All Around Love

by Leviathan Jaeger

Every fire begins with a spark

It was a quiet evening, the only sound in the house was the groaning of a certain rainbow haired girl. She sat in a recliner and messed with her phone. After checking her emails for the tenth time she looked at the time

"Come on Fluttershy, we're going to be late." Said the rainbow haired girl, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.

Fluttershy came out of her room and looked at the other girl. "I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but Angel needed to be fed. I didn't want him to be hungry while we were gone."

Rainbow Dash looked at her with a frustrated look. "You couldn't of done of it earlier?" She said as she got up to leave.

"I guess I should've, sorry Rainbow." Fluttershy said as she looked at the ground ashamed. Rainbow sighed and walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright Flutters, just, next time try to remember to do it beforehand." She said as she looked at her with smile, which Fluttershy happily returned. They then walked out of the house and to Rainbow's car.

When the Rainbooms and Dazzlings finally became friends they started a few new activities to get the whole group together, one of them being having a movie night every Friday night at the Dazzling's house. In the beginning everyone got there themselves, but in order to save gas they all came up the idea to car pull with each other. Rainbow Dash offered to car pull with Fluttershy, since she knew that Fluttershy didn't like to drive anyway. Besides, it gave her more time to be with her best friend. Rainbow and Fluttershy had been friends since they were in kindergarten, and they've only grown closer since, especially in the past year. Eventually they made it to the Dazzling's house. Once there Rainbow parked and got out with Flutters and preceded to the door. The Dazzling's had a comfortable house, not very fancy but also not simple. They knocked on the door, only for it to be answered a few minutes later by a perky blue haired girl.

"Hi! I'm so happy you two could make it!" Said the happy blue girl.

We're happy to see you to Sonata." Fluttershy said with a big smile. Sonata was leading them into the dining room when she heard a voice from the kitchen.

"Sonata, who's here first." Soon a purple haired girl emerged from the other room. "Oh, its Rainbow Ego and her animal loving sidekick." She said with no enthusiasm.

"Well hello to you to Aria, glad to see your in a happy mood." Came Rainbow's response, which made Fluttershy giggle. Aria rolled her eyes and went back in the kitchen.

Sonata looked back at the two girls. "Don't worry about Ari, she's just grumpy she didn't get to pick the movie again." The three girls giggled at this before they heard Aria say, "I heard that Sonata, now get in here and help me make the drinks."

Sonata left to join Aria in the kitchen. One of the things the Rainbooms didn't quite get about the Dazzlings is how Aria and Sonata managed to be good friends. Aria was usually grumpy while Sonata was usually joyful and full of life. They argued a lot, but despite this they were always together.

Rainbow and Fluttershy heard a knock at the door. They went and opened it to find Applejack and Rarity on the other side.

"Howdy Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, I'm surprised ya'll beat us here." Applejack said. "Yes, I'm rather shocked, but Rainbow probably speeds." Rarity said winking at Rainbow.

"No I don't! I'm actual a safe driver." retorted Rainbow. "I'll believe that if I see it for myself." said Rarity as she and Applejack entered the house. They were another pair who car pulled. But unlike the former, Rarity and Applejack took turns driving each other. Despite being very opposite of many different issues, they got along very well. Applejack would sometimes try dresses for Rarity, when she needed it, but Rarity rarely helped Applejack with farm work. Even so, they were very close to each other.

Sonata soon emerged to greet the new guests. "Hi! Welcome back!" She said with a perky smile.

"Howdy Sonata, how you doin?" asked Applejack as she and Rarity returned her smile.

"I'm doing great! Last night the three of us went to that taco restaurant down the street and it was glorious!" She said, jumping at the last part.

"Maybe for you." Aria said as she stood in the entrance of the kitchen. "I see the cowgirl and drama queen made it."

"Well one of those is right." Applejack said with a smile. Rainbow nudged Rarity with her elbow and whispered to her loudly. "Hint, it wasn't the cowgirl part."

"Hmph, really Rainbow Dash." The others laughed at her response, except for Aria who only smiled, when another knock came at the door. Sonata went and opened it to find Sunset standing outside.

"Hi Sunset! Welcome!" she said letting her in. "It's nice to see you to Sonata." Sunset said with a smile. Unlike the others Sunset didn't carpool with anyone, she decided to drive herself. The others smiled and waved at her when she joined the group. She looked around and saw the two sirens but not the third.

"Where's Adagio?" Sunset said, turning to Sonata.

"Right here Sunset." They turned to the sound of where the voice came from to see Adagio leaning against the wall behind. "I was upstairs fixing my hair." She said as she flipped some of it.

"Celestia forbid you don't have perfect puffiness of hair." Aria said dryly, looking at her leader approach the group.

"Your just jealous you can't have perfect hair Aria." she said, taking the spot next to Sunset, who she smiled at. Of all the sirens to be difficult in excepting friendship, Adagio was the most resilient when it came to it. But Sunset reached out to her and helped her understand it. Since then they formed a close friendship, which no one saw coming.

"Well, its lookin like everyone is here, except for Pinkie." Applejack stated.

"Oh she couldn't make it tonight, to much work at Sugarcube Corner." Sonata replied with haste.

"Pinkie is missing a get together with all of us, I think the world is ending." Rainbow said as the group walked into the living room. They all entered and got their drinks from Aria and Sonata. Rarity looked around confused for a minute.

"Darlings, what happened to your other love seat?" The other Rainbooms looked around and noticed it was gone too. Usually there was a four person couch, two love seats, and one recliner.

Aria frowned and pointed to Sonata. "That idiot broke it."

"I didn't mean to" Sonata said trying to defend herself.

"Your the worst Sonata."

"No, your the worst."

"Your both the worst." Adagio said coming between them, hoping to start a argument. "We'll just have to improvise."

Everyone started taking their normal spots. Applejack, Rarity, Sonata, and Aria took the couch; Fluttershy and Rainbow dash tool the love seat; and Adagio took the recliner. This left Sunset to figure out where to sit.

"Oh Sunny, you can sit with me." Adagio said as she made room on the recliner.

"Alright." Sunset said as she sat next to her. It was close seating, a little to close, but Sunset didn't mind.

Adagio ran her finger across Sunset's chin while whispering in her ear, "Now we can cuddle and watch the movie. How about you sit on my lap and I can bring you as I wrap my arms around you."

"What! No." Sunset responded. Adagio merely laughed poked Sunset in the cheek. "I'm just kidding, your so easy to tease."

Sunset rolled her eyes and sat back. Ever since they became friends one of Adagio's favorite things to do was tease Sunset, mostly because she took things to literally. Sunset didn't mind it to much, but there was times where it got annoying. She also had a problem telling if Adagio was genuine or not.

Sonata put the movie in and they started to watch it. It was a normal by the books action movie, but everyone enjoyed it. But for a few, they were enjoying someone else's company more than the movie. But soon, like every movie, it ended and the group started to talk to each other. After about a hour or two people were deciding it was time to leave. Sunset got up to leave but Adagio held on to her arm.

"Going so soon." She said looking at the pony turned human. "Well, I do have homework this weekend that I need to get done." came Sunset's answer.

Adagio gently pulled her back into the chair. "But that's what Saturday and Sunday are for, besides, wouldn't you like to spend more time with me." She said, looking Sunset directly in the eyes.

"Al.....Alright, I'll stay a little longer, just for you. After all, you are my best friend." They both smiled at each other and started a conversation.

The others had made their way through the house and to the door. Sonata said good bye to them all and wished them a good night. She soon made her way back to the kitchen and saw Aria cleaning the drinking cups. "Do you need any help Ari?" She asked helpfully.

"No, I don't. And why do you call me that?" She asked.

"Because your my best friend Aria, and best friends give nicknames to each other." Sonata stated, walking over to her.

"Yeah, whatever." Aria sad grumply. She suddenly stopped what she was doing when Sonata gave her a hug from behind. "You may not think of me as your bestie, but your definitely mine." Sonata said as she squeezed Aria.

Aria spun around and hugged her back. "Your.........Your my....best friend to, Sonata." She said with genuinely. Sonata smiled in the hug. "I knew it!." She said happily.

"But let me before someone sees us." Aria said quickly. "Alright Ari." Sonata said, letting her go. Soon Aria finished the dishes and headed in the direction of her room, with Sonata right behind her. On the way she passed Sunset and Adagio still sitting in the recliner.

"Sunset, why are you still here?" Aria asked curiously.

Sunset looked over at the two. "Adagio asked me to stay longer."

Aria gave them a confused face. "Weird. You know you could've moved over to the couch instead of staying in the recliner." She stated dryly. Both Sunset and Adagio realized they were still in the recliner, which made them both laugh.

"Oh well, its not like we mind." Adagio said. "You guys are weird." Aria said as she made her way to her room. Eventually Sunset left, leaving Adagio sitting in the living room alone.

"Your always so happy when Sunsets around." Sonata said standing behind the recliner.

"Of course she does, she's my best friend." Adagio said getting up. "Just like how Aria makes you happy." she said as she walked past Sonata, smirking. Sonata blushed a little and ran after Adagio saying, "Not funny."

Rarity and Applejack arrived at the Apples family farm to drop the latter off. "I appreciate ya driving Rares." Applejack said, looking at Rarity

"But of course darling, I enjoy our rides together." She said happily

"Yeah, so do I. Well, I'll be seeing you." Applejack said as she got out of the car. "Good bye, say hi to Applebloom for me." And with that Rarity drove home with a smile on her face.

Rainbow walked with Fluttershy to her door. "Sadly Flutters, I guess this ends the night." Rainbow said opening her door for her. Fluttershy merely nodded. Before walking in she gave Rainbow Dash a hug. "Good night Dashie." "Good night Flutters." And with that they parted and FLuttershy walked into her house. Rainbow got in her car and drove home, feeling good inside.

Author's Note:

I hope everyone that reads this enjoys it. It's my first time writing a story, so any feed back would be happily accepted.

Comments

[NaiadSagaIotaOar]

Firstly, this site can always use more siren stories. Love the Dazzlings to death, so I’m always excited to see more people writing them

Now, I’m going to come out and say that this is a lot better than how I remember my first attempts at writing a story turned out, but there’s also a lot of room for improvement. Sorry in advance for the massive post, but there were a number of small things that I think you could correct to make your writing better.

Okay, so. Your opening paragraph is weak and clunky.

It was a quiet evening, the only sound in the house was the groaning of a certain rainbow haired girl.

First of all, if “the only sound in the house was the groaning,” doesn’t that imply that it was pretty quiet? Saying both of those things is redundant, and the latter part is the more evocative, so there’s not much reason to say both. Furthermore, the audience already knows who all of these characters are, and they all know each other in the story as well, so there’s very little point in not coming out and saying their names right away. You could replace that whole first sentence with, “The only sound in the house was Rainbow Dash’s groaning,” and I think you’d be more concise while expressing the same ideas.

She sat in a recliner and messed with her phone. After checking her emails for the tenth time she looked at the time

Firstly, notice that you used the word “time” twice in the same sentence. Not to say you can’t do that, but it’s better to avoid it if you can. Is there maybe a clock or something Rainbow Dash could look at instead? Also, “messed with her phone,” is pretty vague, and you mention a more specific detail (Checking email for the tenth time) right afterwards. In general, specific actions are more evocative, so those are the kinds of things you want to use. You could rewrite this sentence as, “She sat in a recliner, checking her emails for the tenth time, when she looked at the clock.”

Couple other things:

"Come on Fluttershy, we're going to be late." Said the rainbow haired girl, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.

This is going to be a little weird and confusing, I’m afraid. When you use a dialogue tag (Said, stated, inquired, asseverated, etc.), you use a comma instead of a period and you don’t capitalize. In that case, it’s kind of like the dialogue and the attribution are all part of the same sentence, so you don’t interrupt them with a period.

So this sentence should read, “ ‘Come on Fluttershy, we’re going to be late,’ said the rainbow haired girl, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.”

Alternatively, if you had said, “ ‘Come on Fluttershy, we’re going to be late.’ The rainbow haired girl shifted uncomfortably in the chair,” then you could capitalize and use a period because there’s an action but no dialogue tag.

The same rule applies when you want to use exclamation or question marks, but the punctuation doesn’t change based on whether there’s a dialogue tag or not, just the capitalization.

"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but Angel needed to be fed. I didn't want him to be hungry while we were gone."

There’s nothing inherently wrong with how you’ve written this, but most people would probably use the contraction “we’re” there instead of the full “we were.”

"Your just jealous you can't have perfect hair Aria."

Watch your homonyms. “Your” is a possessive adjective, so you can only use it if “his” or “her” would also make sense. Here, you’re describing a state of being, so you need to use “you’re,” instead.

Applejack, Rarity, Sonata, and Aria took the couch; Fluttershy and Rainbow dash tool the love seat; and Adagio took the recliner.

I don’t know that it’s technically wrong to use semicolons there, since you’re breaking up what could be multiple independent clauses, but there’s nothing stopping you from using the less obtrusive comma. Not to say there’s anything wrong with semicolons, but they’re less common then commas, so they pop out more and that’s not always a good thing for punctuation to do. You could rewrite this sentence as “Applejack, Rarity, Sonata and Aria took the couch, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash took the love seat, and Adagio took the recliner.”

However, I would also question whether or not it’s really important that the reader know exactly where everybody sat. It feels to me like Adagio getting the recliner, Sunset being left standing and everybody else filling the other seats are really the only important details. Could you say something like this, maybe?

The girls distributed themselves amongst the seats, but coming up one short left Sunset with little space. “Oh, Sunny, you can sit with me.” Adagio made room on the recliner, beckoning to Sunset.

That’s just a suggestion, of course, but I feel like that captures the necessary information more succinctly than what you have there right now, and that’s something you should definitely be thinking about. Specific details are good things, but also think about which details are right to mention. There’s obviously not enough space in a story to describe every single aspect of a scene, so try and figure out which parts matter and which parts don’t, and then exclude the latter.

"Going so soon." She said looking at the pony turned human. "Well, I do have homework this weekend that I need to get done." came Sunset's answer.

There was only on other time I saw this happen, so I’m not going to put up too much of a fuss, but still. If two different people are speaking, they should never both speak in the same paragraph.

“Your.........Your my....best friend to, Sonata”

More homonyms. These should also be “you’re,” because you’re describing something. Also, that should be a “too,” not a “to.” The former is an adverb, the latter is a preposition. So you can throw something to someone, but you can’t throw something too someone. Also, ellipses. Three dots, no more. I know it’s tempting to use more to represent a longer pause, but it’s not correct. Just stick with three.

Lastly, I’d suggest combing through at least one more time just to catch a few more typos. Missing or superfluous punctuation, improper capitalization, that kind of thing. As I said, you’re not off to a bad start if this is your first attempt at writing a story, especially when writing a scene with this many characters. I’d love to see you keep at it, though!

[Leviathan Jaeger]

Thank you for your comment. I'll try to remember these things for future chapters. Your help is very appreciated!

[OmniFox]

Stupid, sexy puffy hair!

[bahatumay]

>car pull
I don't think the amount of gas saved is worth the effort it takes to physically pull a car.
Try carpool.

[livinthelife]

All in all pretty decent. The poster above me covered a lot of the problems. Another thing to remember with dialogue is to not put more than one speaker in a paragraph. It makes it much more difficult than necessary to follow who's saying what. Great first effort, though.