Spark Shift
Joined 7th Apr, 2015 ·
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I left a dislike and I'll explain why later.
8826805
No need. Considering of what I've seen of you in other Displaced fic comment sections and how well known you are around the Displaced group, I think the author probably has a general idea of what you meant.
Interesting Story So Far.
I'll Keep My Eye Out For More Chapters To Come.
Or
Which Is It?
8826917
Pfft, I don't take orders anymore, least of all from some sleeslaw on the internet.
Now, the story.
>Instead, I try to stand up, which is a bad idea because my right arm and right leg are broken
A random kid taking a beatdown (cliche beatdown, at that) somehow having what it takes to stand up with two broken limbs and deliver a dramatic one-liner before "getting uppercut and flying a few feet back"? That's just one example ("having the instincts to unbuckle myself and climb out" of a crash that hit hard enough to kill) of just...I don't know what to say at this point. Between that, the grammar errors, Show, Don't Tell being ignored, the Sueish background, and the stilted dialogue, I had to leave a dislike.
8826973
Yep, I predicted exactly what you'll say. First, harsh but good criticize, and then you proceed into placing the story into negative groups. I can see why JustSomeOtherPony has blind hatred for you. Have a nice day, Hamster.
Shit like this is why people will always make jokes about suicide.
8826989
Umm, alright, let me get this straight. You're admitting that what I posted wasn't false and that I added the story to "negative" groups, but...? If you can honestly tell me that criteria hasn't been met and why, I'm more than willing to admit to being wrong.
As for the second part of your response, I don't know who that is, or why a random voice on the Internet would inspire, what was it? "Blind hatred"?
If I know anything about anything, it's that having an amputation and getting your shit pushed in for nine years will do jack shit for your body except make it worse than it already is.
i.imgur.com/AlaNPeF.gif
Why is every character on Fimfic a swordsman? Why is always a sword and nothing else? Also I have a feeling that this guy is going to be good at all if this stuff so all the fight scene are going to be very one sided, because someone coming close or even losing a fight is boring, right?
unrelated GIF of a balanced and exciting fight
i.imgur.com/QWsRDi2.gif
8827097
To be fair, I stole that for a caption.
8827154
What do you mean?
Sorry if what you said is the most simple thing ever, and I just don't know how to process words and thoughts right now.
8827166
Most people are using Shuaiby as a reaction gif, when a jpeg with caption would do. I'd like to go a year without replacing my facebook profile. The Zucc doesn't like me much.
8826929
It's supposed to be 100,000 in the short description. It was a typo, I promise.
8826973
I just wanted to let you know that everything so far has come from a dream of mine that I had from a few weeks ago. The dream was about how an alternate version of me had grown up without friends, and people used and abused him because he was a wimp. He could never make friends, and his father is out of the picture. I also would like to point out (while your criticism is partly true), this character is basically part of a reality that abides by anime and partially cartoon logic. Everything that I've written is how it's supposed to be, and if there are grammar mistakes, then I encourage you to point them out, instead of just saying that there are some.
I appreciate your criticism, but I don't think it's right to leave a comment like this without telling me what errors that I've made. All stories are run by cliche, and this story is no exception.
Anyways, have a nice day!
8827153
I like swords.
8828292
Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling that you probably like fantasy swords more than you do real European ones.
8828285
If I know anything about anime with swords and magic in them, it's that the main character basically has a canoe paddle as a sword and all the females are ether background characters or they all love the main character, and none of them are able to do anything without the help of the main character.
8828315
You have made my day. 😄 I do like fantasy swords better, but I am part of a fencing club.
I've started on the next chapter, and should be done in a few weeks.
8828285
It's not criticism, but the criteria that generally pulls a dislike out of me. As for the character...why would you decide to go the Sue route? Not trying to be a dick, but self-inserts are generally seen as a red flag and that's before backgrounds like this are thrown into the mix. As for the bad grammar, get an editor and tell them to specifically point them out (the first half alone).
8828417
I don't even know what the 'Sue Route' is. All I'm doing is putting my dream from a few weeks ago into writing.
8829395
I assume you haven't put this "character" through a Mary Sue litmus test? They're one Google search away.
8830085
I put it through a test, and he's pretty tame, you know, considering it's supposed to be me.
Yo, are you still working on this story?
9921160
Yes. I recently made a blog post about it.
8830085
After all these years I now understand, and I am going through revisions on this story.
9921160
2023.
Yes most definitely. Making some blog posts currently. I don't know if you'd still be interested, but I just wanted to give you an update, after all these years.
Nice update!