Journal of Occasional Nonsensicality

by Acryliks

...she what?

"So when did you get the chance to go on a tour of this place?" Vinyl asked me as she caught up to Octavia and I.

"When I first met the princess for, uh... legal reasons... she told me that if I ever wanted a tour of the palace to ask. I figured I'd take her up on the opportunity," I explained.

"Well I'm glad you decided to bring us along! This place is amazing! The architecture is even more beautiful on the inside!" Octavia exclaimed, looking every which way as we walked through the halls of Canterlot Castle.

"Heh heh... are you sure she didn't say a 'private tour,' Daniel?" Vinyl smirked at me.

"Actually, yeah, she did. She told me to meet her in her bedchambers after we finish here," I nonchalantly said.

"Wait wait... are you serious!?" Vinyl stopped in her tracks. I turned to look at her.

"No, you idiot, of course not!" I shook my head as I went back to following the tour guide.

"Man... don't joke about that kind of stuff! I was so jealous for a minute there!" Vinyl pouted.

"Pfft, do you even swing that way?" I asked.

"Hey man, I'll swing any way for a princess."

"Please you two, quit being so juvenile and pay attention," Octavia silenced us, motioning to our waiting guide.

"Ahem... on your right here are the Palace Gardens. This is Princess Celestia's favourite place in the whole castle. She spends a lot of her free time here with all of the fauna and animals. She might even be here now! Feel free to take a look around, but do try to be quiet as you may startle the animals," our guide told us.

"Thanks, we'll be careful," I advocated for us as we entered the gardens.

This place was legendary. I had read that the Palace Gardens were hailed as the single most diverse collection of fauna and live animals in Equestria. Everything from herbs and flowers to deer and even a few species of exotic birds called the gardens home. The collection here was personally curated by the Princess herself, with help from a small and very choice team of botanists and animal experts. The grounds were immaculately kept, terribly clean, and overall a stunning example of beauty.

"Holy shit, they have parrots here!?" Vinyl yelled as she ran off.

"So much for being quiet," Octavia rolled her eyes.

"Come on Tavi, let's see what we can find," I called to her. She nodded, and together we set off down a different path than the one Vinyl had taken.

Overall it was a wonderful day out. The sun was shining bright, and only a few clouds here and there dotted the sky. I think a few clouds were better than no clouds, but some might disagree with me.

The gardens were quiet, something that I was quite thankful for. Looking around, I could see that what I had read held true. Many different types of flowers, trees, and herbs swayed gently in the breeze around us. I didn't recognize most of the fauna here, and some of the things here looked absolutely foreign to me. Based on my travel experience, they very well could be!

"This place is absolutely marvellous. I can't think of a single place I'd rather be right now," Octavia broke the silence.

"I know what you mean. What else in Canterlot looks like this? The Conservatory?" I thought aloud.

"Even the Conservatory has its limits. It has a sun roof, remember? But here... look! Look at how tall that tree is! Much taller than what the Conservatory could hold," she pointed out. I gazed up, seeing what she was talking about. A tall tree, which looked like a maple, towered above us, reaching far into the sky.

"I get what you mean. Hey, let's check that out," I pointed off to my right, seeing a large fountain down a connecting path.

"Let's," Octavia agreed. Walking together, we set off for the fountain. Coming into a clearing, we found that the fountain was the center of a small park, with benches scattered around the area.

"Wow, how pretty is this?" I mused. Walking around the fountain, I noticed that there were small fish in the water, darting around every which way. I pointed silently to them, showing Octavia what I had found. She looked, giggling at the sight.

"Enjoying the gardens, my friends?" I heard a voice ask from behind us. Octavia and I turned around, only to find the one and only Princess Celestia approaching us.

"Yes, this place is incredibly beautiful Princess," I told her with a warm smile.

"I'm glad you finally decided to take the tour, Daniel," she smiled back, before looking to Octavia.

"Ah, Miss Octavia Melody. We've met in passing at the gala, but I don't believe we've ever had the chance to become formally acquainted. Pleased to finally meet you," she greeted.

"Your Highness, it is an honour. Your garden is simply brilliant," Octavia commented.

"Thank you. It's one of my most prized accomplishments. Tell me, did you two come by yourselves?" Celestia asked. Octavia and I glanced at each other.

"Oh, no, our friend Vinyl is around here somewhere. She ran off when she saw the parrots around here," I explained. I noticed Octavia blushing again.

...hm...

"Ahem... so what are you doing out here, Princess?" I broke the silence.

"Oh, me? I'm working on conducting our annual census of the different varieties of fauna in the gardens. My team and I do this every year to track the growth and development of the wildlife here," she told me, pulling a book out of the saddlebags she was wearing.

"We're almost done, and just in time, too. It's been more difficult this year. Our main bookkeeper left the library team recently, and he took his assistant with him. We've been looking to replace both positions for a while now," she lamented. I nodded in understanding, before feeling a slight nudge on my right leg. I looked down at Octavia. She nudged me again, and I leaned down to hear her.

"...you could do that," she whispered to me once I could hear her. I looked at her, standing back up as I did. Before I could say anything, the Princess spoke.

"Say, Daniel... you used to work at a library, correct?" she asked me.

"That's right Princess. I worked at the library in the West Station division for five years," I recalled. Celestia nodded in consideration.

"Yes, I remember now. You were the primary bookkeeper there, weren't you?" she smiled.

"Yep. I started as an assistant, but they moved me up to primary after four months. I think they were looking for a new one for a while."

"Interesting. Very interesting..." Celestia spoke quietly. I nodded in agreement.

"...Daniel, are you currently looking for employment?" Celestia tilted her head at me with a smile. I briefly thought about what she was offering.

"Uh..." I stumbled. A sharp jab from the mare next to me brought me back to my senses and made Celestia giggle.

"...I... yes," I stated.

"Well, what a coincidence! You seem to have just the skills that we're looking for!" Celestia exclaimed. I detected the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"If you are interested in the position, you can forward your resume to the employment department of the castle, and I'll ensure that it comes straight to me," she continued.

"Of course. I'll do that as soon as I get home today," I reassured her.

"Excellent. Don't worry, I'm sure you'd make an excellent fit on the castle team!" she smiled warmly.

"Thank you Princess," I nodded.

"Please, just Celestia is more than fine, and don't let anyone else tell you two otherwise," Celestia told us, and both Octavia and I nodded in understanding, Celestia turning her eyes towards my friend.

"Miss Melody, I assume I can count on you and your quartet to perform at the gala again this year?" she asked.

"Of course, Princess. We wouldn't miss it for the world," she nodded firmly.

"Excellent! Everything is in order, then! Do make sure you get your resume in to the employment department, Daniel."

"Of course, Celestia," I responded.

"Well, I need to continue our census. It was a pleasure talking to you two. Thank you for taking the time to visit the gardens. If you ever want to come back, all you need to do is ask. You and your friend Vinyl are more than welcome here anytime," Celestia told us, slowly walking past us and towards the opposite side of the fountain.

"Oh, and Daniel, one more thing," she stopped. She looked to Octavia, who quickly took the hint. With a graceful bow, she turned and walked away to a bench to wait for me.

Once she was out of earshot, Celestia leaned towards me.

"So, how do you like that mare?" she asked me bluntly. I barely flinched at the question, formulating my answer as quickly as I could.

"She's... she's a wonderful mare, with an incredible heart. I'm lucky to have her as my friend," I spoke truthfully, Celestia nodding as I spoke.

"I see... have you asked her out yet?"

I swallowed some air at the question, a large coughing fit overtaking me. Celestia waited for me with a smile.

"I- she's... ugh... no, I have not asked her out. Why do you need to know?" I managed.

"Just curious, really."

"Hm, an interesting thing to be curious about."

"Mhm."

"..."

"..."

"...you should ask her out," Celestia spoke. I stared at her, then over to Octavia, then back to Celestia.

"I... no," I stumbled.

"Why not?"

"I... she doesn't even like me..."

"Daniel, please, don't insult me. I've lived for over a thousand years. I can tell when two people are in love just as well as Princess Cadence can, and she's the Princess of Love!" Celestia argued. I briefly thought about what she was saying for a moment.

"And you know what? She likes you and you like her too," she continued. I met Celestia's eyes, contemplating what to say next. Celestia draped a wing over my shoulder, pulling me in closer.

"Look, you don't need to argue with me. All you need to know is that she likes you, and you like her, and if you want to deprive yourself of her company then so be it," she told me, patting me on the back before pushing me towards Octavia.

"Go on. Do whatever you want with that information. Take care Daniel, until next time," she ushered me away. With a wave to Octavia, Celestia took her leave, disappearing behind a hedge as she snickered to herself.

Hm...

"What was that about?" Octavia asked as I approached her.

"I- oh, nothing. Just some info about the job," I lied, scratching the back of my head.

"Mhm... well, shall we go and try to find Vinyl?"

"Sure, let's go," I agreed.

We spent the rest of our time in the gardens searching for our friend. The whole time we looked, Celestia's words kept replaying in my mind.

She likes you...

Is she right...?

...maybe...

Author's Note:

A longer one this time, but I hope you enjoyed reading it! Things are getting a little saucy...

Thanks for reading!