'It tastes like lima,' was the first coherent thought in Celestia's mind as her eyes shot open to the magical rejuvenation of the Senzu bean that mashed between her teeth.
In mere seconds, the crippling pain left her body as the rejuvenated Alicorn sat up. With a small pop, she reassessed the injuries she was certain included a shattered spine, mangled wings, and completely dislocated foreleg. Even the burns from the explosion were gone.
“Intriguing,” she muttered, turning her head towards her groaning sister as Fizzlepop likewise was assisting the princess of the night in chewing.
A loud pair of crashes and a burst of dirt signaled the arrival of both Twilight and Cadance as they smashed through the crater-rim head first. Both groaned in barely conscious pain.
“Ugh...” Luna shook her injuries off as the Senzu she consumed did its work. “Brutality. Thy name is a woodwind instrument. Cadenza, Sparkle, art thou conscious? Or perhaps alive?”
“Hubeu...” Twilight managed to groan. Fizzle turned to them, wincing at their injuries before stepping forward.
“Here, I've got this,” she sighed, shaking her head before stuffing a bean in Twilight's mouth. “I kind of thought he was joking with the 'one of you might die' part. But after seeing what he just did...”
“In our brief dialog with him,” Luna shook out her wings, frowning that the regeneration didn't come with a free auto-preen. “He spoke about not hiding his energy.”
Celestia glanced at her sister.
“Hiding his energy?” she asked. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything,” Piccolo alighted amongst them. Both Celestia and Luna flinched. Twilight and Cadance, still coming around, barely reacted. Piccolo gave the group a casual eye before he continued.
“Your regular senses are slow and easy to fool,” he stated academically. “You can't avoid my attacks so long as you're reacting off your eyes and ears. Homing in on my energy will give you better warning.”
“Even attacks from our blind spots?” Luna asked.
“ESPECIALLY attacks from your blind spots,” Piccolo rumbled. “Once you can sense my intent, you should be able to keep pace with the action. If only a little.”
Celestia spoke up.
“And just how might we go about sensing this energy?” she asked. Piccolo raised a brow-plate.
“You're like, a million years old-”
Celestia pulled her head back in shocked offense.
“-you haven't figured something that basic out?”
For a moment, the changeling suddenly let his eyes drift off to the side. Then he grunted in annoyance.
“I don't CARE if it was uncalled for, Kami. She's older than YOU.”
More silence.
“No, they'll figure it out on their own! They're BIG magical talking pastel horses, Nail! They'll take their licks and learn like ADULTS!”
During another round of seeming silent comment, the princesses gave each other a fresh round of worried glances. Luna rolled her eyes, twirling a hoof around her ear while making a goofy face. Then suddenly, Piccolo's eyes snapped back to them with an irritated grunt.
“Yeah, I have to deal with something real quick. Take thirty and think about how to sense my energy. We'll recommence then.”
Then he shot into the sky, yelling at the air.
“I don't CARE if they're cute and cuddly! Cute and cuddly doesn't stop an angry Saiyan's fist!”
They all stared as he departed, eyes trailing him as he cleared the highest tower and disappeared as his cape blended in with the snows of Mount Canter. Cadance was the first to lower her eyes, brow line furrowed in concentration.
“I worry about him,” Twilight commented as her own head followed. “We haven't known him for ten minutes but...”
Celestia held up a hoof.
“Do not worry about it,” she advised. “His eccentricities are not our concern.”
“Sister,” Luna interrupted. “I have eccentricities. But even at my most mad, I was of one mind, be it one that was filled with jealous rage.”
“Still,” Twilight cut back in. “About that energy sense. I think it would be a good idea to figure it out.”
“But how, fair Sparkle?” Luna asked. “He didn't give us any clues to it.”
“But he did,” Celestia interjected. Luna cast an inquiring gaze upon her sister.
“Pray tell?”
“He spoke as if it were simple enough that a child could understand it,” the elder princess pointed out. “The act must be surprisingly simple, perhaps even as simple as summoning our magic.”
“If it were THAT simple,” Luna frowned. “Shouldn't we have it figured out by now?”
Celestia shook her head.
“Sometimes even the most simple solutions can pass one by,” she spoke sagely. “It is a common trait of learning to miss a detail that would make things simple if another, more prominent detail is presented first.”
Celestia turned a motherly smile on Twilight.
“Isn't that right, my former student?”
Twilight nodded sheepishly, remembering a few occasions where the 'simple' solution came in late. Not entirely satisfied, Luna turned to Cadance.
“And what do you th-”
She paused, noting the alicorn of love hunched forward, her eyes closed with a look of concentration on her face. After a moment, she spoke.
“I think...” she began. “I think... I think I've got it.”
“Thou has?!” Luna exclaimed in excitement. “Do tell!”
Cadance furrowed her brow harder, her ears twitching ever so slightly.
“It's...” She began. “It's like a tingle. It feels like the tingle before a storm. It prickles at your fur somewhere between the sense of touch and warmth... Piccolo is like. He's like a small sun, above us. Getting warmer... Brighter... more electr-”
Cadance's eyes snapped open, pupils small as pinpricks.
“DODGE!” She shouted, taking flight.
Luna bolted out of the crater, Celestia going the opposite direction.
“What?!” Twilight gasped, looking back and forth at the two and then up where Cadance went.
The blazing ball of doom was not what she expected.
“GAH!!!”
“AHAH!” Piccolo boomed from above. “Somebody's starting to get it! The rest of you need work.”
Rolling to a painful stop, Twilight coughed up some dust, turning to glare at the changeling.
“You gave us thirty minutes!” she shouted. “What the hay!”
“Seconds,” Piccolo corrected. “I gave you thirty seconds.”
Then he paused, looking to the side.
“I know I only said 'thirty', Nail. Why in the world would anyone assume it was half an hour of down time after two minutes of ass-beating?”
“Twilight!” Cadance shouted, looping high and diving for the dirt. “You're holding STILL!!!!”
Twilight blinked, glancing at her sister-in-law, then back at Piccolo, who was no longer there.
“She's right you know,” his voice all but spoke into her ear. On a panicked reflex, Twilight struck out with her hind legs, trying to smash the object of her terror.
“Ole'!” Piccolo swept his cape clear as he round-housed Twilight across the field. A guard near the back wall dove for the ground as she smashed a hole into it.
“I'm okeh!” she shouted.
With a burst of dust, Piccolo left his previous strike, lancing upward. Cadance's eyes widened as she felt the force coming. In a desperate move, she flapped her wings to contort herself out of the way.
“Good!” Piccolo's hoof just barely grazed a feather. “There may be hope for you after all!”
Cadance grit her teeth, trying to flow from one motion into another as she felt the power surge in a different direction. Piccolo's rear leg just barely missed taking her horn off, and yet another burst of power signaled the changeling rolling from one miss into another strike of opportunity.
Cadance held onto that feeling for everything it was worth, flapping and twisting like an airborne ballerina as whistling cracks exploded in her ears. This sequence went on for six or seven iterations before she suddenly realized she was running out of angular momentum. The next surge wouldn't miss, and in a move of desperation, she shoved her forelegs in front of the blow and flashed up a shield.
“NOW WE'RE TALKING!” Piccolo yelled, smashing the shield hard enough to shatter it without slowing down and hammered right into the block. Cadance exploded backwards, but felt where she was going, flexing her body so as to place her hooves below. She hit the ground with a thunderclap but managed to remain standing as furrows dug themselves around her hooves.
After a few seconds to let the sensation of stone-shattering numbness leave her hooves, the pink princess gaped up at the changeling, eyes wide and breathing hard.
“Better,” Piccolo shouted. “Dodge when you can; deflect what you can't; block only if you must. Take a breather while I go crack a few other skulls.”
And then he exploded in a new direction.
Celestia and Luna, who'd halted as they watched the exchange that Cadance had just participated in, cast glances at each other at the difference this 'energy sense' made. It was of course, obvious that Piccolo wasn't striking at anywhere near his full speed, but it was none-the-less impressive to see the warnings Cadance was internally reacting to in action.
“We must master this quickly!” Luna snapped, immediately trying to pick up that touchy-warmy-lightning...y sensation her niece spoke of. With little to work with, she only picked up a sensation more akin to an imminent lightning strike. It wasn't much to go on, but Luna seized it none-the-less, yelping and diving as Piccolo slammed into the ground next to her and smashed his hoof into the spot she'd just vacated. She couldn't pick anything out of the continuous flow of raw power, only seeing the changeling begin rapidly stomping forward like a locomotive.
Lacking any logical options, Luna started throwing herself along in a continuous roll, momentum saving her from smash after smash. There was no time to pick anything out. The sensation was everywhere.
Suddenly it wasn't.
It was behind her and her next roll hesitated.
A moment later, the princess of the night was punted, though the blow seemed to have nicked her in the side rather than buried itself deep into her organs.
“By the tides,” she blinked in shock even as she slammed into her sister like a bowling ball.
Shaking off the collision, Luna glanced down at her sputtering sister.
“Why didn't thou dodge?” she asked. Celestia only glared back, perturbed at the lack of appreciation for catching her younger sister's wayward flight.
Then Luna's head shot up, the prickling on her spine rapidly approaching lightning strike.
“FLEE!” She bolted forward, clearing her sister's field of view to reveal a series of arching energy rounds homing in on her position.
Full panic took over and the day princess rolled onto her belly, hooves scrabbling in the churned up soil for any kind of purchase. A few false-start kicks and she managed pull forward. And not a second too soon.
The spot behind her exploded, then a spot next to her exploded, and pretty soon Celestia was desperately sprinting through a veritable mine field of incoming energy bombs. They felt like tiny suns, each vying for her attention to make them set. Jinking as one sun all but singed her mane, the princess put on a burst of speed, transitioning from a sprint to a full gallop, something she hadn't done in centuries.
Nearby, Piccolo continued to launch blasts into the sky, raining a hailstorm of death at the galloping princess.
“That's right!” he shouted. “Dodge! Dodge, dodge, DODGE! Don't stop! Don't wait! Move your cake-eating ass and get some cardio in! And don't think for a second I can't figure out who eats the cake in this group! I saw the fat jiggle the moment I hit you the first time! It may be spread out to hide it, but I know a lack of muscle tone when I see it!”
The explosions continued to erupt around Celestia, clouds of dust and dirt peppering her from every direction. If the muck had been shiny, it might have been a sight to behold.
Unfortunately, it was composed mostly of dirt, rocks, and grass clippings; not ice, water, or gemstones. And pretty soon Princess Celestia, regent of the sun and custodian of the day, looked more like a professional hoofball player than the leader of a nation.
Another jink to the side and Celly began to get her wits about her. Her wings opened, flapped, and she took off like a shot.
Unfortunately, she neglected to account that the energy bombs were coming in from above.
'BOOM!'
“C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!” Piccolo shouted.
Princess Celestia pulled herself out of a fresh crater, spitting out a rock.
In the back of the field, Twilight slowly stumbled out of the hole in the wall, shaking off another probable concussion.
“Okay,” she gasped, steadying herself on the guard standing there. “You can do this Twilight. Just pick out his... energy from background. No problem. If I'm guessing this right, it's probably a trans-exothaumic reaction. Those are simple to sense, right? Normally nopony bothers with those because exothaumic reactions might was well be background radiation... right?”
The purple princess glanced at the guard she was learning on. He blinked mutely and shifted a hoof back.
“Right,” she stumbled away from the guard's personal space. “Sorry.”
Then she stumbled back onto the field, muttering as she went.
“So if the trans-exothaumic reaction can be felt as a... tingling sensation somewhere between touch and heat, then it means that it's emitting electromagnetic radiation that is somehow triggering nerve endings in the body! And if that's the case, then that prickling sensation I'm feeling that's blooming into a wall of fire is-”
Twilight's eyes shot up about the same time the blast collided with her face. The guard behind her cringed.
“DODGE! NERD!”
Well, this is very impressive. And I like that Cadence is becoming the more high-speed-combat oriented of the Princesses. This is definitely going to be fun.
8719883
Cadance is a babysitter and soon to be mother of an adorable abomination of nature. She needs those reflexes.
welp rip Twilight
miss 'I have 0 Fighting Instincts' is not gonna have a fun time with this
Well. Piccolo referenced Killer Instinct. Fitting.
People talk of Trollestia. Why does no one talk of Trolluna?
8719887
...I now want to see Piccolo vs Flurry Heart. I can just see it.
Piccolo: Okay, I know I agreed to train the Princesses, but she's just a-
Flurry Heart sneezes. Piccolo barely dodges the magical discharge.
Piccolo: ... ... *turns to Cadence* Your kid?
Cadence: That she is.
Piccolo: I see why you mastered dodging before the rest of them. Well, alright then. DODGE!
Massive energy blast flies at Flurry Heart...only to freeze in an aura of her magic as she giggles happily before sending it flying back at Piccolo, who dodges.
Piccolo: Okay...seems she's pretty advanced-SHE'S EATING MY ANTENNAE GET HER OFF!
Flurry: *giggle* Nom nom nom!
Edit: Also, not soon to be. Starlight was in the background of the movie, so it has to take place after she joins the cast, and Flurry Heart happens almost immediately after that.
Meanwhile, Gohan is thinking that someone was using him for a reference somehow.
Loving the story so far, they should feel lucky it’s not Mr. Popo “helping” them.
A thought occurred to me if Kami and Nail are separate entities from Piccolo then would that mean if he used the Multi Form Technique would he be able to give them temporary bodies? Might be something to think about if you want to give the Princesses’ some one-on-one training.
I'll be straight-up honest: Out of all the Princesses, Cadance always struck me as the most competent. I don't know why.
K I have to ask. Is this normal piccolo? Or TFS piccolo?
If that angry Saiyan is Vegeta, then being cute and cuddly will prompt a lot more then an angry fist.
8719919
TFS.
Pinkie already uses Piccolo sense, even when he is shielding it?
but this is about pretty pinky pony princesses, than painfully pink party planning pony.
8719915
Probably because she has yet to have any screen time where she royally screws up.
Excellent story. Loving the direction things are going (every angle of hitting the fan).
Wonder how the rest of the TFS crew would react to pony land. Vegeta probably would have an aneurysm from it all.
Goku.. well, I can see him either being super friendly or trying to devour everything in sight. Maybe both until someone filled him in that most of the animals are sapient.
Yamcha would be the new statue in Discord's old space. Within thirty seconds to five minutes tops.
I'd have liked it better if energy sense wasn't a thing in Equestria and asshole had to figure out a different way to teach
I'm starting to want to see Piccolo get taken down a peg or two. Perhaps Discord showing up and screwing with him so that when he tries to throw energy blasts, they come out of his toes.
8719906
Alright, we have progress.
Well this was a great chapter. Also Luna didn't increase her owned count so she is learning.
8719894
This has to happen. We must see it. Also want to see Thorax and his bro meet piccolo just for fun and changeling shenanigans
Shouldn't it be "deflect when you can't"?
Also exploded? I did not knew you could use it like that.
8720067
Like learning Changelings have a rudimentary hive mind and thus can communicate telepathically, leading to Thorax telling the Princesses, "He's not crazy and it's not Dissociative Identity Disorder. He's got two other of whatever he actually is-"
Nail: Namekians.
Thorax: Right, Namekians in his head.
Kami: To be fair, Piccolo and I used to be the same person until I split us off-
Piccolo: No, that was Dad who was your other half.
Kami: The link's still there, though. Or it was until you absorbed me.
Pharynx: So how's that work exactly?
Nail: Well you see-
Piccolo: DODGE!
I note two things in this chapter.
First, Twilight is definitely getting the worst of it, so far. This makes sense, really-- Celestia and Luna have a lot more life experience (albeit not, apparently, of the right kind) and Mi Amore Cadenza (A name i choose to use because I can't spell Cadance-- oh,damn) is married to a professional military pony. She's even got some combat experience-- as a missile.
Second, Twilight is beginning to figure things out. Who knows, she might surprise Piccolo yet. Gohan has, more than once...
8720018
He will adjust. He did see Goku do the Kamahama Wave with his feet in the past.
8720067
Calling it right now: Pharynx and Piccolo hit it off right away, starting with an agreement that everypony (everyling?) seriously needs to learn how to DODGE!
8719993
Here's the real question: what is the first manner in which Krillen gets owned?
8719993
Goku outright said that Oolong was one of his "emergency foods," so I doubt that would be an issue. The bigger issue is finding out as a pony he can't eat meat at all.
8720135
I would get a good laugh if he actually stayed the same out of all of them.
On that note, would he turn into a pony or an ape? Saiyans and all that. Piccolo turned into a changeling.
Oolong and Korin for that matter. Blasted magic mirror is more like a magic eight ball.
I almost pity the next dumbass to try and attack Equestria after ole Piccalo has the Princesses trained up to HIS standards heh
Do you mind if I post a link to this in the TFS discord? (we're not supposed to post art without the artist's permission)
Dodge, nerd! Get out the way!
......part of me somewhat hopes to see Twilight's friends get involved in Namekian Dodgeball......I will regret as soon as Flutters takes a ki blast.
8720250
Heh, have fun.
Oooh man, this has got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a long while.
Good show!
8720265
You do realize she wrestles bears right?
Also I envision this happening instead:
Fluttershy uses the stare on Piccolo.
Piccolo: "C-Can't move, staring at my soul"
Kami: "Oh dear, this is a most surprising technique"
Nail: "If she wasn't such a sweet innocent butterfly she could probably kill people with that"
Kami: "Although it's likely that only the truly innocent could summon this power"
Rainbow Dash: "Dodge THIS creep!" *rainboom*
8720323
What's a sapient brown bear to a Super Namekian that blows moons to dust?
8720323
More a massage.....but yes, I remember that scene.
I’m really enjoying this so far. Though when I read it I get this image in my head of Gohan coming to help Piccolo train the princesses. Like he’s playing dodgeball with them and Piccolo’s just of to the side with his eyes leaking liquid pride.
8719883
Someone's channeling their inner pegasus there. Also, she probably has the least to UNlearn of the four.
Luna's second, and I think Celestia and Twilight have tied for third at this point.
I thought they tasted like fish?
Nice.
He has a point. Sixth senses are super useful.
They've never had to do anything like this, there's no reason to learn such a skill.
Oh he's perfectly sane. He's just got voices in his head. Oh my god, 2 voices in his head, one serious, one screwball, regeneration, snark, deadly, Piccolo is Deadpool.
Oh yeah, don't I know it.
He DID say take thirty.
Alright, progress!
He has a point, flat out blocking, tanking a hit, no matter how powerful you are, not a smart move.
HAH!
Celestia's gonna snap. There's a point where she's going to go "fuck it".
You're getting the theory, but sometimes, you need to not think and just act on instinct.
To be fair, she's not used to fighting at all, she's a scholar, not a sorceress.
Loved Twilight's 'oh shit' moment
By the way Luna doesn't speak like this any more, you're really laying it on thick with her when she'd gotten over talking like this years ago.
8720589
or Piccolo might have knocked that speech loose from that first attack.
Hate it when stories make magic and ki (or any similar exotic abilities) the same ability despite the vast differences between them.
Sorry but this is no longer worth reading.
8720604
Yeah if that's the case I might not read much more unless this author shapes up and makes some changes. Not that we have any right to demand, it's their story, but the point stands that this kind of thing is annoying.
You don't know how happy Cadance being the first to get it makes me. I've been saying for ages she's like, the pretty paladin princess of the group or something (I even wrote a whole story about it!)
8720324
Yeah, let's be fair, Piccolo is one of the most powerful fighters out there; I honestly can't name any other lot that are in the same sort of casual-planet destroying levels of the Z-Fighters (even the comedy versions). Superman with all his limits off, maybe.
I mean, you could put Krillen at the top of his game in Naruto or something and he'd dominate (well, in a straight fight anyway, genjutsu would be the best bet... Assuming they have the range to hit him while he was flying!) At the very least, I reckon he could go toe-to-toe with Naruto himself for a few rounds.
Yay, progress!
I wonder how well energy-sense works against Equestrian opponents. Probably well enough, if Piccolo's performance is anything to go by.
8720091
Brings a whole new meaning to "going ballistic", doesn't it?
8720604
8720621
Are you two even reading, when did it ever appear like magic? Also like another good chap as already told you, this is a joke story, pure comedy/parody. It is meant to be short and will probably end in one/two chapters, maybe more if he also wants to give the princesses' new "ability" a chance to shine in a "real" Equastria ending event.
8720077
Still want to see it happen in the story. Maybe as a bonus chapter after the princesses learn how to dodge. Idk. You do want you have to
I woke up and saw that this got a new chapter along with Taming Equestria a Digimon Tamers crossover and I got to say it made this one of the best mornings ever!
I love how Piccolo keeps talking to Kami and Nail and weirding out the princesses. I especially love it when he keeps talking about Celestia having a fat ass. Oh have him go and teach the rest of the Mane Six how to dodge, targeting Pinkie Pie first for the same reason only to be stunned at how she easily dodges him and wondering how the hell she managed to master Ultra Instinct and deciding whether or not he should tell Vegeta or Goku. Or have him ridicule the idea of UI, cause honestly I didn't find it all that impressive. Yeah the scene was bad ass as f*ck but I still found it to be kind of meh.
Oh and please have Piccolo stick around or be used in a sequel where he babysits or trains Flurry Heart and she ends up adoring him and they have a moment like this: