16
Earth
San Francisco, California
X-Con Security Consultants Headquarters
11:05 a.m.
“All right, all right, all right! You guys have no idea the kind of stuff Scotty’s been into these past few years! I know, I know that he told me never to tell anyone, but we’re like family, we’re like familia, you know? You guys can keep a secret, right?”
Luis dropped his plastic bag full of pastries on his desk, turning to his two friends and fellow colleagues. Both Dave and Kurt nodded in understanding, turning to one another after setting their Starbucks coffee down on their respective desks.
Dave smiled. “Oh, yeah,” he said, zipping an invisible line over his mouth. “My lips are sealed, man. This is for Scott.”
Kurt nodded, his Russian accent heavy when he said, “They will have to kill me to get the information out.”
Luis slapped his hands together, licking his lips in preparation.
“All right, so it went down like this…”
Dave and Kurt took their seats, sitting patiently in silence as Luis began his long… long story.
He tried to make it fast, his hands moving as fast as his lips. “After I got the word out there that Scotty was looking for some badass contacts in the more-than-normal world, the Avengers of all people came to pick him up for some secret mission!”
“The Avengers?” Dave asked, mouth falling agape.
“What kind of ‘secret mission’?” Kurt asked, leaning forward on his desk, sipping his coffee.
Luis’ smile only continued to grow. They had no idea what was coming. That was always the best part about telling everyone his stories. “Scotty told me that it was for creating a portal to another world!” he exclaimed. Their expressions said it all: confused as all hell. It didn’t get any better. “He was all like, ‘Daaaamn, Luis, if you’ve seen the kinda crazy alien shit I’ve seen, you don’t even wanna know what happens next!’”
“So, what happens next?” Kurt said.
“So, Scotty and Hank Pym, the same genius billionaire we stole the Ant-Man suit from all those years ago, worked together to create this alien portal, right? And the next thing you know, talking alien ponies are coming out of it and meeting with the Avengers!”
“Talking alien ponies?” Dave exclaimed, almost choking on his coffee. “Like the same kind that got caught up with that attack in Washington two years ago?”
“Yeah, the same ones!” Luis said, flicking his finger out to emphasize that point. “Scotty wasn’t there to meet them when they came out of the portal, but he told me that Hank Pym told him, ‘Yo, Scott, you can’t be tellin’ no one about these ponies, man! Especially what we did to bring them to Earth, the fuzz would be riding straight up our asses, you feel me?’”
Luis felt a bead a sweat roll down his head. Dave’s mouth wouldn’t close and Kurt just looked just as confused as ever before. “Then Scotty was all like, ‘You got my word, man! Ain’t no way in hell am I tellin’ anyone how we built that portal!’ Then the next thing you know, the Avengers are comin’ to Scott again for his help! Not to build a portal to pony land, but to help fight the rest of the Avengers!”
“Ah,” Kurt said, nodding. “Incident in Germany. Heard all about it in news.”
“You didn’t hear this,” Luis said, grinning madly Kurt’s way. He shook his head, his smile twitching. “Scotty even fought some of the ponies.”
“You shittin’ me?!” Dave shouted, almost falling out of his chair. “That’s like… against the law to fight ambassadors, right?”
“I know, right?” Luis said, still grinning from ear to ear. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little, saying, “But Scotty told me everything that went down, you know? He told me how he straight up turned giant and threw those ponies and Avengers around like they weighed nothing!”
“Back home, we put horses down who get hurt. Much less painful that way.”
Luis’ smile fell for a short moment, his eyes turning to Kurt. Dave spun around in his chair, furrowing his brow and turning his disgruntled frown towards their Russian friend. Kurt slowly sipped his coffee. “I’m… pretty sure that’s how it works everywhere, Kurt, not just in Russia,” Dave said.
Kurt shrugged and looked out the window, bringing his coffee to his lips. “Not the way we do it.”
Luis shook his head. “Anyway, after the fight, Scotty was lying there in pain all like, ‘Damn, those colorful, magical ponies kicked my ass!’ Then he was sent to the Raft with the Avengers and ponies he fought with, ya know? Straight up prison life again! Only this time, it was out in the sea, so there was no way any of us could have gotten him out!”
Luis bit his lower lip, already knowing what their expressions would be.
“Then, wouldn’t ya know, Captain America was the one who busted him out!” he yelled, glad to see he was right. Dave’s mouth fell and so did Kurt’s, neither breathing. “After Scotty made it back to the States, he came up to me and was all like, ‘Luis, man, I trust you more than I trust myself, so I need you to put in a good word for me if they try to put me away, ya know?’ And I was all like, ‘I got you, Scotty! You’re closer to me than my cousin Ignacio, who by the way was taking me bar hopping for my birthday earlier that day, where we saw all these very lovely chicas with these fine ass—”
“That’s… completely unrelated, but all right!” Dave interrupted, still smiling and prompting Luis to continue.
“I’m sorry, I get off track pretty fast,” Luis apologized, hands held outwards. “Anyway, where was I…? Oh, yeah, Scotty just called me earlier this morning so he could—!”
The door to their business opened, and lo and behold, Scott Lang entered with Hank Pym and Hope van Dyne trailing right behind him. Neither of the latter seemed eager for a conversation, as they turned their eyes immediately away from Dave, Kurt, and Luis. Scott, on the other hand, looked about, smiling wide when he saw them. “Knock, knock!”
“Scotty!” Luis exclaimed, his arms held out wide.
“How’s it goin’, Luis?” Scott said, meeting Luis’ hug with one of his own. He patted his back, turning his gaze over to the rest of his gang. “Dave, Kurt!”
“Scott!” Dave said after drinking shortly from his coffee, standing up and rushing over to give Scott a hug. He gave a strong one, another one to Kurt, backing off and staring at the three’s matching uniforms.
Pursing his lips at that, Scott slowly nodded. “So…” he began, meeting Luis’ gaze. “X-Con, huh?”
“It’s the perfect way to get back in the world,” Luis said. His smile was so contagious that Hope and Hank wanted to throw up. “Who wouldn’t want to hire a bunch of ex-convicts as security consultants?”
“Yeah,” Hope muttered, rolling her eyes. “Who wouldn’t?”
Ignoring—or just not hearing—Hope’s comment, Luis turned his attention over to the oldest guy in the room, as well as the smartest and richest. That's usually how Luis saw him. Luis held out his hand to him, grinning wide as he said, “How have you been, Mr. Pym?”
Hank Pym mumbled something under his breath, continuously shaking his head alongside scratching his goatee. “Not good,” he muttered, moving right past Luis’ hand without even looking at him. “Not good at all. If you all want to help, then take a seat.”
Almost immediately, Luis and his colleagues rushed over to their respective desks. Scott, in turn, just stared at what they called “his desk”. It looked as if they had found it in the dumpster. Frowning at that, Scott didn’t pay too much attention to what followed. Luis ran around his desk, almost spilled his coffee in the meantime, and settled himself in his chair.
Luis smiled up at Pym, gesturing the man and his daughter to the two chairs resting in front of him. “So, what’s this about? Scotty was pretty quick on the phone.”
“Something just came up,” Scott said, turning away from his desk. “Something big.”
“How big?” Dave asked.
“Too big,” Hank said, rubbing his snow-white goatee. The frustration in his features were clearly evident, added to the aged intensity growing in his brow and wrinkles. Pulling off his glasses, Hank rubbed his eyes and groaned, “Not only are goddamn aliens invading the planet, but we got our own problems to deal with! Starting with this fading, ‘ghost-like’ character.”
“Yeah, and then there’s that alien world above our own,” Hope said, crossing her arms.
“That’s beyond us,” Hank grumbled, placing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose and resting his hands in his lap. “We can’t worry about that now.”
“What about the invasion?” Scott asked. He stepped forward, causing Hope and Hank to spin back towards him in their seats. “Shouldn’t we call the Avengers? San Francisco could be in danger! I-I mean, I got contacts—!”
“They’ll deal with it,” Hank said, holding his hand out to Scott to stop his rambling. He waved that hand, grumbling as he faced forward, “Knowing Stark, he’s probably on the case right now. But as for us… and you three…”
Hank practically froze, his throat becoming very warm and very slippery, like the words found trouble trying to escape his person. He didn’t want to say it, but with what was at stake, with his daughter constantly shifting her worry-filled gaze his way, he knew he had no choice. They had no choice at the moment.
He couldn’t believe he was saying it.
“We need your help.”
And almost instantly, that child-like wonder and smile appeared on Luis’ face once again. “Oh, wow, that’s awesome, Mr. Pym! That’s so cool that you need our help, considering we were the ones who broke into your lab all those years ago and you never wanted to hear from us again. You remember that? No? All right, so it went down like this…”
Hank sighed as Luis continued to ramble on, his eyes elsewhere. “God help us all.”
So duh, had to skip this chapter. Gonna savor that movie when I DO watch it.
In the meantime, let me advertise that the official Bluray for Infinity War comes this July 31! But I'm gonna wait for the 4K Bluray. I'm hoping it'd look cool.
I haven't seen the film yet...
Never change, Luiz.
That was fast. Figured it would be a couple of days after you saw the movie before we got this chapter. Thanks for proving me wrong.
After the rather traumatic event of the last chapter, this was a welcoming, lighthearted reprieve.
I hope Luis, Dave and Kurt get to meet the ponies at some point. That would be an entertaining interaction.
Sorry, had to skip. Bloody late UK release date...
I hope Luis meets Grubber!
Luis never gets old!
Wow...the title says it all! Nice way of doing it! Cant wait to see whats next!
Luis’ recaps are always a highlight. Once you hear those background drums, you know what’s coming next is gonna be good.
Will you be detailing the events of Ant-man and the Wasp along with the main story?
Now we need Grubber to recap everything that happened in Equestria since last time. Then he meets Luis, and the universe explodes.
The recap gives a nice breather after all the intense moments from the last few chapters. Luis as always is hilarious.
But with the mission Antman and friends are about to undertake I wonder if they will not be as involved in the story, at least for now, like how Antman wasn't in the Infinity war's story.
He was like, crazy stupid fine...
Grubber's next to recap everything.
Boy I hope Grubber doesn't learn Luis' way of talking especially his swearing.
9039222 I thought the Blu-ray came out August 14?
9039241 This chapter doesn't really spoil much.
9039354 I'll see if I could squeeze them in somewhere.
9039399 Maybe.
9039558 Thanks!
9039622 They're always my favorite parts of the Ant-Man films.
9039670 Not really. This will be the only Ant-Man chapter in Part I.
9039761 Who will kill the universe first? Thanos with all six Infinity Stones, or two morons who share the same voice?
9041030 This will be the only Ant-Man centered chapter in Part I. We'll get more into him in Part II.
9041102 He's too lazy to recap everything. He probably can't remember half of what happened prior.
9041276
I think that’s 4K Bluray, if not then our release is way early. I dunno, I’m seeing some Infinity War CDs that look 1080p already here in my country.
9041276
So no Ghost?
Will we still have Red Skull?
Kevin Feige just confirmed that animals were affected by the snap as well. This does not smell good for the animals of Equestria either, especially Angel, Tank, and the other pets.
9041753 Eh, they could take Angel.
9039761
That's a meeting I'd pay to see.
This was a pretty epic chapter for me to read.
9042113
Yeah, hakai that long-eared hellspawned son of a bitch! And make sure it's for Canada!!
9041753
And Opal and Owlie-Boy.
9042113
I would hate to see each of the Mane 6's families (e.g. CMC, Big Mac and Granny Smith, some of the Pie family, Shiny-Bro (Twily Sparkleoo's bro) get disintegrated.
9042113
And nothing of value would be lost. Jk Jk
9042113
Warning! If you wish to see it, do so at your own risk! MLP EG Rollercoaster of Friendship is out and despite the name, it's a part and parceling, reeks in, jeering in, seemingly, *gulp and clears throat* homosexuality and LGBT.
Ok nice to see there weren’t many spoilers here. Nice to see Antman and the team together again.
Okay, now that I've seen Ant-Man and the Wasp, I can read it.
Luis' parts in these movies always get the biggest laughs outta me. Just a shame Michael Pena's character in the MLP Movie didn't have good writing.
9085360 Gurbber probably got like... one chuckle out of me. It's a shame they didn't give Michael Pena some better writing.
Que the zoom, music, and the flashbacks! But male sure to have the characters talking like he does for maximum hilarity!
Well after such a brutal chapter earlier, a nice bit of comic relief is in order. In a way it's a subtle way of allowing the readers to catch up onto a few events that occurred during the 'last' story. Hope everyone is up to speed by then.
Others with Luis be like
Nice to have a breather after how serious things got last chapter. You can always count on Luis for some comedy.