Totally Optional Epilogue
A/N: Chapter 6 ends this story precisely how I wanted it to. The tale was always just a day-in-the-life, a quick glimpse into a world filled with improbable shipping partners and even more improbable events. This little epilogue is a completely optional little snippet, bringing the Equestria I've cruelly thrown Dash at into the folds of 'canon' Equestria, because I found it funny. Here's hoping you do too!
***
At their weekly Pony Pet Playdate, five friends gathered with their beloved animals for an afternoon of fun. It wasn’t long before all five of them, and their pets, were happily playing and talking, filling Ponyville Park with the sounds of laughter and joyful voices. This really was a great time for them all; it brought these very different personalities together, for a few hours of carefree interaction.
There was a sixth pony, however, who was once again conspicuously absent.
After they’d gotten pleasantries out of the way and left the pets to play together, the girls sat down for a picnic. Twilight felt it was a good time to get down to business. “Girls, I know we’ve talked about this before…” she started, standing up and glancing across the faces of her friends. “…But I seriously think that we need to do something about Rainbow Dash.”
“Twilight, dear…” Rarity began, her half-eaten sandwich floating before her. “We’ve been over this, haven’t we? We all agreed that we can’t do much more than just let this run its course. Why are you bringing it up again?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow before pointing a hoof upwards. The group panned their heads back and spotted a single cloud, hovering just above them in the otherwise clear sky, which had somehow managed to gain a rainbow-coloured tail.
“Oooh! Hi, Raincloud Dash!” Pinkie called, waving wildly with her forehooves before falling backwards, snorting with laughter over her own pun.
The cloud suddenly sprouted a pair of eyes, narrowed in anger. “Oh, come on!” The cloud yelled back furiously. “Can’t you guys just leave me alone?!” With that, a pair of blue wings emerged from the cloud, and it flew away at speed.
Twilight sighed, raising a drink to her lips. The farmer lying next to her snorted, pushing her hat out of her eyes so that she could glance up at Twilight wearily. “Sugarcube, we’ve been over this more times than ah can count,” she drawled. “That pony’s ego is bigger’n a buffalo’s behind! Ah don’t think there’s nuthin’ we can do.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Celestia knows we’ve tried.”
Twilight frowned at both the defeatist attitude and the affront to grammar in her friend’s speech. “I know that, AJ, but there’s got to be something we can do! There must be something we haven’t tried yet! Doesn’t anypony else want to try again?” she asked pleadingly, meeting the eyes of her other three friends individually, hoping that at least one of them would back her up.
“Well I, for one, am beginning to tire of her dramatics,” Rarity admittted, wiping her mouth daintily with a levitating napkin. “Why, just the other day I happened up on her in a café, wearing the most…” the unicorn paused, shuddering at the memory. “…revolting get-up, as some form of crude disguise! Honestly, I was almost glad when she crashed through the wall and got drenched—at least it washed out the worst of that abominable colouration!” Her eyes narrowed. “And what she did to that delightful cook! Such a gentlecolt, and she knocked him unconscious and destroyed his wonderful café, without a single word of apology! How very uncouth.”
As the unicorn sniffed dismissively, and before Twilight could question how Rainbow ended up demolishing a wall, Applejack sat up, a look of disbelief on her face. “You. Tired of somepony bein’ dramatic.” She didn’t sound convinced.
Twilight intervened quickly to both refocus the conversation and to head off the argument she knew was about to follow. “It gets worse! I even called in Princess Celestia to try and talk to Dash, but Rainbow didn’t even wait to hear what she had to say! She just flew away.” Twilight sighed dejectedly, sinking to her haunches. “The Princess was even kind enough to bring some of her royal guards along with her, to clear out all the fans hanging around outside her house. I hoped that would give her some breathing space, but apparently she just thought the guards were after her, too.”
Applejack sighed wearily, raising an eyebrow. “That fan club o’ hers is still givin’ her trouble, huh?”
Twilight nodded. “Personally, I think it’s the real source of this whole issue. It’s become much more of an issue recently, and especially since the wedding. After she pulled off the Rainboom there, the press have been calling her the ‘next great Wonderbolt’, and ever since that, they’ve been sitting outside her house.” Twilight smiled a little. “Along with the regulars, of course. Scootaloo practically lives on Dash’s porch nowadays.” She looked at Applejack questioningly. “I thought your sister was gonna talk to her about that?”
Applejack grunted. “Ah did ask her. She said she tried, but that whole club ain’t listening.”
Rarity nodded in agreement. “According to Sweetie Belle, there’s been quite a number of ponies from further away that have come to Ponyville purely to join that silly little appreciation society.” Rarity laughed derisively. “Honestly! Glory hounds, the lot of them! Hopping onto the latest bandwagon and riding it for all it’s worth!”
Applejack turned to Rarity once again, a smirk on her face. “Followin’ a trend, huh? Ain’t that, like… the main point o’ yer job?”
Rarity spluttered indignantly, her blush prompting Applejack to laughter. “Well! I… that is, ahem… it’s completely different!” She insisted. “I adhere to—and set, I’ll have you know—the latest trends in fashion, whereas these attention seekers merely wish to leap on the coattails of a rising star, and claim they were there at the beginning!”
Pinkie raised her head from the bucket of candies that she’d somehow gotten to the picnic without anypony noticing—and, wisely, nopony chose to question it—to add in, “C’mon Rare, can you blame them? She is pretty awesome!”
The fashionista stopped her rant to consider that, before breaking into a small smile. “Well, I suppose.”
After a moment of silence, Fluttershy cleared her throat—as much as squeaking counted as clearing the throat—before piping up and bringing the topic back to point. “I’ve, uh, tried talking to… her… as well, but she just thinks that I’m… uhm, you know…” her face was suddenly bright red.
“We know.” The other four ponies spoke in unison. They’d all had their share of conversations with the pegasus, and they’d all ended the same way.
“It just doesn’t make sense!” Twilight groaned, slapping a forehoof on her head. “I mean, sure, plenty of ponies admire her, but where did she get this idea from?” She kicked out at a rock in powerless frustration. “Every time we try to help her, she just assumes we’re part of… that we’re thinking about…” Her voice trailed off and she blushed slightly. “…you know, that.”
Applejack snorted, collapsing back to the ground and lowering her Stetson over her eyes. “Twi hun, that pony’s just in a world of her own these days,” she said, chuckling dryly. “Ah reckon that we need ta just give her some space, ‘til her ego dies down a little.”
Twilight sighed again. “You’re probably right… I just hate not being able to do anything.” She muttered. “We’ve tried everything, though! I’ve done all the research I can into psychology, but when I tried to discuss it with her, she kicked me out of her house! You tried a more… ahem… ‘forceful’ approach, Applejack, and it had the same result; Rarity’s spoken with her too… heck, even Fluttershy gave it a go!” As a hoof was jabbed in her direction, Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane and cowered on the ground, meeping.
“Oh…uhm, well, I haven’t really tried to talk to her since that one time I mentioned, since she gets all angry and scary whenever any of us try…” the shy pony mumbled, before braving a glance up at her friends and giving a small smile. “Oh! But I did help the Wonderbolts after Rainbow…well, you know…” She drifted off again, looking sad, before shaking her head slightly and giving the gathering a genuine, strong smile. “And I got them to promise not to hold this whole thing against her, and to give her a second chance when she’s ready. They said it’s the least they could do after I… uh, well… you know, the stitches and all.”
Twilight winced slightly; it was true that some of the ace fliers had been a little worse for wear after Rainbow had finished with them. Still, she gave Fluttershy a thankful nod; it was only through her pleadings—and Dash’s own famous flight skills, of course—that the pegasus still had the chance to join the stunt group.
A pink ball of energy suddenly sprang up mere inches from Twilight’s nose, an enormous smile on its face. “Oh, pick me next! I helped too!” Pinkie Pie cried, bouncing up and down. “I threw a sink at her!” she announced in a sing-song voice.
Twilight nodded absently. “Oh yeah, and Pinkie threw… a…” the unicorn’s voice faded as her brain started processing what her friend had just said. “A what?” she shrieked.
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically at the dumbfounded group. “Uh huh!” she beamed. “I figured, ‘wow, Dashie sure is being silly about all this, and nothing normal like talking or, y’know, being brilliant friends with her is working!’” The beam shifted into the kind of devious smile that gave the Cakes nightmares. “So I thought, if ‘normal’ ain’t working, why not try something ‘super-duper-not-normal’? And what’s more not-normal than a flying sink? Nothing, I tell ya!” The pink pony sat back proudly, not even stopping to take a breath after that monologue. “It was the perfect plan.”
Silence reigned for a few moments as everypony tried to process the logic being used. Unfortunately, since it was Pinkie Pie logic, it didn’t really fit into their own minds very well. The closest anypony came was Applejack, who managed a stunned “…Guh?”
As the others came to terms with her thought process, Pinkie’s exuberant smile slowly faded into a muted frown, and she sank down on her haunches slightly.
“Well, I thought it was the perfect plan,” she admitted. “I even wrote ‘NOTICE ME’ in great big pink letters, so she’d be sure to see it and know it was from me!” Pinkie glanced around the group earnestly. “I thought Dashie would be so curious, she’d have to look on the bottom of the sink and read the other message there—the one that said ‘stop being such a dumb moody pony and just be friends with us all again, you silly filly!’” She sighed dejectedly. “At least, that’s what I’d do. I always check the bottom of the sink for hidden messages. I mean, that’s what it’s for, right? And then, she came into Sugar Cube Corner later, and I totally thought it had worked! I mean, sure, I had to tie her up a little, to stop her from running away all over again... but after that, I was totally friendly and stuff! I even tried to put together a quick ‘Hurray You’re Back To Normal And Now We Can Be Bestest Friends Forever Again’ party!” she shuffled uncomfortably. “But no, it was more of that silly sappy stuff she’s always going on about these days.”
Pinkie sniffled sadly, looking to be on the verge of tears. “She asked me why I liked her, and then there was something about us making cupcakes, and then when I went to check on the twins and make us some snacks, she fired herself out of my party cannon, just to get away from me! Why would somepony do that?!”
Twilight could think of several reasons why anypony forced to spend too much time in Pinkie Pie’s presence would want to be fired out of a cannon, but she felt this wasn’t the best time to present such evidence. Instead, she opted for the old friendship standby: a compassionate hug. She reached towards the party pony and embraced her, awkwardly patting her back with a hoof.
“Don’t worry, Pinkie,” Twilight promised. “Like Applejack said, it’s probably just a phase. There might not be anything we can do about it now, but I’m sure she’ll be back to her normal self again soon enough, and then everything can go back to how it was.”
Moments later, Twilight felt a loving warmth surround her, as the other three ponies present joined in on the compassion. Trapped within the group hug, Pinkie had no choice but to feel better. She giggled slightly, glancing around at the smiling faces of her friends. “Yeah, I guess you girls are right,” she admitted softly. “It’s just Dashie being silly. I’m sure she’ll snap out of it soon.”
Twilight let go of Pinkie, sitting back and giving her an encouraging smile. “Exactly!” she agreed. Her eyes softened slightly as she turned to stare after the cloud-shrouded pony in question, who had long disappeared into the distance. “She’ll snap out of it soon,” Twilight repeated quietly.
“She’s got to.”
THE END.
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That had more implied horror than I expected.
I KNEW IT.
Dash is just full of herself.
>inb4 Captain McMuffin? More like Captain OBVIOUS
...What? The WHOLE thing was a misunderstanding?
OH WELL
Now I know what you're all thinking; did I do this epilogue just so I could find a convoluted way to make that sink all Pinkie's fault?
The answer is, yes. Yes, I did.
And I'm okay with that.
(Also, please note the bit in the title where is says that this is TOTALLY OPTIONAL. I preferred how the story ends in chapter 6, but I loved this idea too, so I had to stick it up in some way. If you like, this is me giving you some semblance of a catharsis, as well as relating the whole story back to "canon" Equestria, instead of having it set in my own "Rainbow Dash's 'Monkey Paw' Universe But It Ends Alright Because She's Too Awesome To Be Held Back By Little Things Like Being Lusted After By Every Sentient Creature" Equestria.
You're welcome.)
Um... Huh? I- I really don't know what to think. I highly doubt it was just Dashies ego getting to her.
It'd work better if it were all a giant prank, because unless Dash is completely delusional and is hearing voices that aren't there, the previous chapters don't make much sense anymore.
DUN DUN DUUUUN..
PLOT TWIST *cough* uh..perhapes there are better words i could use for this situation in particular...how about change of..uh story drive
It's all in her head? It's all in her head?
Buhahhahahahha!
But yeah, they really need to get her some therapy.
This should totally no be optional.
As you left the story, it made no gosh damn sense. The whole time we are tease of there bein a reason for this insanity. Then you just say, "No, sorry! Trololololo!!"
If chapter six is the cannon ending, then Dash loses her best friends, he element sof harmony can no longer protect Equestria, and Dahs spends the rest of her life alone, running. That sucks.
This ending made absolutely no sense. Dash is now completely delusional? Simply having a big ego doesn't mean you start hallucinating that people are obsessed love hounds. There's absolutely no explanation about why the whole event happened, and for all we know this ending implies she remains a delusional madmare for the rest of her days.
Sorry, but I'm not impressed. This ending seemed like an ass pull to me and pretty much ruined the rest of the story.
Ok, this all sounds quite plausible...except one thing. If its all in dash's head, then why did pinkie get the cakes' twins to tie dash up when she visited pinkie?
(also, I love what you did with the sink, seeing it from dash's perspective, and from pinkie's perspective)
1482224 alternatively:
"As you left the story, it made perfect sense. The whole time we are given the reason for this insanity (e.g. the end of chapter two, in Pinkie's dialogue in chapter five, towards the end of chapter six, in multiple comments and blog posts, and even in the EQD pre-reader's quote). Then you just say, "hey, if you guys want a catharsis instead of an open ending, here's one that you're welcome to!
If chapter six is the canon ending, then Dash copes with the world she's living in, determined to get everything she wants from it, and focused on overcoming the obstacles she faces, no matter how seemingly insurmountable. That's awesome."
I want more... Will there be a sequel?
1482243
well, it is possible as bizarre as her friends can be that the other don't realize just how not normal their attempts at being rational are and the Dash's reactions do make sense
you need a sequel where everything gets placed right. Because this absolutely horrifying.
And you're an awesome enough author to do it right. Seriously, I want to not like the story due to the fridge horror, but I can't because you wrote it well.
1482263
Okay yeah, crazy shippers run Equestria.
Wait, what? So, we have an answer, on that works from our side of the fourth wall, but no reason was given in the story, on their side.
Look, I'm not dissing your story, I love it! It's hilarious in many ways. My problem, and it is my problem, is I can't help but think about years in the future. Rainbow, alone in her house, not having talked to anypony sane for years, the shades drawn shut so lust-obsessed maniacs don't stare at her all day. Remember, the flip side of loving people adore you is hating being alone. That's kinda depressing. With the epilogue, she's just having some kind of episode, and there's hope.
Then, one day, she realizes that the world isn't run by crazy shippers, just one sadistic author who won't let her be happy.
And then psychological disorders.
My god.
I agree, as well, a sequel is entirely within the realm of possibility, but not entirely necessary.
1482075>>1482251
That's where the horror of it comes in: It's not all in her head. How much of it is real?
Of course it was all in her head. I should have known. But part of me was hoping that this was all real and there was something else amiss.
Okay, if it was all a misunderstanding, then what was with Twilight locking her in her house? Pinkie Pie's pucker/explanation of feeling "tingly"? And what about the Wonderbolts issue?
Seriously, what was up with that?
So, everything that happened was an hallucination? Including being tied by Pinkie Pie and the Cake's twins? Sorry, but i can't buy that. One thing is missunderstanding the appreciation of everyone, and i could accept that. But the part of Pinkie Pie is just too much to accept it as non-real. Sorry, but you just broke the story. And it was a good one until that.
Still is my opinion, don't let it rustle your jimmies. But let me know that the way you ended this sure rustled mines.
Mare-Do-Well time...
Everypony hates Rainbow Dash till she snaps out of her ego trip!
FUND IT
Also... Poor Spitfire... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_sad.png
She really did like Dashie
Poor RD.
That explains a lot.
To me, this explanation makes more sense than "everypony loves RD for no reason".
Mostly because it actually is an explanation.
Just gonna say this.
This ending is a whole lot more believable.
I will pretend I didn't read this epilogue,
nope just six awesome chapters.
WaferThin, are you trying to please everypony with this "optional epilogue"? It's your story and you should be the one in charge, if this is your choice only because you want to then ignore this part.
I feel chapter 6 was left open but not as open as to hint this epilogue, that's why I feel this is like a opt out for all who didn't like where you stopped the story.
Personally I'd love to have an epic conclusion but as horrible (not in quality but in situation) as the ending was in chapter 6, I was ok with it (its just a story after alldl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png ), this epilogue just backpedals all the momentum that you build up in the previous chapters, so my opening sentence stands (at least for me).dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
I feel marginally better for having a this epilogue, because I didn't feel the previous chapters was an end. Like, at all. Nothing was explained, nothing was resolved, and I found that deeply unsatifying (and to be brutally honest, it felt a bit like a cop-out.) At least this, full of quiet but amusing horror as it was (sorta), provided an explanation. But only marginally, because even here, the situation is not really resolved, merely explained. I think you would have been better served coming up with a cause and solving it (either in the fic or a sequel).
"Rainbow dash deals with it because she's awesome" just isn't a good enough answer for me, and I agree with Jake the Army Guy, I can't help but follow the effects of what being constantly on the run every day would do to Dash (and realisitically, it would stop her doing anything in the long run; can't be a Wonderbolt putting on a show if everypony doesn't want to watch you perform and would rather chase you down to try and... ship you.)
I don't like these sort of open endings, when it comes down to it, period.
QWat. O_O
1483073 hmmmm i can't quite put my hoof on it but...i just feel that...your name is..a lie
WHAT. Just, WHAT
. This needs a supermegafoxyawesomehot sequel where rainbowdash has to find the source of the problem. Oh, And no Daring Do attack? That seems like a necessity.
I CAN STOP GIVING AWAY TIME VORTEX MANIPULATORS.
I would help you write the 'sequel' if you needed me too, I just feel like alot of RD fans would appreciate it if you had an alternate alternate ending so that
1482438 Soooooresaying you, You're not buying this because pinkie doesn't make sense?
Logic fails me.
Basically, with this chapter we're left realizing that Dashie is literally insane, having auditory and visual hallucinations. But then there's the Wonderbolts. Did she hallucinate them trying to catch her with a net? If she didn't, how would their actions be explained? Basically, the story creates three separate possibilities, none of which the story points to as being more likely than another.
One: Dashie is bonkers. Pretty straightforward, she's become a paranoid schizophrenic.
Two: Dashie is right, and whatever is affecting everyone is rewriting their memories of how their acting around her, so that outside of her direct influence, they believe everything is normal except her.
Three: Dashie is right, and everyone is lying to each other to cover their actions. This is honestly the weakest theory. If most ponies were at least partially in control of their faculties, they would be able to make the connection that there was a wide-scale usurpation of wills going on. A pony like Twilight, or Celestia for that matter, wouldn't be able to accept the situation, and would attempt to get to the bottom of it. This theory is only a possibility if at the time, no one has come to said realization yet.
All in all, sucks to be Dashie
I huh wha? yeah wut?
After this goes on for too long, her friends try holding an intervention. By then, Rainbow Dash was spent far too long alone, with no one else, thinking that the world is out to get her. She would have made inanimate friends like Pinkie Pie in Party Of One, the only ones who she thinks aren't hitting on her.They are her best friends and she doesn't need anyone else. She's also taken upon a job at the Rainbow Factory.
Her friends are thoroughly freaked out and believe she needs psychological help. They ship (no pun intended) her off to an asylum. The End.
Either that or Rainbow Dash finds the authour...
I have a question though. What's up with all the glazed eyes then? Was Rainbow Dash just overreacting and imagining any sort of eye as glazed over? And where did Rainbow Dash first get the idea anyway? There's a bunch of fans, yeah. But it would more than a bunch of of overzealous fans to make her think that. Doesn't she read any sort of magazine? Or talk to anyone? They would have probably congratulated her on being so awesome that the press call her the next Wonderbolt, and that would've explained the press and fans. Her friends might try to explain it to her, but couldn't they have tried normally, instead of going to drastic measures? Or did Rainbow just overreact like crazy? Rainbow Dash seems to be jumping to a lot of conclusions here. Are they sure she wasn't already mentally unstable?
Also, Spitfire was supposed to talk to her, right? So, does that mean Spitfire is bad at doing stuff under pressure? I wouldn't think so, since she's a performer. Which means she a bad actor...
Or does she actually like Dash?
And here I thought there was some big conspiracy to the whole thing.
Only for you, Galapagois, would I read a story centered around constant shipping... about Rainbow Dash, no less. Not only read it, but read all seven chapters of it in an hour and a half. Not only that, but only you could've gotten me to actually LIKE it. You crazy British wizard of words you.
INSTANT UNFAVE!
YOU DESTROYED THE WHOLE STORY! 
YOU EEEEEDEEEYOTT!!!
Now on to serious boueez-niss... I preferred the Chapter Six ending, so I take the OPTIONAL EPILOGUE statement literally and reject this as the canon conclusion. Boom. No longer my headcanonfanon... thingy.
So they're completely unaware of what they're doing? Damn, shit just got real, pardon my Ossie.
i'm sorry but this ending sucks real bad. it destroys the whole story. i know its optional but still. even if dash WAS crazy, stuff that the wonderbolts and pinkie did won't make sense. dash hurt the wonderbolts because they used a net as they flew, there no way dash could of made that thing up and beat up a group of ponies. A GROUP OF PONIES. then there pinkie. pinkie tied dash up. i think you need to do a pov of each character to fix this OR reveal each pony thinks everything is normal but in fact dash was right. and what about the moon thing? anyway, i knew a bad ending will happen or a open ended ending be used, since you wrote ya self into a comer.
1483832
Congratulations. You beat me to the Rainbow Factory reference, as well as every point I was about to make--or most of them, anyway.
Have a nice day!
--Not a brony
i.imgur.com/KhbII.png
Leo: ...Bullshit
Yeah you gotta work on your dramatic plot twists. Unless there was some kinda magic spell that made rainbow dash hear/ see everything differently, it doesn't work. Reminds me of the origami killer in heavy rain, you can hear all his thoughts, but the fact that he murders children doesn't even cross his mind.
So yeah, I'll just label this non canon
*Edit, How can so many people actually think this is plausible?
I like this ending SO much better than the other one, those kind of unclear, meaningful endings make me want to stab my self in the eyeball then choke a puppy. So yeah thanks for this, great story your a good writer
It is a bit of a left field ending, but what the hay? the entire thing was left field.
still you know, more hilarity would be nice. (how are you going to explain the moon?) This means I want moar.
1483691 fluttershy told them she helped patch up the wonderbolts so they where there.
1485472 yes, but do the circumstances that they were there under match up with Dashie's perceptions? Were they trying to catch her with net, or were they, say, stretching out a "welcome to the team" banner? An explanation of their reasons for being there, or even an account of the events from their perspective would probably shed a lot of light on what is actually going on.
1485590 k i see what you meen now.
Relevant.
I almost flipped my desk over after reading that it was all in her head.
But it makes sense, man
MOAR I say! We must have more of this Rainbow loving awesomeness!
As for Rainbow Dash....
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/228/068/132544482957.gif