you are nothing
you are worthless
One early morning in Ponyville, rainbow dash was flying over the Everfree, and she spotted somepony lying in the middle of the forest floor, not moving. After rainbow finds this mysterious mare she dashes away to get help.
After the mare is transported to a local hospital the mane 6 discover she is severely hurt, broken limbs, bruises, cuts, and little did they know incomprehensible physiological damage. They volunteer to take care of her; knowing they have to do everything to help her recover. the mane 6 become intertwined in her story and change her life in ways she never imagined. She teaches them the bitter truth of the world and that not everypony is kind and they teach her what real friendship is and a special somepony teaches her how to love.
"Her story will make you feel like never before."
Everytime an author uses sentences like this one and the cliche "join my shitty OC as they blah blah", you're broadcasting your lack of experience to your prospective audience.
Btw, that wangsty tag salad isn't really helping either.
8603775
thanks for your opinion i'll make some changes. this is my first fix so please understand i'm not perfect and i'm just finding my around writing :)
8603982
Edit your story, work on that grammar, and consider changing your profile pic.
PonyCreator is a warning sign to more than a few users here.
8603993
ok sure thing thanks for the criticism!! what sight should i go too for my profile pic? also i am horrible at grammar and spelling so i have an editor.
8604001
I don't know, Trump flashing the middle finger? That's your call to make, not mine.
As for an editor, find one from a group here.
8604006
haha okay thanks so much!
I can't wait for the update!!!
8604582
aww Thanks so much!! you have no idea what that means to me.💙
8604720
Your welcome! It's true girl!