I'm sorry but since when did people fight "gorillas" in jungles. In Afghanistan or Iraq nonetheless?
Making the main protagonist wallow in self-pity like this isn't scoring any sympathy points with the readers. It's been overdone to death at this point. Yikes.
I'd honestly rather read a story about an individual that has the sheer will power and determination to boldly exclaim "Get fucked!" to the powers that wrongfully displaced him against his will in this savage world and make them his bitch just to right their wrongs. I want to see a character struggle against all odds and hopefully succeed, retaining the thing that makes us all so very precious. His humanity.
You don't have to have an obnoxiously good or evil protagonist either. Moral ambiguity, especially when in a situation like this, is more or less expected. Character development and attachment is important yo.
Don't ride the wave of success from someone else's fictional universe. Invent! Be creative! And for the love of God please avoid clichés.
9220979 "Guerilla" is a term to describe a type of warfare. Guerilla tactics often involve hit and runs, sabotage, ambushes raids and other tactics that some view as not honorable or underhanded but practical and strategic. He's not talking about actual Gorilla's.
9220979 One can argue when you lose your legs, eyes, and other parts I've forgotten. You pretty much lose any sense of humanity you may have had, especially when they're replaced with metal.
Where else would you fight guerrillas? Jungles have the best cover for hit and runs, and ambushes. Not in some desert where it's mostly flat open ground.
As for the protagonist... These are actual problems that people face, in fact some people face it without functioning limbs to compensate for the losses. The fact he said he lost his eyes and yet they were replaced with synthetic ones(I'm assuming) Makes him honestly lucky. Off track a little, but another point is PTSD is a HUGE problem for people who suffer from it. "It's been overdone" seems to be a bit insulting to people who do have these problems, doesn't it? Relegating a mental infirmity to a trope that can be overdone makes it seem less real.
Of course, I can't defend this character, since he is lucky to get at least some semblance of independence back while most people who suffer from similar injuries can't say the same thing.
9221213 I get what you mean here, but please for the love of all that's holy go edit the word "gorilla" into "guerrilla". Please... it really pulls the reader out of the story. As for the rest of the story, I'm reading it, you do you and keep writing, and thanks for your hard work.
I'm sorry but since when did people fight "gorillas" in jungles. In Afghanistan or Iraq nonetheless?
Making the main protagonist wallow in self-pity like this isn't scoring any sympathy points with the readers. It's been overdone to death at this point. Yikes.
I'd honestly rather read a story about an individual that has the sheer will power and determination to boldly exclaim "Get fucked!" to the powers that wrongfully displaced him against his will in this savage world and make them his bitch just to right their wrongs.
I want to see a character struggle against all odds and hopefully succeed, retaining the thing that makes us all so very precious. His humanity.
You don't have to have an obnoxiously good or evil protagonist either. Moral ambiguity, especially when in a situation like this, is more or less expected.
Character development and attachment is important yo.
Don't ride the wave of success from someone else's fictional universe. Invent! Be creative! And for the love of God please avoid clichés.
9220979
"Guerilla" is a term to describe a type of warfare. Guerilla tactics often involve hit and runs, sabotage, ambushes raids and other tactics that some view as not honorable or underhanded but practical and strategic. He's not talking about actual Gorilla's.
9220979
"Gorillas" is a term for fighters that use hit and run tactics, and usually aren't part of a regular military unit.
The rest of what you said is decent advice, but I ain't done just yet.
9221213
I find it funny that we both said the same thing but you got the up votes while I got the down votes.
9221319
Especially considering the fact that you spelled it correctly.
9221213
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guerrilla
9220979
One can argue when you lose your legs, eyes, and other parts I've forgotten. You pretty much lose any sense of humanity you may have had, especially when they're replaced with metal.
Where else would you fight guerrillas? Jungles have the best cover for hit and runs, and ambushes. Not in some desert where it's mostly flat open ground.
As for the protagonist... These are actual problems that people face, in fact some people face it without functioning limbs to compensate for the losses. The fact he said he lost his eyes and yet they were replaced with synthetic ones(I'm assuming) Makes him honestly lucky. Off track a little, but another point is PTSD is a HUGE problem for people who suffer from it. "It's been overdone" seems to be a bit insulting to people who do have these problems, doesn't it? Relegating a mental infirmity to a trope that can be overdone makes it seem less real.
Of course, I can't defend this character, since he is lucky to get at least some semblance of independence back while most people who suffer from similar injuries can't say the same thing.
9221213
I get what you mean here, but please for the love of all that's holy go edit the word "gorilla" into "guerrilla". Please... it really pulls the reader out of the story. As for the rest of the story, I'm reading it, you do you and keep writing, and thanks for your hard work.
Mientras sea independiente de la historia original, le doy una oportunidad
Now this is what you get for not checking your drink now your in a slave trade