A young Death by the name of Lily is sent to Equestria after one too many emotional outbursts on the job. There's just one catch: Equestrians don't die.
8915917 Immortality and invulnerability are two very different concepts, so are the ponies both at the same time? That just wouldn't make sense in any story or reality.
8922225 Unless they don't die, but instead something else happens. Like maybe you live to a certain point, you transcend. Not die, but go to another level of existence. I'very seen it a couple of times on Star Trek.
Alicorns are there to keep an eye on the ones that are not transended.
8922131 They're not invulnerable, they're immortal. The reason Lily can't hurt them is because she's a Death, and a Death's scythe can only harm non-living entities. If Lily was to punch somepony, they'd definitely feel it.
Regardless of how it happens, I do appreciate the feedback. As for the whole "Luna" situation, there very well could be ponies as old as Luna is, although I'm not going to be delving THAT deep into the whole "immortality" bit of the story. The main focus isn't how old the ponies are, remember.
8923098 Going by that logic there should still be deaths occasionally due to falling a few stories or other common accidents that lead to death. And wouldn't life threatening bacteria and viruses still be killing ponies every once in a while as well?
Immortality is a finicky thing, but something common that happens always seems to be that injuries heal given enough time, and diseases (not counting chronic illnesses such as cancer) will eventually go away too. On the same end, there's no guarantee that certain diseases even exist.
And finally, remember, it's an alternate universe, so some things can be chalked up to that as well.
Not to dismiss your thoughts, however. I always enjoy critiques on my stories. If I'm going to be honest, the whole "immortality" thing wasn't supposed to be the main focus as much as it was Lily being trapped somewhere unfamiliar with no information as to why she's even there. There IS an underlying theme here, and I feel like it's being lost in translation. Let me be clear when I say that there IS a reason to Lily's reassignment, and it's not necessarily a "vacation" either.
As always, I appreciate the feedback, and I'm sorry if there are parts of it that don't quite make sense. I hope you enjoy the story nonetheless~
Nice.
8915917
Immortality and invulnerability are two very different concepts, so are the ponies both at the same time? That just wouldn't make sense in any story or reality.
If no one ever died thatn their would be people who knew luna.
This whole premise recks any story.
8922225
Unless they don't die, but instead something else happens. Like maybe you live to a certain point, you transcend. Not die, but go to another level of existence. I'very seen it a couple of times on Star Trek.
Alicorns are there to keep an eye on the ones that are not transended.
considering its been implied death' show no emotion, and that she was forcibly drowned? no.. she does not.
wow lily might be the only character that comes close to replacing twilight for me.....and thats saying a lot...good job i guess???
8922131
They're not invulnerable, they're immortal. The reason Lily can't hurt them is because she's a Death, and a Death's scythe can only harm non-living entities. If Lily was to punch somepony, they'd definitely feel it.
8922334
Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
8922225
8922250
Regardless of how it happens, I do appreciate the feedback. As for the whole "Luna" situation, there very well could be ponies as old as Luna is, although I'm not going to be delving THAT deep into the whole "immortality" bit of the story. The main focus isn't how old the ponies are, remember.
8923098
Going by that logic there should still be deaths occasionally due to falling a few stories or other common accidents that lead to death. And wouldn't life threatening bacteria and viruses still be killing ponies every once in a while as well?
8923256
Immortality is a finicky thing, but something common that happens always seems to be that injuries heal given enough time, and diseases (not counting chronic illnesses such as cancer) will eventually go away too. On the same end, there's no guarantee that certain diseases even exist.
And finally, remember, it's an alternate universe, so some things can be chalked up to that as well.
Not to dismiss your thoughts, however. I always enjoy critiques on my stories. If I'm going to be honest, the whole "immortality" thing wasn't supposed to be the main focus as much as it was Lily being trapped somewhere unfamiliar with no information as to why she's even there. There IS an underlying theme here, and I feel like it's being lost in translation. Let me be clear when I say that there IS a reason to Lily's reassignment, and it's not necessarily a "vacation" either.
As always, I appreciate the feedback, and I'm sorry if there are parts of it that don't quite make sense. I hope you enjoy the story nonetheless~
8923389
Thank you for the clarification, I was confused on some aspects of the story.
Holy moly!!! This just gets better and better!!!
Woah that ending...