Marcus Thorne is a very talented Pokémon trainer who has a very troublesome history. His past has caused him to eventually become a near emotionless man who is cold to both people and Pokémon. One day as he and his companions are descending Mt. Silver, the suddenly end up in an entirely new dimension. One that is not inhabited by either Pokémon or humans.
Though it’s not my style, I decided to make this my very first story. The story here takes place during season 8 and is an alternate universe which will ignore any events that will happen in the final season. Since this is my first story, I could actually use some constructive criticism.
I don’t own anything.
I really enjoy the chapter. I hope you continue this story to it's potential. Also that rewrite was a good idea. Keep up the good work.
What the hell, why didn’t this pop in my notifications sooner? I’m following you and yet I almost miss out on your first fic.
This didn’t pop in my notifications for some reason
But still good chapter
its ok nice work
Not too into pokemon as much as I used to be, but it's got some good stuff. Not really a fan of dark or tragic things either. Still, hope people like it.
nice work
love it keep it up
2 down 8 to go
Comma overuse here, either sentence would be fine without. Fairly sure I missed others.
Latter half of this feels weird, might wanna reword it.
Awww, the edgy boi, with his edgy backstory. I love him. Also it says spiked twice.
Maybe change the last bit to "despite how hard he is on her, obeying his every command, no matter how cruel."
Overall, you've got my interest so far, though I feel the pokemon intensive start might drive off more casual readers. I'll get around to reading the next chapter later, and leavr you with this for now.
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Thank you, since this is my first story I’m looking for constructive criticism
I want to punch Marcus out so much right now. That is not how you treat your team, and I've got the Legendries to back it up. I'm loving the story and can't wait to read more.
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You know, it’s funny you mention that. Marcus is this only one of the three trainers who has a mythical/legendary Pokémon on his team.
Are you gonna update this, please?