After Taylor fainted, Nurse Freckles immediately began to try and revive him.
"Gosh, I've heard from Nurse Starlight that Taylor has had several episodes of fainting, but has this ever been the case back on Earth?"
James shrugged. "To be perfectly honest, I don't know. I never saw Taylor faint myself, but I did hear from some of the other guys in Blue Squadron that he did from time to time."
"If that was the case though, was it due to a medical condition?"
"Like I said before Miss Freckles, I honestly don't know. It could be, or it might not be, only Taylor could tell us that."
Moments after James said this, Taylor woke up again.
"Taylor, seriously, you really need to stop fainting like that. It cannot be good for your health."
"Well, maybe if Life didn't keep throwing bricks at me like that, maybe I wouldn't keep fainting! Well, that, and those epiphanies that I had a few days ago didn't help me much either."
James sighed. "No, wait, what? What epiphanies?"
Taylor told him about the past couple of times where he'd had a great epiphany, and either been in a state of shock, or lost consciousnesses.
Both James's eyes, as well as Nurse Freckles eyes, got very wide when they heard Taylor's story.
"Wow, that's that's pretty incredible. I mean, the Pacific War was one thing, but that many epiphanies in such a short time? How are you not dead from a heart attack or something?"
"Well, it might have had something to do with the fact that I had Nurse Redheart around me, and......" Taylor sighed, and seemed very sad. "Redheart....." He whispered. "The mare I lost."
James looked at Nurse Freckles. Nurse Freckles looked at him and nodded, indicating that both of them were thinking the exact same thing. Wordlessly, Nurse Freckles left the room for a moment, and paged a certain nurse.
Once Taylor had fully composed himself again, he turned to James. "Hey James?"
"Yeah Taylor?"
"Don't you think that it's about time that I maybe got out of bed? You know, maybe tried to walk again?"
"Um, are you sure that that's such a good idea Taylor? I mean, you are still blind, and were just injured extremely severely."
Taylor sighed. "Yeah, but if I don't get out of this bed soon, I'm also going to have to learn how to walk again, on top of remembering how to use my eyes. So what do you say? Will you help me?"
"Umm....", James was still unsure. "Don't you think that we should ask Nurse Freckles about that first?"
"Ask me about what?" Nurse Freckles walked back into the room.
"Well, I've been in this bed for several days now, and I'm starting to get extremely cramped in my legs. I'm afraid that if I don't at least stretch my legs a bit, that I'm going to have to relearn how to walk. I asked James to help me, but he said that we should ask you first, since you are a medical professional."
Nurse Freckles wasn't sure what to say to that. "Well", she said at last, "You are blind Mr. Taylor, you arm is still broken, and you still have some pretty heavy bruising on your back. However, you are correct. You do need to move your legs to keep your muscles from stiffening. However, I don't think that I'm the one qualified to help you with that."
Taylor looked at her curiously. "Huh? What do you mean by that Nurse Freckles? And if you're not qualified to help me, then who is?"
"I think that we might be able to help you with that Taylor!" Came a voice from the doorway.
Taylor turned towards the voice. It sounded new, yet, so oddly familiar. He couldn't see, yet, he knew who said that.
"N-Nurse Starlight? Is that really you?"
"Yep! I'm right here Taylor."
Taylor smiled, but then he frowned slightly. "Yeah, but wait a minute. You said 'we'. Did you bring another nurse with you? And if so, who?"
"She brought me, Taylor. I came to help you too."
When Taylor heard that voice, he immediately froze up. He knew that voice. He had heard it every day since he arrived in Equestria. He also knew that the mare that it belonged to was not only the same one that he had cheated on, but also the one that had kicked him in the head for lying to her about it.
"R-Redheart? I-is that r-really you???"
He heard the sounds of hooves on the hospital floor, and then felt a warm, furry something pull him into a hug.
"Yes, it's me Taylor, I'm right here. Even though you are blind, just know that I really am right here."
Taylor was still in a state of shock, and Starlight just looked at the two of them, smiling to herself. It was another story with James and Nurse Freckles however.
"Wow", James whispered softly, "It looks like they may finally forgive each other.......MWMHPH!!!!!"
Before he could finish his sentence, Nurse Freckles clamped a hoof over his mouth. "Shh, quiet! I want to see where this is going."
Now James was slightly ticked. "Hey, I wasn't doing anything bad, and why'd you stuff your hoof over my mouth?"
"Because I was trying to shut you up. You were breaking my concentration."
"Well, don't do it again. I mean it!"
Nurse Freckles turned to him, with a strange look on her face. "Well, if you don't zip it, I might just have to find another way to shut you up."
James rolled his eyes. "Ok, I think that this conversation has gone on long enough. I think that it's time that we acted like adults, and.....MWMPH!?!?!?!"
Once again, James had no chance at finishing his sentence. This time though, before he got the chance to, Nurse Freckles grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulled him close to her, and actually kissed him on the mouth!
"Augh! What was that?!?!"
"It's called 'a kiss' dummy!" She replied giggling, "And there's another one coming if you don't shut up!"
James was still recoiling. "You.....cannot....be seriou.....MWMPH!!!!!"
"I'm just gonna keep kissing you until you shut up."
This unstable situation was about to come to a climax. Just as James was probably about to say something else, (possibly something along the lines of asking for help!) Nurse Starlight heard the noises going on behind her, and when she turned to look, to her utter shock, there was Nurse Freckles, and she was kissing James!"
"What the......?!?!?! WHAT IN SWEET CELESTIA'S NAME ARE YOU DOING TO HIM FRECKLES?!?!?!?!"
Freckles immediately let go of James, and he fell to the floor.
"Medic!"
"Did she hurt you Mr. James?" Starlight was geniunely concerned for James's well being.
"Well, aside from hitting my head on the floor just now, as well as maybe needing a test for any number of animal-related illnesses, I think I'm fine."
Starlight then once again turned her full attention to Nurse Freckles. "Once again, before I have security come in and haul your ass out, I have to ask, WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING TO HIM?!?!?!"
Nurse Freckles hung her head low. "I was trying to watch Taylor and Starlight possibly make up, but he wouldn't stop talking. I first put my hoof over his mouth, but he protested that. Then, in the spur of the moment, I told him that if he wasn't going to shut up, then I would have to find another way to make him. He didn't believe me, and so, again in the spur of the moment, as well as a moment of not thinking straight, I kissed him.
Long story short, he recoiled, and asked me what I did. I gave him a sarcastic reply, and told him that if he was going to keep talking, that I was going to keep kissing him until he shut up. It was then that you turned around and saw us. And it might also just be me, but I kinda get this odd feeling that I really just messed up. Like big-time!"
"No shit!" James muttered. Out loud, he said, "And please don't do that ever again! (without asking me first anyway!) If you just wanted a kiss, all you had to so was ask!"
Nurse Freckles sighed. "Yeah, and that was really stupid of me. I'm really sorry Mr. James. I-I um, gosh, I really don't know what to say, aside from asking for your forgiveness of course."
James nodded. "And you have it. And also, you should feel at least a bit of pride."
"For what?"
"Well, because of what just happened, now you can claim to be the third mare to ever kiss a human!"
Freckles thought about that. "Yeah, I guess that you're right Mr. James. And, I do really want this behind us."
James nodded. "So do I Miss Freckles. So yes, I can forgive you."
"And does this mean that we can still be friends too?"
"Well, if that's what you want, then I guess that that could be arranged as well."
"*Squee!*" Nurse Freckles then hugged James as the two of them made up.
By this point, Taylor and Redheart were finished hugging, although before they could really talk to each other, Redheart turned at Starlight's outburst, and she stared in shock at what she was seeing.
"Hey, what's going on over there Redheart? What's wrong?"
"Oh, it's nothing Taylor. It's just Nurse Freckles showing some really poor judgement."
"Huh? What did she do?"
"It's kind of a weird story Taylor", James said from across the room, "I'll tell you about it later."
Taylor however, based on the various conversations that he was hearing, already had a pretty good idea of what had happened. "So, now James becomes the second human to ever kiss a mare." He thought to himself, "And like me, his first kiss was with a nurse. I don't know what it is with nurses around here, but is this always how they treat patients? Or do we 'new species' get special treatment?"
Taylor wasn't sure, but he didn't think that it was his place to ask, so he didn't. Instead, he turned back to Redheart. "So, um Miss Redheart? Do you think that you could help me stand up now? That was the main reason that you came here, wasn't it?"
Redheart nodded. "Yes, well, that was one of the reasons anyway. However, this is the focus right now, so let's figure out how to do this. As I'm sure that you already know, you are blind, at least for the time being, so this is really going to complicate things a bit."
In the end, they decided to do it just like they had done when Taylor got up to walk the first time. With Redheart standing next to the bed, Taylor slowly pulled his blankets off of himself. Then, as carefully as he could, with help from both Starlight and James, he sat on the side of the bed, and swung first one leg, and then the other over the side. Then, once he had both feet on the floor, and with his left arm wrapped around Redheart's back, Taylor slowly stood up again.
At first, because he wasn't quite used to standing yet, he did prove to be rather unstable.
"Whoa, whoa! I kinda feel a little shaky here Redheart! I feel like I could fall down!"
"Well, that's why you're leaning on me. I'm not only your support, but also your eyes as well. For the time being at least."
Taylor nodded, and once he'd fully regained his footing, with Redheart by his side, he carefully moved one foot, and then the other. Pretty soon, Taylor was taking his first steps post-accident.
"It was so weird", Taylor recalled later. "It was like walking through a dark room, but yet, there did seem to be some dim light. I was so afraid that I was going to run into something. Silly me though. Redheart was by my side. I knew that she wasn't going to let anything happen to me."
As they continued to walk along slowly, Taylor turned his head to Redheart. "Um, Miss Redheart?"
"Yes Mr. Taylor?"
"Um, I have a question. Earlier when i asked, you said that coming to help me walk was only part of the reason that you came to me. Um, what was the other reason?"
Redheart stopped cold. She had spent a long time with Starlight beforehand preparing for this, but now that it was upon her, Redheart didn't know what to say. For a few moments, she tried and failed to say anything. However, she was able to get a grip on herself, and she finally let it all out.
"The other reason, was so that I could finally get another chance to talk to you again Taylor. After the night that I wounded you, I felt so much guilt over what I had done that I couldn't bear to see you, so that's why I left for Ponyville on that earlier train. After arriving back here though, I felt so guilty, that I decided that I was going to come back and find you, but before I could, you and the others had your accident."
"B-but why? Why, if you cared about me so much, did you not come to see me while I was here?"
Redheart seemed like she was going to cry. "B-because, I c-couldn't. I tried to, but when I saw you lying there, fighting for your life, I couldn't stand it. You were in so much pain that I had a breakdown. For the longest time, I sat on a bench outside of your room, crying. Eventually, I left the Trauma Ward, and was later found by Nurse Starlight.
This was last night. She and I had a long talk about everything, and eventually, she convinced me to come back and finally talk to you."
Taylor nodded, tears beginning to form in his own eyes. "And I'm......glad that you did. I was really missing you, missing hearing your voice, missing laughing with you, spending time with you, etc. I wanted you to come, but given everything that had happened, I knew that you probably hated me, and never wanted to see me again."
"That couldn't be farther from the truth Taylor. You're very special to me. We shared a connection since the first time that we met. We may have hit some serious rough spots with the events of the past couple of days, but I'm willing to work through it if you are."
Taylor turned to her. "So, does this mean that we're, um, c-close friends again?"
Redheart paused for a moment, then she let go of Taylor for a moment, before rearing up onto her hind legs to hug him.
"You'd better believe it Taylor!" She whispered. "You seem to have this uncanny knack for needing medical attention, as well as guidance at times, so yes, I'm here for you once again."
"I just wish that I could see you right now Redheart. I'm so close to being able to do that, yet, so far. I still have another two days or so of eyedrop treatments before my blindfold can be removed."
"You'll see me soon Taylor. And I'm sure that you'll be happy to know that I've spoken to Dr. Stables, and as of now, until the day that you leave the hospital, I will be the nurse caring for you."
"That sounds nice, but what about Nurse Freckles?"
"Yeah, what about me?"
Redheart turned to look at her. "Well, I won't be tending to Taylor full time, but the doctor agreed that it would be for the best if we worked at it in shifts. You were wearing yourself out, and no other nurse, besides maybe Starlight, and of course you now, knows Taylor better than I do."
Taylor then felt unstable again. "Um, Redheart, could you please help me back to the bed? I need to sit down again."
"Certainly." With care, Redheart helped him back to the bed, and when he was next to it, he sat back down on the edge of it. While he was sitting there, Redheart sat behind him, and gently began to massage his back.
"Hmm", she sighed, "It must feel so nice to have me do this."
"Yeah, it feels like........Ow, OW, OW!!!!!! THE BRUISES!!!!!! OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I forgot all about them! Oh gosh!!!!" Redheart immediately recoiled. She then took some ointment, and began to rub that over the bruises on his back instead, albeit, MUCH more gently this time!
"Um, does that feel any better Taylor?"
"Yeah, it......sorta does. It feels cool, and whatever it is, it's making the pain seem to go away."
After Redheart was done rubbing the ointment in, Taylor lay on his stomach for a few minutes, so as to allow the ointment time to be absorbed.
As it was being absorbed, Taylor asked a question. "Um, Nurse Freckles?"
"Yes Mr. Taylor?"
"When was I scheduled to have my original arm cast removed, and replaced with a better one?"
"Um", she looked over her records. "According to what Dr. Stables wrote here, that's going to be done in the morning, close to when some of your final eyedrop treatments are being done as well."
"Ok, that sounds fine. It'll sure be nice to have it bent at a 90 degree angle at my elbow, instead of just being straight like it is now. And those treatments will put me more steps closer to being able to see again."
Nurse Freckles nodded. "Yes, now you'd better get some rest Mr. Taylor. It's starting to get late, and you have more treatments to have done tomorrow."
Taylor nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right." He began to get settled back into his bed.
"And I'm going to head home for the night. Goodnight everypony!"
"Goodnight Nurse Starlight."
"And I think that I'll head back to my room as well. Goodnight Taylor, I'll see you tomorrow."
Taylor nodded. "Goodnight James."
"And I guess that now Nurse Redheart will be taking care of you, at least for a while, I'm going to take a break for the night. Goodbye for now Mr. Taylor."
"Goodbye Nurse Freckles."
Once the goodnights and goodbyes were over with, the lights in Taylor's room were turned off, with the exception of a lamp, and Taylor was trying to fall asleep.
"Um, Redheart?"
"Yes Taylor?"
"I'm just glad that we were able to work through that rough spot in our relationship. It feels so good to be past it now."
"Yeah, I know what you mean Taylor. The air is now clear, and we can start over with a clean slate. Maybe we weren't meant to be lovers, but doesn't mean that we can't still be friends, does it?"
Taylor shook his head. "Of course not. We can always still be friends. Goodnight Miss Redheart. I'll see you tomorrow."
Goodnight, Mr. Taylor."
With that, Taylor was finally able to fall asleep. He and Redheart had fully come to terms with what had happened, and where able to work through it. Their future looked bright, now the question remained; could the plane possibly be repaired for a trip back to Earth, and if so, how long would it take?
No he isn't. That would be true if he had to heal this the non-magical way and had been in the hospital for months. Walking is pretty hard-coded into human brains. Typically, the only reason you'd have to learn how to do it again is a serious brain injury like a stroke.
If only nurse freckles had been a little faster so we didn't have to read it. This makes James read like someone who's not just awkward, but actively socially inept. Like that friend everyone knows but nobody wants to invite to parties because of what he might say. I don't know if that's what you're going for for james. It seemed like you wanted him to be normal. This is not how a normal person talks. (ie: Completely ignoring the context of the situation, potentially ruining things for his friend)
The fact that James goes on and on like this makes it get so much worse. He goes from "a little awkward" to "I seriously think he might have a learning disability." Like, this isn't the way a neurotypical person acts. If that's what you're going for his character, than this is okay.
Otherwise, I don't think I can overestimate how serious a problem this is. In fiction, none of the places or people are will. As a writer, it's your job to convince us that isn't true even though we already know it is. You're an illusionist. Trying to pull off a magic trick, if you will. A very difficult, very impressive magic trick.
When you do something like this, it's like explaining to the audience how the trick works. You're showing us "No, the people aren't real. They just do whatever the story needs them to do."
This is not the way someone acts who has been sexually assaulted. This is also not the way someone acts who enjoyed the sexual advance. You really need to pick one. Either he liked it or he didn't. I don't know why he would have--there being two people on the same plane who would both be interested in romance with animals is really weird to me. A crazy coincidence. Paticularly because, just like with Celestia, "Freckles" did nothing so far in the story to build a relationship with James first. It's not like they got closer and closer while she nursed him back to health--that isn't in the story.
And please please please don't go explaining how it's actually okay because in things you didn't write she actually was with him every day and they became close friends, because that wasn't in the story you wrote. Ever heard the phrase "Death of the author?" It basically means that once you put the page down, you die. You don't get to tell us anything that you didn't put in the art.
I don't think I can stress this enough--if realisim is important to you, then it seems extremely unrealistic for modern people to just jump into relationships with animals without a second thought. That should come with deep soul-searching, it should probably be brought on _after_ a close friendship. It should be earned. This was not earned.
Character voice issue. James doesn't seem like he should know or care about this number.
Speaking of character voice issues. You're trying to cast Taylor as a literal chosen son of god in Equestria. He's a war hero, a brilliant engineer, and more. But he talks like a timid kid. I don't just mean here--he says the word "um" all the time. This strikes me as strange. Confident people don't use this word. They say what they mean!
Character voice problem again! I don't believe Redheart would talk like this. Even if the human euphamism is duplicated in Equestria, it doesn't seem like Redheart is the sort of pony who would use it.
This is the chapter of character voice problems it looks like.
Real people do not talk like this, paticularly about awkward and sensitive subjects like relationships. Nobody just gets up and says "Well I'm so glad we've overcome our problems and repaired our relationship and can be friends again!" If I would guess, this seems like an OCD sorta thing--needing the rules to be stated out loud even though it would never be this way in real life.
Instead, it would be much more realistic for someone to say "I'm glad we could talk." Or "I've missed spending the night with you." People _imply_ their feelings more than state them, paticuarly when they're difficult and painful like here.
And hey, you realized in the author's notes that your freckles scene made no sense. You don't have bath author's senses, you're just ignoring them for some reason.
If your author's senses are telling you something is out of character and doesn't belong, CUT IT! Ask yourself "Okay, I want them to kiss. This setup makes no sense. So what WOULD make sense?" Then think things out and try to figure out "What would make James willing to kiss Freckles? What situation could I put them in that would make that natural?
If I were writing this, I would've set it up beforehand with her befriending him as she nursed him back to health. Then, maybe James would get really uspet about something and Freckles would invite him out to one of her favorite resturants in town--just to make him feel better. Except secretly it would be a date, and he would gradually realize that over time.
But that's just how I would've done it if I wanted that to happen. There are many, many ways. Just not stealing the spotlight in what should've been Taylor and Redheart's moment to shine.
a vary good chapter and it looks as of read hart will be a guide horse for a few days.
guidehorse
8566261
Hello again Starscribe.
Well, I see a big wall of text, so let's get this over with.
First of all, this was just an excuse that Taylor made up so that he could have a reason to get out of bed. Also, if you want to get technical, this is still 1945. Not everything about medical science was understood at this time. Plus, even if it was, Taylor is no doctor, he's just a pilot.
Next, although a hand being clamped over somepony's mouth can almost fully muffle sound, a hoof cannot. There was just enough room for James to say, "MWMPH!!!!" Also, yes, James is extremely socially awkward. At one time, he was more socially adept, but then he served in the Pacific War. Due to his injuries, and the PTSD, he retreated inside himself, and became extremely socially awkward because of it. He was never very good with women, and now? He's practically brain-dead. However, Nurse Freckles restarted something in his head. Something that will play an important role in a later chapter. James has mental issues that he's trying to overcome, just like Taylor has physical issues.
Next, I'm justifying nothing. Freckle's actions were her own, and were a complete shock to not only James, but everypony else, and Taylor, as well. However, her actions will serve a purpose. In a later chapter, this will come to light, but I don't want to spoil anything right now. James and Freckles were warming up to be friends, if that. Now Freckles's actions may have derailed that.
*Note to self: Write what you mean in a chapter, and think it all through, don't try and save the chapter later.*
Well, he had seen Taylor kiss Redheart before, and Taylor told him all about what happened with Celestia. This is how he knew, although why he would care, well, James is all about numbers. That, and he was trying to put the best face on a situation that he knew could ruin him.
Now I think would be a good time for me to clarify Taylor as a character. Truth be told, I've decided to heavily back off from the whole "Christianity in Equestria" bit. Also, from the beginning, I always saw Taylor as being more of a servant of God, which makes much more sense than a "son of God". In reality, Taylor is still human. He still makes mistakes. Also, while still on Earth, Taylor lacked confidence. He was timid then, but he hid it because he had to be strong for his crew. I hinted at this in early chapters, but I don't think that I made this clear enough. He still lacks confidence now, but he's slowly realizing that if he doesn't stand up and become his own man, then he'll never get anywhere. He's slowly gaining more confidence, but it'll take more time.
Yeah, I suppose that you're right. However, Redheart was so glad that Taylor was alive, and that he didn't hate her. But still, yeah, I should have rethought how to word that. (Note to self: stick to phrases from the time period.)
It was building up to this ever since Redheart left for Ponyville the morning after kicking Taylor in the head. Even more so after Taylor nearly blew himself up. She was so relieved that Taylor didn't hate her, and Taylor was glad that Redheart didn't hate her. However, yeah, I see what you mean, and I need to make this more realistic. Imply, don't tell. If it doesn't make sense, cut it. Keep all characters in character at all times. I think I can do that from now on.
Also, I have a plan for James and Freckles. It will take a while for that plan to come to fruition, but know that I do have a plan. This scene above will serve as a catalyst that will trigger an event, that will lead to more events, that will ultimately put my plan into action.
(note to self: DO NOT make the plan predictable! Keep the audience in the dark!)
8567244
Hello Hartsfire,
And yes, that was kind of my original plan, yes.