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Chapter 11

Chapter 11
Lycan's Awakening - Stage 1, Acceptance

I was alone. Again.
It was becoming a habit for me to just be left in solitude when I had either a choice to make or a revelation to ponder, it was sort of nice not to have somebody hounding me when I needed to become lost in my thoughts. Nothing more annoying than that one person who no matter how many times you tell them 'I don't want to talk about it' keep on asking 'what's the matter?' over and over and over.
But to oppose that point, I wanted company; the kind you can just talk to without them judging or commenting every three words. It would be nice to have my own portable Sunny right about now.
I dragged my paws up from the ash and looked around for traces of Grotto, for an old cripple he sure could shift it. The elder dog was nowhere to be seen. He was a phantom; in front of your eyes one second only to vanish when you turn away. To be so old but so like a ninja; his middle name must have been Snake.

Obscure references aside I was hardly surprised that Grotto had been able to get away so fast. He was probably a cyborg ninja that used the old man thing as a front to lower you guard. I would accept him being two filly's standing one on top of the other; I seriously didn't put anything beneath this world as it had a track record for making me say 'wait, what?' internally.
I gave the insignia on the tree one last look over.
Return is that of crimson?
Worst case scenario would be that I'm going to die.
Don't ask me for the best case; I don't know what the heck to say.

So that was my purpose in this world? Or was this another cosmic ploy by those who see the threads of fate as strings to be idly plucked? Was it my fate to be eternally beaten back by the evermore serpentine threads of destiny that had begun to slowly tighten as a noose around my neck?
What does the will of the divines have against the Irish?

I kicked another cloud of ash into the air and swore to whatever was listening that I wasn't going to let them win.

Subject Lycan has advanced further then expected. Already he has found the charred glade; he is ahead of scheduled time by four days.

'Hunter requests permission to engage with a low-level probe.'

........

'Chance of subject failure in encounter with low-level probe: 40%'

.........

'I request that I may use the probe'

..........

'I don't see you doing what I'm doing so why should you decide what I can and can't do?'

Hunter stumbled as intense fiery pain tore through its head.

'Yes sir, I understand that I spoke out of turn. But I must once more request that I deploy a probe; he has gone far too long without a challenge.'
.............

'Thank you sir, Hunter out.'

Deploying probe gamma, low level spectre type.

Subject Lycan will now be engaged.

I cursed again and started to wander away from the tree trunk. My ears pricked up almost involuntarily as I picked up the minute sound of footfall. I continued to walk in the direction I presume I had come from, the slow footfall still following me.
My mouth curled to reveal my fangs; I was armed and ready to engage if the need arose.
The footfall stopped as did I.
It was a moment of nervous anticipation, had I been imagining it? I hadn't. Something was wrong with this picture.

The back of my head whispered almost sarcastically 'move' and I jumped into the air activating the Skydance to keep myself aloft. There it was, just where I had been standing not a second earlier. Whatever it was it looked like a Diamond Dog composed of shadow matter. Its claws were buried in the dirt from where it had tried to back-stab me; it clearly wasn't intelligent.
Now I could have just danced away and left it, but to at the very least try to defend my violent actions, I did have some steam to blow off. Disabling the Skdydance I angled myself into a shape closely resembling a cylinder and dove towards the shadow dog. I wasn't exactly going quickly but nor was I slow enough to be avoided by the stuck-in-place shadow dog. I crashed into the helpless shadow and clamped my jaws around his neck causing the thing to squeal in a weirdly distorted manner. It was kind of similar to that sound you get when you talk into a fan.
It scratched into my flanks as I increased the pressure on its neck; this thing was going to crack sooner or later and I was fully prepared to apply as much pressure as needed to make that happen. This thing would submit to my strength.

What the hell am I doing?

I think it was me who said that but I couldn't tell. My jaw remained firmly locked around the creatures neck but the hold slackened just slightly. That base primal urge to eliminate the threat towards my life had been sapped away by a small crash of realism, I was claiming a life without any regrets or qualms.
Was this really what I wanted to do?

I've heard all about the idea of survival of the fittest. Only the one who has the skills, adaptations and intelligence to survive will remain, the others will be killed off by the full force of nature's wrath. I knew that if I didn't start to kill I would be killed myself; however something within me detested the idea of such an act. I've never been a pacifist, not by a long shot, but neither have I been one to want to cause pain for the sake of causing pain. It just seemed wrong to claim life so freely.
A wolf who can't kill, next there's gonna be a shark without teeth.
My life was becoming contradictory towards who I was. Bullshit, I'm not anybody any more.

I'm a kid who got lucky and offered a new chance at life. Now I'm being hunted by fate as it concocts evermore deviated ways to push me to my moral limits. I wasn't going to outrun this gargantuan foe; I had to take a stand. I would have to make a choice that nobody my age should have to make.
I would live and probably die on my feet, dogged by the cosmic foe that I called destiny and fate as it tried its best to slay me.
Or I would live on my knees, bent over and prepared to be the bottom-bitch of fate as it screwed me at every chance it had.

I wasn't going to escape a horrid fate by being nice and accepting. This world reeked of injustice and corruption; bollocks to all that peace and wonder crap Yiang gave me on entry to Equestria. This place was rife with evil; I could almost smell it. The only way I was going to counter some of these evils was to commit a few of my own. To align myself with Kuroko and shun Asura. I must become what I have been for days but never accepted.

I would hunt those weaker than me if it were needed.
I protect my kin, companions and mates with all the power I could offer.
I shall run in the night as swift and silent as a spectre.
I must embrace the feral instincts I possess and make them serve me, but never allow myself to become a slave to instinct.
I will partake of the flesh from the bones my quarry without it being charred by fire.

My name is Lycan of Equestria, a being gifted with power of the forces of magic and a spirit that will never give in.
I am a beast of the wilds.
I am here to live my life.
I am the one who will paint my fate as I see fit.

But first I must accept what I am in body and mind.

I tightened my jaw to vice-like proportions and twisted in mid-air, the creatures neck gave a loud 'CRACK' as it was spun around a full three-hundred and sixty degrees. The shadowy Diamond Dog gargled pathetically as a small trickle of black ooze dripped from its nose. The thing shuddered violently as it was claimed by the darkness of death.
I had done what I needed; I have claimed the life of one weaker than me.
Looking down at the body of the shadow dog I felt a huge weight well up within my chest, it felt good!

For the first time ever I rose my head towards the sky, and I howled like the wolf I am

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