Chapter 2:
Another Human?
"AHHHHH!!!!!!" I immediately snapped my maw shut as I heard a new voice in the room, tilting my head slightly confused at how the voice was only just screaming and not when the golden mountain shifted and partly collapsed, It had come from the other side of the gold mountain,
Using my legs and arms similar to how I watched Smaug in the movies and bats "walking" when I watched documentary's on animals.
As I used my limbs, I recognised that it was just like walking on fours with the arms elbows facing out and hands facing in like how one would try to mimic a monitor lizards slow gait,
Using my strange limbs like a monitor lizard and a bat, I easily started to understand walking like how one would with a bike.
"W-who's there!? Where am I!? If you've kidnapped me you'll regret it!" The unfamiliar voice cried out once again, confused and most likely scared.
As I rounded the corner my eyes widened in complete surprise and shock.
It was another tiny dragon, though it was a bit bigger than I was currently,
The dragon had a sleek, dark body with black scales, having faint lighter patterns similar to that of a manta ray, resembling an axolotl or a gecko in general appearance and has two pairs of wings with a shape similar to a bat, with tail fins on its tail,
two mobile, ear-like appendages on the back of its head as well as 3 other pairs around its jaw. It had a short neck and lacked any kind of horns. Also having pair of large, angel blue cat-like eyes staring straight at me in shock.
It was a freaking tiny nightfury.
Its eyes were wide and scared "d-dragon, don't eat me.. I taste bad"
"uh dude, I ain't going to eat you, heck wouldn't that be cannibalism?"
The dragon reared back shocked, "cannibalism? I'm not a dragon like you, I'm a human!" the supposed human turned dragon exclaimed in confusion.
My amber eyes narrowed "human? Then I'm Google" Yes I used a well known joke and Google to try and confirm.
The humans eyes widened in shock once again, before falling in a jokingly flirtatious manner "and I'm your internet"
......what "A-are you hitting on me?"
The male nightfury froze in realisation his angel blue eyes widened as he quickly denied it shouting 'no' multiple times as he shook his head rapidly,
I rolled my eyes at his behaviour, boys can overreact at the most annoying of times,
"So your human huh? Well look at yourself now night fury"
The nightfury stopped before glaring, geez bipolar much? "I'm not a dragon! I'm just a human!" he lifted a fore paw "see perfectly normal hu--" the black dragon froze mid-word staring in (oh surprise guess what it is) shock.
He turned his paw around observing it as his jaw drop, his head turned around as he studied his new body, pupils dilated as his eyes roamed from his legs, wings, tail and jet black scales, The nightfury looked back at me before asking "Are.. You a human too?"
I nodded before I could reply verbally the nightfury shot questions at me, "Why are we dragons? Where are we? How did we get here? Why am I a nightfury? And is there a mirror?" he asked really fast in a panicked voice.
I took in a deep breath before answering, "I don't know, no idea, we died, I also have no idea and yes, there is a mirror" Taking another breath before stopping seeing the nightfury's face contort into dread "We...died?" I flinched remebering the searing pain before waking up on top of the gold as Smaug.
Hanging my head as tears threatened to appear, "Yeah.. I died in a plane crash, travelling to America" The nightfury perked up before his face fell, eyes already welling up with tears, "I... Remember the screaming, the panick, the... Fear, as the plane plummeted to the ocean.." He sniffed in pure grief.
Uh oh, crap! Gotta change the subject!
"ssoo, my names Kira what's yours?" the nightfury looked up looking weirdly at me as he wiped away his tears with a paw in a cat-like manner, "Isn't Kira a girls name?"
If I had fur or feathers I would of puffed them up in agitation, so I instead settled with a deadpanned glare, the nightfury froze lifting a paw try cover his mouth while failing to stifle a snort of laughter, "H-hey! No laughing at my sudden gender change!" I hissed in annoyance.
The nightfury calmed himself down tears of laughter in the corners of his eyes, "s-sorry, anyways the names Zyon" I nodded in accepting his apology, "anyway, where the mirror?" he asked once again, "Oh! Right! This way follow me! And just call me Smaug or something... Since I'm now him" as I turned around and walked back towards where I left the mirror, Zyon carefully moved his legs one in front of the other trying to copy me, his legs wobbled unsteadily before he collapsed on his face all four legs splayed out to the sides as he groaned in annoyance, I stopped my walking and turning my head over my shoulder to look at him, he tried a few more times before succeeding and heading to the mirror, however before we finally got to the mirror, a door creaked open the person we could not see but could clearly hear as we froze mid-stride, a young girls voice could be heard "H-hello? Is someone in here?"
I looked Zyon straight in the eye before silently both deciding for one of us to open our mouths and answer, "yes? We're down here! Can you help us get out?" Zyon asked as friendly as he could, the sound of..hoofsteps? Could be heard as the unknown young girl came closer, we waited in tension as we looked up at the upper rim of the pit we were in, expecting to see a human girl peer down at us,
Wait... Is that a horse??
loving this more and more, but word of advice, don't overdo it with the "introducing; some iconic species of dragon or epic established dragon" it gets a lot more difficult to write this well the more of that that you add
Gonna be honest wish he stayed female because now I wanna see smaug x nightfury
After dying in a plane crash(,) a human awakes in ancient Saddle Arabia, as "Coin Smaug" (use a - or parentheses { ( } here) a fan-made version of the terrible dragon from J.R.R. Tolkien's famous book series Lord of the Rings, (replace the comma with: a period if you used a -, or a parentheses { ) } then a period)
Becoming a savior of a kingdom running out of gold, a dark unicorn who wishes to bend all to his command, and then ending up thousands of years into the future after a battle against said dark unicorn?? ( Took me a sec to figure out what you were saying) (you might want to try something like "Read along as "coin smaug" becomes the Savior of a kingdom running out of gold, does battle against a dark unicorn who plans to bend all to his command, gets caught off guard as they are unwittingly thrown into the future, and attempts to prevent themselves from being turned into stone.")
Hopefully I don't end up turned to stone like everyone else, uh B-Kitty why are you grinning like that? (Remove this sentence)
Attention: Celestia, Luna and Main Six will not be in (the/this) story until a long time... ("Until a long time" is a little clunky, "for a long time" or "much later" fits much better)
..."character and main show characters friends early/instant" ( this is a bit confusing to read, you might want to try "the main character and main characters of the (MLP (optional)) show becoming friends very quickly")
I am looking for OC's to use in this s(t)ory as I cannot provide so many.("so many" is a bit awkward, "enough" might fit better)
Sex tag for sexual humor as some character(s (if multiple, otherwise replace "some" with "a")) will (, or -)at time(s)(same one you used before at) be immature and make those sort of jokes.
You had a few minor Grammer mistakes, but the biggest issue is that in the first part you switched between third person and first person without any transitions or quotes. You need to stick to one style. It doesn't matter if it's first or third person, people enjoy continuity (with the exception of discord).
However, the story is looking interesting. So keep doing what you are doing, but do it at your own pace.
hmm....
wonder if tiny Smaug can tunnel through rocks?
make some tunnels to sneakily travel around?
and HTTYD dragons eat lots of fish, right? and are good swimmers, i can see Zyon living near a lake
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Well I don't think think readers would want a proper description on my characters gender change, that would be weird and I did not feel comfortable adding in that stuff, the sex tag is adult humor not..that stuff
I hope you understand why I did not add the stuff that makes me uncomfortable (like seriously I'm under the age of 15)
As for the crashes when going down from the top, its mainly because Smaug's scales are hard as diamonds and being a human just before would make one clumsy and unused to the sudden change of body structure, I mean anyone would be highly clumsy and uncoordinated with a sudden change your original body was not designed for.
Anyways just wanted to explain and hope you like my story so far (if not that's your opinion and I'm fine with that)
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Well I didn't cry but I did feel really sad
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Because I forgot my trivia, and apparently he's referred to in the books as a Wyrm. So after looking it up I'm wrong and sad for another reason.
MORE!!!
This is Good shit.