My Little Person: The Strange Case of Lyle Hartman

by Fernin

Home at Last

“Won’t be getting me… home today?” I repeated incredulously. Twilight was silent. I tried again, my voice rising as if saying the words more loudly would make them go away. “Won’t be getting me home today? Won’t be getting me home today?!”

The lavender unicorn waved her forehooves placatingly. “That doesn’t mean you’re not getting home at all, just not yet!”

“How can you not be helping?! You’re TWILIGHT SPARKLE! Princess Celestia’s most faithful student! You helped take down Nightmare Moon. Discord. Dragons, and parasprite invasions, and everything. How can you possibly not be able to help here?!” I shouted. There was a ringing in my ears. I wasn’t sure if it came from the sheer volume of my own cries or simply from the horrifying realization that I might be trapped here for good. “Don’t you realize that—!”

“Lyle!” Bon Bon’s forceful, icy hiss brought me up short. I withered under her disapproving glare. The earth pony thought I was being unreasonable. But I wasn’t. Near-hysterical thoughts swirled in my brain as I tried to wrap my head around my new situation. There was going to be a concert today, and Lyra wasn’t going to be there because Twilight Sparkle had picked the worst possible time not to know what to do. Why was I the only one here who thought this might be worth getting upset about?!

“Lyle, calm down and listen,” Bon Bon pleaded—though her voice still had a hard edge that made it almost a command.

I almost ignored Bon Bon, but then I caught sight of the deepening lines of stress on her face. The cream-colored mare was just as worried as I was. More, maybe. But unlike big, manly Lyle Hartman, the little earth pony was managing to keep her cool. I shut my mouth and tried to swallow the lump of fear that had lodged in my throat. “A-all right. I’m listening.”

“Lyle, I was hoping for Lyra back by now, too,” Bon Bon continued. Her voice shook a bit at the mention of the green unicorn’s name, but she kept going. “But she isn’t. This concert means a lot to her. To us…”

I could see exactly where this was going. The phrase ‘butterflies in your stomach’ is such a trite one. Where did it even come from? I was sure the so-called butterflies flitting around my abdomen were something more like horrible bat-winged hell-beasts judging by all the roiling my stomach was doing. I drew a shuddering breath and said, “You want me to go in her place, don’t you.”

It wasn’t a question, and Bon Bon had the courtesy not to treat it as one. “Please, Lyle. I know you can do it. You’ve made amazing progress, and that song of Lyra’s you played was absolutely perfect.”

“But I’m not Lyra!” I practically wailed. “I look like her, but I’m just Lyle! I can’t perform in front of all those peop—ponies! I’ll freeze up! I’m a computer programmer. I basically sit in a box all day for a living!”

When Twilight started to interrupt I wheeled on her and snapped, “And don’t start with me on that again, Twilight Sparkle! I am a programmer, no matter what you think about it!”

“I was just going to make a suggestion,” Twilight said, ignoring the rudeness of my preemptive retort. “If you’re really that worried about it, try using a trick I learned back in school at Canterlot: imagine everypony is a Smartie Pants doll!”

The sheer inanity of Twilight’s advice jerked me back from my downward spiral into full-blown panic. Maybe she’d been taking lessons from Pinkie Pie. After sitting silently for a moment I managed, “Imagine… everypony… as a Smartie Pants doll..?”

“It works great! And she’s so supportive. Why I remember back when I was first learning how to use magic...” Twilight trailed off, smiling happily as she gazed off into the misty pasts of her foalhood.

Bon Bon and I exchanged a look. It was... probably best not to comment on that. I sighed. “Thank you Twilight. And I’m sorry for spazzing out at you again.”

I turned to Bon Bon, my heart pounding and my chest tight. Somehow I managed to force myself to nod instead of doing something more reasonable such as bolting for the door as fast as my hooves could take me. “I’ll do it, Bon Bon.”

“…You’ll imagine ponies as little stuffed dolls?” Bon Bon asked incredulously.

In spite of the situation, I laughed. Was that Bon Bon’s intent? I wouldn’t have put it past her. “What? No. I’ll do the concert. It’s just the one song, right? No other craziness I missed?”

“No, just that,” the earth pony agreed.

“Okay then. Let’s go get ready before I regain my sanity and run screaming for the hills,” I sighed.

* * *

Water splashed down into the pool at the base of the fountain. I stared into the water, thoughtfully chewing on the last of the daisy sandwiches Bon Bon had packed for our lunch. This was… nice.

Leaving the Books and Branches Library a few hours before, I had expected the immediate future to be a panic-tinged nightmare of hasty and possibly fruitless attempts to squeeze in one last bit of practice before my debut performance. It had certainly started out that way.

Fortunately Bon Bon had intervened and now here we were, wrapping up a peaceful lunch in the park. I swallowed and glanced over to the cream-colored mare at my side. “Thanks again, Bon Bon. Delicious as usual.”

With her big blue eyes fixed on the rippling surface of the water, Bon Bon didn’t respond. She stared into her reflection, looking like her mind was a million miles away. Probably in Tacoma with Lyra. I tried again. “Bon Bon?”

“Hmmm?” The cream-colored mare shook her head and looked up. “Oh, I’m sorry, Lyle… I was just thinking.”

“What about?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing. Nothing.” Bon Bon started to wave a forehoof dismissively, but paused. When she spoke again, the faraway look in her eyes had returned. “It’s just… Lyra loves the sound of flowing water. This is where Lyra and I first met, you know. I was just taking a walk one day and decided to come by the park. There was this lovely unicorn mare just sitting and staring into the fountain with a look of complete concentration on her face.”

Bon Bon smiled slightly at the memory and continued, “I thought she might have dropped something in the water, and asked her what she’d lost. She turned and smiled at me and said she hadn’t lost anything, but now she’d found something anyway.”

I chuckled. “That seems like kind of a weird thing to say.”

Bon Bon laughed along with me. “I know; I thought so too. I think she was trying to be romantic. So, I asked her what she’d found. And she looked at me with a sparkle in those golden eyes of hers, and said…”

“‘I’m not sure; why don’t we find out together,’” I murmured without thinking.

Bon Bon blinked in surprise. “Yes… How did you..?”

“It… er… It seemed like the thing to say,” I answered lamely, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Anyway, sorry for interrupting there. Go on.”

The blue-maned mare shook her head. “No, no. That was about it. Just thinking… Well. We’d better go. It’s nearly time.”

I glanced up at the sky. It was definitely past noon, and the flow of concertgoers on the path had grown from a sporadic trickle into a torrent. She was right; it was almost time for my performance. I tried not to think about it as Bon Bon and I collected up the debris of the picnic and cantered along with the crowd until we reached the stage.

My short trip from fountain to the back of the stage felt a little like a death march to the gallows. With the tall wooden shape of the platform in front of me and the dull roar of the multitude loud in my ears, it was hard to keep my mind from drawing that kind of comparison. My heartbeat was rapid and my breath coming in short gasps as Bon Bon and I approached the stage manager.

The brown-maned earth pony trotted towards me with a big grin on his muzzle. “Ah, Bon Bon with our opening act. Hello, hello! How are you two? Ready to knock ‘em dead out there? You’re on in ten!”

“S-sure…” I managed a nervous smile, and the stage manager trotted off to do whatever it was that stage managers do. Manage stages, I guess. I sat down—it was that or fall down—and unloaded my saddlebags as best as I could manage with my hooves shaking like they were. I theoretically could have done that with my magic, but in my current state I didn’t trust myself not to send something into the stratosphere if someone so much as coughed in a way that surprised me.

I nearly went into the stratosphere myself when the giant speakers on either side of the stage crackled into life. “MMmmmmaaaaaares and stallions! Fillies and gentlecolts! Welcome to the first annual Running of the Leaves Concert! And first let’s have a big cheer for all the fine ponies who participated in this year’s race, the biggest ever here in Ponyville! I bet those trees just didn’t know what hit them!”

Thunderous cheers sent my blood pressure straight through the roof. Oblivious to the serious damage he was likely doing to what was left of my crumbling composure the announcer continued, “I’d like to thank all of you for attending today… But now let me take this opportunity to remind you that the Ponyville Chamber of Commerce is operating a wonderful assortment of concession and souvenir stands placed conveniently about the field for your enjoyment! Remember, the race is over, so please feel free to weigh yourself down with as much food and stuff as you can afford, ha ha ha. Oh, come on, everypony. Laugh! That was funny! Anyway, I’m Check List, your announcer for this evening…”

My hooves scrabbled at the surface of the lyre’s carrying case as I tried unsuccessfully to open its clasps. I tried again, swearing under my breath. Come on, stupid case! Why wouldn’t it cooperate? Why—ah, there it went. I slammed the box open and tugged out the lyre, staring at it with slightly wild eyes. Wait. How did I play this again? Oh god, I was going to screw this up, wasn’t I? I moaned, “I don’t think I can do this…”

“Sshhhh… don’t worry, Lyle. I know you’ll do great,” Bon Bon whispered. I felt the warm, calming weight of the mare’s foreleg as she draped it over my shoulder and pulled me close. Then I felt the equally warm but much softer press of her lips on my cheek as she gave me a quick kiss. A pleasant tingle flowed through my body, driving away the pre-performance jitters.

I looked at Bon Bon, shock clear on my face. She simply smiled, a slight blush on her cheeks. “Go get ‘em, Lyle.”

Before I could respond, the announcer raised his voice—unnecessarily, considering the level of amplification he was already getting—and shouted, “…And first up I am proud to introduce Ponyville’s very owwwwnn….. Lyra Heartstrings!”

I managed to tear my eyes away from Bon Bon. Mouthing my thanks to her over the roar of the crowd, I gathered up my lyre and climbed up onto to the platform.

The sun was dipping lower, beaming practically right into my eyes as I looked out over the field. Unfortunately, its light wasn't so bright as to prevent me from seeing the legions of ponies spread out before me. My hooves rang loud on the wooden planks of the stage as I approached the single chair at the center of the platform and sat down. Clearing my throat, I leaned forward to speak into the microphone and quavered, “H-hello, Ponyville… T-today… t-today I’m…”

I closed my eyes and thought of nothing—nothing save for the sound of gurgling water and the big, blue eyes of a certain earth pony mare. I took a breath and started again, eyes still shut against the crowd and the searing light of the sun. “Today I’m going to play a classic… well, a classic from back home. This is ‘The Sounds of Silence.’”

Positioning the lyre at my hooves, I sat back in the chair. I focused my eyes on the instrument and concentrated on the music in my head. Slowly at first but with growing confidence, I started to play. Music poured from the strings of the lyre under my glowing touch, and after a few seconds I began to sing. “Hello darkness, my old friend…”

I was doing it. The notes came easily to me. The words of the song flowed forth, rolling over the hushed crowd as they listened. I couldn’t believe it. It was working. “In restless dreams I walked alone… Narrow streets of cobblestone…”

By the end of the second verse, I felt strong enough to look out over the crowd. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were watching me, but the music was what mattered right now. It made me smile, thinking of how frightened I’d been at first… How scared I’d felt when Bon Bon had first told me she’d managed to get me this gig.

I’d told Bon Bon that she was crazy—I’d never performed for so many ponies before. What if I screwed up? What if they didn’t like my music? The thought of failing like that in front of so many ponies—in front of Bon Bon—had been almost physically painful to me. I’d felt like throwing myself off a cliff. Yet here I was now, and Bon Bon was right again. As usual. She really was the best thing that had happened to me after I left Canterlot. “Hear my words that I might teach you…”

…Now, wait a minute. I scrolled back over the past few thoughts. Something seemed strange about them. They… Huh. That was odd.

In my mind’s eye, I could see the vast plains of my memories stretching back into the misty past. But as I watched, I could see flickers of a mysterious other land, terra incognita, floating in and out of existence like pictures projected on mist. I re-examined my recent thoughts. ‘How scared I had been when Bon Bon had first told me she’d managed to get me this gig.’ ‘The best thing that had happened to me after I left Canterlot.’

Thinking back now, I could remember that conversation—which had quickly turned into an argument—as clear as day. And I could remember a lot more, too. I could remember a few weeks back, when Bon Bon had made me try a ‘hot chocolate’ bonbon with actual hot sauce—Pinkie Pie’s idea—and I’d spent the rest of the day bent over a bucket. I recalled that time nine months ago when I had gotten Bon Bon that new stand mixer for her birthday. She’d been so happy…

Finally, I understood. I could remember everything. I’d been wrong this entire time, and it almost made me laugh to think of it. ‘As sane as the next man?’ You certainly were… Lyra.

“…And whispered in the sound of silence…” I let the final notes die away and took a deep, ragged breath. For a moment, nopony stirred. Just when I thought I was going to have to leave the stage in the very silence I’d been singing about, the cheering started. It came from one throat, then ten, then twenty. The cries of delight and approval rolled through the fields and broke on the stage like a great and glorious wave.

I stood, a bit unsteady on two legs. Well, this was it. Lyle Hartman dipped low with his bow… and straightened again as me—Lyra Heartstrings. I dropped to all fours and started to trot offstage, my legs feeling wobbly now that I was coming down from both an adrenaline rush and a several-day-long hysteric fit.

The announcer, Check List, brought me up short. “Whoooaaah now, Lyra! You can’t leave like that! I think the good ponies in the audience want an encore, and the next band’s still getting ready…”

Cheering even louder, the massed multitudes before the stage voiced their approval. Sighing and with a slight smile on my muzzle, I returned to the chair. “Well, all right… This one might not be ready yet, but I think it’s appropriate here. This song’s a little number I like to call ‘Homeward Bound...’”

By the time I was done the audience was roaring for a second encore, but I simply grinned and waved as I trotted off-stage. Always leave ‘em wanting more, right? The future was looking bright.

Bon Bon and Twilight Sparkle were waiting behind the stage and smiled as I approached. They both started to speak at once, but I overrode them with, “Well, girls, I’ve got some good news and some bad news…”

“What?” Bon Bon asked nervously, caught a bit off-guard.

“Well the good news is, I finally figured out what was wrong,” I said. “I’m back now. I’m sorry about all that… weirdness.”

“You mean you..?” Hope rose in Bon Bon’s eyes. I nodded, and she practically tackled me, showering me with hugs and kisses. “Oh, Lyra! I was so scared we were going to lose you forever…”

After a moment the earth pony paused in her affectionate assault and speared me with a suspicious glance. “Wait. What’s the bad news?”

“The bad news,” I continued with a sigh, “Is that Twilight Sparkle was right and now she’s probably going to be insufferable for days.”

That earned me a clout around the ears with Bon Bon’s powerful left forehoof and an amused chuckle from the soon-to-be-insufferable unicorn. Twilight seemed about ready to retort with some witticism when the pitter-patter of little dragon feet interrupted us. Spike came running up, excitement blazing in his eyes as he chattered at a mile a minute. “Twilight! Twilight! I was looking for you! Is it true that—”

Catching sight of me, Spike’s eyes widened and a huge, toothy grin spread across his face. “Hey! Are you really Lyle Hartman?!”

“I—” I started, caught off guard by the little creature’s enthusiasm.

Twilight Sparkle broke in with, “Spike! Manners! And where did you hear that?!”

“Er… I… Well…” Spike looked down, scuffing the ground with one clawed foot. “You left some of your notes out about Lyra and Bon Bon and ‘stress-caused dilutions’ and stuff, and I accidentally read some of them while I was cleaning up…”

“That’s ‘delusions,’” Twilight corrected automatically, but Spike had already turned to me again.

“So is it true, Lyra?! You’re really Lyle Hartman? I love your show! When I grow up I want to be a computer programmer like you! It looks awesome!”

I chuckled. “No, Spike. Sorry. I’m not Lyle. Just Lyra.”

And, I thought as Bon Bon nuzzled my neck affectionately, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

---

A/N:Boy, I hope at least some of you saw this coming because I was trying to telegraph it as much as possible without actually coming straight out and saying it.

Just a heads up, this is the romantic ending. The epilogue that comes next has some slightly dark humor along with some background / exposition, so you maaaaaaay want to stop now. Fair warning.

For those of you who do, a word of thanks for my several editors and pre-readers including: SapphireStarlightPony (here), CaseterMK (DA), Little Napoleon (FA) and last but certainly not least, Rated-R PonyStar (here). Thanks a lot, guys; I couldn't have finished this without you.

Comments

[jjboyz]

Interesting. Though, I kinda thought that would happen anyways.

[Corona Blaze]

A strange and saddly fitting end. Happy, but a smidge sad as well. Especially consdering the stresses needed to cause a bout of temporary insanity like that. Then again, major concert and all.

[Grez the Lizard Lord]

What a tweest!

[Banksyt]

I knew it would happen eventually, and it seemed that this was the best place to do it.
well at least we "might" get some closure on exactly what happened during the transition and how lyra fared in the human world...
But *Ahem* A very beautiful ending, a pang of sad but a happy ending nevertheless.

[Salnax]

Well, this was what the ending had to be. But how did it happen?

[Jaysteeny]

That ending...So yet at the same time, sorta .

[honeyhoneyhoney]

[MerlosTheMad]

[Wellwater]

Well, that was a waste of a perfectly good hour or two. This story would have been awesome if it weren't for the fact that it was awful; I do not appreciate shaggy dog stories that must rely on reader deception to make it past the first five completely accurate and unanimous snap judgments. Thumbs down, good sir. (Or madam, as the case may be.) Kindly turn your considerable writing talents to something less clever and more enjoyable.

[KvAT]

Well that sucks. The subversion was smart, but not clever. Great idea, poor execution. If you really were going to do something like this, leave some hints beforehand, on previous chapters. A little teases here and there, hinting to here.

Without those, this chapter ended up bringing the story into its knees.

[tsaukpaetra]

It's really too bad, the possibility of further justification attempts was tempting.