle?" He tells him constantly teleporting the three to his home, a tea shop, and even Twilight’s castle as she brushes her teeth, almost swallowing her toothbrush from the scare.
"Take us back Discord." Celestia tells him with some annoyance.
He rolls his eyes, causing them to fall out and roll on the floor before he picks them back up, but compiles and they found themselves back in the cave. Blueblood laughing at what happened "Oh yeah, you two really are alike, and no it's not Fluttershy who asked me for a favor."
That confused Discord as he turns to him "It’s not?"
Blueblood shake his head "Nope, it was Lady Death."
"Lady Death? I don't know anyone by that…" Discord eyes wide in realization "Wait, you mean THE Lady Death? The grim reaper? The mare of a thousand faces? Wears a hoodie and likes to use a lot of makeup?" Discord asks with some degree of worry as he passes his claw on his face and seconds later he looks like he was wearing skull makeup. "THAT Lady Death!?"
"That is the one, although I'm confused with the face thing, she looked like Pinkie when we talked, or that is also part of the 'no logic' thing?" Blueblood ponders as Celestia moves Discord away from him.
"Now you understand why this is not a good moment for your visit?" She tells in sadness "A lot of things have happened and are spinning out of control these past weeks. The biggest of them all was his event with death itself, but the experience has allowed me a second chance, for me to reconnect with my family." She then looked at him with pleading eyes directly into his. "Please Discord, in the past I wasn't there for Blueblood when he needs me the most. I want to make up for lost time."
Discord gets uncomfortable at the display and backs away. "Ok, ok! I get it! I will leave you two alone just stop making that face! Geez Celestia, you only needed to tell me that this was a family thing you were doing." He complains while rolling his eyes multiple times in different directions. "I know when a pony needs a moment. I learned my lesson since the worm incident." He says while shivering a bit from the memory. "Just make sure to tell me the story later, ok? I still want to know what is going on here."
Celestia smile and nods. "You have my word."
"Plus I want you to consider my idea for your day court too, Celestia. I mean come on! Just think about it. A Royal Jester? Say Goodbye to a boring meeting for life." He offers her with a smile as she rolls her eyes with a smile.
"You really want to wear that hat with the bells don’t you?"
"No pony should be torture with so many hours of uninterrupted boredom." Discord complains.
"I will consider it." Celestia finally tells him as they go back over to Blueblood who looks at both confused. "Did something happen?"
The princess shake her head. "Not at all, I was just explaining to him why this wasn't the best moment for a visit." She mentions pointing at the books "Nothing against him but due to how advanced the spells are, concentration is needed and we can't afford distractions."
"You know if you want to teach him some new magic I could be of help." Discord offered lifting one of his claws but Celestia stoped him using one of her wings "Don't."
He just rolls his eyes and looks at Blueblood. "Yeah, that and because this sounds boring, I decided to leave for now and come back later but before that, didn't you say you have a message from old Death?"
"Yep," The prince tells with a nod "D asked me to tell you that she is ready to cash in that favor you own her." The prince explains, as the princess slowly turns to Discord with a raised eyebrow "Favour you own her? Why would the lord of chaos own death herself a favor?"
"Oh I could tell you, but look at the clock!” He tells her while conjuring a cuckoo clock that he was wearing as a wrist clock "I'm going to be late for my head polisher!" He tells taking his own head off and starts to clean it like its a bowling ball. "I would love to stay and chat but I have to bounce bye!" Discord then turn into a ball and bounced off the wall before he was swallowed by one of them like it was made of water leaving the prince confused and startled by all that.
"Well…that was definitely random." He says before turning to Celestia who just chuckled and shook her head.
"That is Discord for you, a random and chaotic being that just does what he likes, comes unannounced and loves to play harmless pranks from time to time. But at the end of the day, he is still a kind and good guy you can always count on. He even saved Equestria once." Celestia explains.
"Wait really?" Blueblood looked at her in surprise.
"Yes, I will tell you about it some other day. For now what do you say we start our lessons?" She says with some excitement as she levitates a book and starts to skim through its pages before stopping on one. "Ah here is a useful one, I believe it could help you escape if you are ever encountered by a difficult situation in the future. The 'Teleportation Spell.'" She explains as she goes toward him and shows him the pages.
"Now Blueblood listen closely, in order for you to perform this spell the first thing you need to do is clear your mind and have a mental image of your entire body, try your hardest to not leave anything out."
Meanwhile in the realms of souls
The Discord ball bounced into existence as Death picks it up and start to play with it.
"Discord!" She throws it and the lord of chaos reappeared shaking his head from the dizziness. "Did you miss me?" Death asks poking his stomach "Admit it, you missed me."
The lord of Chaos just chuckled as he looks at her "D, I see you are still as creepily happy as ever." He tells her while being a bit uncomfortable.
"Aw, are you still weirded out that I'm like that pinkie pie character you told me about despite my job description?" She tells him while prancing around him in the middle of the air.
"Yes, and it doesn't help that now you decided to take the shape of her as well." Discord comments making her stop.
"Would you have preferred my other form?" She asks him with a smirk before growing until she is the size of Canterlot mountain and has a black dress ending in fog and a very big hat made of thorns.
IS THIS BETTER?! Her booming voice was enough to make everything shake violently.
"Aw! Ok, ok! I take it back! Now change into the other form!"
She goes back to looking alike Pinkie "I knew it." She says with a smirk as she pulls an oz from her mane and used it to draw in the dirt floor the two were.
Clearing his ear Discord decided to follow along. "I meet with Blueblood today."
"The prince? Oh, he is a great kisser!" She tells with a giggle before looking at him "So I imagine that he delivered my message?"
"Yes." Discord nods as he floats to look at her face to face. "So you finally want some chaos in your life, eh Death? I knew you would eventually get bored of all that partying of yours."
"Ah? Nah, I'm living the dream Discord! And I love it! I just need your help with a small project I gave the green light to." She tells not looking at him as he finishes with the drawing.
"Some old friends want to go for a visit in Equestria." She explains pointing at the drawings on the ground making Discord raise an eyebrow in intrigue "Them?"
"Yup, but you know the drill. I can move souls, but can't give them solid bodies like you can, so what do you say Discord? For old times sake, would you help me give them a solid body for a bit?" She asks him with hopeful eyes.
Discord thinks it over before responding "Well the idea of them walking around town certainly sounds like it could be very chaotic, can we invite more ponies for the party?" He asks with an evil grin.
"Nooooo!" D tells him still in her cheerful matter.
He sigh and shake his head "Such a waste, fine I will help, but after that, we are even."
"Yay!!" Death tells as she lifts her oz and from it, a white light starts to shine as three souls go and merge with the drawings on the floor.
He then thinks of something "And now you will owe Blueblood a favor."
"Oh I don't mind owing him a favor." Death tells while continuing her incantation "He is not that kind of naughty as you are." She tells with a giggle making Discord flinch.
"Honestly Death, sometimes even I don't know what is passing through that head of yours, and that is saying something." Discord mentions as he grabs her oz and lends some of his power to her.
The eyes on the three drawings open as they start to rise from the ground.
Death blocking the view of the three figures as she looks behind and smiles "Foreshadowing!"
Wait, am I really first?
Amazing chapter, as always!
What is an oz?
So, what is Pinkie Death bringing to Equestria? And how will she owe Blueblood for this?
Awesome-tastic!!!
9163275
Hmmm I think I know how to change it to make more sense, just a moment
I think you mean "owe" instead of "own." And what is an oz?
9163283
thanks I will change it, and the oz thing already change it. Its supposed to be a scythe but I forgot its name
Agreed. Awesome as always. Though kind of baffled what the "oz" is.. maybe chalk?
9163288
change it, sorry for the confusion. Its a scythe what she pull and used to draw
Discord doesn't OWN death a favor, he OWES her a favor. Aleo, what the heck is an 'oz' and how do you draw with it?
9163313
Press refresh, already correct those two issues…unless it takes a while before the changes appear. In which case, just give it time.
And to answer your question: Its a scythe and she is using either the blade or the handle to draw
what is going to happen now the death herself is entering the playing feild
9163320
Sorry! I left the comment after I finished reading the chapter, but didn't refresh to load comments...
Death is adorable. Am I allowed to find Death adorable?
9163362
You may and also for all of you that were wondering why Death looked like Pinkie, there you go. She can shape shift, her form is like a shirt she choose what face to wear.
9163356
Its ok, things like that happen
I detect persy Jackson in this scene (hades)
9163584
Maybe for the best, there is still 2 more chapters before the grammar improved. Its a slow process but me and my friends are working with the editing. I will send you a message once we clean all those mistakes
Hm, looks like this chapter needs a lot more editing.
I see that you're mixing tenses a lot. You're trying to use the present tense everywhere, and while it might seem like an easier way to write at first, I believe it leads to a lot of awkward sentence structure. I think that in the long run past tense is simpler.
There's also a lot of unusual punctuation. Commas show up in places they shouldn't be, and are missing where they should.
I think you should try breaking up your sentences into smaller ones, separated with periods rather than commas.
Also, most of the time you use the verb "tell" incorrectly.
Tell, in the sense of speaking to someone, is a transitive verb. That means you MUST specify a person who you're telling something to. You can say "'Yes, he is very unpredictable', Celestia tells the prince" although it's awkward usage, so it's always better to find an alternative like "'Yes, he is very unpredictable', Celestia explains".
Anyways, here's a few fixes:
The bolded sentence shows how awkward tenses can get if you try writing in present tense. This should probably be "before she had time to finish ... they heard", but that would be past tense and would be inconsistent with the rest of the story.
Moving on...
The above has some broken punctuation, there should be no comma after base, but this sentence is such a mess it should probably be rewritten completely:
"She says with a smirk as she pulls out a scythe decorated with a chibi skull from her mane. She uses it to draw a pattern on the dirt floor they now found themselves at."
This one needs a rewrite:
"Yay!", Death exclaims. She lifts her scythe, which starts glowing white as it releases three souls. The souls merge with the drawings on the floor.
There's definitely a lot of stuff I missed, this is just a rough first pass, I might make a second one later.
"My Lord has need of these flowerets gay,"
The Reaper said, and smiled;
"Dear tokens of the earth are they,
Where He was once a child.
"They shall all bloom in fields of light,
Transplanted by my care,
And saints, upon their garments white,
These sacred blossoms wear."
And the mother gave, in tears and pain,
The flowers she most did love;
She knew she should find them all again
In the fields of light above.
Oh, not in cruelty, not in wrath,
The Reaper came that day;
'T was an angel visited the green earth,
And took the flowers away.
Because I could not stop for Death
She kindly stopped for me
The Carriage held but just Ourselves
And Immortality.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/8/13/957341__safe_artist-colon-mostazathy_pinkie+pie_oc_oc-colon-anon_animated_cute_diapinkes_eyes+closed_grin_heart_human_kissing_kiss+on+the+cheek_leaning.gif
i.imgur.com/JyyYbPV.jpg
Call me intrigued. I hope Bluey and Discord hang out some. They seem quite the pair.
Looking forward to more.
9163585
ᴏʀ ᴛᴇʀʀʏ ᴘʀᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴛᴛ
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/8/29/85422__safe_artist-colon-atryl_pinkie+pie_binky_bridle_crossover_death_discworld_earth+pony_gray+background_grim+reaper_pony_rearing_riding_scythe_simp.png
Death has entered the game and placed three plot devices face down on the field, what will next turn bring to the current players?
9163644
Thanks for the input. I made the changes you made plus some small re-writing on the sentence you told me that didn't make no sense. I will make sure to add any changes you found need some work
I was gonna go play video games, but I logged on and saw you wrote another chapter. Video games would have to wait.
9163275
Dream, delirium and desire, maybe?
9164090
Ja, I knew somebody will eventually get the reference of the 'D'. Nice guess by the way.
P.S: Just so you know, in the world of Equestria I think Discord would be Delirium, Luna be Dream, and Cadence Desire.
9164386
I'm an aspiring novel writer yeah although its in my native tongue. I made this stories so I could trip get help and see what helps and what not story wise. Thanks for your kind words it really means a lot. And don't worry even if slow I know this chapter with bad grammar will be dealt with and I can then continue posting better editing chapters.
And who knows? Perhaps my next step will be start selling my novel in a english version
So members of the Endless? War, Famine, and Conquest/Pestilence? The Fates/Furies/Norns? Maiden, Mother, and Crone? Some other mythological trio that didn’t immediately come to mind?
animators make brushing twilight a thing (brush your teeth)
9164104
And Rarity would be Drama (?)
9164909
Jeje good one, and its a possibility yeah
hum 3 sols now who did death want to bring back?
this is going to be fun.
Sooooo how about a Date with Blueblood and his 2 female guards? heehee HERDING!!!!!!!!!!
9165167
Jajaja, you really wish for some romance to happen, do you?
Just don't forget. There is also another mare that put her eyes on him too
9165184
My guess would be Twilight. They can be magic buddies together
9167062
But Twilight is also his cousin so…it will be kind of weird
9167097
Only legally though. But still a good point.
Please stop having two different people talking in the same paragraph. It makes it hard to tell who is speaking.
9167180
Ok, I will try to do just that, or make more clear who is the one talking
9170072
Well to be honest I was trying something new for names. The most we have get of an acronymous has being 'AJ' I wanted to give him something slightly exotic so ponies think he comes from a far away land.
As for the thing about ponies associating him with Blueblood or being alarm, that was a kind of the idea and to serve two purpose at once. Ponies might start associate Blueblood with him if they know the name or sound familiar.
And since the necklace is a enchanted artefact so powerful, try to prevent the develop of a 'second persona' since he has to wear it for two weeks. A name is a powerful thing, after all. So having that name can unconsciously help him remember 'I'm Blueblood'
Plus he was not deep undercover for long periods of time, the idea of all of this is teach him the basics for a short time while Celestia prepare, how to re-introduce him into society.
Still I can see your point, I don't think I would call him Blueberry but there was definitely more options
9169641
I didn't say I don't like the story. I just said that there is a noticeable difference in quality between two chapters, and i was careful to phrase it as such.
9171994
Not it means as the tree tribes that were divided before, unicorn, pegasus and earth ponies. They put their difference aside and then form what is now know, as Equestria
9172054
That is fair, hope you better luck finding your next story.
9173337
And that one was already edited
9173433
Well prepare to be scare beyond belief, that one that you say that needs to be edited has already being edited…twice. that is why it has the acronimus, its my way to thank my editors. And I always send my editors the version clean up from Grammarly so…yeah. I'm simple that bad, I apologies
9173722
I have eight editors…which keep confusing me, you have this much trouble so early but yeah its better this way. I will send you a message when they are edited
9174061
Discord
9173433
There are 8 of us editing this and it gets more than a little confusing because we all have different ideas on that changes and additions we feel should be made. English is the authors' second language.
I've been going over this story with a fine-toothed comb doing tons of character dialogue, sentence structure, tense, and reading ease. "Blue Sunset" was the last chapter I've worked on. It was probably updated on the site within a few hours of your comment.
>> Somehow I feel like installing Grammarly would do more editing for you than your editors
Grammarly can only do so much. I've tried it and another app called GradeProof and the best they can do is remove all the ponified text.
9173722
>> I'm terrified to know what your original drafts look like.
>> next 9 chapters have no editing whatsoever
Now you know what we have to work with. If you can't tolerate the story as it is now, give us some time, track this story and check back later. Since I've started helping out I've learned it takes me about ten days to polish up a chapter.
>> I just can't. It physically hurts.
I felt the same way, which is why I volunteered to help edit.
9175857
Yeah that is a good option. But in the bright side, things are going to slow down in new chapters so that would give time to clean older chapters
9175857
I would offer to help out, since I enjoy the editing process, but you already have eight editors, and I'd only add my own suggestions and opinions. (Plus I have other stories I edit for and while they don't update often, I don't want work to pile up too much.)