Garrison 'Gauche-Suede' Varas is the best at what he does, and what he does is repossess and allocate certain capital. Whether he be lining his own pockets or giving to those in need, all Gauche knows is that Equis is ripe and ready for a good stroll
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So I wasted my life going to mlp wikia, looking at Maud's info on the side bar and checked her eye color. It says light turquoise but that's not good enough. Pressing said eye color gave me a hex code, I used that hex code and googled "name that color" and with the first link there i entered the hex code, and it told me Bermuda.
Totally feel free to ignore this. I like celadon better anyway.
Because nothing bad ever happens when you join a revolution on a different planet.
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I prefer calling it celadon since it seems closer to me. Bermuda's mom ghey and in a love triangle with methane gas and aeronautical/nautical vessels.
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When you feel like you're untouchable, bad decisions seem like good ones. Gauche is a little full of himself.
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The nearing is going to be strong with this story. Twilight can't teleport more than a few miles, and Discord's strength is going to be limited due to his own newfound morals. Few creatures will be as strong as the ones I have written in so far, and there are certain flaws that I don't think have been seen in the posted chapters. Gauche's instinct can't always save him, Maud is only fast for an Earth Pony, and there's a few characters that'll show up who'll fuck shit up real nice for the world
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Spicy!
Another BTW for future reference:
Harry Potter septilogy is almost exactly 1kk words long and only last 3 books actually worthy from my point of view. That is around 600k words. Absolutely amazing fanfiction "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality" (which cover the entire story and I highly recommend reading even if you skipped the original) is roughly the same as these 3 (~650k words) and at least ten times better (I'm dead serious here). So, if you ever feel that your arc comes close to this number and you haven't finished with it yet then it's time to plan how to do so in the right way before you hit the size of that particular septilogy and temporary shove irrelevant stuff somewhere for storage and use in the following arcs. :]
After all the only reason why global arcs like Discord's game in the Diaries of a Madman survive for so long is that they never actually progress in the first place. Take One Piece as for an example. Luffy with his crew is on a journey to find mysterious "One Piece" thingamajig, but they not supposed to find it or pretty much anything about it since if they find it that would be the end of a journey. The journey will only end when the author get bored with One Piece world and characters in the first place and just throw that oojamaflip at them.
LTP check:
Should be hyphened:
* well made;
* well deserved;
* five finger.
Not sure which dictionary to use, so I used British one this time and following words were in American English:
* endeavour;
* colour;
* colouration;
* jewellers;
* armoury;
* honour.
Other stuff:
* "Wotcher, Bruv." — "Bruv" should be lowercase here.
* "You’re seeming like a valuable addition to Bite-Back" — should be "You seems like" here. Progressive tense is used to describe some action or process while it is, were or will be in progress and that is not the case here.
* "and we can make it worth your while if your stick around"- should be just "you".
* "I’m not sure, but we kind of felt like islands in an archipelago. It was a quality archipelago time." — since "a time".
* "I’d only gotten a couple hours" - depends on the dialect. According to LTP and Oxford Dictionary not used in British English, but actively used in American English. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/gotten
* "but sadly he’d decided to try and become a Ranger again" – "he had decided" might imply that decision might not be the same anymore, "had" is not necessary here. Also, I'd like to remind that "try and" implies "try to do something and then do something" instead of just "try to do something". Example: "It’s better to try and regret than not try at all." Looks fine here, though.
* "To know whether or not you were going to bullshit me, and to figure out which side of the law your on." — "Whether" itself implies probability, so "or not" is a bit redundant, but still perfectly fine there. "Your", though, should be "you'r".
* "Is that a challenge I’m hearing?" - unnecessary progressive tense again. Should be "Is that a challenge I hear?"
* “I fill whatever role I need to, I just prefer not to get my hands bloody. The only thing that blood gets you is more blood in the end.” - I'd say something like "I fill whatever role I need, but I prefer to leave hands clean. Blood only leads to blood and blood will have it." It implies that blood seeks revenge and leads to more blood. Also, "blood will have blood" is a reference to Macbeth.
* "every Cell,Leader a Division Head" - "Cell Leader".
* "Can’t wait til ya die" - there should be apostrophe before "til": "Can't wait 'til ya die".
* "We’ve got a lot in our heart and little of it’s love or compassion for the establishment." - in this particular case "it is" sounds better than short form. Also, I think "heart" should be in a plural form.
* "Anyway, we’re taking you to meet our admissions guy, Division Head Kerrick, so he can decide whether or not we’re keeping you." - once again "we keep you", I'd write it as "so he can decide whether we keep you or not."
* "The wall of people parted and let us through to a door that Maud pushed open, not faltering so→as much as a step as she lead→led me away from the unit I’d come with." — "as much as" is an idiom, "as she lead" - "as" here could be omitted (but is fine too) and "lead" should be in the past tense here. Well, at least it feels better like this to me.
* "Ah, so you’re a cut above then→them?"
* "So how many Underbosses are there exactly,?" - remove extra comma in the end.
* "They are the singularly most hated race on the face of the planet due to their tendencies to lean toward Blood, Dark, and Black Magicks." – "magic" in a list like this doesn't require a plural form. Also, as I understand first "The" should be "They". Also, "towards" is more commonly used than "toward". Not sure why either form is used and which one is better here, though.
* recieve → receive.
* "Thus Selective Inter-Breeding" - missing comma after "thus".
* "Not all of the possible pairings are looked upon" - "of" is not needed here and "possible" might be omitted too.
* "Were you trying to huff? It comes off as pretty disingenuine." → "It came off pretty disingenuous."
these fucking nods to rangers apprentice is making me a very happy human being.
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I'm just glad that someone's catching them. I loved Ranger's Apprentice in my youth, and I never really lost the love for the story. I'll have to see if I can buy the collection via ebook or something so I can have it during the long nights at work.
So I guess only Kaid feels he can love Twilight and nobody else since he snapped that love interest pretty quickly
Stray comma.