• Member Since 29th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 20th, 2022

Flurshy


Comments ( 14 )

Welp, my first experiment in the genre of SAD. Don't go easy on me just for that, though! I wish to improve, and understand that this fic is crap. I was going to have a cover pic, but I made some mistakes and pissed off the artist. If anyone can draw a cover for me, it'd be greatly appreciated!

I believe I got the rating right, it might need to be Mature instead, for language. I'm unsure.

Very sad indeed. So in the end, it looks like he'll burning, huh? :applejackunsure:

954337
She* and don't spoil the endiiiing!

Generally speaking, I consider the comments spoiler zones. Venture here at your own risk ^^ Anyway, I thought the style of writing was interesting, I enjoyed the first half where there was a sense of mystique as to what had happened. I find it a bit hard to sympathise with the protagonist, though. Sure, her life story was very sad... but she did deserve what she got. Still, very good for your first sad ^^

Poor pony, but she should not have murdered.:trollestia:

for some reason this type of stories does not make me sad :twilightoops: looks like life have hardened me :rainbowdetermined2:

it was really wel written. there is only one thing i would sugest: the things you wrote in cursive, use a different collour instead. like dark grey. it wil make it a bit simpler to read. :pinkiehappy:

you truly earn your thumb ratio.

4 spikes on the way :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

957820
I appreciate your advice, but coloration is generally frowned upon in fiction. Italicized text is much more... streamlined, less jarring. It lets you stay in the narrative. Besides that, not everyone uses black text on a white background, so coloration is often hard to even see.

EDIT: Also, please use proper English, even in your comments. People are quick to judge for lax lingual practices.

957830

that one was fast. my problem is that i can't stand reading in italica.

here is an example for you to see aproximately what i sugested.
here is an excample for you to see aproximately what i sugested

OOPS. sorry about the grammar., i'll fix it. it seems like a combination of a bad keyboard, and lacking knowledge of the gramathical rules in the english language :twilightangry2:

957858
I can barely see that. It's preferred to use italics over coloration, nonetheless, so while I have to acknowledge your suggestion, I'm not changing the formatting.

957861 And that ability makes you a better writer. You listen to the masses and use the ideas YOU want to use, not the ideas THEY want you to use :twilightsmile:

one last thing from me. "good luck with the writing" :pinkiehappy:

957967
Celestia's sake, please properly capitalize your comments. Every line, not just some.
Also, thanks. :twilightsheepish:

WWOOOOOWW.
ShyShy that was great! You know me, I can't deal with the SAD or even the DARK tag most of the time, so I was unsure when I started.
But WOW, that was just plain, good writing right there. :pinkiegasp:
:pinkiesad2::pinkiecrazy:

Hmmm... that story ID. You got so close to 40k.

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