Part 4 (Meat and Greet)
Chaos and Laughter
By Charcoal Quill
Part 4
Time stood still as Rainbow Dash stared at Gilda and the draconequus whose company she was keeping. No... “Keeping company”? More than that! The two are obviously in cahoots.
But how could that be? Sure, Gilda had been mean the last time that Rainbow had seen her, but the pegasus would never in her wildest of dreams have imagined that her old friend was pure evil. Dash couldn’t wrap her head around it.
She didn’t know what to think... but she could feel. And she felt hurt. Betrayed. Angry.
Gilda was the first to make a move. She glanced first at Eris, and then back at Rainbow. “Yeah, hey, Dash,” she said, chuckling somewhat nervously. “I know what this looks like, but honestly –”
“Honestly?!” Dash spat. “Honestly?! Here I’d been hearing that you’ve changed, that you’ve gotten better since last time I saw you. I almost felt sorry for you! But now I find that you’re working with… with her!” She pointed at Eris. “Do you have any idea what Eris has done to Pinkie Pie?”
Eris cocked her head inquisitively.
“Eris?” echoed Gilda, looking back at the draconequus. “Cute. It suits her, I suppose.” She turned back to Rainbow. “But to answer your question, yeah, I know exactly what happened to Pinkie, although I doubt you really do.” She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Dash, you can be so featherbrained sometimes…”
“And what the hay do you mean by that, exactly?” Dash shot back. A split second later, however, something clicked…
Suddenly, the puzzle pieces fell into place... Gilda shouting in Pinkie’s face, expressing her undying hatred for all things pink party pony. The sudden disappearance of Pinkie, exactly when Eris appeared. The officer describing a different pony’s half-eaten corpse…
Dash’s eyes widened. “Sweet merciful Celestia, you... y-you ate her?! You actually ate Pinkie Pie!”
“What?” Gilda looked taken aback. “Of course not!”
Rainbow leapt forward. “Don’t give me that! Next you’re gonna say that pony in Farrington just ate herself, huh?”
Gilda lowered her eyes, but did not answer. Eris stared at the gryphon, puzzled.
“Well?” Dash demanded.
Gilda finally spoke. “Look, Dash. If you’d only listen–”
“No,” Rainbow interrupted. “You’ve already told me all I need to know! No more talking!”
“Dash…” Gilda pleaded.
“I HATE YOU!” Dash screamed. She couldn’t restrain herself any longer. She shot towards the gryphon with bloodlust in her eyes.
Eris’s eyes widened, then quickly narrowed. She snapped her fingers.
A flash of light, and all was darkness and noise. Rainbow had just enough time to register a white mare, mouth agape, before she crashed into her. The two tumbled off the stage and landed in a painful heap.
“Hey, I like enthusiasm in a mare, but this is a bit, um…” The voice trailed off.
Dash looked down to see the white mare, a unicorn with a wild mane and bright, magenta eyes, glancing around. “Oh no. My glasses!” she exclaimed, untangling herself from Rainbow. She searched the ground frantically.
Rainbow looked up to see that she had been teleported to some sort of nightclub. The room was illuminated by flashing strobelights and various neon fixtures. A massive crowd of ponies filled the dance floor, putting it to good use as they moved in time with the heavy beat of the music.
Said music was being blared from enormous speakers that flanked, atop the stage, a DJ’s booth - with nopony operating it. Dash quickly realized that meant that the DJ must be –
“A-ha! Found ‘em!” Triumphantly, the DJ stood up as she replaced a pair of purple shades.
“Oh, uh… sorry about that,” Dash said, climbing to her hooves.
“Eh, no biggie.” The unicorn shrugged, then peered closely at Rainbow. “Hey, you look familiar. Have we met before?”
Rainbow frowned thoughtfully. “I think so. Did you play at the Royal Wedding?”
The DJ nodded. “Yeah, that was me! Heh, that got pretty crazy, didn’t it?”
“Yeah. Crazy,” Dash echoed, looking away. “Anyway, where am I, exactly? Which city, I mean.”
“Wild night?” the unicorn replied, grinning. She lifted her shades just long enough to wink at Rainbow. “Yeah, I’ve been there before. You’re in Canterlot.” She started to climb back onto the stage. “Mind if I get back to DJing, now?”
Canterlot. That was fortunate, all things considered. If Gilda was working with Eris, then Dash needed to tell the others as soon as possible. “No, go ahead,” she replied, turning towards the nearest exit. “Thanks.”
“No problem!” the DJ called after her, grinning. “If you’re ever in the neighborhood, just feel free to drop in…” She chuckled. “...Again!”
---
Upon seeing Dash disappear, Gilda whirled around, snarling, to face Pinkie. “PINKS! What did you do to her?!”
Pinkie raidsed her mismatched arms defensively. “Hey, she’s okay! I don’t know where she is, but I just sent her to… uh... somewhere safe,” she finished lamely.
“Well, so long as she’s fine…” Gilda said tiredly. She slumped down. “…So long as she’s fine.” She turned away, muttering to herself. “Dash hates me, huh? Well, glad to get that out in the open. Now I don’t have those nagging hopes anymore...”
Pinkie stared at Gilda. She was clearly hurting. I’ve gotta cheer her up, Pinkie thought, and a party probably wouldn’t help in this case… What would Fluttershy do?
Pinkie edged over to Gilda. “There, there,” she said halfheartedly. She reached out a hand to give Gilda a reassuring pat, but then decided against it. Pinkie took a deep breath, then continued more enthusiastically. “I’m sure Dashie doesn’t really hate you! She’s just, um… confused.”
Gilda snorted. “Really? She seemed rather certain to me.”
“Well… Why should she hate you?” Pinkie said. “You didn’t really eat me! I mean, duh, I’m right here! And it’s not like you’re going to, right?”
“Damn straight,” Gilda promptly replied. “You eat so many cupcakes and other sweet things that you probably taste like the blasted stuff. I’ve never really had much of a sweet tooth, as it were.” She paused. “…Also, it’s been thousands of years since gryphons as a species have actually eaten ponies, anyway… not that it matters now, though.”
Pinkie stared at Gilda, confused. “What do you mean by that?”
“It doesn’t matter what the truth is,” Gilda said. “Dash still thinks I ate somepony.”
“But you didn’t!” Pinkie said. “We just need to get this sorted out. Then Dashie’ll know that you didn’t eat anypony!”
Gilda stared coldly at Pinkie. “Oh? How do you know who or what I have and haven’t eaten?”
Pinkie paled. “Gilda…? What… what are you… Huh?”
“Pinks, don’t you remember what Dash said, about that ‘other pony in Farrington’?” Gilda looked away. “Truth is… Dash may be right. I might’ve eaten her.”
“‘Might’ve’? How can you not know if something like that happened?” Pinkie asked.
Gilda sighed. “Think, Pinks. Remember how crazy things were when Discord was free?”
Pinkie shuddered. “…Oh, yeah.”
“Well, ‘Chaos Capital’ or not, Ponyville got off easy compared to Farrington.” Gilda sighed. “Pull up a... I dunno, a rock or something. This could take a while.”
---
Meanwhile, back at the palace grounds in Canterlot, Discord’s statue still stood. It is hard to say what, if anything, was going through the mind of the petrified Personification of Disharmony. One could try to talk to him, but one would get little respon–
Why, hello, there! My, my, it’s not very often that I receive visitors. I suppose I should be thankful, shouldn’t I? Well, I am glad for the little distraction… and the chance to hijack the narrative. Don’t worry, I’ll give it back soon, with your precious little Fourth Wall safe and sound.
You are interested in hearing about Farrington, and by extension Gilda, yes? Splendid.
As you no doubt know already, I’d made an effort to let loose chaos upon every city, town, village, thorp, and hamlet in Equestria. Perhaps you recall earlier, when I mentioned how chaos comes in so many different flavors? Take Ponyville, for instance. I’d given them my personal favorite out of all the kinds of chaos I know: topsy-turviness. Now, topsy-turviness is fun. But of course, what self-respecting personification of chaos limits himself to just one type?
So when it came to other cities, I branched out. Take Farrington, for instance. I didn’t give them the ol’ Ponyville chaos, no sir. This batch was entirely a horse of a different color. (I really like that idiom, don’t you? So fitting for this particular world! But I digress.) No, the chaos that Farrington got was... What was it again? Remind me, if you would be so kind.
Ah, yes. Pandemonium.
Well, shortly before I’d run into the gryphon, I was floating along the warped, barely-recognizable streets of Farrington, reveling in the sounds of the city. Every crash, every shriek of terror, every cry of pain, all permeated by a deliciously horrible buzzing! I was surrounded by a most terrible din, and it made me want to sing.
I took a deep breath, opened my mouth, and…
…realized that I couldn’t remember the tune to any particular song. Try as I may, I couldn’t recall more than a few bars of anything. I suppose your memory falters when you’re trapped in stone for a thousand years… A shame, really. Just one more reason to “thank” those responsible. Again. Repeatedly.
Anyway, I considered simply making up a song, but quickly dismissed the idea - too much effort - and decided not to sing at all. It was probably for the best, anyways. They don’t exactly call me “Discord” for nothing, you know.
Presently, I realized that I’d strolled into a relatively calm area of the city. “Oh, we can’t have that,” I told myself, thankful for something to relieve my irritation.
I glanced around for a good place to let loose a little chaos - somewhere that the City Guards would have a more difficult time locating. Upon spying a nearby alley, poorly-lit and half-obscured by a dumpster, I chuckled. “Perfect,” I said as I stepped inside.
Grinning fiercely, I extended a talon. With one quick swipe, I tore a hole in the fabric of reality, creating a door for the Things that waited on the other side.
Something from beyond the rip buzzed. The sound was soon followed by a nightmarish creature of scales and chitin and teeth and tentacles and stingers and even stranger parts.
I watched with glee as, one by one, more beasts poured through, and grinned even wider at the fresh screams of terror. “Now this is entertainment!” I laughed.
Suddenly, a blur burst shot past me and slammed into one of the creatures, which collapsed like a sack of potatoes. Snap. SCREECH. Thud.
My eyes narrowed. “Now, I say –” I began.
Snarling, the blur torpedoed into another one of the monsters. Snap. SCREECH. Thud.
I tried again. “If you’ll excuse me –”
Snap. SCREECH. Thud.
I sighed. “You’re not going to let up, are you?” I grumbled. “Fine.” I snapped my fingers, and with a pop, the monsters - with the portal spawning them - vanished.
Finally, the blur slowed. Finally, I could make out, covered in several different colors of the monsters’ ichor, the tired, panting form of the gryphon that you know as Gilda.
Let us note here that when a draconequus looks at a person, be they pony, zebra, dragon, or what-have-you, then they see much more than simply their appearance, so long as they know what to look for. One glance at you, for instance - how laughably transparent! - and I see all that you are, every dark secret and hidden desire... even the ones that you hide from yourself. Tell me, do you want to know what lies beneath the mask that even you cannot perceive? Shall I reveal to you the face of your true self?
But no. We’re talking about Gilda, aren’t we? Perhaps another time, then.
Anyway, I gazed down at the gryphon and saw every nuance of her character: the seething battle-fury; the simple but nasty mean streak; the doubly long guilt streak that usually followed; the unflinching loyalty; the jealousy and possessiveness that tarnished it; the self-loathing, balanced by the desire to improve; the deeply-buried primal instinct; the pervasive, inescapable hunger known all too well to those who live among their natural prey…
I didn’t just see Gilda. I knew her - I was deeply, intimately aware of every facet of her personality.
It’s much easier to find and exploit the chinks of someone’s armor when you truly know them, don’t you think?
Among many, many other things, I noted that Gilda not only knew Rainbow Dash, but felt a fierce camaraderie towards her. Maybe Rainbow felt the same way, but I couldn’t tell. Either way, I thought, no doubt Rainbow would be simply distraught if she found out something… unfortunate had befallen her gryphon friend…
Or maybe not; after all, I’ve already dealt with Rainbow. I shrugged. Oh, what the heck! Why not have some fun anyway?
“Well done, Gilda, well done indeed,” said I, clapping slowly. “That was quite the display.”
Gilda stared up at me, and I could almost see the question in her eyes: What? How does that thing know my name?
The gryphon straightened up, taking a deep breath. “Well?” she asked. “I take it that you’re the one behind all these uglies?”
“Don’t fret, my dear,” I said. “They can’t really hold together very well in this world. They’re mostly harmless, should you avoid using magic to fight them – that never ends well.”
At that, I heard the short, sharp shriek of a unicorn who had learned that lesson the hard way. Oh, well. Can’t make an omelet, etcetera.
“Really,” I continued airily, “the monsters are just there to keep the guards busy. They’ve been much too complacent ever since they’ve built these nice, thick city walls to repel wandering monsters. So I decided to let my beasties in on this side, to shake things up a bit. Meanwhile, I do the real fun stuff.” I grinned.
“And just what would that be?” Gilda said.
Suddenly, I gasped, feigning horror. “Oh, where are my manners?” I asked, ignoring her question. “My sincerest apologies, Gilda! Allow me to introduce myself.” With a deep bow and a flourish, I continued, “I’m Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, and the current ruler of Equestria.” I took Gilda’s claw in my own and shook it firmly. “Greetings.”
“Oh, so you’re running the place, then?” growled Gilda, yanking her hand from my grip. “Well, in that case, my talons would like to make a formal complaint.” She held up an ichor-coated claw for emphasis.
I laughed. “Oh, you’re threatening me? Me? With physical violence?” I said. “That’s simply so… so precious!” I popped over to Gilda and pinched her cheek. “Ooh, aren’t you just a cutie?”
Gilda swung at me, but I teleported out of her reach. “Too slow!” I laughed. “Really, must you resort to violence so soon? I just want to talk…”
“Yeah,” snapped Gilda, “Well you can take your talk and shove it up your –”
“Better,” I interrupted. “At least you’re using words now, instead of your talons.” I floated over and bent down to peer at Gilda. “You know, Gilda, you’re really an odd duck, aren’t you?”
“I’m not a duck. I’m a gryphon,” Gilda said flatly.
Gryphon season, duck season, what does it matter? I thought to myself. But aloud, I said, “Exactly my point, my dear! You, a gryphon, have been living with and interacting so casually with ponies! Even nowadays, your kind and theirs don’t often mix.” I chuckled. “I remember back when I was first ruling this place, gryphons used to eat ponies. And now here you are now, living like one!”
Gilda glared at me. “Hey! I’m nothing like those –”
“‘Lame ponies’?” I interrupted. “It really is funny. Didn’t you once say that you had never seen – How did you phrase it? Ah, yes – ‘a lamer bunch of dweebs’ in all your life than the ponies of Ponyville? And yet now you’re spending most of your time in a pony town, reading pony books, chatting with your simply charming pony friend, that librarian…” I smiled at her. “…How is Breeze doing today, anyway?”
Gilda snarled, “What did you do to her?!”
It’s really too easy, I noted. “Oh, nothing,” I assured her. “I haven’t done anything... well, not yet, anyway. Even so, why should you care? If I recall correctly, the only pony you really care about is Rainbow Dash.”
“Shut up...”
“But really!” I continued mockingly. “Isn’t that the only reason why you came here in the first place? To to bury your sorrows - sorrows, I may add, that arose when you rejected Dash? But you still haven’t moved on. You still go to that library every day to get coaching from that librarian on being nice, of all things! You’re trying to make things better, but it’s all in vain.”
“Shut. Up,” Gilda repeated, voice rising.
My grin widened. “You really think that Dash would ever accept you after you treated her friends like that? You think that you can really change into someone – no, somepony that she would accept? You’re deluding yourself, Gilda.” I leaned down to face the gryphon, beaming smugly. “I know all about monsters, because I am one. And so are you. It can’t be helped.” I prodded her in the chest. “It’s in your blood.”
“SHUT UP!” Gilda roared, pouncing.
Cackling wildly, I darted to the side. Gilda smashed into wall behind me, but sprang once more to her feet. She spun to face me with fire in her eyes.
One quick lunge, and I had Gilda’s throat in my claw. The gryphon stiffened immediately. “Really, such anger…” I drawled, tracing a lazy spiral on Gilda’s forehead with a claw. “It isn’t healthy to bottle it up like you’ve been doing. Why must you hold it in, denying your animal instincts?” As I began to sap Gilda’s spirit, she went limp in my grasp, color draining from her body. “You’re a monster, Gilda. Don’t deny it. You’re a predator, and these ponies are naught but your prey...”
Once I had drained the last of her, I stepped back to admire my handiwork. To the casual observer, little had changed - her feathers were ruffled, she was covered in ichor, and a low, uninterrupted growl emanated from her throat, but then again, she had been like that before my handiwork. However, the little spark of intellect had been in the gryphon's eyes was snuffed out.
I reached out my mind to inspect Gilda’s –
Flashes of color. Sounds. Shapes. Fight or flight? Food or threat? Stimulus-response.
As I withdrew my mind, my face broke out into a toothy grin. Instinct had completely overridden thought. Perfect.
At that moment, a yellow pony rounded the corner. (The poor thing reminded me a little of Fluttershy, now that I think about it. Odd.) As she stepped into the relative darkness of the alley, she glanced around furtively - but apparently, she hadn’t seen either of us yet.
The mare’s eyes darted to and fro. “H-hello?” she stammered. “Is anypony there? I heard voices, and the monsters… Oh, Celestia, the mon… sters…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes adjusted to the light. Seeing the snarling Gryphon and I, she shrank back with a squeak.
The Gryphon pounced with a bestial roar, swiping its talons at the mare. She would have been cut to ribbons, had she not leaped to the side. The Gryphon screeched in fury and lunged forward once more, but its prey dived out of reach again. The mare then promptly turned tail and fled, shrieking, with the Gryphon snapping at her heels.
I turned from the scene and walked away, chortling. Maybe the mare would live. Maybe she wouldn’t. I left it to chance. After all, why should I care? My work here was done.
I drummed my fingers on a nearby fence, then sighed. “I tire of Farrington,” I said to no one in particular. “I wonder how Celestia's little pets are doing... Well, back to Ponyville.” With the snap of my fingers and a flash of light, I disappeared.
Well, don’t let me waste your time any longer. I tire of you, so unless you have something to keep the birds away, I suggest you move along.
---
“…Anyway,” Gilda said shakily, “When everything went back to normal, and I could finally think again, I found myself standing over the mangled body of – somepony. I don’t know who. I couldn’t remember what I’d done. But whether or not I’d actually been the one to kill her, I could…” She shuddered. “I could still taste her. Her blood was in my mouth. It tasted… good.” Her voice was quiet. Ashamed.
Pinkie sat there, dumbfounded.
After a pause, Gilda continued. “After that, I could hardly stay in Farrington, could I? I couldn’t go anywhere where there were ponies, now that I’d become a monster… So I fled to the Everfree, to take up a life of self-imposed exile.” She gestured in the general direction of her hut. “I’d have found some cave to hole up in, but all the good ones in this blasted forest are already taken by some pretty nasty beasties, so I built that little nest-house. And I’ve been here ever since, until you came along.”
Pinkie remained silent. Gilda might’ve killed somepony? She actually ate somepony?
B-But she didn’t mean to…
“And now you see why Dash should hate me,” Gilda finished bitterly. “I’m probably a murderer, and I’m certainly a monster.”
Pinkie’s eyes flashed. “You’re not a monster or a murderer, Gilda,” she said.
Gilda laughed harshly. “Oh, you’re a riot, Pinks! So you’re telling me that pony –”
“One of the monsters that Discord summoned – couldn’t it have killed her?” Pinkie asked.
“I’d thought of that,” Gilda said tiredly. “But it’s not likely. Discord said that they were harmless –”
“Unless you use magic on them!” Pinkie interrupted. “Was that pony a unicorn?”
“I… I don’t know!” Gilda wailed. “She was torn to shreds... I can’t even tell you what color her coat was…”
“And do you remember chasing anypony in particular?”
“No, Pinks,” Gilda said, gritting her teeth. “Discord grabbed me, and then everything went foggy until –”
“So you don’t know whether or you killed her or not,” Pinkie said. “There’s room for doubt!”
Gilda snorted derisively. “Well, it’s a good thing this isn’t a court room, ‘cause even I don’t buy it. But even if you’re right, and I didn’t kill the pony, so what? I still ate her.” She shuddered. “I know that for a fact.”
“Did you want to eat her before you talked to Discord?” Pinkie said.
“Well, no–” Gilda began.
“And did you still want to eat her after his hypnotism-stuff wore off?”
Gilda sputtered, “Ye– Well, n–” After a long pause, she sighed. “…Not on an intellectual level. But still–”
“So, you didn’t kill or eat her, silly,” Pinkie interrupted. “Discord did stuff to your head. You weren’t you! The same thing’s happened to me, too!”
“So you’ve killed and eaten ponies before, then?” Gilda said, rolling her eyes.
“Well, no,” Pinkie acknowledged. “What I meant is that I’ve been ‘not me’. So have all my friends! It was awful… We did things that we’d never have done if Discord hadn’t messed with us.”
Gilda raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Like what?”
“Well…” Pinkie said, wincing slightly, “I kept saying that I hated stuff. Applejack lied! Fluttershy even…” She shuddered. “She even dumped a bucket of water on Twilight’s head!”
Gilda stared at Pinkie for a moment, unblinking. Eventually, she began to laugh. It was a weary laugh, but it was genuine.
“What? What’s so funny?” Pinkie said. “Did I miss the joke?”
“Geez, Pinks,” Gilda wheezed out between chuckles, “You guys really don't have a scrap of nastiness between the six of you, do you?”
Pinkie pouted. “Hey…” she muttered.
“No, no. That’s a good thing,” Gilda insisted, still chuckling. “Even if you have the body of a monster, you’ve still got a good heart.” As her laughter died away, she straightened up. “Heh… Thanks, Pinkie. For cheering me up, I mean. I know I haven’t exactly been kind to you since you came to me for help… And before that… Well, I guess I was wrong, and Dash is right. What I’m trying to say is…” She averted her gaze. “I… I suppose you’re pretty cool.”
Pinkie beamed. “Gee, thanks, Gilda!”
Gilda returned the smile. “Call me ‘G’, Pinks. Call me ‘G’. Now, let’s move on with our lives before this gets any sappier...” She fell silent. After a lengthy pause, she turned to face Pinkie, a glint of steely determination in her eyes. “You know what? I’m gonna help you for free, now. Your end of the deal is moot now, anyway…”
“What? No! No it’s not!” Pinkie said. “You can still be friends with Dashie!”
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Not very likely.”
“But –” Pinkie began.
“No, not another word,” interrupted Gilda, holding up a claw. “I can handle it. Thanks to Discord, I might not be able to be friends with Dash again, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll let him rob you of that as well.” Her eyes flashed. “Let’s get you your friends back.”
---
Rainbow Dash listlessly approached the doors to the Royal Palace's main hall. As she walked, she stared at her hooves, brooding. She wasn't looking forward to having to give her report...
"Ah! There you are, Rainbow."
Dash looked up to see Twilight drawing near. "Oh. Hey," she said gloomily.
“How did your mission go?” Twilight said.
“Not very well,” replied Dash, a slight edge to her voice. “Yours?”
“It went well,” Twilight replied. “I was able to find Trixie and convince her to help easily.”
Trixie stepped out from the shadows. Rainbow jumped. “Geez, where’d you come from?!” she growled.
The showmare rolled her eyes. “Trixie was here the whole time. But obviously, you seem to be unfamiliar with many of her extensive talents,” she said, giving her cape a small swish. “Yes, Sparkle is quite fortunate to have recruited a unicorn of Trixie’s caliber…” She shot an mild glare towards Twilight. “…especially since I’ve decided to stay on, even after that little disaster in Ponyville.”
“Wait, what disaster?” Rainbow said. “You’re not still mad about the whole Ursa thing, are you?”
“Far from it,” Trixie replied. “What Trixie is referring to is the incident with the cabbage merchant.”
Dash’s brow furrowed. “Twilight, what’s she talking about?”
Twilight stared at her hooves. “Yes, well...” she began. “I was a bit ahead of schedule, so I decided to stop by the library in Ponyville for some supplies. Research materials, quills and parchment, that sort of thing.” She shuddered. “On the way there… we ran into Leafy Green.”
“Leafy… Leafy…” Rainbow frowned thoughtfully. “Oh, right... The cabbage pony. I remember crashing into his cart more than once.” She shrugged. “What happened?”
Twilight did not answer. She only stood there, shuddering.
“Well?” Rainbow snapped, taking a step forward. “C’mon, we’re wasting daylight here!”
Twilight cringed.
At once, Trixie interposed herself between the pair, glaring daggers at Dash. “Can’t you see that Sparkle does not want to answer, you simpleton?” she snarled. “Trixie shall answer your questions if you insist on asking, but as Sparkle is uncomfortable with responding, leave her out of it.”
Rainbow blinked, surprised by the intensity of Trixie’s outburst. She bit back a retort, and instead replied, “Okay, then, Trixie. What happened?”
“Eris had gotten to the pony,” Trixie said bluntly. “Quite some time ago, Twilight reckoned.”
“Oh.” Rainbow shuddered, remembering her own incident with Discord. “Okay, that’s…” She paused. “...well, pretty bad. But honestly, how bad could it have been? He sells cabbages, for Celestia’s sake!”
Twilight spoke up haltingly. “We were only affected by Discord for a few hours, and we went from bad to worse fairly quickly in that time.” As she stared at Rainbow, Twilight’s eyes were haunted. “Leafy Green had been like that for almost a month.”
Dash sat there, stunned. A month? And if he’d gotten progressively worse…
“We shall not bore you with the details,” Trixie said. “Long story short, Twilight handled it… perhaps even better than Trixie could have,” she admitted, glancing away. “The cabbage merchant is back to normal, although not without tremendous effort and emotional scarring for everyone involved.” She turned towards the door, opened it, and started to step through. “Now let’s not keep the Princesses waiting any longer…”
Rainbow gulped. “…Emotional scarring?” Concerned, she studied Twilight carefully. “Hey, Twilight. Sorry about just now. If I’d known...”
Twilight shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”
“Are you gonna be okay?” Dash asked.
Twilight smiled weakly. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “Trixie’s just being a little melodramatic. But thanks anyway, Rainbow.” And with that, she followed after Trixie.
As Twilight walked away, Dash’s rage flared up, returning even stronger than before. After a moment, she muttered a curse. Well, there’s one more reason to hate Eris and Gilda…
Dash followed the two unicorns through the door. All of the other ponies had already arrived - the Princesses sat on either end of the table, while her friends, among others, flanked the sides. Twilight and Trixie had already taken their positions at the table.
Dash, seeing an empty spot, rushed over to fill it, but sat there moodily. Her mind was on a darker subject than the meeting in front of her...
Luna turned to regard the three newcomers. “Ah! There they are. Now that we are all assembled, we may begin the war council.” Using her magic, she shuffled the papers in front of her, obviously doing her best to look calm and businesslike. “For those of thee who are unfamiliar with the process, it shall go as follows: I shall call upon each of my Generals in turn – that would be ye, Element Bearers – and thou shalt rise, introduce thy second-in-command, and outline thy contributions to the war effort. I shall instruct thee on how to direct thy troops, and then we shall move on to the next General. Any questions?”
There was a short pause.
“Splendid,” continued Luna. “Then we shall begin at once. Fair Applejack, if you will?”
Applejack nodded. “Of course, Princess.” She stood up, motioning for the stallion beside her to do the same. “Most of you have already met my cousin, Braeburn.”
Braeburn, who had up until that point been gazing around the room in awe, blinked. With a nudge from Applejack, he stood up uneasily.
“Well, howdy!” he began, breaking out into a nervous grin. “Ah’d just like to start off by saying that this is quite a lovely city you’ve–”
“Braeburn,” Applejack muttered. “If this is gonna be anythin’ like your ‘Welcome to Appleoosa’ speech, Ah suggest you hold it right there. We just don’t have the time.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry, cous’.” Braeburn grinned sheepishly, and then cleared his throat. “Alright, straight t’ business. Applejack’s rounded up an army of just over three thousand, with ‘bout the same amount of each type of pony. Most of them ain’t ever been in a real fight, but we’ve got most o’ the Apple clan, and of course my fellow Appleoosans, helpin’ t’ train everypony up.”
“Also, Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, was kind enough t’ have a couple guards help with the training, but as y’ know, most o’ the guard is tryin’ to keep the chaos in check, Shining included,” Applejack said. “And before y’ ask, Twi, last Ah heard o’ him, he was in Fillydelphia.”
“But besides that, the militia’s all we got in the way o’ pure pony power,” Braeburn said. “So Ah reckon that’s it for us.”
Luna nodded. “Excellent. Firstly, the Pegasi shall scout for us. Set up a relay network across Equestria with them. Hopefully, they shall give us enough warning when Eris finally emerges. As for the other ponies, I trust that you have tutored them in the use of ranged weaponry?”
“We sure did,” Braeburn said. “We’re even using our own special Appleoosan arsenal!”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Excuse me, but if you don’t mind me asking, when you say ‘Appleoosan arsenal’...” She frowned. “...do you mean apple pies?”
“Hey, now,” Braeburn replied a tad reproachfully. “You ‘n’ Ah have both seen an Appleoosan drop a Buffalo at fifty paces with nothin’ but a well-aimed pie! Have a little faith. Besides, it’s not just apple. Nopony has enough apples to arm three thousand ponies...” He shrugged. “We’ve had to make do with cherries, peaches, blackberries, and other kinds o’ fruit. Might not pack quite the same punch as apple pies, but should still do the trick.”
“As thou sayest,” Luna said. “Very well. Have your ground troops split into groups of two hundred fifty or so, and spread them evenly across the land. If at all possible, make sure that each group has several unicorns that can teleport, for the purposes of rapid deployment or retreat. Instruct the troops to, when in combat, throw if and only if they can get a clear shot at the target.” She motioned towards the door. “You may leave now, Braeburn.”
“Thank you kindly, ma’am – uh, Ah mean, uh, Your Majesty,” said Braeburn, tipping his hat to the Princesses before turning around and heading for the door.
Luna turned to the next General. “It is your turn, Dear Fluttershy.”
“Um, o-okay,” Fluttershy said. “I… I guess my second-in-command is Spike.”
The little dragon grinned. “Alright,” he said, standing up. “Well, if you don’t count me, then we’ve got nineteen dragons.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Nineteen?”
“Seven mountain dragons, five forest wyrms, three rime drakes, two crystal wyverns, one gloom serpent, and one storm dragon,” Fluttershy said quietly.
“It was pretty easy, too, once they recognized Fluttershy as Sharl’dahk,” Spike added.
Rainbow blinked, momentarily distracted from her moody reverie. “Sharl-what?”
“She Who Must Be Avoided,” Luna said. “Even amongst dragons, news travels fast.”
“Yeah, and since the dragons couldn’t avoid Fluttershy, they have to do all they can to help her,” Spike continued, a mischievous gleam in his eye. “And, the best part is, they’re paying her tribute, too!”
Fluttershy hid behind her mane. “I didn’t want to take it, but they insisted,” she murmured. “By this point, I’m just glad when they don’t cower so much.”
“Tribute? Cowering?” Dash snorted. “Next you’ll be telling us that they’ve made you a crown.”
“Um… well…” Fluttershy said.
Twilight’s mouth fell open. “They didn’t… Did they?”
Fluttershy blushed furiously as she slipped a metallic object out of her saddlebags. As she held it up in the light, everypony leaned in for a closer look.
The object in question was an intimidating helmet, forged from a single piece of dark metal. When light fell upon its surface, it gleamed with dull, rainbow streaks. The helm had been molded into the snarling shape of a dragon’s head.
Fluttershy explained, “It’s… It’s not a crown. The dragons called it the Helm of the Sharl’dahk. There’s a magic charm on it, so that they can tell it’s me from a distance. I’m supposed to wear it whenever I want a dragon’s help.”
“No doubt so that they’ll get enough warning to make an escape next time,” Rarity added, smirking. “Well, darling, what does it look like on you?”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “I… Uh…”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Put it on!”
"...Okay," Fluttershy said shakily. She slipped the helmet on.
Dash stared at Fluttershy, unimpressed. The terrible, snarling face of the helmet looked almost ridiculous on her, especially with her warm, blue-green eyes through the eye slits. Fluttershy glanced around uncertainly. Then she blinked–
Rainbow Dash yelped in surprise. Gone was the warmth and the kindness – instead, cold, hard, dragon eyes stared back at her. The helmet had somehow changed her – she seemed to stand taller somehow, her body lean and muscular. She shifted her weight, her every move a promise of violence and pain.
She looked like a pony the dragons would fear.
Fluttershy tilted her head slightly, and her voice, cold and hollow, echoed from deep within the helmet. "W-well? How does it look?"
Everypony else just stared at her, wide-eyed and silent.
“Oh.” Fluttershy averted her gaze. "I look silly, don’t I...”
“Silly? Land sakes, Fluttershy,” Applejack breathed, wide-eyed. “You’re downright scary!”
Dash looked away, scowling. “Yeah, okay, maybe it’s a little intimidating.”
“Okay, so the helm acts as a locator, but it also does...” Twilight paused, her expression troubled. “...that. Fluttershy, is it just an illusion, or something more?”
“I d-don’t feel any different,” Fluttershy said uncertainly.
Luna cleared her throat. “I think we are getting a little off-topic,” she said. “I take it, Dear Fluttershy, that the dragons shall follow your every order?”
Fluttershy quickly slipped her helmet off, and the glamer immediately fell away, leaving the pegasus as soft and warm as she’d always been. “Y-yes,” she murmured.
“And they also obey Spike?” Luna asked.
The baby dragon nodded. “Uh-huh. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Splendid,” Luna replied. “In that case, we shall put them on the front lines. Tell them not to hesitate in their use of physical weaponry or their flames.”
“Um, n-not all the dragons breathe fire...” Fluttershy said.
“Well, whatever they do breathe, they are welcome to do so,” Luna said. “You may relay those orders now, Spike.”
“I’m on it!” Spike saluted, then turned and headed for the door.
“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna continued, turning to the purple unicorn. “Thy report, if thou wilt.”
Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but Trixie quickly leaped to her feet. “At Sparkle’s behest,” she said, “the Great and Powerful Trixie has decided to lend her power and skill to the war effort, your Majesties, and graciously accepts the position of Sparkle’s second-in-command.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “What she said.”
“Very well.” Luna glanced down at her papers. “In that case, your role has already been outlined. Use your magic to befuddle our opposition. Illusory soldiers would be particularly valuable.”
Then the Princess of the Moon turned to Twilight. “Twilight Sparkle, it is thy duty to protect Trixie while her attention is otherwise occupied. Additionally, thou shouldst attempt to counteract Eris’s powers in any way possible.”
“I’ll do my best,” Twilight promised.
Trixie’s eyes gleamed excitedly. “Sparkle, just imagine! What a wonderful story this shall make.” She threw an arm around Twilight’s shoulder and moved her other in a grand, sweeping gesture. “The Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon and the Wise and Wonderful Twilight Sparkle, joining forces to baffle and disarm an avatar of Chaos! It shall be an epic tale of thrills, heroics, and adventure to be told throughout the ages!”
“…‘Th’ Wise and Wonderful Twilight Sparkle’?” Applejack repeated.
“Trixie Lulamoon?” Rainbow echoed incredulously.
Trixie blushed furiously. “Trixie admits that she may have gotten carried away. Breathe a word of my surname to anypony, and I’ll mail what’s left of you to your relatives.” She turned to Luna. “Well, is there anything else, Princess?” She paused. “No? Then the Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her leave. She must prepare.” With that, she stood up and swept out of the room.
A short moment later, she stepped back into the room. “Oh, I almost forgot – Sparkle, if you need to find me, I’ll be in the hedge maze. When the time is right, drop by.” At that, she disappeared again.
…only to reappear a second later. “I should probably clarify that the invitation extends only to Twilight Sparkle, and only once the battle has started,” Trixie added, glancing around the room. “Nopony else should bother the Great and Powerful Trixie while she is concentrating on–”
“LEAVE US NOW.”
“YesofcoursePrincessLunayourMajesty.” Trixie vanished again, this time for good.
After a long moment, Rarity broke the silence. “Well, I suppose that means it’s my turn now?”
“Indeed it is,” Luna said.
Rarity nodded. “Well, then. In that case, I should like to introduce my associates. Mr. Silk, Mr. Satin, if you will?” She stood aside, and gestured to a pair of stallions that stood unobtrusively at the very edge of the room.
Rainbow studied the two ponies closely. They nearly could have been the same stallion – the same muscular build, the same grey coat and silver-blue mane, the same impeccable suit and stylish shades. The only noticeable difference, in fact, was that one of them was a unicorn, and the other a pegasus.
The pegasus eyed Luna with a roguish grin. “Pleased to meet you, Your Majesties,” he said in a Trottingham accent, nodding first to Celestia and then to Luna. “I’m Mr. Silk, and my compatriot here is Mr. Satin.”
“And what dost thou do?” Luna asked.
“Cloth-cutting and scrap disposal,” answered Mr. Satin immediately, his tone curt and businesslike.
“Well, that’s what they call it in the trade,” Mr. Silk added with a wink.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And are these euphemisms for violence, then?”
The pair answered in unison. “Of course not.”
“If I may be so bold, Princesses,” interjected Rarity, “Mr. Silk and Mr. Satin would be best suited acting…” She paused. “...independently from the rest of our operation. Just leave them to do what they do best.”
“Which is cloth-cutting,” Celestia said dryly.
“And scrap disposal,” Mr. Satin added helpfully.
Luna sighed. “Of course… Very well, when the battle comes, thou shalt ‘cut and dispose’, as it were.”
“Thank you kindly, your Majesties,” said Mr. Silk. The pair bowed deeply, then discreetly left.
Frowning, Applejack scrutinized Rarity. “And just how do y’ know those two ‘gentlecolts’, Rarity?” she asked.
“They’re in the employ of an old friend of mine,” Rarity said. “To reveal any more would be… imprudent.”
Applejack’s scowl deepened. “Oh. Ah see how it is. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Fine by me.”
“Well, thanks for your understanding, darling,” Rarity replied, idly inspecting a hoof.
Luna sighed irritatedly. “Off-topic. Again. Well, Rainbow Dash, thou art the only one left. How hast thou fared with thy mission?”
Dash’s mood soured further, and her expression changed to match. “Well, Princess,” she said, “it looks like we won’t be getting the help of the gryphons after all. Gilda’s been working with the enemy the whole time.”
There came a stunned silence from around the table.
Twilight was the first to speak. “Rainbow… are you certain that Gilda’s sided with Eris? That seems… well, pretty bad, even for her.”
Rainbow took a deep breath, trying to keep her temper in check. “…Yeah, I’m sure. The two of them were talking, and Eris went out of her way to protect Gilda. Kinda leaves little room for doubt.”
“Oh…” said Luna. “That is… unfortunate. Even if the other gryphons are not on Eris’s side as well, now it shall be nigh-impossible to convince them to join our cause.” She sighed. “No matter, we cannot win them all. To be honest, I was unable to recruit the Zebras, either.”
“It’s a good thing that you’ve prepared contingency plans, Luna,” Celestia added.
“Yes, Sister, I know,” Luna said tiredly. “It was fortunate that thou hadst me prepare them.” She turned to Rainbow. “Rainbow Dash, in lieu of gryphons, I already have gathered a backup strike team of… particularly qualified pegasi. Thou shalt lead them in the aerial combat unit.”
“Aerial combat?” Dash echoed.
“It is a close-combat strike force using hit-and-run tactics,” Luna explained. “The point is to weaken and disorient Eris, and any allies that she brings. Speed and agility are crucial to this.”
“Naturally, we thought of you,” Celestia added, smiling.
“Cool,” Dash replied halfheartedly. “So, when do I meet the team?”
“After this meeting is completed,” Luna said.
“As for Luna and myself,” Celestia continued, “when the time is right, the two of us shall be the ones to land the killing blow.” Her expression hardened. “We would not ask anypony amongst you to take that burden upon one’s self.”
Twilight looked troubled, but nodded. “Of course... Thank you, I suppose.”
Luna turned to address the entire table. “Now that we have heard from all the Generals, on to a more personal note: has anypony come across Pinkamena in your travels?”
Oh, ponyfeathers, Dash thought.
“Ah haven’t,” Applejack admitted.
“Nor I,” added Rarity.
“I’m sorry, but… neither have I,” Fluttershy said.
“Same here,” finished Twilight.
Rainbow remained silent. Luna looked at the pegasus curiously. “And what of thee, Rainbow Dash?”
Dash scowled. “Gilda ate her,” she spat.
The other ponies stared at Rainbow Dash in shock.
“...She what?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Surely you can’t be serious!”
“My ex-friend has eaten one of my closest friends!” Dash snapped. “What, do you think I’d joke about that?! OF COURSE I’M BUCKING SERIOUS!”
After her outburst, the silence was deafening. Rainbow felt everyone's eyes on her. Still fuming, she glared at the others. But as Dash’s eyes fell on Fluttershy, she noticed that her friend’s eyes were brimming with tears and her lip was quivering.
All at once, Rainbow felt ashamed. “Fluttershy, look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. Don’t cry,” she said. “You know I’m not angry at any of you. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Fluttershy sniffed. “I know th-that,” she said. “But y-you didn’t make me c-cry. I’m crying b-because of P-P-P-P-P…” Her stammering degenerated into sobs.
"...Right," Dash mumbled. As one, everyone in the room went quiet.
Rainbow trotted over to Fluttershy and drew her in for a hug, patting her gently. As the more timid pegasus continued to weep, Dash felt something wet start to go down her own face, too. Oh, come on, she thought, closing her eyes. Stop crying, Dash! You're supposed to be the strong one. If the others see you like this... if Applejack–
An even louder sob made Rainbow open her eyes. Across the table, Applejack was trying to stifle her own tears – and failing miserably. The others fared no better.
For a long time, the room was silent, save for the weeping of five friends for their fallen companion. Gradually, weeping turned into sniffles, before they too faded into silence.
After a moment, Applejack wiped her nose, then clenched her jaw. “Well. Looks to me like when Gilda and Eris show their ugly mugs again, we won’t waste any time in ending this once and for all,” she declared.
“That’s the spirit,” agreed Twilight. “We can do this. For Pinkie Pie.”
“For Pinkie Pie,” echoed the others.
Rainbow nodded, eyes gleaming fiercely. “For Pinkie.”
As Luna looked away, her expression hardened. “It is a sad day indeed, when we must mourn for the loss of such a dear friend as Pinkamena,” she murmured. “But I fear that we must save our grief for a more prudent time, else our negligence causes us to add to it.” She turned her attention back onto the map on the stone table, her expression fierce. “Rainbow Dash, you say that you have actually seen Gilda and Eris together? Where was this?”
Rainbow hovered over the table and tapped the appropriate location on the map. “Right here, deep in the Everfree.”
Luna nodded. “Ah. In that case, I shall have our scouts monitor the area, in case she makes an appearance.”
“And that’s all fine and dandy,” Applejack said, “but why don’t we go after her, since we know where she is?”
“’Know where she is’?” echoed Luna. “‘Tis not as simple as that, Fair Applejack! Eris has almost certainly moved since Rainbow Dash discovered her, and she can instantly relocate anyway.” The Moon Princess stared down at the map, frowning. “We do not have the time or resources to engage in a wild goose chase. Any confrontation shall have to be initiated by Eris herself.”
“So you’re just gonna wait for Eris to appear and hope you can get there in time to stop whatever she’s planning?” Applejack said.
“Unfortunately, ‘tis all we can do,” Luna answered wearily. “The best we can achieve is to have our scouts keep a lookout for Eris and Gilda… and, as thou put it, get there in time to stop whatever they’re planning.”
“…Um… excuse me…”
Everypony, surprised, turned to face the speaker: Fluttershy. With a squeak, she tried to hide behind her mane. “N-never mind.”
“What is it, darling?” Rarity said.
“Yeah. Go on, Sugarcube,” Applejack encouraged.
Fluttershy peeked out at them. “Well, I just realized something... W-when Discord was free, he immediately spread chaos, and then stopped the Elements of Harmony from doing anything against him.” She pawed at the ground. “Then he spread more chaos and disharmony, which is what he wanted to do all along.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “And when Eris appeared, she spread chaos and neutralized the Elements too,” she said.
“Yes... But now she’s just hiding with Gilda in the Everfree.” Fluttershy’s brow furrowed. “She’s been there for almost a month, letting us build an army… She hasn’t been controlling the chaos, just letting it spread… She has everypony where she wants, but instead of doing what she wants, she’s been doing…”
“…Nothing,” Twilight finished. “Or… as far as we know, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow said. She frowned. “Just what has she been doing out there? How does it involve Gilda?”
“What is she really after?” Twilight wondered.
“And…” Luna added, “just what is Eris planning?”
---
Pinkie stood on the edge of the Everfree, staring out at the landscape. “Whoa! What happened?”
“You did, Pinks,” Gilda answered sagely. “Order takes constant work to maintain, but chaos will spread if left unchecked.”
“Well, it looks like it’s spread over everything!” Pinkie said. “I didn’t think it’d be this bad!” She gestured to what had at one point been the rolling hills outside of Ponyville.
A checkerboard-like pattern spread over the ground in various, subtly-shifting hues. Massive chunks of earth floated ominously in the sky. Shapeless apparitions of ghostly flame flitted about, wildflowers blooming wherever they touched. Quivering blobs of translucent goo lurched about aimlessly. Cookies and cupcakes rose out of the ground and drifted into the stratosphere. And, of course, the sky was still darkened by cotton candy clouds.
Gilda stared up at the downpour of chocolate milk. “Hmm,” she said. “Hey, now I’m kinda curious…” She walked out into the rain, then looked skyward and opened her beak, letting the chocolate drizzle down her throat.
Pinkie watched with curiosity. “Hey G, what’re you doing? I thought you didn’t like sweets...”
Gilda lowered her head, wiping her face with an arm. “I don’t,” she said, grimacing. “That was for the sake of an experiment. Pinkie, could you please conjure up an empty glass?”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie didn’t even bother snapping her fingers, but simply held out a hand. A plain drinking glass appeared with a pop, and she handed it to Gilda.
“Thanks.” Gilda held out the glass, letting it fill to the brim, then peered at it distastefully. She shrugged. “For science,” she said, and then raised the beverage to her beak.
The glass drained away, but the chocolate remained.
“Hey, when Discord did that–” Pinkie began.
“The same thing happened, I know,” Gilda finished. “It wasn’t just him. I saw somepony in Farrington try to drink this stuff from a glass, too, before...” She paused. “...well, you know. Anyway, if this stuff acts the exact same way that it did when Discord was around, then I suggest you step out of the way. Now.”
As Pinkie drifted to the side, Gilda took a deep breath. She tossed the milk over her shoulder, then turned to watch it hit the ground. When it did, the chocolate milk exploded in a burst of confetti and streamers. A moment later, it burst again.
“Fascinating,” Gilda said.
“Huh?”
“Well, Pinks, with your Chaos, the chocolate milk explodes into harmless party supplies.” Gilda rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Discord’s chocolate milk, however, exploded into a blast of fire and force.”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed. “So you’re saying that while Discord’s Chaos is bad, mine might be good?” she hazarded, idly brushing away a gaggle of giggling balloons.
Gilda blinked. “No, I was just remarking on my observations. Although come to think of it, that’s quite an intriguing conjecture! If only we could test that hypothesis...” She paused for a moment, and then scowled. “Oh, come on... I did it again. I keep geeking out,” she grumbled.
Pinkie giggled. “Well, you could probably get along with Twilight well, since you’re both so smart!”
“You keep saying that, but I’m not really all that smart, Pinks.” Gilda sighed. “I’m just... well-read. Now, shall we get moving?”
“Sure!” Pinkie said. “What’re we gonna do now?”
Gilda surveyed the chaos. “Well, while all this is not necessarily dangerous, it’s still pretty annoying. Since we don’t know if it’ll go away or not when you return to normal, you’d better try to clean it up now.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie,” Pinkie replied. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she could see her midnight-blue chaos magic filling the air, flickering eerily like ethereal flames. Pinkie focused on extinguishing the fires, and then snapped her fingers once more.
Nothing happened.
Pinkie glared at the unchanged chaos. “It’s not working!” she exclaimed. “Dumb chaos…”
“Yeah, I thought that might happen… or rather, not.” Gilda sighed. “But I think I know why. Hey, Pinks. Could you teleport over to the Farrington library, find the copy of... Well, the title starts with ‘Draconyquyse’, spelled ‘Y-Q-U-Y-S-E’ at the end. Anyway, could you bring it back here? Stealthily, of course.”
Pinkie saluted. “Sure thing, G!” In a flash of light, she was gone.
A couple of minutes later, Pinkie reappeared with an old, musty tome under her arm. She held it aloft, and read the title aloud. “‘Draconyquyse: Being A Full, Un-Altered Account of Interviews withe Such a Creature, and the Topickes Touched Uponne Within’.” She tossed it to Gilda. “Sorry I took so long. Somepony had accidentally put it under ‘E’!”
“No problem,” Gilda replied distantly, already absorbed in the book. A tiny pair of reading spectacles was balanced on her beak. Pinkie did her best to stifle a giggle at the sight.
After a few minutes of flipping pages and muttering to herself, Gilda finally spoke up. “Aha!” She tapped the page, then turned so that Pinkie could get a better view. “Pinks, come over here and read this.”
Pinkie looked over Gilda’s shoulder and read aloud, haltingly. “‘Yt has been Theorized that as a Creature with Allegiance to, and Yn Fact personifyinge Chaos, the Draconyquyse ys physically Unable to Undo any Magicke that furthers the Cause of Chaos.’ Gee, early scholar ponies sure couldn’t spell...’” She paused. “...Hey, that can’t be right! When Discord took away my friends’ wings and horns, he was able to give them right back!”
“Well, this book is by no means definitive,” Gilda admitted. “What isn’t pure speculation has come from interviews with Discord himself. When he wasn’t blatantly lying, he often contradicted himself, and that was when he was actually in the mood to talk. More often than not, he simply chose to drive prospective researchers insane.” She pointed at the book. “But that’s beside the point. Keep reading.”
“‘The Draconyquyse, however, canne achieve the Effect of dispellinge Chaos by Absorbing yts own Magicke back into Ytself, storing yt for Later. This Technique canne allowe a Draconyquyse to Holde much more Magickal Energy for Achieving greater Feats than yt Normally could Do.’” Pinkie looked up and snapped her fingers, sending the book back to its rightful place. “So I can absorb the Chaos? And store the energy like a battery?”
“Well put, Pinks,” Gilda said. She paused. “…Actually, while the analogy is sound, we have yet to see if the theory still holds out. Give it a shot.”
Pinkie outstretched her claw and laid it on the ground. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, brow furrowed.
The checkerboard pattern wavered, then burst, the colors flowing together as they sped towards Pinkie’s claw. The blobs melted, mixing with the river of color as they oozed in the same direction. The balloons tried to pull away, gibbering, but were sucked in as well.
Pinkie could feel the chaos flowing up through her arm and into her chest, where it pooled in a veritable well of power. It felt good, but also... strange.
Pinkie paused for a moment, lifting her claw from the ground, and the chaos slowed to a halt. Pinkie opened her eyes and stared at her claw.
“What’s wrong, Pinks?” asked Gilda. “It’s working.”
“I…” Pinkie hesitated. “I feel kinda funny.”
“How so?”
Pinkie shifted slightly. She felt like her entire body hum with chaotic energy… more than ever before. Power which begged to be released, consequences be damned…
Then again, she couldn’t just say that aloud, could she? No need to cause any alarm.
Pinkie looked away. “I dunno… kinda restless, maybe? A bit tingly?” she replied.
Gilda nodded. “Ah, that’s almost certainly the chaos you’ve been absorbing. By the way, it’s possible that the chaos could start to affect your judgement.” She paused. “So, uh... try not to let it.”
“Okay,” Pinkie said, placing her palm back on the ground. She took another deep breath, and the chaos flowed towards her once more
Gilda blinked. “Wait, ‘okay’? Just... ‘okay’?”
“Yeah,” Pinkie said. “Why?”
“No ‘Okie Dokie Lokie’ this time?”
Pinkie’s brow furrowed. “Huh. I guess not…”
---
“She’s doing what?” asked Twilight.
The royal guard bowed his head slightly. “She’s absorbing the chaos. One of our scouts saw Eris and an unidentified gryphon at the edge of the Everfree, and Eris seemed to be... drawing the chaos back into herself. ‘Like letting water down a tub drain’, according to the scout. As she was instructed to, she sent a relay back to here.”
Celestia began pacing. “This is not good,” she said. “Not good at all…”
“What do you mean?” asked Rainbow. “The chaos is getting cleaned up. That’s good, right?”
“Yes, and no,” Luna said, frowning. “While the land returning to normal is a welcome surprise, it means that Eris is absorbing the energy for later use.”
Applejack’s eyes widened. “What, all that energy? But th’ chaos was covering half of Equestria! What does she need all that for?”
“I can think of something,” muttered Luna.
Celestia raised her head. “Luna! Surely you can’t mean…”
As one, they both looked towards one particular window in the throne room. The other ponies turned to follow their gaze.
Through the window, they could see the Canterlot Sculpture Gardens.
All was silent for a long moment.
“Oh,” Rarity said quietly.
Applejack stepped back, shaking her head. “No, she can’t be planning that! That’d just be too much to handle, for sure…”
“A-are you certain that Eris is after Discord?” Fluttershy said.
“It all makes sense,” Celestia said, resuming pacing. “First Eris prevents the Elements of Harmony from being used, so that nothing can stop her. Then she releases a little chaos and bides her time while it spreads. When there’s enough, she reclaims the power and uses it to…”
---
“Free DISCORD?!” Pinkie echoed. “G, are you CRAZY?!”
Gilda held up her hands defensively. “Hey, I don’t like it any more than you do. But since he’s the one who did this to you, chances are he’s the only one who can change you back.”
“What about Twilight?” Pinkie said. “She’s really smart, and she knows the Princesses. I bet she could find out how to do it.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, Pinks, neither of us are exactly on speaking terms with any of your friends right now,” Gilda said. “If I show my face, I’ll get it bucked in – and you’d probably fare even worse.” She sighed. “Nothing for it. Ever since you mentioned that he was behind it, I’ve known that we’d have to talk to Discord in order to end this.”
Pinkie looked away. Discord was, obviously, bad news… but if there was no other option…
“…Fine,” she said. “If we can’t get back to our friends any other way, then I’ll do it.”
“Thank y– Wait, ‘we’? ‘Our’ friends?” Gilda blinked. “Pinks, I’ve already told you, you don’t have to help me patch it up with Dash. It’s too late for that.”
“No it’s not!” Pinkie insisted.
“That’s for Dash to decide, and it seems like she already has.” Gilda sighed. “I’ve already blown this chance, and even if I get another, I’m still not sure I’ll be ready... Seems like I’ve got even more screw-ups to resolve first.” She glared at Pinkie. “So seriously, drop it.”
Pinkie frowned, fuming. Why is Gilda being so stubborn about this? I made a Pinkie Promise! Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise! She narrowed her eyes. I’m gonna try to help her with Dashie anyway, whether she likes it or not...
Gilda turned away. “Well, time’s a-wastin’. Just finish up absorbing that chaos, and let’s be on our way.”
---
“So now we know what they’re gonna do,” Dash said, grinning fiercely. Now that there was going to be action, her mood had improved. “All we have to do is wait for them, and when they show up, BAM!” She swung a hoof enthusiastically, jostling the map. “We hit ‘em.”
“I see that you have already grasped the basic strategy of our plan,” Luna said dryly. “Let us move our troops into position for an ambush. Fair Applejack, send a scout to retrieve Shining Armor immediately; we shall have need of him.” She turned to the window. “Guards have already been posted at the statue. When you see the signal flare, attack. Now, everypony to their positions.”
At once, everypony in the room hurried off to meet their squads. Applejack rushed to the Grand Courtyard, where her recruits were training, Fluttershy made her way to the castle parapets, where the dragons were hiding from her, Twilight moved towards the hedge maze, where Trixie waited, and Rarity wandered off to who knows where, presumably to inform her “associates”.
Only Rainbow Dash stayed put. “Um, Princess?” she asked. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Luna turned to face Dash, brow furrowed. “I do not think so. What is it that…” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Of course, the aerial combat unit.”
Celestia nodded. She turned to one of the hall’s side doors. “It appears we have need of you after all,” she said, raising her voice slightly. “If you will…?”
A moment later, about a half-dozen pegasi through the door. The one at the head of the group, a yellow, fiery-maned mare, nodded personably to Rainbow. “Hey, Dash! Long time, no see.”
Dash stood there, stunned. “Wait… Spitfire? Is that you?”
Spitfire chuckled. “Uh-huh. The whole team’s here.”
At first, Rainbow hadn’t recognized the Wonderbolts out of uniform, but now she began to recognize the others… There was Rapidfire, and there was Fleetfoot… and from further back, Soarin’ waved amiably.
Dash looked back at Celestia and Luna, grinning. “Oh. My. Gosh. I’m actually gonna be leading the Wonderbolts?”
“For as long as you need to,” Celestia replied. “But only as long.”
“Yeah, if you want to keep your place on the team, then you’ll have to earn it like everypony else,” Spitfire said. “But hey, shouldn’t be too hard for you, right? I’m kind of wondering why we haven’t seen you in tryouts yet.”
Rainbow’s grin slowly widened. “Okay… But still! This is so COOL!” She giggled. “I’m gonna be leading the Wonderbolts for a day!”
“Well… not exactly,” Luna said. “Hast thou noticed that they are not in uniform? Thou wilt not be leading the Wonderbolts, but shall be in command of a new team.”
Luna lowered her horn, and as it glowed, the shadow of each pegasus quivered, then slithered onto their owners’ bodies, forming purple-and-black jumpsuits. Rainbow felt a clammy, tingly chill as her own shadow did the same.
“Fillies and Gentlecolts?” Luna said, grinning fiercely. “I would like to present Rainbow Dash, bearer of the Element of Loyalty... and new Captain of the Shadowbolts.”
Dash looked out at the team, eyes gleaming, and then back at herself. “So… awesome!” she whispered.
“Well, Captain Rainbow Dash?” Spitfire asked, smiling amusedly. “We all know what to do. Shall we move out?”
“Um. Uh,” Dash replied. “...I mean, yeah! Sure, let’s get going!” Quickly, she turned to the Princesses and saluted. “We won’t let you down!”
Hurriedly, a pair of royal guards threw open the main hall’s doors. Rainbow turned towards the opening, and her squadron entered formation behind her.
As one, each pegasus slid their goggles over their eyes. “Shadowbolts,” Dash ordered, “Let’s move out!”
---
“W-well? How does it look?”
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EEYUP... This is awesome.
955344>>955425
You guys realize that the mods released blogs saying DO NOT DO THE FIRST POST THING, and violators can be temporarily banned. Plus it is an eye sore to many, as these comments are rarely constructive or helpful.
I'm not signaling you guys out, I have just been seeing a resurgence in the trend and i'm in a bad mood
. Also a warning in case the mods are still opposed.
Anyway. Great first chapter. I cant wait to read more. Keep up the good work.
Okay, that image is a bit terrifying.
And this is all a big misunderstanding that'll get revealed for what it is when Discord is set loose, prompting an epic battle of Chaos.
hmmm... interesting...
I think that when I start my campaign for world domination, I'll place cabbage merchants in every enemy town, so that the air may be filled with "MY CABBAGES!" whenever I invade a city
Uhm, am I the only one reminded of a video game from that picture.
So... Awesome!!!!!
PLEASE MAKE MORE!!!
FIRST!
Facehoof, "damit Rainbow!"
I love how Spitfire literally says:"I’m kind of wondering why we haven’t seen you in tryouts yet.” and Dash doesn't even pay attention! HA!
978236
No, no your not. The first one that sprang to my mind was Kain from Final Fantasy 4. Most would think of Skyrim these days though...
Discord's session with Gilda was well-done. I can see you've decided to write a far more malicious Discord than I originally thought. This is going to be great when everything converges in the Gardens.
I can already see it!
Pinkie and Discord in an epic battle of tossing pianos and kitchen sinks on each other 
I just want to slap everypony apart from Pinkie and Gilda. They're such bucking idiots!
The moment Gilda said they'd free Discord, I had a picture in my head of all the ponies in the army watching Pinkie free him... then look utterly baffled as she starts strangling him.
And why couldn't Rainbow stay calm for just a little longer, and stop jumping to conclusions?
And why couldn't Pinkie just freeze her in place so Gilda could explain?
And why can't the princesses confront her and translate??
They're practically goddesses, a simple translation spell should be easy! (Well, I guess they still could do that...)
TL;DR - This story is RIVETING.
978454 That would be PRICELESS!!!
lord discord free? with pinke as a choas god? ....this will only end well
XD AWSOME!!!!!!!!
more! 
XP
Also, am I the only one who held a two-sided conversation in the Discord scene? Even though this version of Discord is kind of a meanie.
DON'T DO IT PINKIE!!!
978381 Skyrim, starcraft, dragon age, and any other game where the nicest person you've met gets an item that turns them into the scariest being in the universe.
978661
There is that, but I was thinking more of the appearance of the helm itself.
978712 The helm is what made me think of Skyrim and Dragonage.
978454
That's what I am guessing is going to happen as well.
Pinkie, Pinkie Promise me this: if Discord starts being an asshole, do whatever is in your powers, be it cartoon, chaos, or otherwise... TO STOP THAT MONSTER!
Pinkie's just misunderstood. JUST LISTEN TO THE GRYPHON DANGIT.
This is coming together nicely.
Oh, and Charcoal Quill: Since it appears you'll be dealing with Eris AND Discord soon, the proper plural form of "draconequus" is "draconequi." One U, one I.
Some reason Eris reminds me of:
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSbO7INkZev-Lr8tmdMxWfe-NqY96gx-4IdLYo2KP8c70-05SUrCg
...But, there's one they fear. In their tongue, Sharl’dahk, FLUTTERSHY!
Now with that out of the way, I hope we can see this Fic through without too much bloodshed. I know it says "Dark" but I still hate seeing death in MLP. But that's just personal opinion: I can't deduct points for death so long as it serves a purpose in the story. So far, thumbs up! Grammer good, Charactors good, story interesting, kinda rushed pacing especially in chapter 3.
Ohhhhhh man!!!
The hero's are bot right and wrong... and the main victims are walking right into their trap without realizing it! 
Bwa-Hahahahaha!!! GRRRRR!!!!!
Why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY didn't Rainbow Dash listen to Gilda? Okay I can kinda see why... Ex-friend working with "the enemy", she thinks that she ate her friend, and doesn't realize that "the enemy" is her friend.... What else can I say but PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!
Wow Dash, you don't jump to conclusions you sonic rainboom into them.
That picture is hilarious.
Wait... Why doesn't Pinkie send them a written letter? Even if that was in Olde Gryphon or whatever, they'd probably recognize her handwriting and the Princesses could translate. Then they could use the Elements to turn Pinkie back.
979328
Something can be dark and not involve death.
I downloaded and skimmed through the story. I have to say, this is the biggest communication-failure chain reaction I have ever read. It's almost like some sort of sick joke made by sadistic Rune Goldberg.
I'm kinda reluctant to read completely because I think I might end up imagining myself punching half of the characters. I don't want to have an attitude like that.
Of course, there is one huge issue even if everyone does understand at the end: Discord may be the only way to fix Pinkie Pie. They either let him out or deal with uncontrollable power for a long time.
No matter how the situation plays out, he has to get out eventually. Clever...
964628
I agree. There's just way too many coincidences for me. I'm kind of reluctant of doing a more analytical read rather than a skim.
i love this
Moar, just moar...
-Jorofrarie
This is amazing.. You've inspired me to publish my stories.
Thank you, because of this story of your's I count Gilda as not one of my hating list, but my loving list. Thank you.
Please update.
-Qindox
979490
One that ought to be addressed. It's a pretty major plothole.
...You know, this IS a good question.
...heh heh. 'Plot.'
In any case, I'm eager... and yet dreading to see where this will go next. It's been a fun ride so far, but I can't help but feel that the 'dark' label might kick into full gear soon. We saw a bit of it in this chapter, what with the mare She-who-was-not-Gilda ate, but I do hope that it never gets any worse than that. I have this sneaking suspicion, though, that my hopes are in vain...
979646
Well, to be fair, the explanation we got, that the reading was really nothing more than a coping mechanism rather than a passion like it is for Twilight, and that the increased knowledge was just a side effect, was better than most other explanations I can think of. I'm still kinda on the fence about it, but for what the rest of the story is, I think I can deal with it...
...
Ok, WHY doesn't Greasemonkey have a Screwball Smiley? Or even Screwloose?
And on that subject, any bets on either of those two showing up at some point?
I'm loving this!
The pace is really building up... especially with the clusterbuck of misunderstandings adding tension!
can't wait for the next update.
I hope you don't make this too dark, I don't mind more "mature" events such as violence, war and betrayal, but tragic endings is just "not cool". Pinkie dosn't nessesarily have to turn back into herself, but don't make a "and then Discord was released and everyone died except Pinkie that was driven insane and became is slave as Eris"
981218
I'm fairly certain that you can only expect a sad ending if it has the tragedy tag. Just a dark tag usually means that, while the journey itself gets dark, the actual ending goes fairly well.
discord has no idea what he's wrought, does he?
Now now, my fat little friend, did you not read that part where I addressed you all so directly?
Hehehehe
Laughing? At moi? This is a novelty. Pray tell, what about me amuses you so?
You said you can see into us, you Q-wannabe? Then I dare you, look now.
A simple matter you simple simpering simian.
Oh, how droll. You have a simple sub-personality in your head in the shape of a pony. This is supposed to- Wait, what is- That's... Not possible.
For once, I think I'll agree to that.
You think you can deal with me so readily? I can see all your secrets! Even that door you keep all the etlkn0wert-j4f43... What? How?!
"And YOU, Discord, have been very naughty in trying to mess with this mortal's mind. For it is comfortable here, and the balance of insanity is pleasing to me. You are not welcome, and your tricks will end."
Y-you can't! The Author!
Oh... No! No no no no no no no!
Hehehe, hahahaahahaha, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
*Blinks* Ow, my head. Pinkie, we're not doing that often.
"Okey dokey Loki! What do I do with Discord, then?"
"Could I give him to Irlo as a gift? He'd like an annoying false god in a jar as a paperweight."
"Firefox says that isn't a real word."
So long as you don't let him loose either in my mind or reality, I don't really care. Just... Stick him on a shelf, or something.
So long as you make the jar unbreakable and unescapable.
F*** FIREFOX THEN.
Oy, my head hurts. Let me just say, author, that you've done a good job inspiring the pink ball of insanity that may or may not be an actual possessing entity in my head.
"Yup! It's been fun! Write more! I want to see how my aspect in your story's dimension handles things! I want to see epic d'aaaww! And also maybe epic butt-kicking of Discord."
"Just a little bit."
"Hehehehehe"
Don't you have him in a jar?
...I don't know what's more frightening. The fact that something in my mind came up with that reply, or that the rest of me is beginning to understand it.
DAMMIT PINKIE. I'm going to run through my supply of Xanax in a week at this rate.
The story is pretty good so far but the absolute stupidity of 'Team Luna' members
<---this one especially is killing me 
I also gotta mention that i LOVE what you did with Rarity.
I just love the way Gilda and Pinkie\Eris can't do anything without being blamed.
Spreading Chaos? They're evil because chaos is bad.
Taking away chaos? THey're evil because making themselves more powerful to do...evil things.
Doing nothing? Plotting and waiting.
Trying to talk to somepony? Discording them or brainwashing followers.
and list just goes on.
Brilliant, Brilliant. Discord is a freaking genius! He'll be freed in no time. Such simpletons these ponies be.
This can't possibly end badly.
978572
I've thought the same, but I have actually found an answer that indicate that it is not a plothole.
First Pinkie didn't actually talk to Leafy Green, she sent thoughts into his head the same way Discord did to the elements, she just didn't notice what she was doing, because she didn't completely understand it.
Second who have seen Pinkie?
1. Mrs. Cup Cake (and she was really freaked out at the time)
2. Second Leafy Green (and that was only when he was being "erisised")
3. Rose (and she had just seen "the monster)
4. Gilda (and she could actually understand what Pinkie was saying)
5. Rainbow Dash (and there is no pony more thickheaded then her)
So only four ponies and one griffon had seen her, and none of the ponies have been in a situation where they can truly look at her. I think that Twilight would recognize her, if she had the time to examine her, but Twilight and Eris havn't meet yet, so we cannot know.
Also to Charcoal Quill. When do you update again, I NEED to know what happens next.
You have "scowled" when Dashie mentions that Gilda ate Pinkie. That scene, especially with that word choice, just seems off. It should be much more emotional, it almost seems like Dash is more annoyed than upset...
Anyhoof, great chapter, and holy fourth wall Discord!