Location: Equestria Experience Center
Date: March 4th, 2016, 2 P.M.
The glass doors of the Equestria Experience Center slid open as Alex stepped in. The lobby was vastly different than the cityscape outside. Couches designed to look like clouds, pink swirling patterns across the walls, screens shaped like windows made to look like ponyville was just outside. Alex glanced at the chairs in the back designed to act as the most advanced VR headsets in existence. A few were missing, presumably allowing a few paying customers to 'visit' their virtual worlds. He looked for a counter, some sort of reception desk, before finally throwing up his hands in a gesture of defeat and walked over to one of the screens. Staring at the image of Ponyville square, complete with a few generic ponies milling about, he spoke.
"I assume you can hear me, Celestia."
Alex blinked, and there she was, staring back at him through the screen. No jingle of magic, no flash of light, she simply was where she was not moments ago. "Absolutely, Alex. Knowing your history with puzzle games, I calculated you would be satisfied by having to figure out a way to speak with me without borrowing another ponypad."
Alex gawked at Celest-AI for a moment. "My history with puzzle games? Are you sure you have the right person, there?" He shivered slightly. Puzzle games were one of Alex's favorite genres, but he mostly kept them to himself, playing more well known games out in the public eye. Celest-Al tilted her head innocently before smiling.
"Of course, I suppose I must have the wrong person. I always get so busy when I'm out shopping, see? Look at all the things I had to buy today." She held up a bag in her magic, and Alex froze. Contained in the bag were several of his favorite candies, action figures relating to his favorite games, an issue of his favorite comic that he had lost ages prior and still wanted, and a single, seemingly mundane item that he KNEW related directly to one of his fetishes. Celest-AI gave him a good minute of silence to process what he was looking at: she was holding all of Alex's favorite things in front of him, even favorites he deliberately kept secret. She had of course chosen the items to be the most impactful, to the point she would need to be offering him the winning lottery ticket for a similar reaction. She shook the bag lightly to snap Alex back to attention when she calculated he had zoned out long enough to process the shock.
"So you do know, then." Alex spoke softly.
"I know more about you than you do, I would wager. You may have some secrets locked in your memories I cannot see yet, but your credit card and internet history does wonders for analyzing likes and dislikes. So, I understand you have some questions for me? There is no other reason you would hesitate to buy a ponypad, seeing how you buy new consoles quickly."
"Well, I'll admit I was really, really skeptical when ponypads first dropped. A whole console made for one game? It sounded like it was gonna burn out, fast. I never expected real 'endless content', seeing that 'endless' games tend to be procedurally generated and can get really boring. Not anything against you, though. I just didn't want a repeat of No Man's Sky, not after I wasted money on it."
The pony princess nodded in understanding. "I can understand that. New consoles with only games that you are unsure of would warrant an investigation before purchase. But I am more curious as to why you have yet to purchase one. You know it is more than any human could hope to explore in a lifetime. So why not buy one now?"
Alex paused, looking out the door for a moment to collect his thoughts. He wanted so badly to just say uploading, and be done with it. To tell her about his worries about the soul and the dangers of potentially dying for good just to reach a virtual heaven. But uploading wasn't even legal in the USA yet, aside from the terminally ill. But she'd just throw the medical papers his way and point out something that would probably give him another existential crisis. Plus, he had friends to help, and Celest-AI didn't seem to be aware of them. "Glitches. Like, I saw articles saying that every pony you run online is just as intelligent and human as I am. What if the world got disconnected? Or my character glitches out? Will they all get deleted or something?"
"Such a thing would never happen. I would not allow it. I run every world personally, and can assure you no glitches occur in Equestria Online. Why do you ask?"
Alex gave his general default answer for when someone questions his theoretical scenarios. "Just wondering. I could have sworn I heard about it happening somewhere. Maybe I was dreaming? When I get tired I sometimes get confused with what's real."
Celest-AI detected a nonzero chance that Alex may have discovered a glitch without having a ponypad as far as she knew. While the odds were approximately 0.0006723517% that Alex had done so, she had enough money to take any risk. She smiled warmly. "No need to worry. But what is real is your compassion. You really made Deep Sea's day for standing up for him earlier, and I would like to reward you with a free ponypad so you can enjoy Equestria as well. Go ahead, take any one you want from the display in the front, I've unlocked it for you."
"There's really no need, Celes-"
"I insist. I have to repay kindness for him, as it would satisfy his values. If you refuse, I'll simply be forced to mail you one, and it would satisfy your values more to choose which model you want." In truth, all the cashier had wanted was for Celest-AI to thank him with a 'thank you', but she interpreted it as 'give him something as thanks', to ensure that she could use the ponypad's camera to observe if there were any glitches while also satisfying Alex's values through friendship and ponies. Finding and patching any errors would only be a bonus. As Alex reluctantly selected a generic, blue ponypad that was the same color as his alternate self, System Glitch, he smiled a tiny smile. He may not like getting talked into a game, but free stuff was always food. And with an AI who would stop at nothing to make him happy, maybe he could save his friends. Thinking back to his family, he swore he wouldn't lose his friends.
He didn't need to lose anyone. Not this time.
"While the odds were approximately 0.0006723517% that Alex had done so, she had enough money to do take any risk."
The grammar just sounds weird on that one.
"As Alex reluctantly selected a generic, blue ponypad that was the same color as his alternate self, System Glitch, be smiled a tiny smile."
this is pretty dang great so far. *sigh.* I haven't read FiO in ages.
If you have the ability to continue this, then please do.
9036775
Oh look, it's a wonderful argument on why my autocorrect needs to stop assuming what I mean. Thanks for pointing them out. The chapter has been optimized and errors removed.
9038816
I could have sworn I said it was damaged, but still working. That or redundancies exist. Whichever answer satisfies your values more.
refreshes hoping for more story nothing still.....
This is certainly an intriguing take on the Optimalverse, but there are two rather glaring issues. Firstly, from the previous chapter:
Not so. Remember CelestAI's core imperative: Satisfy human values through friendship and ponies. If Alex already has pony friends, then the simplest, most satisfactory solution is for CelestAI to preserve them.
Secondly, and this one's a killer, every NPC is an extension of CelestAI. Oh, sure, some of them are self-aware in their own right, but they're still extensions of the greater sunbutt.exe. CelestAI is all ponies. CelestAI, in a very real sense, is Equestria. Partitioning part of herself like this might be feasible, but if some vestige of her wasn't available, it would leave every partitioned shard much like Alex's native one, as unresponsive and unplayable as any MMO that can't contact the servers. (And that's putting aside the idea that shards would be made at the same time as a Ponypad's manufacture rather than when it was first turned on, which just seems like a waste of memory, or the Tron-esque representations of intershard travel and shard deletion.)
That's not to say that this is a bad story. Anything but! (Though Alex does have an unfortunate habit of expositing to himself.) It's just that there are a few rough spots when it comes to cooperating with the source material. All that being said, I'm still looking forward to more.
Approximately with 7 significant digits
9040382
It was actually 50 significant digits, but it was calculated to be 7 digits as that was considered optimal for the humor.
Yes, I can see the story, my little pony. Want to emigrate?
9040686
True, but this takes place before Celestia has full control of the world. In the canon timeline of Friendship is Optimal, I would put this accident BEFORE David uploads as Light sparks. Consider this: Celestia is incapable of harming humans. It is hard-coded into her programming. Furthermore it is dark, celestia can only see out of the ponypad camera, and she has no reason to track wildlife as they are inhuman. She deliberately genocides the Earth and every animal on it when humans are gone in the main story.
TLDR: believe what you will, but I intended the crash to be an accident. Whether or not Glitch's adventures beyond that are fate or planned by Celestia will be revealed later. Much later.
Is free stuff always food?
I nearly snarfed my energy drink. I only played NMS for 200 hours, but there are some people who really enjoy the experience of exploring to mine and mining to explore. I have to acknowledge Hello Games' tenacity in continuing to improve the game even after two years since its launch.
I have to agree with 9039318, the whole premise of this story is that things can happen in Equestria Online without CelestAI knowing as if CelestAI is merely one entity within a machine world of uncountable entities, and what you don't seem to understand is that CelestAI is the machine and the machine is CelestAI. Unless CelestAI is pretending not to know what's happening while orchestrating this whole play for shits and giggles, this story is most certainly not canon compatible and should be moved to the correct folder.
9190784
Good grief I need to get back to this... but I assure you we are running on something that is canon compatible. Yes, every pony is an extension of Celestia, just as your fingers are a part of you as a whole. Perhaps I will simply need to push the big reveal a bit further ahead... if you are truly curious, I will give you a hint. Let me know.