After a long and exciting day, the outside world was settling down for a quiet and restful night. Gliding softly through the sky was none other than the Goddess of the Night herself, who was bringing in the nighttime for all the citizens of Equestria and the lands beyond. As Luna gently trailed among the clouds, in her wake was a darkened sky dotted with thousands of twinkling stars. The full moon shone brightly, bathing Mt. Aris and the villages below in a pale glow.
But little did anypony know, the night was going to be anything but peaceful...
Back on Mt. Aris, all the gods and goddesses were settling in for the night and the nursery was no different. Little Discord was fast asleep in his crib, along with his other infant roommates. Even though Discord was asleep, that didn't mean his powers were. As he slept, little Z's trickled out of his mouth and dissipated into the air around him.
Luna just finished her nightly rounds when she entered the bedroom she and her sister shared. She and Celestia have always been very close, but when their parents were viciously murdered when they were fillies, they became closer than anypony thought possible.
Eyes drooping, she climbed into the bed across from the one Celestia occupied and was currently sleeping soundly in. Luna sighed as she let her eyes fall without protest.
Just as Luna felt herself starting to dream, she was interrupted by crashing sounds and babies crying out in distress. Thinking it was all a part of her dream, she slept on. She tossed and turned uncomfortably in her bed, until she finally woke up.
She was surprised to see Celestia had woken up as well. Although still groggy from sleep, Luna knew immediately that those disruptive sounds weren't in her head, but were in fact real...
Celestia seemed to realize this too, for she looked at Luna in alarm as the crashing and the crying continued.
"The baby!" they exclaimed.
They galloped as fast as their hooves could carry them. When the sisters finally reached their destination, they burst through the silk curtain that led into the nursery and gasped in shock at what they saw...
In front of their eyes was baby Discord's crib, that now lay broken and disheveled...
So who are the other babies in the room? And this was an okay chapter.
8693908
Just other random babies
8693921
Okay, thanks.
Short, but nice one
As for your question about lie/lay:
The verb referring to something/somebody lying somewhere is lie (past simple lay, past perfect lain). That's the one you should have used. When something is put down, lay (past simple laid, past perfect laid) is the right word.
Hello! Found you and your story through the Authors Helping Authors Group. Wanted to start with something a bit shorter but with promise. Let's see how it turned out...
Name of Story: Hercules/Discord AU
Grammar: 7.5/10
Pros:
Cons:
Notes:
Not much to elaborate on at this point, but I can offer my services as a muse (appropriately enough) if you ever need them. I love these kind of stories and this one has a ton of potential. I can imagine so much- perhaps even using some of the animated series from Disney Channel? Or perhaps spin-offs involving more original content, versions of other Greek Myths.
I have some thoughts on characters that haven't appeared yet, and did not come up in your blog: Herc's parents, for example, could be replaced with Cranky and Matilda. Nessus, the centaur who was harassing Meg, could be portrayed by Bulk Biceps. Or Iron Will. Or, my personal favorite version, Angel Bunny. Rainbow Dash might make a good Hermes, though I think Pinkie would be a better match personality-wise. There's also the matter of Pegasus, Hercules' horse- Discord has ridden a flying pig in the past. Oh, and the cyclopes- perhaps Trixie? There haven't been many lower-level villains who were still a significant threat.
I'm a bit disappointed that Cerberus wasn't mentioned, he is canon after all.
I enjoyed this, and I look forward to future updates.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Pony la Pony. If you want, you can do a review of just 1 chapter, they are quite long.
8693993
Love your royal canterlot family series.