The Pony Anastasia

by Creativa-Artly01

Chapter 1

It's a new day and Trixie is out at lunch with the Mane Six and Starlight. As they are eating their sandwiches and drinking their lemonade, Starlight raises the question. "Whatever happened to your family, Trixie?"

"Well," replies Trixie, "you see. I was born into a gypsy tribe of unicorns and pegasi. As you know, gypsy tribes were mocked, scorned, hated. Because of that, as the leader of our gypsy group, my father was often getting thrown again and my mother would always try her best to keep herself hidden and secret fearing the same would happen to her. Because of that, she gave birth to me in a dark alley. Not long after, she was found and thrown face first into the mud. No pony noticed me watching. After all, who would notice a foal. I hid in the alley as I watched the guards torture my parents and the rest of my kind. Within hours, most of the rest of the gypsies were either dead or rounded up and headed to concentration camps. My mom was lying dead in the street and dad was lying beside her, his head bashed in, dead as well. After that, I managed to struggle to the outskirts of the town where I was found by an older unicorn named Stardust and his wife Red Rose. They took me in as their own and raised me alongside their own children. I felt at home and appreciated with them. When I was old enough, they even scraped up enough money for me to go and attend magic school, so off I went to Canterlot. As I headed for Canterlot in the train, I couldn't help but feel bad for leaving Stardust and Red Rose. I know they scraped up the money for me to go, but I still couldn't help but feel like I was abandoning them. My first day of magic school, I did very well and impressed all my teachers. They saw that I had a real gift for magic. Even so, they noticed a bit more than that. They noticed that my magic wasn't the correct hue. They saw that it was a light, paler version of the color it should have been. My magic wasn't fully there. Because of my lack of strong magic, I was teased and taunted, so I resorted to becoming the class clown. It was what they saw me as anyways, so I figured why not give in to what they saw me as. Then I realized, no wonder my birth mother tried to hide me when I was born. She knew my magic wasn't as strong as it should have been. After four of my six years at the magic school, I dropped out and ran as far away from Canterlot as I could possibly get. I then remembered a story I was told as a child, the story of Anastasia. Like Anastasia, I was an outcast. I was the pony version of Anastasia, so I took on a new name. I took on the name Trixie Lulamoon, for you see, my birth name was actually Weak Spark. Besides, Trixie is also what my adoptive parents called me, so I decided to take it as my new name. I then went and began a new life in the mountains before moving to Manehattan and became a showman a few years later. I was finally happy. I finally had a life I could be proud of. I didn't care that I had thrown all the money from those two final years down the drain by leaving the magic school. Performing was my life then, just like it is now."

"Wow, I had no idea," replies Twilight shocked. "Why have you never told any pony this before?"

"Because I didn't want ponies to see me as weak," replies Trixie, tears forming in her eyes. A few minutes later, she breaks out into a flood of tears. The others surround her and do their best to comfort her.

"Poor Trixie," sighs Starlight. "Poor, poor Trixie."

"Yeah, poor Trixie," replies Twilight.

"Okay, okay, I think I can continue," says Trixie, wiping the tears from her eyes. She resumes her story. "As I was doing a show one night, I noticed two familiar faces in the crowd, it was my adoptive parents. I smiled as I sent fireworks shooting into the air. Did they hate me for letting their money go to waste? I had to wonder. Alas, their faces didn't look disappointed but proud. I couldn't help but smile. I was glad they were proud of me. After the performance, I went out to lunch with them and we caught up, sharing stories, laughs, and smiles. We had a great time and spent the entire day together. The two then told me about my condition of which I was already aware. They told me how they tried to give me a normal life despite my lack of pure and powerful magic. This gave me a new appreciation of them, it made me see them in a new light. That night, I shared a hug with them before they headed on their way. I then went back to my apartment for the night. I then pulled a book down from my shelf. It was mother's before she died. I turned to the page where she had a picture of she, myself, and father hidden, pulled it out, and looked at it. They may have not loved me, but they were still my parents and I loved them. I miss them, I really do. I miss my gypsy tribe. They are all probably dead by this point."

Some more tears fall from Trixie's eyes. She then sniffles. She pulls that same picture out of her cape pocket. She shows it to her friends. They stare at the picture stunned.

"You look happy," says Starlight.

"Yeah, I know," replies Trixie. "They may not have loved me, but I couldn't help but love them. After all, I was a foal that relied on them. I was a foal when they were killed in front of me. It scarred me for several years of my life. I'm honestly surprised I can still look at this picture with no remorse whatsoever."

"That's because they were family," replies Twilight.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," replies Trixie.

The next day, Trixie goes, with picture in hand, to the old gypsy settlement. She looks down at the dust and destroyed wagons. A frown appears on her face and tears fall from her eyes. She falls onto the ground and lets the tears flood down her face and into the dirt. She stays there for two hours before finally getting up and leaving the old settlement and returning to Ponyville. Back in her house, Trixie breaks into tears once again. She is finally realizing she misses her birth parents and that, to her, is the weirdest feeling in the entire world.

Comments

[Mooncalf]

Okay, wow. WOW. Where do I begin?

How about the fact that ponies being tortured, slaughtered and forced into concentration camps are mentioned as a brief aside and never brought up again? These things are synonymous with atrocities in the real world, and yet it's of so little concern to the narrative that it's comparable to "and then we had ice cream"? Does this take place in some kind of dystopian, Tyrantlestia-ruled Equestria? The fact that the destruction was not covered up, or even cleaned away for over a decade, suggests that Celestia doesn't even care about a positive public image. Sorry, it's not working. You can't have guards slaughtering ponies in the streets and then pretend that the story still takes place in happy canon Equestria.

The rest of the story kind of works, to the extent that you're trying to set Trixie up with a struggling background. But setting Trixie up with a tragic childhood that requires senseless slaughter is needless, overkill, and just doesn't work. There's been plenty of stories with Trixie having a tragic childhood while remaining within a reasonable framework. Which frankly tends to work better, because readers with similar experiences can sympathize. This is too over the top.

Other points and thoughts:
- Why would Trixie's parents give her a derogatory name? ("Weak Spark"? That's like naming your kid "Dumb Joe" or "Ugly Clara".) Doesn't exactly seem like what a loving parent would do.
- When has the color of your magic ever indicated weakness? (For that matter, Trixie is a professional magic performer and was able to teleport the Cutie Map across town on her first try. Why do people persist in thinking that she's weaker than the average unicorn? Sure, weaker than Twilight, but that's hardly saying anything.)
- Why are all of the Mane 6 in this story? Other than Twilight, they say nothing, do nothing, contribute nothing. Twilight and Starlight have speaking roles, and it makes sense for them to spend time with Trixie (well, Starlight makes sense, and Twilight could reasonably want to come along), but the others have no reason to be there, and distracts because you're expecting them to speak up at least once. (I can't imagine Fluttershy hearing about senseless slaughter and just sit there without showing reaction.) Either have them actually be part of the story, or cut them completely. The Mane Six are not joined at the hips - they don't have to be together all the time.

All things considered, I did not like this story, although I recognize that you tried. But between the inconsistencies, the inappropriately grimdark tragedy, and the fact that the story concept has been done many times before, it does not execute well.

[Creativa-Artly01]

I see where you're coming from. The inspiration for this story was two things: Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash and the tale of Anastasia. It's going to be a little out there because of those inspirations.