Arranged Disaster
A friend and I were kicking this idea around earlier in the week, and it seemed too good to let slip by.
"More tea, Rarity?"
"Why, yes! Thank you Pinkie Pie." Rarity smiled as the pink mare tipped the kettle and filled her cup nearly to the rim with Jasmine tea. Rarity lifted with cup with a small tug of her magic and held it to her lips, sipping at it.
"Growin' things like corn 'n broccoli ain't too big a deal but that ain't my specialty." Applejack explained with a look behind her to her vast orchard of apple trees. "The Apple family grows the best apples in Equestria, corn needs to be bought from the Corn family."
"What about a small, self-sustaining garden of corn? It'd be much cheaper for your family." Twilight pointed out.
"And we wouldn't have to spend five bits on a couple of ears of corn..." Rainbow Dash snorted by Twilight's side, staring down at the deliciously yellow treat in front of her, looking like she was contemplating not eating it.
"Hey, everypony's gotta stay in business somehow. 'sides, Fluttershy, don't you get a discount on corn?" Applejack looked to the winged mare by her side, and Fluttershy smiled sheepishly.
"Well, um, no." She rubbed a hoof against her neck. "I mean, yes! But only on old corn, or corn they normally can't sell. The animals don't mind it, and it's cheaper."
The day was gorgeous. Celestia's sun hung high in the air, not a cloud in the sky to block it. It was so wonderfully blue, and the grass and the trees seemed so much brighter too. A gentle breeze and the shade of the big tree they laid in kept them nice and cool. The red and white checkered blanket, the basket full of treats, the kettles and bottles of drinks... it was the absolute perfect day for a picnic. Rarity had brought tea, water, juice, and soda, Applejack had brought dozens of her finest crop, Twilight had prepared several salads, Fluttershy had brought birds to sing in the tree nearby, Pinkie had brought plenty of cookies and cakes, while Dash zipped to the sky every now and then to knock out an errant cloud or kick up a stronger breeze.
Fluttershy munched on some potato salad, sipped at a cup of fruit punch, and smiled at a joke Dash had told, but paused and cocked her ear. There was a clamor coming from the town. "Huh?" She glanced down the hill towards Ponyville.
"What foal's screamin' his head off on a day like this?" Applejack stood up in annoyance and squinted to while looking out for the trouble-maker. Dash took to the air as the rest of the mares rose to their hooves and cautiously looked around for any sign of danger.
"..." Dash flew a little further out, then came back wearing a flat look. "It's Spike."
"Spike?" Twilight repeated.
"What's wrong with Spike?" Rarity asked with a worried frown, and the two unicorns started trotting towards the town.
"Dunno." Dash floated overhead, eyes firmly on the purple speck as it came closer and closer. "He's waving his claws around like an idiot and keeps shouting."
"C'mon girls!" Pinkie called, hopping past Twilight and Rarity. "Let's go see what the problem is!" Exchanging a few glances, the remaining mares followed their friends until they could all clearly see Spike running towards them.
Twilight couldn't help but grimace at the thought of whatever could be freaking Spike out, since he was typically so laid back. The closer they got, the faster she ran, until she was well ahead of her companions. She could hear him shouting now, loud and clear, and the rest of the girls put in good effort to catch up with her as she ran ahead.
"Spike!" Twilight shouted, coming to a skidding halt as Spike slowed down, stopping in front of her. He promptly bent over to grab his knees as he panted. "Spike, what's the matter?" Twilight demanded, more out of worry than anything else.
"L-" Spike gasped, and the rest of the mares arrived to watch him as he took in several deep gulps of air and stood up straight. "L-letter!" He held out his right hand. "Letter from Canterlot!" Fluttershy caught him right as he fell backwards, and lifted him onto her back to rest. Twilight, however, was focused on the letter he was clutching.
"It's not from Celestia?" She asked. She checked the seal: not Celestia's hoofprint. The seal was a unicorn's horn with a banner wrapped around it. She didn't recognize it at first, Rarity, however...
"It's from the Canterlot Society of Nobles' Affairs." She sounded surprised. Twilight stared at the seal for a very long time, wondering what they could possibly want from her.
Spike finally caught his breath and unrolled the scroll. He calmed himself down and cleared his throat, and meekly looked up to Twilight before reading.
"From the Director of Nobles' Affairs and the Desk of the Blueblood Legacy-"
"Blueblood!?" Rarity repeated with a sudden twitch in her eye, a flashback of that disastrous evening running through her mind.
"Well the Bluebloods are actually a pretty big family." Twilight mentioned, sincerely hoping it wasn't from the colt Rarity was remembering. "Anyways, keep reading Spike."
Spike nodded, and turned his head back to the scroll. "Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle-"
"What!? I'm calling horse apples on that!" Dash butted in, nearly knocking Spike over as she violated his personal space to read the letter herself. "Princess Twilight Sparkle? Since when were you a princess, princess?" Dash accused, raising an eyebrow at the lavender unicorn.
"Dash, be careful." Fluttershy whispered, turned her head to check on Spike.
"I'm not a princess." Twilight frowned. "Wait, maybe they have the wrong pony? I know I'm not..."
"It has the right address." Spike waved the letter.
"Twilight. Your brother married into royalty." Applejack pointed out. Twilight's eyes widened, and she glanced to Applejack. "Yeah, Princess Cadence. Ain't she royalty?"
"Oh my, she's right." Rarity nodded. "She's Princess Celestia's niece. That would make you a princess, Twilight. Not by old pony tale standards but still."
"That's ridiculous..." Twilight could see their point, but it was still uncomfortable.
"Shouldn't you be living in a castle then?" Dash asked, hovering over to Twilight. "A big castle with a bunch of servants and like, Olympic-sized pools?"
"No!" Twilight answered, but Dash didn't look like she was paying attention.
"And a ton of armed guards standing around, who'd throw themselves in front of you in an instant!"
"Ooh!" Pinkie Pie hopped up and down nearby. "And, like, a hundred chefs baking super-delicious cakes and cookies with water-fountains that spray punch and icing in every hallway and court jesters doing flips and telling funny jokes and-"
"And think of all the suitors you'd get! Handsome princes from across the land coming to court the new, young princess!" Rarity was grinning, enjoying the embarrassment on Twilight's face.
"Court... Twilight?" Spike glanced to Twilight, then grimaced. "Ugh..."
"Hey!" Twilight interrupted all of them and groaned. "Look, so I am a princess but I don't need a castle, I don't need jester or chefs or swimming pools or armed guards, and I definitely don't want suitors! Spike, keep reading." She ordered, massaging the bridge of her snout with her hoof.
Spike rolled his eyes and held up the letter again. "From the Director of Nobles' Affairs and the Desk of the Blueblood Legacy, Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, you are hereby scheduled to arrive at Canterlot at ten AM tomorrow morning to begin wedding preparations. Unless you have ponies to fill the jobs, dress-makers, chefs, and brides' maids will be provided for you."
"This sounds awfully familiar." Applejack pointed out.
"Yes but wedding preparations for who? And why would I need dress-makers, chefs, and brides' maids?" Twilight took the letter and scanned it herself. Spike hadn't left any details out...
"Oh!" Spike sat up straight, and held up another letter. Twilight stared pointedly at him and dropped the first letter. "Err, yeah, sorry, I guess I should've started with this one."
"Awfully awfully familiar." Applejack grumbled.
"Quiet Applejack. Go ahead Spike." Rarity nodded.
Spike unrolled the letter, and nervously began to chew his lower lip. He closed it suddenly, a nervous smile on his face. "So how about this weather? You did a great job with the clouds Rainbow-"
"READ IT!" Dash shouted, making Spike squeak and unroll the letter suddenly.
"F-From the D-Desk of the Blu-Blueblood Legacy." he gulped loudly, and glanced between the girls as they all leaned in closer and stared him down, "an-and the Office of Nobles' Affairs, you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, are to be married-"
"What?" Twilight and Rarity both gasped.
"-to Prince Blueblood-"
"WHAT!?" All six of the mares roared at once.
"- on March 14th, as arranged by your parents, Night Light and Twilight Twinkle, and Prince Blueblood's parents, Duke and Duchess Blueblood."
"Married?" Twilight whimpered, her rear legs giving out and her rear thumping onto the grass as her mind temporarily ground to a halt in shock.
"To Blueblood!?" Rarity's voice was high and tight as she all but squeaked his name.
"Night Light and Twilight Twinkle?" Pinkie Pie wondered out loud.
"Hold up!" Dash shouted, grabbing everyponies’ attention. "What does it mean that your parents and his parents arranged your marriage? They can't set you up like that!"
Twilight was quiet for a few seconds, then rose back to a standing position and spoke with some effort through a very tense jaw. "Yes. They can." She growled, and lifted Spike off of Fluttershy's back and set him on her own.
"I-I'm not in trouble, am I?" Spike nervously twisted the letter in his hands, but Twilight shook her head.
"They can? Why would they?" Fluttershy asked, dismayed by the news.
"I don't know." Twilight's voice was steely, and her gaze was threatening when she focused on Rainbow Dash. The pegasus flinched as Twilight spoke, "Dash. Be a pal and fly ahead to Ponyville and rent us a carriage under my name." She levitated a bag of bits up to Dash and tied it around her leg, and the rainbow-maned mare gulped, saluted, and flew down.
Twilight started walking towards Ponyville, then paused. "Girls." Twilight turned suddenly to face the other four mares. "I know it's a lot to ask, but will you please accompany me to Canterlot?"
"Uh, yeah, I dun' mind, Twi, but what're ya planning?" Applejack sweated a bit as she followed Twilight down to Ponyville. She'd seen Twilight angry before, but never this furious. She imagined a boiling pot with the lid just barely keeping it contained as she watched Twilight's stony expression.
"We don't even have to be there until tomorrow morning." Pinkie wasn't hopping as she normally did. Rather, it was a slow trot that saw her catching up with Twilight and walking by her side.
"I intend to arrive a little early." Twilight said, her voice a little too calm. "And speak with my parents on this matter." Oh, there was the barely contained rage.
Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy shared a brief look between each other, then nodded. "We're with you Twilight." Fluttershy caught up with the march to Ponyville.
"We will rectify this mistake, I can assure you of that. There is probably a reasonable explanation that can be corrected." Rarity nodded.
Twilight hardly looked reassured.
----------
An hour and a half later, Twilight and her friends were leaving the Canterlot docking station. The entire ride over had been a tense, silent stare-down between Twilight and the seat opposite of her. She was definitely busy with her own thoughts, and none of the other mares wanted to break her out her trance.
Out of the carriage though, Canterlot was a noisy, busy place. Only Twilight and Rarity had spent much time here, the rest only attending on a few visits to the castle or to star in a play. Canterlot was spires and towers, gorgeous architecture perfected by unicorns centuries ago displaying many bright, dazzling colors, and most of these were shops.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash's heads couldn't stop swiveling around to take in their surroundings while dodging the unicorns that filled the streets. Many of them rich and posh, though several pegasi and earth ponies could be seen mingling with the crowds.
"... Huh." Dash flew past from the girls suddenly. Applejack kept an eye on her as the pegasus looked at a big notice board in the middle of an intersection. She flew above the crowd formed around it, reading and talking among themselves curiously, and returned with a blank look.
"Somethin' funny over there?" Applejack spoke up, getting Twilight to turn her head and look at Dash.
"Uh, well, kinda funny. Just weird funny though!" Dash chuckled nervously. Curious, Rarity lead them towards the board. They couldn't see it past the crowd.
"What does it say?" Rarity called up to Dash.
"Uh, well..." Dash rubbed the back of her neck, and Fluttershy flew up next to her to stare.
"Oh... My..." Fluttershy lowered back down to meet the expectant stares of her friends. "Well, um..."
"Ugh, hold on." Spike slid off Twilight's back and started for the crowd. "Excuse me! Coming through! Princess Celestia's student is coming through! Stand back!" Spike announced loudly, making the crowd quiet down, stare, look to Twilight, then slowly back away.
'March 14th, 12:00 PM, join the Bluebloods in celebrating the marriage of their son, Prince Blueblood, to the prodigy of Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle! Seating will begin early, and late-comers will be turned away unless invited. Join us on this happy day to see this union of two of our most royal families!' Beneath the words was a picture of a purple unicorn and a white unicorn standing before an altar, their hooves crossing each others.
"Oh." Rarity stared, stunned. "They're quite boastful, aren't they Twilight?" She was met with silence. She turned her head. "Twilight?" She spotted the purple unicorn racing away, towards the homes. "Oh my. Girls!" Rarity started sprinting after her, the rest just behind her.
----------
The announcements were everywhere. The same pictures and invitation was on every notice board from the docking district to the living quarters, banners hung on the sides of buildings with the picture of the two unicorns blown up, with Twilight's and Blueblood's name underneath. Booths were selling merchandise, purple and white ribbons, cake decorations of Twilight and Blueblood together, posters matching the banner pictures, buttons and saddlebags with their cutie marks intertwining, balloons, streamers, specialized frosting...
Pinkie, at least, was having a field day.
"Pinkie, take that trash off!" Dash ordered as they walked past the many smaller homes in the living quarters, heading for a gated community in the distance.
"It's not trash!" Pinkie was bouncing, her tail tied up with balloons, a bow around her neck, her new saddlebag adorned with buttons and filled with frosting dispensers and rolls of streamers. "I'm commemorating Twilight's big day!"
"Pinkie, they're not gettin' married." Applejack reminded her dryly, watching Twilight power ahead. Ponies on the street seemed to recognize the supposed bride-to-be and were calling out congratulations, and were quieted down with a low snarl.
"Doesn't mean we can't celebrate their not-marriage!" Pinkie skipped along, unheeded by the weight of her haul.
"I'm pretty sure that's disrespectful." The farm mare pointed out, but Pinkie ignored her to hum 'Here Comes the Bride' in reverse.
Twilight opened the gate and went through with her friends trailing at a cautious distance, heading straight for a house at the far end of the street. They happened to notice it was the biggest house on the block, at least two stories tall with a single tower, and the nicest yard. There were gardeners tending to the hedges and flowers, and some looked up as they saw Twilight to greet her, only to duck and busy themselves in their work when she glared straight through them.
Twilight twisted the handle to the door, but it clicked. "Oh, since when did we start locking the door!?" Twilight grunted, and Spike tapped his chin.
"We forgot the house key at home." He shrugged.
"Maybe under the mat?" Fluttershy spoke up, glancing to the 'welcome home' mat. All of them winced as they heard a crack of wood, and looked up to see Twilight tossing the entire door handle and the lock it came with into the yard, the glow from her horn already fading as she snorted. "That works too..."
The door swung open, and the seven entered. Before they could take the time to look around Twilight's old home, voices sprung up from the room just past the entrance. "- believe you'd be so foalish! How could you not even tell your own son!?"
"W-well I'd just-" the male voice stammered for a bit, "- I didn't want him to worry-"
"Worry!?" The next male voice couldn't belong to any pony other than Shining Armor, captain of Canterlot's Royal Guard. "You thought I'd be more worried than when my guards walked up congratulating me on Twilight's wedding that I didn't know about!? You thought I'd be more worried than when I stepped out into town and saw banners, posters, signs everywhere talking about the wedding!? I find out just this morning this is all happening and you didn't want to worry me!?"
"Armor." Cadence's voice sprang up. It was deathly cool, and a little too careful. "You're angry-"
"Angry? I'm FURIOUS!"
"Sweetie, calm down for just one second." The six mares and one dragon poked their heads into the main foyer to see Twilight's mother, Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor standing around her father. Night Light was shuffling nervously and shaking as he met his son's enraged stare. Princess Cadence flipped her mane back behind her head and continued. "Armor and I are just a little bit surprised, father," her voice dipped in venom, "that our little sister is getting married and nopony thought to tell us."
"It was kind of sudden..." Night Light mumbled.
"Horse Apples!" Twilight Twinkle stomped her hoof. Twilight and Shining Armor both gasped at the exclamation and Night Light withered under his wife's stare. "You had three days to tell them and spent all of them moping around your study! It's bad enough that you married out Twilight but you thought you could keep it a secret!? I just hope you at least explained yourself to Twilight!"
Night Light's eyes widened and Twilight Twinkle's nostrils flared. "W-well, about that..."
"He didn't." Twilight Sparkle's calm, collected voice drifted across the foyer. The four heads inside whipped around to see the youngest of the family walking towards them. Spike was glaring daggers at Night Light, while her friends followed behind her with worried expressions. "The Bluebloods did." Twilight held up both of the letters she'd gotten.
"Twily..." Shining Armor's voice died as he scanned the letters, and every head calmly turned to face Night Light. Ten glares bore down on him, and he whimpered.
"Twilight." Her mother called, approaching to stiffly nuzzle her neck. "It's good to see you. Are you telling me that you were told just today as well?" The gentleness in her voice was forced so much that they could see her jaw flexing violently with each word.
"Yes mom." Twilight answered. Both Twilights turned their stares onto Night Light.
"You... You didn't TELL HER!?" Shining Armor shouted, stopping when his wife's wing went up to block him from getting closer to Night Light. "You're marrying her off and she didn't know!? You know, when I told everypony you were bumbling but kind-hearted I never thought it would turn into outright neglect!"
"I wasn't neglecting her!" Night Light shot up suddenly, squeaking when his wife let a low rumble out of her throat. "I just didn't know how to tell her!"
"Well this was a damn good way to find out!" Dash interrupted suddenly, taking one of the letters out of the air and throwing it at Night Light. "You had three days to send her a letter saying-... saying-!"
"'Oh hey Twilight, I'm marrying you to a git!'" Shining Armor finished.
"Yeah!" Dash bobbed her head.
"Now young lady! I certainly didn't mean to do it!" Night Light started, then withered again as his wife cleared her throat.
"Oh, that's right, that means he hasn't told you how he got us into this mess. Go on dear, tell your loving, trusting daughter how you sold her into the Bluebloods." She advised icily.
"We're all ears." Armor spoke up, snorting loudly through his nose, his right forehoof pawing at the carpet as his ears flattened. Cadence gave him a nudge to remind him to control his temper.
Night Light's eyes jumped back and forth between his wife, his daughter, and his son rapidly, and with a loud gulp, spoke. "W-well, four days ago, see, I was attending a ball I was invited to. Lots- lots of prestigious, you know, nobles and such would be there, and it was going to be for charity and all, and, well, they had a wine bar..."
Twilight let out a long, loud groan that drew her friends' attentions.
"You didn't." Armor gasped, and Cadence glanced to him in confusion.
"Well, I happened to meet Duke Blueblood at the Checkers table, and we were playing a game to pass the time, and we started talking..."
"About?" Twilight demanded, more than asked.
Night Light shook a little at her glare. "I-I happened to mention that I was enjoying my status as royalty now, but, well, we were still very low on the social ladder and I wouldn't mind getting a little more well-known..."
"Uh-huh." his daughter's tone both demanded he continued and promised death when the story was complete.
"H-he kept ordering us wine while we played, and he told me how he was annoyed with his son for bumbling around with different ladies but never getting married, and, well... um..."
"Go on dear." Twilight Twinkle advised, nudging him. "Tell her the good part."
"I... may have... on the game... I-may-have-bet-your-hoof-in-marriage." He ducked again, hooves covering his eyes.
"You- you bet me!?" Twilight shouted.
"What were you thinking!? You can't just bet Twilight!" Spike yelled at him, smoke curling from his little nostrils. Princess Cadence was debating whether or not to let Armor get past her as he ground his teeth and snorted more like a bull than a pony.
"I didn't mean to! It was the alcohol talking! I thought I was going to win!"
"Oh!?" Twilight snorted. "And what were you going to get if you won that game!?"
"... ... ..." Night Light whimpered, "... Another glass of wine...?"
Twilight's eyes widened.
"Twilight?" Rarity nudged her friend. She'd gone very very still.
"You just- that's- you preposterous idiotic drunken old foal! You- Twilight for wine? How can you- this doesn't justify-" Armor was interrupted when Twilight's horn flashed and the chandelier above them exploded.
Twilight Twinkle caught the falling pieces with a flash of her horn and glanced to the girls. "It's very nice to see you girls again, but we should save the pleasantries for later. Why don't you take Twilight up to her room and give her a chance to calm down." The five girls nodded, and dragged the frozen unicorn upstairs at her mother's direction.
----------
"Wine! Class and wine!" Twilight kicked the post of her bed, her magic setting off again and causing a table to turn to splinters. "Oh we're real royals now!"
"Calm down Twilight!" Dash tackled the unicorn before she could break something else, and squeaked when she was teleported into Twilight's old telescope.
Applejack winced at the crash, and then approached Twilight. "Calm down girl, ye're lettin' yerself go a bit crazy."
"A bit crazy!? I'm getting married!" Twilight threw her head back and cackled loudly, making Applejack's jaw drop. "Married! Married! Married! It's the happiest day OF MY LIFE!"
"... Whoa nelly." Applejack mumbled before she nodded to Fluttershy, and the pink-haired mare was out the door in an instant. "Um, Twi. Listen, I'm sure we can put a stop ta this. We just gotta tell your folks, or heck, the Princess! They'll fix this mess in no time at all, you won't have to get married an', y'know..."
"But I do! If I don't get married, dad doesn't get the WINE!" Twilight's eyes were bugging out of her head, and she was grinning way too hard. Spike poked his head out from underneath the bed, then slid back underneath and shivered.
"Twilight, how about something nice to drink?" Rarity hovered a glass of water over, and Twilight knocked it out of the air with a sweep of her hoof.
"Drink? Drinking is what got me into this mess! I don't need more drinks!" She shouted. Rarity was pretty sure everypony in the neighborhood could hear her by now.
"Ooh! I know! How about a balloon!" Pinkie hopped by her, holding out a floating balloon starring Twilight and Blueblood in front of the altar.
"My husband!" Twilight shrieked, and head-butt the balloon, popping it with her horn. "Oh no! He's gone!" She began to cackle again, making Pinkie take a few steps back while whimpering quietly.
A bucket of water fell onto Twilight's head, soaking her. All ponies present winced while Twilight stood still, and Fluttershy floated just overhead with her hooves to her face. "S-sorry... it slipped!..." She squeaked fearfully.
The bucket, rather than exploding, carefully slid off Twilight's head, and the purple unicorn took a few deep breaths. "Thanks for that." She glanced up at Fluttershy, who meekly nodded. "What were you saying Applejack?" The much calmer Twilight looked back to her friend.
"Oh, well, y'know. We can talk to your parents and get the weddin' called off, get the Princess down if we gotta. They can tell the Bluebloods it ain't happenin'. They won't be happy but hay, it'll save us all the trouble." Applejack smiled, and Twilight began to nod.
"Perfect idea. Let's go get it called off." She started for the door.
"It's not that simple." Before they could reach it, Cadence walked into the room. She glanced down to Twilight, and her serious face turned into a small smile. "Hello there, little sister. It's great to see you again." She leaned down, and Twilight returned the nuzzle.
"What do you mean 'not that simple'?" Twilight asked as Cadence rubbed their cheeks together, and the taller pony lifted her head and sighed. "I'm sure the Princess-"
"Like I said, it's not that easy. This is a nobles' affair, not a Princesses', even if we are part of her family now. The decision has already been made by your guardians, and it can't be rescinded." Cadence sighed heavily and started to walk around Twilight's room, fixing tables, picking up books, repairing the leg of the kicked bed.
"What do you mean it can't be whatever'd?" Dash dropped down to the floor with a small glare. "Let's just have Twilight's parents call it off if the Princess can't."
"Again, it's not that easy." Cadence sat down in front of Twilight, smiling down at her sadly.
"Why not?" Twilight asked, and the rest of her friends gathered around to listen.
"The Princesses can't object because this has been tradition since before auntie Celestia and auntie Luna came to Equestria. Nobles marrying their children to each other has been tradition even before Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead came into power and created Equestria, and specifically barred the Princesses from interrupting their traditions to protect the Noble Lineage." She frowned even deeper. "And the reason your parents can't call it off is because the Bluebloods have already paid for everything. The wedding, the attendees, the after-party, the dowry, all of it. They agreed to, and already have the bits quartered out to pay for your future, Twilight. They have spent millions of bits on this, and if your parents called it off, they would have to pay it all back."
"But..." Twilight glanced down at her hooves briefly, and felt Cadence approach and lean down to nuzzle her neck again. "We don't have anywhere near that many bits." She spoke, realizing the depressing truth of it.
"Which is exactly why it’s not happening. The Bluebloods are dead serious about this wedding, and are spending more bits than we ever did for Shining Armor's and my wedding."
"Where is Shining Armor?" Twilight asked with a low sigh, glancing to the door.
Cadence smiled a bit. "Downstairs, helping mom shout down dad. You should have seen his face when he learned about it. I could have sworn he was going to level Canterlot with how angry he was."
"He doesn't like Blueblood much either, does he?" Rarity chuckled a little, and Cadence nodded.
"Duke Blueblood is a decent enough colt, but he's underhoofed with his dealings. Duchess Blueblood is a walking, talking diva disaster, I can't even say hello to her without wanting to bury her. Prince Blueblood..." Cadence's eyes narrowed. "I'll eat my own tongue before I have to talk to him again."
"You may not have a choice." Twilight grumbled, looking towards the door again. "Considering I'm marrying him."
"Yeah." Cadence sighed. "And I'm very sorry about that. I can assure you Shining Armor and I will be very strict with him and keep an eye out for things."
"You also have us!" Pinkie announced, drawing nods from all the other ponies. Twilight smiled around at her friends.
"Thanks everypony." The five ponies gathered around her for a small hug, and Twilight chuckled a little. "Hey, why don't we all go out and I show you around? Would you like to come, Cadence?" Twilight looked up at the alicorn, who smiled brilliantly.
"Of course! Though if I may make a request..." She leaned down and joined in on the hug. "Just call me sis. We are related now."
"I definitely won't forget that." Twilight beamed.
----------
Twilight's spirits were in better shape than when she'd first gotten to Canterlot. She was very happy to introduce her friends to her old, favorite donut shop, show them the bookstores she used to frequent, and the magic academy she attended before becoming Celestia's student.
After that, Cadence led them to other places, showing off the best restaurants, several clothes stores, and even found a gardening shop for Applejack to take a look at. It was getting late by now, and they had just got to a store that sold all sorts of Wonderbolt souvenirs, and were snickering as Rainbow Dash freaked out and zipped all over when they noticed a small group of guards approaching.
"Uh oh." Cadence whispered. The other five ponies watched the guards come closer. "Those are Blueblood's house guards."
"Pardon us." The one in front announced, pausing a few feet from the group of mares. Dash stopped flying to watch. The guards weren't wearing golden armor, but rather silver, with blue stripes and the Blueblood Seal printed on the neck armor. They still had the usual guard's serious, flat expression as they looked to Twilight. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, correct?"
Twilight glanced to Cadence, who gave a small nod. "Yes, this is Twilight Sparkle." Cadence answered for her, and the guard nodded.
"Duke Blueblood has heard of you returning to Canterlot and has arranged a dinner between you and your fiancé in your home. We have been instructed to escort you to meet with him."
Twilight's ears fell, and she looked to Cadence again. Her sister nodded and rubbed her back. "Well," Twilight spoke up, hesitating for a moment before taking a few steps forward to meet with the guards, "Okay. I'll see you girls back at the house?" She glanced back to her friends.
"Don't worry Twilight, we'll be waiting for you." Rarity smiled. Twilight nodded, and they waved each other off before she was led away by the group of guards.
Dash settled down next to the other five mares. An uncomfortable silence ruled for a few moments before the blue pegasus cleared her throat. "We're totally following her, aren't we?"
"Oh yes." Cadence nodded and set off to do just that, the other girls quickly moving to follow her.
----------
Twilight hadn't been sure of what to expect. Judging by her neighbors' looks neither did they. A full team of Blueblood house guards were in her little gated neighborhood, while a fantastically expensive carriage baring the Blueblood seal on it sat in front of her house. Ponies stood on their stoops and looked out their windows as Twilight was lead down the street towards her house, and Twilight could feel their eyes watching her.
How did this look? Like Celestia being lead to some big event, with golden-armored guards replaced by silver ones, with the high princess herself being replaced by Twilight? She was corralled between two rows of guards leading to her old house's front door, and each guard pressed their lips to a trumpet and played a triumphant song of return as she was brought inside.
She saw her parents smiling nervously in the foyer, and her brother arguing heatedly with the mare in charge of the house guard. They both stopped when Twilight and the guards entered. "Ma'am, we've retrieved Twilight." The colt leading their group saluted.
"Yes, I can see that." The silver-armored captain dead-panned, then approached the mare. "His royal highness, Prince Blueblood is waiting in the dining room for you. We will be taking a few moments to dress you appropriately for the occasion."
"Do I really need to be- eep!" One of the guards pushed her towards a bathroom, and Shining Armor followed them with a frown. Inside the marble-tiled bathroom, house guards milled about, grabbing brushes and started combing her down roughly. "Ow- hey I don't think- oof!" Her mane and tail were tamed and straightened, her coat was flattened and pulled to perfection, one of the guards exited a closet holding a big, elaborate pink dress with more puff, bows, and frills than anything she'd ever seen, and Twilight's face drained of color as she saw it.
"Hey! Watch how you're brushing!" Shining Armor swat one guard's horn, making him drop the brush. Armor picked it up himself and began to much more delicately comb Twilight.
"And just who do you think you are?" The colt in charge demanded, drying Armor's sharp glare.
"I think I am Shining Armor, captain of Canterlot's Royal Guard, and the older brother of Twilight Sparkle!" He answered, walking around Twilight, keeping the other guards from tending to her as he combed her out. Even if her older brother was short in temper at the moment, Twilight was very glad to have him around, and gave him a smile to show him that.
"Then as her older brother you must understand the delicateness of the situation. We are in a big hurry, Prince Blueblood is very impatient, so you must know-"
"What I know is that I'm pissed off that you brutes are touching my sister! Back down!" He barked. The guards tensed, ready to start something, but a quick flash of Armor's captain seal made them hesitate, and finally sit down to let him finish. "Heya Twily. Sorry we haven't gotten a chance to speak." He said lightly as he brushed her hair out.
"It's alright. I haven't been in much of a speaking mood today. How are things with Sis?" She asked, and Armor sighed.
"Cadence? Oh she's fantastic. Coming home every day to a pony that loves you? There's no better feeling in the world. A shame that idiot father of ours just ruined it for you." Armor huffed loudly, and slowed himself down to not mess up Twilight's coat.
"Yeah." Twilight hung her head. She pushed her shoulders up as Armor brushed her there. "So, when did the guards show up?"
"Oh, about thirty minutes ago. Basically took over the whole neighborhood and invaded the house. Then they escorted that putz you're marrying in without letting us speak to him, so I have no idea what his deal is. Watcha think?" He turned Twilight to face a full-body mirror, and Twilight smirked.
"You need a little practice." She lifted the brush and started straightening the ends of her mane and tail. "So he's actually here? In the house?"
"In the dining room actually. Guards won't let me in to have a word with him, so it's up to you to let him know I hate his guts." Armor went to retrieve the dress, but before he could ask for it, the guards closed in with it.
"I'll be sure to- eep!" Twilight squeaked, and several guards sat her down and held her forelegs out as the dress was lowered onto her.
"Be careful you bunch of clods! She's marrying your boss, not dating your sister!" Armor growled, making the guards grumble and slow down.
"Alright Princess Sparkle, lift your chin, good. Now puff out your chest, suck in your tummy, and stand up, very good." The dress slid down her back, over her backside, and her tail was tugged out through a flap. "Lift this leg. Now this one. Don't flex! Good girl. Lower your ears, now lift them. Excellent." With the guards working on her, the dress didn't take more than a minute to slip into.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Twilight felt she looked ridiculous. She had ruffles down her chest, a big poofy dress around her backside layered with frills, she had a red bow around each leg and a massive one tied just above her tail. They fit her with a low, rounded hat with a small rim, decorated with red and white flowers, while a white bow sat on her neck. "Uh..."
"How do you feel?" The guard in charge asked, holding up a mirror to let her see herself from various angles. The other guards were straightening the dress, and she tried to wiggle her tail, but a hoof stopped her. "Don't shake too much." Twilight let out a sigh, and the bow around her back loosened. "Or breathe too much." Twilight turned her head sharply, but nearly lost the hat. "Try not to move very much at all."
"Well, I feel ridiculous." Twilight answered honestly, staring at herself in the mirror. This was Rarity's thing, not hers, but even Rarity might be offended by this get-up.
"Trust me Twily, you look ridiculous." Armor nodded from behind her.
"Thank you Armor." Twilight smirked back at him, but he was blocked from her view when the colt in charge walked around her.
"Alright ma'am, let's get moving." He ordered. Twilight sighed, but stopped herself before she could make the bow loosen again. They stepped out of the bathroom and she was lead to the dining room door, but turned her head when she noticed the other ponies in the foyer.
Her mother and father were watching her carefully, and behind them, all five of her friends and Cadence watched with confusion. Or in Dash's case, amusement. "Pfft." Dash covered her face, then burst out laughing, earning her a deadly glare from Twilight just before she was lead through the door.
The guards exited and shut the door behind her. There were no other guards in the dining room. It wasn't a big room, it had just enough space to walk around the table in the middle, which was large enough for ten ponies. Tonight, though, there were only two chairs, one at each end. The chandelier wasn't lit, leaving a few candles to cast the room in a dim light. There wasn't even any sun coming through the window on the other side of the table.
The whole place smelled like food. Very rich, very good food, probably the freshest, juiciest that could be afforded, and cooked with skill that was cultivated from the youngest of ages. She could smell bread, butter, spices, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. It was a glorious feast, to be shared with...
"Ah, hello." Twilight turned her head and met the blue eyes of a pure white stallion standing a short distance away. He was wearing a full-bodied tuxedo, rather than the small one he'd worn at the Gala. She wondered how long he'd been waiting. And how real that smile was. "My name is-"
"Prince Blueblood." Twilight finished for him, keeping the accusation out of her voice. Oh yes, she knew him well. He was a household name thanks to his looks, and thanks to Rarity, she knew just how rotten he was underneath that brightly wrapped package.
He seemed pleasantly surprised she knew his name, and nodded daintily. "Why yes. And you are Twilight Sparkle, the prized student of Princess Celestia. I've been hearing quite a bit about you lately." Twilight nodded slowly, and he walked over with a twitch of his shoulder to have her follow him. "You're really quite the fascinating young mare." His voice was light-hearted, gentle, and almost kind. She was trying to hear for anything past it. He still sounded quite stuffy and upper-class but she didn't hear anything condescending.
“Really." Twilight stated more than asked as she was lead to one end of the table. He pulled her seat out, and she slid into it, nodding at him briefly in thanks before he pushed the chair back in.
"Yes, really." He walked around the table, every move delicate and precise, and even if he was an awful excuse for a pony, Twilight had to admit, he was incredibly attractive in person. He took his own seat at the other end, and using magic, began to slice off a piece of dark-brown bread and spread butter along one side. "Celestia's prized student. Saved the world three times, yet still so quiet." To Twilight's surprise, the perfectly sliced and buttered piece of bread settled on her plate. He then levitated her salad plate and began to prepare her meal.
"Well, it's really not a big deal." Twilight frowned a little as she watched him work, filling the table in front of her with soups, salads, and plenty of other little treats. Now that she thought about it, all this food was actually very good looking, and she hadn't eaten since the picnic she was supposed to have before the news.
"On the contrary, I think you'll find saving your homeland and all the ponies that live among them a very big deal. Isn't it so that if a hero that demands to be served fame and fortune by the victims of tyranny, then are they no better than the tyranny? Strength, wisdom, and skill is divided among many-"
"- yet those who use it are divided between those who wield them for peace and justice, and for power and glory." Twilight finished, watching Blueblood in surprise. Then they both spoke up at once.
"Humbleness needs no power, justice needs no glory. Were I to choose a hero, I would pick the old, simply-clothed farmer over the golden-armored youth, who would barrel into battle shouting praises for themselves rather than their country."
Blueblood nibbled on a wine-coated grape, and noted Twilight's surprise. "Something the matter?"
"You've read Soft Quill's Philosophy?" She asked, watching the rich colt across from her. Blueblood smiled, and dabbed his mouth with a napkin.
"It's quite good. I prefer them over his Trials trilogy. It's a pity it never took off like Trials did, there's so much more to think about in Philosophy." He used a fork to eat his salad rather than stick his muzzle into it like lower-class ponies would.
"I thought I was the only one who'd ever read it! Nopony in any of my classes have read it, and in the town I'm living in now I haven't found a single pony who hasn't said it was too hard for them!" Twilight blinked rapidly at Blueblood.
For his part, his chest swelled up proudly. "Well, I'll admit I had to read it a few times to get it, but the more I read it, the more I seem to discover. That's why it's my favorite these days, though it's just barely edging out Grissom's Red Midnight."
"Red Midnight?" Twilight crinkled her snout. Blueblood noticed, and paused in eating.
"Not a fan?" He asked, but his voice stayed level.
"Not really. Far too much prose. And, well, it's a little erotic for my tastes. I read it once and didn't like it." She took a bite of the piece of buttered bread he'd given her, and she had to keep herself from squeaking in joy. This was the best bread she'd ever tasted!
"It does try to fill itself out, I'll admit, but it's quite thought-provoking as you get closer to the end. Not to mention there's nothing wrong with a little eroticism." He smiled to himself and kept eating, and Twilight blushed at the thought.
"Maybe. I wasn't expecting you to be so well-read." She blurted out. She froze when he looked up, and she covered her mouth again. She was really not used to dealing with royalty.
"Well, I do suppose none of those magazines and newspapers mention that part of my private life." He looked to her, and she nodded quietly in confirmation. "I do like to do more than party, I can assure you. I have plenty of interests, just like anypony. What about you Twilight, what do you like to do?"
Did... did he just ask her what she liked to do? 'He's an egotistical, head-up-his-fanny, pride-inflated ninny who would as soon wipe his hooves on you as he would a dirty bathroom towel!' "Well, I like to read." Twilight started, and Blueblood nodded. More? "I also like to practice magic, and be with my friends. I've recently discovered I like exploring, and I like to help things run smoothly." She looked him in the eye. He didn't seem at all perturbed. "What about you?"
"Oh, I like the usual. Parties, reading, socializing, running business. I also like a good, intelligent conversation, but I must admit, it's hard to find these days."
"Really? One of my friends has tried to speak to you before. She's really intelligent and she said you acted like a jerk." She froze. His fork fell out of the air, and he blinked at her a few times in silence. Well this was going to be a very awkward night.
"... I don't know who you're talking about, but I have heard several times I am very high-maintenance." He nodded, and remained quiet as he ate.
"It's just, kind of surprising..." Twilight spoke up, drawing his eye. "I don't know what I was expecting, but you're acting very nice." She hoped she wasn't digging herself a grave at this point. She wasn't sure how he'd take it, but if Rarity was correct, he'd-
He crossed his hooves in front of him, and looked her in the eye calmly. "You and I are getting married." He spoke very firmly, and for a second, his calm face broke, and she could see his annoyance. "I'll admit I'm not happy with the circumstance, but my father is insistent, and has assured me this will be a lifelong thing. I like my life easy, so the very last thing I want is for the mare I'm being set up with to hate me. The best thing I can do is make the most of it." He put back on a calm face and began to eat some pasta, not noticing Twilight's surprised look. She hadn't really thought he'd be unhappy with it. She rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Though, if I may say, I'm quite pleased with how pretty you are."
Twilight blanched.
----------
The doors to the dining room opened up. The house guards, the family, and the friends all turned to face the doors as Twilight Sparkle walked out, Blueblood by her side.
The tension in the air was so thick, Twilight was practically choking on it as she looked around slowly. She could see the displeasure in her friends' face, and the outright hate on Rarity's and Shining Armor's, while Cadence and her parents kept themselves calm and stoic.
The lead house guard approached. "Was everything to your liking, sir?" She asked, and he nodded.
"The food was acceptable, and the seats were comfortable. However," he fixed his look on the guard, who cringed a little, "the dress you chose for the lady was obviously uncomfortable, she was shuffling all night. Next time you dress her, I suggest you do it right, lest I have to hire some trained baboons who actually know what they're doing to replace you."
The guard leader nodded her head quickly and backed away. Twilight stared at Blueblood, then to her friends. Rarity looked confused for a moment, taken aback by the very slight concern for Twilight's comfort, but then Blueblood turned to face her parents. "As for you, I must say I'm heavily disappointed in the service. Not a single chef, waiter, nor butler came through all night, leaving us to serve ourselves! I can see it will be, once again, up to the Bluebloods to provide proper service when we are married. I suppose I will be the first to show your daughter how real royalty is meant to be treated." He rolled his eyes, the comfort and care in his voice gone as he spoke.
Twilight was staring her family and friends, as several of them had to work together to hold back Dash, Rarity, Shining Armor, and Twilight's mother. Blueblood ignored them, and they all froze as he delicately turned Twilight's head to face him with his hoof, a kind smile on his face.
"As for you Twilight, I look forward to practicing for our wedding tomorrow. Have a good night." He placed an innocent peck on her cheek and led the way out of the building, the house guards following behind him.
Twilight stared after him, dress burning in embarrassment.
I had better not see any comments on Growing Pains.
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But, but, what about...
Sorry Twilight, I'll behave!
Very entertaining start! And Blueblood with some depth, who would have thunk it?
I feel sorry for her a bit.
"Night Light and Twilight Twinkle?" Pinkie Pie wandered outloud. <- "Night Light and Twilight Twinkle?" Pinkie Pie wondered out loud.
Poor Twilight.
Shit just got real....
FOR THE LOVE OF SNOWWOOD, I NEED MORE!!
Whacky, adventurey, explorey yada yada shenanigans. hmmm... ->read later
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4567_small.jpg
Lets see where this goes
i.imgur.com/63OyM.gif
I want them to be happy together but at the same time I want Blueblood to burn in Tartarus's deepest pit.
Interesting idea, and you've presented it quite well. Your portrayal of Blueblood is very interesting. I'll be tracking this.
Oh, it's very nice to see this scenario without having Blueblood make a complete 180 in character. I've been bouncing this idea around on a number of boards for about half a year now, and I had yet to see any author make him express this very sentiment: "I like my life easy, so the very last thing I want is for the mare I'm being set up with to hate me." I think that nails him perfectly. It's clear that he can be charming if he wants to, but in many cases, he just doesn't. Twilight herself probably has little to no experience with physical affection from handsome guys (who aren't her brother); we'll have to see how she deals with it. She did say she didn't like the eroticism found in Red Midnight, but the real thing is a tad different than the book one.
It's going to be interesting to see whether her friends and family, in an effort to keep Twilight's husband-to-be in check, make things so uncomfortable in turn that it affects her life right back... Or sours things amongst themselves. After all, Shining Armor, in his position as Captain of the Royal Guard, is obligated to step in if anypony attacks a member of the royal family (a good thing too they could hold him back; I doubt the Princesses'd take a breach of trust like harming their nephew lightly, even if he is an ass)
It's moving a long a little quickly, but it's understandable if you want to establish the premises as soon as possible.
There's a question I'd like to ask you: In preparing for this story, did you try not to look at the works of other writers regarding this topic? I always wonder if reading as little as possible about how others have handled an idea is the right way to work out your own approach, or if it's better to do the opposite?
I'm lovin it, top of my keeping track list. Keep up the great work!
W-What is this? Blueblood written with realistic character depth? IMPOSSIBLE, I SAY!
Incidentally, I notice there is no "romance" tag. Care to explain?
In all seriousness, this is a wonderful idea, and brilliantly executed so far. I had to wipe away tears from my eyes at some points because I was laughing so hard. (Oh god, Twilight's dad will never live this down, will he?)
No one's OOC, especially Blueblood. There's a nice balance of self-importance and genuine courtesy there, and I love that you've written him in such a way that he's still a sort of regal jerk, but that's not ALL he is. Well done!
I eagerly await the next chapter!
988162 I actually didn't know if other fics like this existed, and was worried that I'd be considered a copy-cat or something.
I am a little worried because next chapter I intentionally speed things up very fast to get to the real meat of the story, and I worry some things will be lost in translation. Either way, working on chapter 3 right now, I'm proud of what I've come up with.
Haha! I'm not the only one who likes Bluelight shipping!
No longer forever alone!
But seriously, I like how you've portrayed Blueblood in this story. Still a bit of a snob but some decent character traits other than 'being a jerk' and all that. Faved and upvoted!
A most interesting concept. I look forward to the next chapter.
I have not read a story plot quite like this one. I hope you can explore Blueblood and Twilight without changing either character too much.
988491
As much as I want to, I'm afraid I can't assuage your fears. In the end, it'll come down to what it is you'll be speeding past.
Saw the author and knew it would be good - But this exceeded my expectations by a long shot!
I imagine that if Twilight becomes truly unhappy and her family is unwilling to shoulder the debt that backing out would bring, then Celestia could come up with some creative laws and taxes that would make the Blueblood's lives miserable until they fixed things...
991418
Or make Equestria blow up in her face^^
It's a ruse, I would probably think he'll beat her the second their honeymoon starts.
Neither of them want to get married. I wonder if they are gonna come up with a plan together so they don't have to get married.
Although, I see Blueblood is following the 'Happy Wife = Happy Life' logic. Smart thinking. It was also nice to see some depth to his character.
In a nutshell, I have no idea which way you're gonna go with this story. Will Twilight and Blueblood get married, or will they decide to come up with a way out of it. Either way... I'M LOVING THIS STORY AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE! KEEP GOING!
Sweet Celestia do I love you Peroth, I'm gonna watch you as an author now and forever. After some thinking I realised that growing pains is a mathematically perfect fic for me, and this is going in a very interesting direction. Is Blueblood's reason for dumping Rarity because he is actually high maintenance (I have doubt of this since that doesn't fit the kind of character you're making him), or the standard explanation for fics where he's not a bad guy of seeing Rarity as some kind of excessive romantic and trying to let her down gentle, or possibly even something new and better? Is Blueblood as good as he seems? Damn son(/daughter), this fic got so many unanswered question's it's almost a cliffhanger.
Definetly a fic that warrants some more chapters.
I gotta hand it to ya, this a promising story.
I have track this.
I personally can not see Twilight ... submitting .. to anything as important as an arranged marriage.
All the guards forcing a dress on her? the element of magic? Oh she could take em! without even trying hard.
After she throws a few of them into walls the rest should learn their lesson and keep hooves off Twili.
993648
...wait...
Do you mean that Physically or Metaphorically?
Honestly, I'm surprised Twilight didn't cause more damage than she did. That's not a criticism of the writing at all, I was just getting some very heavy Lesson Zero vibes combined with extreme rage and it could have gone oh so many ways.
Loved how she handled the door lock.
*sniff* I always cry at weddings. And funerals. I think this one is going to be a twofer. She inherits when...I mean if he dies, right?
... And then you had my attention...
This.
Did you make it up on your own, or did you pick it up from somewhere?
Growing pains?
It's beautiful... I must read more!
2621937
Another fan fiction? I don't recall it having much to do with blue blood
Her dress was burning? Did she evolve into Rapidash again?