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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad
Is this chapter important?, because I never liked the 1.000-3.000 words long "oh I meet the convention guy and he makes me go to Equestria "." chapters, no offence.
I just want to know if you have written anything here that explains some stuff.
-Texus
The first chapter shows a part of the characters personality, his costume and how he got to Equestria. And you might not understand some bits in the second chapter if you don't read the first one.
However if you're not interested in half of the currently written story you are free to skip it. I am not going to force people to read what they don't want.
I like how someone else took the time to 1) flesh out the character's life before they get Displaced, and 2) describe being Displaced as more than falling down, blacking out, and waking up elsewhere.
8615031
Do you want to know why? Because I wasn't inspired to write this story, because of displaced stories.
If you want to know what I was inspired by... look at my profile page. Me gusta.
I'm glad you have already enjoyed the first chapter.
8615038
Interesting. I've never seen a story where a displacers target gets displaced by another. Kinda like being a kill stealer on an fps. Watcha wanna bet that Merchy is a little pissed about that?
forgot end "
To build up a resistance you have to experience whatever you’re trying to resist multiple times.
It’s more likely he was just born with a “immunity” to passing out.
Also if you’ve ever slept then you’ve fallen unconscious.
8749632
Shhh. You know what he meant. Context is important.
I don't want to be mean, but the extreme spacing makes this hard to read. My sense of reading pace doesn't really know what to do and just gets confused.
Using massive gaps like that with single words is generally reserved for maybe once in an entire story to make it seem like a huge change of pace. But this just feels excessive.
Plus it means that I spend more time scrolling down than actually reading, since I can't fit much information on the screen.
https://www.google.com.pe/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj01KjM0brcAhUMjJAKHZoMBK8QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FDestinyFashion%2Fcomments%2F643p51%2Fim_a_wizard_now%2F&psig=AOvVaw1pej0oZ_ViiQxtB-JhnwST&ust=1532621340718404