Celestia the Expression
Written by PixelMoon
(Warning, craziness ahead!)
~X~X~X~
Princess Celestia sat next to her fireplace as she basked in the sound of silence that she rarely received. A slice of cake sat next to her, along with a teacup filled to the brim with green tea.
She sighed in relief, her horn emitting a soft yellow glow. The teacup held the same aura and with ease it was swiftly levitated into the air. The cup reached Celestia's soft lips as she tilted it forward to take a sip.
"IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA!"
The cup fell out of the grasp of levitation as a shrill voice reached Celestia's ears. Taken by surprise, the princess screeched softly as her tea spilt onto her body.
The door burst open as two guards adorned with golden armor dove in, spears readied. They scanned the room, but when they found nothing, their stares turned to Celestia.
She stared calmly back at the guards, ignoring the spilled tea. She coughed softly, Celestia's stare not once deceiving.
"Princess Celestia, are you alright?"
She nodded and levitated the teacup off of her. The guards took the hint and trotted to help clean up, only to get stopped by a hoof.
"No," Celestia stated. "Let the maids attend to it while I clean myself off."
The guards nodded, saluted, and left with the sound of the door closing. Celestia trotted to her bathroom and quickly washed herself.
When she returned from the quick shower, the maids were attending to the stain the tea had left. As Celestia walked towards them, the two mares bowed.
"Rise, my faithful subjects," Celestia commanded as the two did what they were told. "Now, can either of you two tell me who screamed like my sister when she is drunk and what they screamed?"
The mares glanced at each other before one trotted to Celestia and spoke. "I believe it was your sister, Princess Luna, your highness."
"Hm," she commented. "What did she say?"
The maid's face filled with nervousness. "I... um... I think she said in the name of Celestia."
Celestia's stared at her. Surprise was written all over her face as she spoke once more. "In the name of me? Now why in all of Equus would she say that?"
"Well, your name is kinda something ponies refer to."
Celestia rose an eyebrow. "My name is an expression that ponies say? Why ever would they say that? That must be the... the stupidest statement of the century!"
The maid backed away and returned to cleaning. She shuddered with fear and laughter as Celestia began to enrage.
The door slammed shut as the princess walked out of her room, presumably to find her sister. While Celestia trotted along, she carefully eavesdropped on every pony's conversations around her. None perked any interest until she suddenly came across a pony with a horn and wings.
Without the mare noticing, Celestia carefully trotted over to the alicorn. She appeared to be talking to nopony until Celestia heard the words she spoke.
"Oh Smarty-pants! Why in all of Equestria tell you that secret? Only Celestia knows what it is!"
Celestia's ear twitched. Only she knew? What did she possibly know that this Smarty-pants wanted to know? She needed to know!
The alicorn yelped with surprise as a loud bang and blast of golden magic appeared next to her. A raging Celestia appeared from the teleport, a not so innocent smile on her face.
"Hello Twilight!" Celestia greeted. Twilight's eyes, whom was clutching a grey stuffed pony in her hooves, widened.
"Princess Celestia! What the hay are you doing here?"
"This is my castle, Twilight." Celestia rose an eyebrow as her normal seriousness struck her face, but it immediately disappeared. "Now, tell me what only I know..."
Twilight held Smarty-pants closer to her body. "What do you mean?"
Celestia's eye twitched again as she rolled her eyes. "Twilight Sparkle. You literally just said, 'Ee he he! Only Celestia knows my secret, Smarty-pants!'
Twilight blushed. "That's not exactly what I said! I didn't giggle like an idiot in a fake girly voice!"
"GET ON WITH IT."
She sighed. "Sweet Celestia... What I said was an expression. Don't you hear it so the time?"
Celestia pointed a hoof accusingly at Twilight, ignoring her question. "There! You said it again!"
"Said what?!"
"My stinking name! Mother of Faust, Twilight, don't you understand?!"
Twilight stepped back. "Faust? Who the hay is Faust?"
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Faust is my mother, duh. Now why do you keep saying my name?"
"Oh my Celestia!" Celestia shot her a dirty look. "You are an expression! Do you understand?!"
Suddenly Luna came bursting through the doors, her eyes closed. "Snort," she breathed.
Celestia stared at her sister as she continued to snore. Suddenly Luna woke up and yelled again. "Oh my Celestia! Sister, please stop terrorizing Twilight Sparkle!"
Luna snorted again and fell asleep. Celestia and Twilight stared at the moon princess for a minute before continuing.
"Okay... Where were we?"
"I think I was at the part where I freak out about my name being used as an expression," Celestia replied.
"Oh right. Ahem, well, we say your name because you rule Equestria and of that."
"What about Luna? She rules too," Celestia stated.
"The saying of your name started to happen a long time before Princess Luna returned."
"Oh."
They sat in silence as Twilight brushed Smarty-pants's mane. Celestia suddenly spoke up.
"What's the secret only I know about?"
Twilight stared at Celestia for a long time, a deadpan stare on both ponies.
"Sweet Celestia..."
"Sweet Twilight Sparkle..."
Twilight stared at Princess Celestia. "Really?"
"You say my name so I will say yours."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Touche. But you will be the only one. Literally everypony says Sweet Celestia."
Celestia thought about this and suddenly came up with an idea. She grabbed Luna and screamed in her ear.
"SWEET TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
"... Um... Okay... That works too, I suppose."
The End.|
just wait till she finds out pony scream her name during sex
Wait until a dragon and a griffin are in a barrel making love.
Oh my Celestia
For Celestia's sake
I swear to Celestia
Oh Celestiadamnit
Anymore?
8762633
By celestia's beard!
Celestia on a uni-bi-tri-cycle!
as Celestia is my witness...
oh for Celestia's sake. thats all i got.
8762681
Oh my Celestia same here
By Everloving celestia, I see what you did there.
8762759
Allow me a prayer to Celestia's nostril hairs.
Good Celestia this was funny.
Loved it!
For Celestia's sake, make more!!!
This is going in my faves ^_^
I say
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mother of celestia, this was funny!
Celestia’s flaming tits this was funny as hell
I am reminded of Monty Python for some reason
Celestia-Bucking-Dammit. This was actually really funny.
Damn, now I really want to hear someone shouting "By Celestia's beard" in her presence and then observe her (and everyone else's) reaction.
Why do I see the princesses all levitating scripts in front of them during this story?
8762543
If you read Fallout:Equestria, you'll find that reaction
8763166
Heh! Wait until she reads that story
"AAAHHHHH!!!!!"
That is kinda canon:
8762724
Woah, so much expressions
Holy Celestia... I almost died laughing....
Sweet Keira.
hi this was halarious epecially since we read it together with all your goofy voices
8798090
Lol why Keira.
8798091
hehe
By Celestia's beard, that was odd.
LUNA LUSCIOUS LOVE-HANDLES! this is a funny story