On Getting to the Bottom of this "Equestrian" Business

by McPoodle

Chapter 7: Markism in England and America

Chapter 7: Markism in England and America

June 20, 1985.

Zero minus 8 days.

Bishop Truth Delver and his group didn’t find out about President Shooter’s brush with death until the next morning. They of course had no idea about that other brush with death, the one that had imperiled the whole of humanity just a few hours ago. The group rejoined in the limousine to continue their journey to Canterlot, spending nearly an hour in quiet contemplation.

Eventually Gus uttered a huge sigh and looked Delver in the eye. “I suppose we shouldn’t waste too much more of this expensive alone time. So what happened after King Richard woke up?”

The bishop took a moment to collect himself. “England in 1189 ruled more of what we think of as France than the nominal king of France did, and Richard, growing up in Aquitaine, spoke French more fluently than English,” Delver began.

“Hold on,” Gus interrupted. “I’ll admit the history lesson yesterday was pretty interesting, but not particularly useful for our research, which I want to get to the moment we arrive at your lab. As it is, I suspect we’d have to circle America five or six times before we got to the present day. Am I right?”

Delver shrugged. “Probably. I just really love history.”

“Well, give me the capsule version.”

Delver sighed. “All right. But I still have a little bit to say about Richard I before I can skip ahead.

“It’s pretty obvious that the king had a vision when he touched the sun stone. He possessed the body of his pony counterpart, a brave and heroic prince named Blueblood. The Goddess figured this out, and for the first and only time, was forgiving of his accidental crime—apparently bodily possession is something that happens often enough to ponies for there to be specific laws forbidding it. In the time before the effect of the stone wore off and he was returned to his own body, King Richard was taught the tenets of Harmony, and when he came back to his Earthly existence—with Blueblood’s mark printed on the surface of the sun stone as proof of his vision—he determined to live by those tenets. He never wrote his experiences down, but there’s an account from nearly a hundred years later that claims to tell what happened. You may have encountered a painting depicting the central scene from that story: Fall of a Jousting Pony.”

When Gus shook his head, Gnosi produced a large coffee table book and opened it to a bookmarked page. It appeared to be a lesser work of Rubens or one of his followers, a sketch that had only partially been filled in with paint. The central figure was a pure white pony with a yellow mane and tail, covered with a traditional caparison, caught in the act of tripping over something and falling on his face. The pony had a remarkably human expression of surprise, and his eyes were directed to the upper right corner of the painting. But all that can be seen in that corner was the light of the setting sun, turning the sky into stripes of pale pink, blue and green. Also missing from the painting was any sign of the pony’s rider, despite the fact that a jousting lance was floating on the far side of the pony, in a position to be held by a rider if a rider was ever drawn in.

“The artist was a Christian from Flanders,” Gnosi explained, “and so he was given his commission without being told what it represented. But as you can see, the cloth covering the pony has a compass symbol over the pony’s flank, which is the mark of both the Blueblood pony family as well as the English royal family starting with Richard, their counterparts. The lance is positioned so that it forms the horn of this secret unicorn. And the sky colors are the colors of the Goddess’ mane.” He looked over to Delver to continue his story.

“When Richard was interviewed by his priests, he claimed to have received ‘a new way of thinking’ from God. He certainly didn’t mention a goddess pony, or that he had left the Christian religion. These were secrets he kept from the public to his grave. In all outward respects, he remained faithful.

“His first act on returning to England was to summon his brother John, who he then forced to undergo the same wrenching experience that he did. In this way, he hoped to keep his new secret religion confined to the royal family, the ‘touching of the Stone’ to be a coming of age ceremony from then on.

“Richard was succeeded by John as king in 1205. John kept just as silent about his Equestrian experience with contemporary priest-historians as Richard, but modern-day Markist historians believe that he probably rejected it as a hallucination. He was an extremely practical and self-centered man, the closest thing to an atheist as the age was able to produce.

“Around 1210, King John rewarded his closest follower, William Longespée, with the opportunity to touch a piece of the Stone—regardless of what he himself believed, the nobility had decided that something special happened to those who touched it, and were jealous that only royalty were allowed to do it. Because it was only a piece, Longespée did not possess his counterpart, and did not have a vision. All that happened was his mark appearing on the plaque he touched.

“Word soon got out, and soon the entire English aristocracy wanted plaques of their own. They saw them as divine affirmation of their status as the rightful rulers of the land. John responded by charging through the nose for the experience. This was one of the hundreds of aggravations that led to Magna Carta.

“Magna Carta has a number of ‘secret’ clauses in it that are not taught in most history classes, mostly because the document is held in such high regard by fans of democracy. For example there was a bit in there about expelling the Jews out of England, which I imagine you probably already know about.”

Gus shrugged. “I don’t go out of my way to collect anti-Semitic insults. I wouldn’t have time to do anything else with my life if I did.”

“Right,” said Delver, abashed. “Well there’s another clause in there demanding that John distribute pieces of the sun stone so that the aristocracy—and only the aristocracy—could get mark plaques in perpetuity. As a result, the sun stone ceased to exist, split up into dozens of pieces. The royal family alone retained a piece big enough so that anytime somebody touched it, they would end up possessing a pony, thereby getting the ‘full’ marking experience. Needless to say, the Goddess was not happy with humans continuing to violate Her wish that Her ponies retain their autonomy.

“So now there were two forms of Markism in England: a proto-religion among the royal family, and a minor miracle among the aristocracy—a miracle believed to be Christian in origin.

“Since I’m telling the short version, I won’t go over the details, but gradually the tenets of Markism were leaked to the aristocracy, and the English people at large. In the early stages, they were thought to be ways to be a better Christian, but over time, the evidence that marking not only revealed one’s true essence, but endowed oneself with abilities just this side of miraculous gave the English people the growing conviction that Markism was something much more. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until the days of the Protestant Reformation that anyone was daring to declare out loud the existence of a Goddess.

“In the 1360’s, Henry Percy, Warden of the Marches, had made a reputation for himself as a fierce fighter against the Scots, despite following Markist teachings in other respects. His career was tragically cut short when he fell in the Battle of Annandale in early 1377. Before word of his death had reached London, the new English king Richard II sent a letter making Henry the Earl of Northumberland. Henry’s widow, Lady Margaret, had no intention of giving up the title just because the intended recipient was dead. Visibly pregnant with Henry’s son, she gathered his followers together, dissolved his lion mark plaque in lemon juice and drank it, thereby symbolically imbuing her son with the heroic qualities of his father. The night before giving birth, she had a vivid dream ending with a mysterious voice pronouncing the name she must give her son: Hotspur. He was born with dark blue skin and light blue hair, the war colors of the Picts. This was all seen as highly significant, especially when Hotspur’s mark ended up being a literal hot spur, and before too long after reaching his majority he had become the virtual king of northern England. With his herald leading his forces into battle…”—Delver suddenly caught himself—“somebody you don’t need to know anything else about, he built up a string of unstoppable victories. He eventually died at the Battle of Shrewsbury in 1403 fighting against the future King Henry V, which I won’t cover in detail because this is the short version. The point is that after Hotspur’s death, mothers throughout England began ingesting mark plaques so they might learn the correct Markist names to give their children, and so they might be born with the same colorful complexions as their Perfect World counterparts—not that anybody would admit out loud to believing such outrageous concepts as the ‘Perfect World’ at that point.”

“Now that is interesting,” remarked Gus. “If all Markists have inactivated plaque compounds in their blood, and probably absorbed into their bones as well, what would happen if it were activated?”

Meridiem and Gnosi shared a significant look. “You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Meridiem finally said.

“I agree,” Delver said. “We’ll have to find a way to book you some time in the Solarium.”

“Very well,” said Gus with obvious disappointment. “Another question: If everyone was using Markist names by the Fifteenth Century, why do the kings at the very least still have Christian names? Elizabeth I, Henry VIII, George III, and so on?”

“Because their fellow monarchs refused to take seriously anybody named King Blueblood XIV, that’s why. Also as you’ll see, Markism would eventually fall out of favor in England, and when that happened everybody suddenly dug up their Christian names for themselves and their ancestors and started pretending that they had never even heard of Markism. But let me tell you how that happened first.”

“Between the Thirteenth and Nineteenth Centuries, the pieces of the sun stone got smaller and smaller, until the lesser families were no longer able to mark plaques by just touching them. Also, the religion—and it was a religion by now—had spread pretty far among the common people, spreading out the stones even further. It was the alchemist Hair Splitter in 1691 who discovered that hay smoke, which was considered toxic to Markists, would induce a marking trance in low enough concentrations, finally making the ceremony available to the general public. Unfortunately, the experiments accidentally claimed his life and since he hadn’t published his findings, they were lost until the first Prime Minister of Great Britain discovered them in 1725…and passed them off as his own as a way to bolster his popularity among the masses. It would be two centuries before the true discoverer would be revealed.

“We’ll now skip ahead to 1865. Secularism had been growing in popularity as an alternative to both Markism and Christianity, but both soon fell before a growing tide of Spiritualism. Among Christians, this new movement was dedicated to making contact with the spirits of the dead, but for Markism, it was an obsession with Equestria, experimenting with near-lethal doses of hay smoke and narcotics to induce longer and longer periods of pony possession. Equestria was declared to be a far superior world to the grim industrial setting of contemporary England, so well described by authors such as Charles Dickens. The stated goal of this group was to leave this world entirely, and become ponies permanently. As many as 1100 humans managed to take over pony bodies in this way.

“It probably won’t surprise you to learn that the Goddess did not like this turn of events one bit. After failing to use both reason and pleading to stop the possessions, She felt She had no choice but to turn to drastic action. In an event known as the British Eviction of 1865, she forced every one of these invading souls back into their bodies. Well, not all of them back into their proper bodies, but most of them did at least retain their species and gender, but not necessarily their race or class. Oh and there were consistent rumors made by his political opponents that Lord Palmerston switched bodies with a foul-tempered mongoose kept in the London Zoo. The Goddess also made sure to make her displeasure known in a vivid dream she gave to every Markist in Britain on July 7th, a vision traumatizing enough to fill up the nation’s insane asylums for years to come. Markism in Great Britain pretty much ceased to exist on July 8, 1865.”

“Wow!” declared Gus, his expression equal parts shock and amusement. “I’ll make a note for my experiments not to try anything unless I have it from you that it won’t tick off this goddess of yours.”

“Well, to give Her credit, She had been telling humans not to take over her subject’s brains for hundreds of years, and yet the royals at the very least continued to take over Bluebloods’ like clockwork. Even an immortal like Her would have to lose Her temper eventually.”

“So am I correct in assuming that the color effects of ingesting dissolved plaques wears off if it is not maintained? After all, I’ve visited England before, and the only tinted people I ever saw were American tourists.”

“Correct,” answered Delver. “It takes two generations for the effects to completely fade, although after the first generation, the descendants stop having the marking dream.

“So let’s back up and go over the history of Markism in America. Unlike most of the other English groups that immigrated to the American colonies, Markists weren’t fleeing from anything. As a result, they tended to be appointed to positions of power. When the Revolution broke out, the majority of Markists felt that they couldn’t betray King George. After all, his counterpart was a prince of Equestria, and the Goddess styled Herself a princess, so surely that meant they were related, right? That was certainly the impression that the royals had managed to give their subjects, and if it wasn’t for the large minority of Christians in England, they probably would have avoided that nasty English Civil War and subsequent curtailing of royal power. This same pro-British attitude kept American Markists out of the War of 1812, but when it came to the American Civil War, Markist teachings put them firmly against slavery (and animal cruelty), so they formed a significant fraction of the Northern armies.

“American Markism fractured in the wake of The British Eviction. American Spiritualism for whatever reason was restricted to Christians only and no American Markist received that dreadful vision from the Goddess. Nevertheless, many people left the faith at this time, including the vast majority of Markists in other English colonies. Others in America tried to change the faith in various ways, seeing if Markism could exist without marking trances, for example. (It couldn’t.)

“There had been a lot of prejudice against Markists in America, culminating in the anti-Markist riots of 1843, led by a political party with the remarkably descriptive name of the Know-Nothings. This group put laws into place that still stand, forcing us to put Christian versions of most place names after the Markist names in any publications meant for a wider audience, even if that location had been predominantly Markist for centuries.

“In response to this persistent animosity, the sect that eventually became the official American Markist Church put into place a policy of repressing most of the facts about the religion that before then had been public knowledge.”

Delver bowed his head. “I consider this to be the last significant act of the Church hierarchy between that time and this. True Man was our first Markist president, dogged throughout his term by accusations that he was taking orders from King George VI, and Far Shooter is our second. And so I conclude my history.”

“Thank you for all that information, Delver,” said Gus. “And here’s hoping we start a new era of your faith’s history starting the day after tomorrow.”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

And so we see the incredible significance of Gus's creation. Synthetic Sun Stone is a huge invention for Markists, not least because it avoids the whole "toxic hallucinogen" requirement of modern mark-dreams. Also, fascinating explanation for the abnormal coloration of Markists. Mildly magical pigment chemicals won't fly in a world much more like ours.

All around, very cool stuff... though I do have to wonder about that countdown. (Not about the mystery herald, though. Pretty clear who that is, or so I assume.)

[Ms_Fruit_Bat]

I kinda want to know where this magic rock comes from, but royalty drinking rocks isn't that ccrazy considering aristocracy and royalty ate mummys.

[Jordan179]

I honestly don't think that a large-scale thermonuclear war would have annihilated the human race, or even human civilization. I think it would only have killed half a billion to two billion people (in the exchange and aftereffects), and wrecked America, Canada, Europe, Russia, China, Japan and perhaps a few other countries.

Yeah. "Only."

I'm glad it didn't happen.

[PiMan]

I decided to reread this story (because it is one of the best this site has to offer) and a problem occurred to me.

For a Markist to have colourful skin and a mark, their mother must have ingested some of the original stone in liquid form, right? By my reckoning, the stone should have long since run out. Hotspur's mother likely drank a significant amount; I guessed it to be the volume of a dinner plate. If every Markist mother drank this much, the whole thing would have run out after around 20 000 people, but I'm guessing the English figured out it could be effective in smaller doses pretty quickly, but how small? If we shrink it down to a 30mL shot glass, you'll satisfy about a million Markist mothers. It is only if you shrink it to the size of a penny that you have a chance to provide for enough people, depending on how many Markists there have ever been (I had to assume less than 100 million), and how big the original stone was (I couldn't decide between the volume of an average non-stretch limo and a sphere with a radius of 2 metres, because you never stated how much larger than the car it was).

Am I missing something, or should this religion have collapsed for practical reasons in the mid 19th century, instead of by divine retribution?

[McPoodle]

9630425

First of all, the substance being drunk comes from a used plate, one that has already gone through the marking ceremony. If it wasn't for this, the used plates would just take up space in people's attics, because nobody was turning used plates back into primed plates before Delver began his experiments.

So the real interesting question is where do you get enough primed plates for every Markist that has ever lived? It's hard to imagine getting even a million plates out of that original meteorite. This would mean that the proportion of English Markists must have always been miniscule. And the idea that even a single American city would be 100% Markist is impossible. Basically, this is a story-ending plot hole. Or would be, if I let it.

So I'm just going to have to cheat and say that the meteorite--and its pieces--has been magically expanding at a very slow rate. In the Twentieth Century, the American clergy invented the problem of the plates running out but never bothered to prove it, because the pieces were spread out between so many churches, and because for a variety of reasons Markist clergy are stubbornly anti-scientific. Delver's piece however was shrinking, because there were so many conversions and births in Canterlot that his piece had dropped below a critical size.

Having got over that, let's get back to the original question: How much of the substance is necessary to turn a kid's skin & hair color? I'd say not that much--let's say a fifth of a plate. So if a couple (with their two plates) have more than 10 kids, only the first 10 get to be Markists. Unless a relative dies childless. And given that each conversion uses up a whole plate... I can see a lot of hand-wringing over this. The idea of not taking new converts in unless they show extraordinary commitment. And Markist parents being encouraged not to have too many children, or else they might be dooming their religion to extinction. So the Pies, with their four children, are either looked down on by their neighbors, or they must have done something extraordinary to earn the necessary dispensation. (Rather like the show writers, I don't like to commit to lore expansion unless a good story is riding on it, so I'm refusing to pick between those two possibilities until and if I write a sequel where it comes up.)