Her Reasons
Twilight paced back and forth as she frantically tried to muster up her courage. Thankfully the hallway she was now in was devoid of any ponies or objects that she might bump into. Her eyes flickered for a moment at the large double doors across from her while the fur on the back of her neck nearly stood straight up. Normally, Twilight wasn’t afraid of doors and there was nothing menacing about these at all. They were just slightly larger than most of the doors she had passed by on her way here and were a light shade of blue with the moon painted in the middle. No, it wasn’t the doors that had Twilight in a panic but the pony who was currently on the other side.
The purple alicorn still could not believe what Celestia had told her. Princess Luna, the mare who became evil due to jealousy over the love and attention that her sister received every day, had declined an offer that give her what she always wanted. Not only that, but for some reason that completely escaped Twilight, Luna had nominated Twilight for the position instead. But why? What made Princess Luna think that she could actually do this? At least Twilight could sort of understand Princess Celestia agreeing with this decision. After all, the solar princess had always believed in Twilight as well as her abilities even when nopony else did. Yet right now this still seemed a little too much for her.
Thankfully, Twilight didn’t have to decide right away. After she had received this information, Twilight had been told by Princess Celestia to give the matter some thought and that she would stand by whatever decision her former pupil chose. She also hinted to Spike that they should allow Twilight some time to herself in order think about this without any distractions.
So Twilight did what she normally did as she walked the halls: she made a list. Well, two lists to be precise, lists of the pros and cons. Starting with the pros, going to Thunder Valley and becoming their Queen would be a chance of a lifetime. She would be able to see a country that nopony had ever visited before and learn so much. There were sure to be books there that she had never read before. Just thinking about all she could learn like their arts, sciences, and history almost caused the mare to drool where she stood. But, most important of all, she would be able to make a difference in the lives of so many ponies. Add to the fact that, if she didn’t, who knew who they would pick instead. The idea of somepony like Prince Blueblood taking up the job sent shivers down her spine. On the cons side, there was the very real possibility that she would never be able to spend time with her friends the way she used to. Gone would be the days where she could travel around and go on adventures. She would be farther away from her family. She would be alone in a different country.
For the first time in her life, Twilight’s list making skills hadn’t made things easier. In a way it felt like a betrayal from something she trusted. While there were more pros than cons, the cons side just felt…heavier. The idea that she would not be able to be with the ponies she cared about hurt her more than anything she had ever felt before. Yet the longing to help others and to learn more was just an impossible lure that Twilight couldn’t resist. So she was stuck in the same position as she was when she made the list.
So here she was now, pacing back and forth in front of Princess Luna’s door as she mustered up the courage to talk to her. She needed to know why the Princess of the Night was not taking up this role. Perhaps with that information, it would help Twilight with this decision. Or knowing the reason might help Twilight convince Princess Luna to do this instead. At least that way everypony would win.
Taking a deep breath, Twilight moved towards the door and knocked on it three times. The few seconds she stood there, waiting for a response, felt to her like an eternity as she immediately began to second guess herself. Perhaps she should have thought out what she was going to say and organize it. What was she going to say and how should she say it? Was there time for her to head down to the library, look up a book on the matter, and come back when she had a solid plan? Or was she just stalling right now? What if she looked like an idiot in front of the Princess? What if she said something accidently that hurt Princess Luna’s feelings so much that Princess Celestia banished her to Magical Kindergarten for the rest of eternity?! As these thoughts continued to build within Twilight’s head, her breathing quickened as well as her panic. Thankfully, before she could have a full on breakdown, the doors to the Sister of the Night’s bedroom opened to allow her entrance.
With a calming breath, Twilight entered Princess Luna’s room for the very first time. As she called out for the Moon Princess, Twilight took a moment to look around the slightly darkened room. The room was smaller than Princess Celestia’s by comparison, but not terribly so that it would feel uncomfortable. There was a crescent moon shaped bed close to the door that looked like it might be made of silver. Along the walls were light fixtures that looked like trees with light bulbs at the end of each branch. Finally, there was Luna standing directly across from her staring at one of the very heavy curtains as if she could see through it and into the brightly lit day.
“I knew you would come Twilight Sparkle,” said the Lunar Princess as the doors swiftly closed behind Twilight, causing her to jump. This left the two of them alone in the barely lit room, making the situation all the more intimidating to Twilight. “Forgive me for not meeting you along with my sister as I should have. I have needed some time to myself in order to reflect on the matters at hoof.”
Twilight gave a nervous laugh as she felt sweat appear on her face. “Oh, is that so?” she said while eyeing the door behind her. “Well, if that’s the case then I can come back later.”
Luna turned her head around to look at Twilight for the first time, eyebrow raised. “If I did not wish to speak to you, I would have either not allowed you entry into my private sanctuary or simply told you to leave. Besides, the choice before you should be made soon. The thestrals shall wait a while, but their time here is not infinite.”
“R-Right,” stammered Twilight as she approached Luna. As she did, Luna turned her entire body around to face Twilight. “I guess I just wanted to know why you turned this position down and why you think I’m the pony for the job.”
“I see,” said Luna, closing her eyes for a moment. “I suppose that is an understandable question given my past. Yet it is because of my past that I have chosen not to take up the mantle of Queen.” At that, Twilight’s eyes widened as her mouth dropped slightly. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could her past make her make her think that she shouldn’t become a Queen? Then, it hit her like that piano that fell from the sky a year or so ago when she was trailing Pinkie Pie. It all came from a single name.
“Is it because of Nightmare Moon?” asked Twilight. The young alicorn watched as Luna nodded while lowering her hind legs so that she could sit down while still towering over Twilight. “But I don’t get it! Everypony has forgiven you for what happened including your sister. I know she’d help support you no matter what.”
“Not everypony has forgiven me,” replied Luna as she lowered her head. She then took a deep breath before exhaling, her body becoming looser as she did. Luna seemed to lose a lot of the power and intimidation she once had when Twilight first entered the room. She almost seemed weak and tired. “While you are correct that my sister has forgiven me and would support me in this situation, there are many here in Canterlot who would not. Many of the nobles here remember how I overthrew my sister and nearly brought forth an eternal night. They think I do not know this, but I am aware of their eyes watching me whenever I walk through the halls of the castle during the day as well as their agents during the night. Many of them believe that I am pretending to have been purified of my insanity and am now waiting for the right moment to strike. That fear has haunted their dreams many nights since I have returned. And while I have not named names, I have brought this situation up with my sister who has told me not to worry about it too much. That it will blow over sooner or later. So I have allowed their spying ways in order for them to see that I have changed as well as to put their minds at ease, at least a tiny bit.”
Luna paused to look over at the curtained window she had been staring at. “Now, imagine what would happen if I left to some far away kingdom outside of their sight and influence. Their fears would be doubled. Every action I made would be questioned by them, paranoia festering that I am up to no good. Worse, if they went to my sister with their fears I know she would dismiss them. No matter what she said to try and reassure them, they would believe that her familial feeling towards me were blinding her to see the truth they believed in. Tensions would rise until something snapped.” Luna shook her head as she turned to look at a stunned Twilight again. “If that happened, I would be putting the ponies of two nations in jeopardy.”
“Gee,” said Twilight as she brought a hoof to her chin. “I never thought about it like that.”
Luna nodded. “And that is only the ponies here in Canterlot. I am sure that there are others out there across Equestria who still view me as Nightmare Moon. Perhaps in the same way that Ponyville had of me prior to Nightmare Night. I cannot imagine what would happen should I take over my own kingdom so soon after my return. Before I have had a chance to convince them that my intentions are pure.
“Then there is the matter of myself. I…have not quite forgiven myself for the harm I have done to this land. Taking up a throne all to myself after all I have done would not be right. To make sure that I will never forget I have-” Luna stopped herself there, her eyes suddenly widening. To Twilight, it was like Luna was about to tell her something important that she knew she shouldn’t and had stopped herself.
“A-Anyways,” stammered Luna nervously, almost confirming Twilight’s suspicions. Twilight wanted to interrupt her, to ask what she was about to say. However, Twilight knew that if she pressed the issue then there was a chance that Luna would clam up before ushering her out of the room. The younger alicorn quickly reasoned that if something was wrong, she would have to wait for Luna to mention something. Until then Twilight would show Luna that, as a friend, she was there for her when she would be ready to talk. So, Twilight said nothing as Luna continued to talk. “I-I am also still getting used to this time. My reeducation has been going such smoother since I last saw you in Ponyville, as you can probably tell. My speech has become more modern and I am getting used to some of these new devices everywhere. Still it would probably be best for me to remain here by my sister’s side until I have caught up completely.”
“I guess that makes sense,” began Twilight as she bit her lower lip. “But, why pick me?” This question seemed to give Luna some of her energy back as she seemed to hold herself up tall again. There was also a hint of a smile on her face as the Lunar Princess looked down at her.
“Why not pick you?” she asked with traces of humor weaved into her voice.
“I don’t know what to do,” said Twilight quickly. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Neither did Celestia or I when we first took on our crowns,” replied Luna easily, as if it were common knowledge.
“But there has to be somepony more qualified for this than I am,” said Twilight quickly. “Perhaps one of the nobles like Fancy Pants or somepony like that!”
Luna shook her head. “Twilight Sparkle, when you became an alicorn my sister said it herself. You have displayed the various traits that make you a true leader, one who has earned the right to rule as a princess of Equestria. That was why she pushed you through so many tests to get you to this point, because she believes in you. As do I for that matter.” Luna leaned a bit closer to Twilight. “But beyond that, I know you will see them for who they really are.”
As Princess Luna pulled back, Twilight wondered what she meant by this. When she had first seen a thestral up close and without armor her first impression was to think he was a vampony. She had reacted with fear. How could she possibly rule a nation full of ponies like this when just one of them made her nervous?
Her face must have betrayed her thoughts for Luna shook her head slightly. “Twilight Sparkle, do you remember how it was when I visited Ponyville during my first Nightmare Night? How everypony there reacted at the sight of me?” Slowly, Twilight nodded not knowing where the princess was going with this. “There was only one pony there who did not react with fear when she laid eyes on me: you. Only you reached out your hoof to try and help me. To show me how I could soothe the fears of my new subjects so they would not see me as a foal eating monster.”
“But that was because I saw the Elements purify you,” interrupted Twilight as she stood a step forwards. “I knew you were Luna and I could see that you were having a hard time adjusting. But with the thestrals-”
“You saw them the way they were taught to you,” interrupted Luna this time as her horn began to glow. A moment later the magical blue image of a thestral appeared between the two. It was small, probably only a few inches tall as it flapped its bat like wings while flying in a figure eight formation. “I am aware of how they have been recorded by history. Many here will see them as monsters as they did back in the time before I was banished. They will react to them the same way they did to me. But now that you know that they are simply ponies like the rest of us, I have the utmost confidence that you shall treat them as such. To offer them your hoof in friendship as you did to me. To see the best in them like with that griffon who visited Ponyville. And, as with me, I know you will do everything in your power to help the world see them for who they are.” Luna reached out her hoof as the image vanished, gently placing it under Twilight’s chin. “This, I believe with all my heart, makes you far better suited for this task than I am in my current state.”
Twilight pulled her head back to look away from Luna’s gaze. “But I don’t know if I can do this without my friends,” admitted Twilight causing Luna to lower her hoof. “I was only able to make it to this point because I had them in my life. If I do this, then we’ll have to say goodbye because I can’t ask them to give up their lives and dreams just to make me feel better. It wouldn’t be fair to them.”
Luna closed her eyes as she let out a sigh. “No, it wouldn’t,” she agreed as she opened them again. “Twilight Sparkle, I know this is a daunting decision before you. If you truly feel that you cannot do this or live without your friends than I urge you not to take this path. Nopony of any worth will think the lesser of you least of all me or my sister.”
Hearing that, Twilight relaxed a bit as she felt a great sense of relief. But it only lasted a moment as the smile that had appeared on her face vanished just as quickly as it came. “But then what will happen to the thestrals?”
“Their fate will be out of our hooves,” answered Luna gravely. “They will either continue down the road they are on or seek another. Which they will choose I cannot say.” To this, Twilight nodded before excusing herself.
-x-
It was several hours later and Twilight now found herself in one of the sitting rooms in the upper floors of the castle. In the past, she had had several lessons with Princess Celestia in this very room back when the princess wanted a more private session. In those days, Twilight could use her magic without worrying if anypony was watching her. It was simple, just a student and teacher. But now the room had changed since Twilight had been in it. The cushions, small tables, and other various items in the room had been elegantly placed against the walls so that Twilight could pace in peace. It was the only thing she could think of that could calm her nerves right now.
As she continued to move, her eyes shot another glance at the clock. She knew it had not been too long ago since she had requested to see Count Raven. The guard sent for him knew where she would be waiting. All she would have to do was wait patiently for him to arrive so she could give him her answer. However, with each glance at the clock, Twilight felt a ball of nervousness grow inside her while tying itself into knots. This was going to be the biggest decision of her entire life and just giving it was frightening her to no end. Twilight wished he would hurry up so she could tell him, no matter how much that sounded like something Rainbow Dash would think.
As Twilight continued to pace, she regretted asking Spike not to stay with her. She had already told her number one assistant her answer and he supported her decision. What he didn’t support, however, was her being by herself when she told the earl. He had told her that he should be there while she waited. Sadly, Twilight had insisted that this should be done with just the two of them. Maybe if she hadn’t insisted then maybe she wouldn’t feel so wound up right now. Perhaps she wouldn’t look like a nervous wreck ready to explode at any moment!
As Twilight’s wings began to fidget uncontrollably, there was a sudden knock on the door. The door then opened slightly to allow the face of the Guard Twilight had sent.
“Princess, Count Raven is here to see you,” he said.
“Good,” said Twilight quickly. Too quickly in what could have been one of her more awkward tones. Taking a moment, Twilight cleared her throat before she spoke again. “Thank you, please allow him in and that will be all.” The Guard nodded before he pulled his head back. Once it was out of sight the door opened fully and, standing in the middle of the doorway, was a frowning Count Raven.
For a moment, the Count stood there with a deadpan expression. Twilight could see his eyes surveying the room as if he were expecting a trap of some kind. That or he was taking in the state of the room as well as its sole occupant. Twilight could see his slit eyes linger on her ruffled feathers as well as the matching ones on the ground around her. They then narrowed in on her mane which she was sure was sticking up in several spots. Unable to help herself Twilight did her best to smile which resulted in the stallion closing his eyes and sighing.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” said Count Raven after he opened his eyes. “I am here as you requested. Do you have an answer for me?”
“I,” began Twilight but paused when she heard how nervous she still sounded. The knots inside her were already beginning to tighten as her flight or fight instincts told her to make a run for it. Standing on the rails as the Friendship Express came thundering towards her was a more welcome situation than this. Still, Twilight knew she couldn’t back down now. Not after calling Count Raven all the way here. So after taking a moment to collect herself, Twilight was able to talk with a bit more confidence. “I have. If you would permit, I would like to become your Queen.”
There, she had done it. At once she felt the coils of nervousness within her beginning to loosen, allowing her body and mind to relax slightly. She could even feel the strands of her mane that had been sticking out of place return to where they should have been. Count Raven, on the other hoof, seemed unmoved by this statement. At the most, one of his eyebrows had risen slightly as he continued to stare down at the alicorn.
“I see,” he said after a moment. “Well then, my lady, would you mind if I asked you why you think you would be a good leader? Better than the one we actually wanted?”
“In all honesty, I don’t know,” replied Twilight sincerely causing Count Raven eye’s to widen at that statement. Clearly, he had been expecting something else. Her voice was much calmer now as she spoke, placing a hoof over her heart as she elaborated. “I’ve done many things before, but never anything like what I’m being asked to do. It’s almost a little intimidating having that much power and being responsible for the lives of so many ponies. Knowing that any mistakes I make could spell disaster to them is something frightening to me. Some might say it that it would be in my best interests not to even try since I might not be able to handle it.
“But despite that I still want to try! You came here seeking help for your nation, for the ponies who live there! With the position that I now hold, I can be that help that you need if you let me. I can’t promise I’ll be a good or better than the ruler you’ve had in your past or even if I can meet your expectations. All I can give you is my word that I will learn all I can as fast as possible in order to be what you deserve. If you’ll have me that is.” With that said, Twilight lowered herself into a bow in front of Count Raven. For several long heartbeats, Twilight remained in this position as she waited for a response of some kind. She didn’t know if he was staring at her in surprise, confusion, or even if he had a smirk on his face from seeing a princess prostrate herself like this. She just kept still, waiting for him to make the next move.
Twilight’s ears perked slightly when she heard Count Raven’s hoofsteps as he moved about the room past her. Slowly, Twilight rose and turned to see that his back was facing her as he stared at a wall.
“You fidget too much, Your Grace,” he said slowly. As Twilight blinked in confusion, he continued. “Also, your hesitation might not be seen by many as a sign of a good ruler. They will think you indecisive, especially at critical moments. There will be many thestrals out there who will see this as you being weak willed. An easy pushover to either get what they want or have you booted off the throne.” At this, Twilight lowered her head slightly in defeat. Movement ahead of her caught her attention, raising it back up just in time to see Raven turn to look at her with a smile on his face. “But that will be their mistake, won’t it Your Grace?”
Again Twilight blinked before the meaning of his words became clear. “You mean you’re ok with me becoming Queen instead of Princess Luna?” Twilight’s eyes shined with excitement as Earl Grey have a very short nod. But it was, nonetheless, a nod.
“Despite what both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia claimed, I had my doubts about you Your Grace,” said Count Raven as he took a single step closer to Twilight. He gave a light chuckle. “But I suppose that was not hard to guess, given how I acted. I do hope Your Grace can understand why. I was sent here, to a land we only knew from myth, in the hopes of finding an immortal ruler for us. Imagine how it feels when after the journey is through, the one whom you sought after replies no. Follow that up with that same legendary mare claiming that another alicorn could take her place; one who has only recently become an alicorn. I’m afraid that in my shattered disappointment I made a grave error with you.”
“So what changed your mind?” asked Twilight, curious.
“Your humility, Your Grace,” replied Count Raven. “I had believed that once you found out what we were asking, you would leap for the opportunity presented. I see it all the time back in Thunder Valley that it feels much like clockwork. Once you realized what was being offered I believed you would spend your time trying to figure out how to boast about how you are the perfect mare for the job before summoning me. Yet Your Grace’s words felt, for lack of a better word, honest. Truthful, given what I have been told about Your Grace from Princess Celestia.
“Not only that, but I believe that the time it took you to come to this decision worked in your favor. My former King would often witness those who leapt at the chance to secure a position that granted them more power without thinking things through. Never wondering what they would do with this power or if they were able to meet all the responsibilities that it came with. It would only take one cog in the machine to bring everything to a standstill or, worse yet, break the machine entirely. Hearing Your Grace talk, it is clear that you at least understand what is expected of you. That is a good start. Hopefully, Your Grace is a quick study.”
Unable to control herself, Twilight smirked at this statement. Clearly, Count Raven had no idea who he was talking to. “I’m sure I’ll be able to manage.” Twilight then paused as she brought a hoof to her chin. “So, what comes next?”
“Well, I believe we should be heading to Thunder Valley as soon as possible,” responded Count Raven. As he spoke, Twilight’s heart sank heavily at this. She hadn’t even been able to tell her friends that she had gone to Canterlot. Now she was heading off into a new country without even saying goodbye to them or her family! Sure she could write them a letter or something, but that’s not what they deserved after everything they had been through. At the very least, she should be able to say goodbye face to face. Perhaps she could get Princess Celestia to send for them while Twilight was preparing to leave.
“With that in mind,” continued Count Raven, speaking louder as if to get Twilight’s attention. “I am sure there are several affairs that will need to be taken care of before Your Grace can leave Equestria. Things that will need to be packed, ponies who would appreciate a goodbye, and so forth. While I am sure that it is not much time the return to Thunder Valley shall be delayed by one week. Please do your best to see to it that everything is taken care of by then.”
What happened next probably took Count Raven by surprise. Unable to control herself, Twilight lunged forwards to embrace the thestral in a hug. She could feel the stallion’s body stiffen, as if he were unaccustomed to such acts. Yet, slowly, he began to loosen up before returning the hug.
“Thank you,” whispered Twilight before pulling back. As Twilight wiped away a tear with her hoof, Count Raven brought his left wing over his heart before he sank into a bow.
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This is well written so far. I will follow this.
huzzah 10 bits rainbow goes with her you know loyalty and all that jazz
yay!!! I can not wait to see what will happen now
Well, at least Lunas reasons make sense
Wait.. so the Tantabus hasn't been delt with? Or am I miss interpreting that?
8884482
You Shouldn't make bets like that, usually it will make the writer change an existing idea if that was the case.
8885214
This story is set right after Twilight became an Alicorn. So Luna is still dealing with her issues
8885223
Yeah after I commented I looked up the episode and I don't know why but I though it had happens pre-asencion not post-Asencio, derp.
hello 8885223
Question? Twilight is she immortal?
8889424
nope
More of this please!
8889559
well it will be interesting to see a bat pony/alicorn, daughter of Twilight. I am not demanding. I'm just saying it will be interesting if you want to take that route
8875264
reading the story Thousand Year Change. I have to admit that it is very interesting thank you for suggesting it
Yeah, a weak monarch is bad news for a country. Hopefully Twilight learns some self-confidence.
10347736
I agree that Indecision can indeed be a bad thing, but so can hasty decision making. The difference between taking time to understand a situation and total "deer in headlights" panic/indecision is not always clear. But, I have faith in Twilight that she will grow and learn and become a marvelous queen in due time.
8891577
Hey, one tiny question (If you're willing to answer obviously) Who is the autor of Thousand Year Change? Over the years have appeared a lot of stories with similar titles and I'm a bit lost.