1: Not Part Of The Deal
Chapter 1: Not Part Of The Deal
I yawned as I woke up from my sleep. Wow, I just don't remember the last time I slept so well. I stretched my limbs as I picked myself up off the ground. Wait...ground? Last I checked, I fell asleep in a bed. I opened my eyes. This was not my room in the apartments. I was not sure where I was, but there were a lot of trees, it was hard to tell what the time of day it was, and I could smell something stagnant in the air. Maybe it was a swamp?
I looked around and managed to get myself on my feet. If that pill really did work, it didn't do such a good job of making me Volvagia, I thought to myself. First things first, I need to find something that can show my reflection. For some reason, my stomache wasn't growling. Usually, when I wake up, it's very angry that I ignored it all night and wants me to make it a sammich or something. Hey, less I have to eat, the more I can survive the week. I noticed light bouncing off of the surface of a small puddle to the right. Maybe I could use it and see what happened.
Well, folks, I got there in 5 seconds. And within 2 seconds of looking at the reflection in the puddle, I lost all claims to masculinity with the girliest shriek you will EVER hear. As soon as I reclaimed my sanity and a shred of dignity, I looked at the reflection again. Staring back at me was a skeleton. Yes, you read that right, a skeleton.
I gotta say, he looked pretty...badass. An iron pauldron on each shoulder, light blue gloves on his hands, with matching shorts and cloth boots, and a brown belt around the waist. Only thing I didn't really like was the helmet: way too small to be of any use if it's not covering your whole head. Wait, do I spy...? Yes! Spike bands around the ankles and wrists! This guy looked like he died in battle, and just came back to life to strangle his killer!
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. If he's staring back at me, there's only one logical explanation for it. I opened my eyes and raised my right hand. He raised his left. I tilted my head to the left. He tilted his to the right. I sneezed. "Bless you," he said.
"Thank you," I said absently. Wait...WHAT?!? I looked back at the reflection. He was laughing. Laughing! I wasn't laughing, why was he laughing?!? He had that deep voice, you know? The one a commanding officer would have when he wanted his troops to remember their place.
"Hahahaha! Oh, it's been too long since I've seen another soul around here!" the skeleton laughed. "I'm just amazed he looks like me!"
"Like you?" I asked. I lifted my hand to my face and sure enough, it had a light blue glove covering it up, with a spiked wristband where the glove ended. Past it was nothing but bone. Looking down at my body, it matched even more. The shorts, the belt, the shoes with the spiked bands around the ankles. My shoulders were even covered by the iron pauldrons that the reflection wore. He was right: I was the spitting image of him. What exactly happened to me?
"I bet you're wondering what happened to you," the water skeleton said. Ooh, he's good. "I don't rightly know myself. But, right now, that doesn't matter, because I need your help."
"My help? I don't even know where I am, much less why I'm dead!" I protested. "How can I help you?!?"
"It's actually pretty simple," he responded. "See, I'm a bit...cursed right now to stay in this little puddle until someone, or something, can break that curse. As you can imagine, not many individuals really come this way."
"No, I actually couldn't imagine," I deadpanned. "I've only been here for 10 minutes, so I don't know which paths are more travelled than others."
He nodded in contemplation. "You may be telling the truth...but you're the only one I can rely on right now. So will you help me?"
I had to think on this. Sure, maybe I had just lost my mind and am actually talking to myself. I wouldn't be surprised, since it seems to be a common habit, according to close friends. Maybe this skeleton isn't cursed: it's a punishment for doing something evil and he's looking for an unwitting pawn to release him so he can catch up on lost time. Or maybe, this is the most likely idea, just MAYBE this is a crazy, lucid dream from that black pill I ingested before I went to sleep. One way to find out, and I really didn't like my choice.
"Alright, I'll help," I sighed. "But before I do, I need 3 questions answered."
The skeleton laughed again. "I've spent nearly half a millenium stuck in this puddle! A few more minutes isn't going to hurt me!"
Great, I'm dealing with a snarky skeleton. "First off, where am I?" First and foremost in any adventure: know where you are. You can't save the world if you don't know you're supposed to be here, not there.
"That's a simple one," he nodded. "You're in the Black Marsh. Really nice place, but filled with disease and ruin. Only resiliant creatures and undead monsters can thrive here."
Undead monsters. So glad I could join their group. "Second question, what exactly are you?"
"Do your eyes not work? Oh, that's right, you don't have them anymore." He let out another laugh. I shot him a glare. Or tried to, since you need, y'know, eyes, to shoot glares. He got the message, though. "Alright, alright, alright. Most creatures call us 'skeletons.' Me, I prefer our given names. The Stalfos."
Stalfos? Oh, no, I KNEW I recognized that look! Oh, this one's gonna be beautiful to try and explain to the next passerby I meet. I took a deep breath. This last question was really gonna grate at me if I kept it to myself.
"How exactly did you get here?"
The skeleton...excuse me, Stalfos...seemed to sigh at this question. "That's not for me to say so soon. If I get out of here, I'll answer that question in full."
He tapped his chin, as if he had forgotten something. Then something clicked. "Ah, we've been talking this whole time, and I never even properly introduced myself!" He removed the poor excuse of a helmet and held it over where his heart should be. "You may call me Keeta. Who do I have the honor of addressing?"
Should I use my real name? ...no, I never believed it to be what I wanted it to be: intimidating. But looking at myself, I remembered a hero who was a skeleton. Would he notice? Not likely, but I gave it a shot, anyway. I removed my own helmet, but instead of putting over where my heart should be, I tossed it to the side. No way am I keeping that thing. "My name is Daniel Fortesque," I responded. "And I shall free you from this prison."
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interesting story. I'll give it a try.
Just seeing that this story exists makes me SO HAPPY!!!!
Not bad. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
And you didn't make any grammar mistakes! Congrats!
moar
Ah good I got here before the others.
Well, Hello I am Troutking the unofficial greeter to our game!
I like the story so far. Skeleton still surprised your the only one to do the human skeleton thing.
Anyway good luck on your story and thanks for the feeding
Lol Medievil i loved that game
Ah yeeees. Captain Keeta. That guy. Took my brain a couple of twirls to get that.
A message from Skeleton Jack, Goddess of Tartarus:
"Your ass is mine, Stalfos. Come to me and I will bring you to glory, deny me my rightful place and I will break your armies and shatter your lands."
MEDIEVIL?! DUDE, AWESOME! xD
964580
isn't skeleton Jack a dude?
Daniel Fortesque. Your badass, you are.
Keeta. Captain Keeta, from Majora's Mask? Wait, but Captain Keeta wasn't a Stalfos. He looked more like a giant Stalchild.
Calling it, he's lying.
Cap'n Keeta? ICWYDT.
Not sure who this Fortesque guy is, though.
1343046 Look up a game called Medievil.
I would have gone with Skulduggery Pleasant...
2467193 YES!
He had the perfect chance to be known as Link...
2703441 FUCK LINK
2703055 MORE YES!
1264402 Even though he died from getting shot with an arrow in his right eye (or was it is left eye?)....from all the arrows that flew over him...and he died first as well...
Even a silly Helm is protection... Bad move ;p