My main issues is I hated the moral of that episode. Applejack was right to want those bats gone. There is no guarantee that the bats will stay on that one orchard. But love this concept.
8786541 You know actual vampire lore, states they can act very lustful when they want blood, so I wanted to show a tad bit of that with Flutterbat, while keeping it tame for the most part. The real fun comes later.
It seems pretty good and gripping, a few grammatical errors and misspellings are present, but it's good nonetheless. As soon as I read the second chapter I could help edit them out if you'd like
Is this 1st person or 3rd person I really can't tell
8784554
It's third-person limited by the looks of it, but the narration is choppy and makes the perspective difficult to grasp.
My main issues is I hated the moral of that episode. Applejack was right to want those bats gone. There is no guarantee that the bats will stay on that one orchard. But love this concept.
8784554
3rd person. Sorry for confusing you.
She's not Fluttershy or FlutterBat she's Fluttercubus!!!!
8786541
You know actual vampire lore, states they can act very lustful when they want blood, so I wanted to show a tad bit of that with Flutterbat, while keeping it tame for the most part. The real fun comes later.
It seems pretty good and gripping, a few grammatical errors and misspellings are present, but it's good nonetheless. As soon as I read the second chapter I could help edit them out if you'd like