Imagine that time passes differently within the dreamworld, add to that the silent watcher Star Swirl commenting just that on the next chapter - and you will get a 'WTF' face from the seven ponies inside him. I hope to render that scene as well as possible.
Just out of curiosity... what was it that you found heavy within the chapter?
Then there is: is my characterization close to canon for the MLP characters? I usually dislike evil or incompetent princesses in canon and stories, so I'm aiming for a competent, yet less fallible leaders than the norm. I hope to make them relatable in that regard.
Well, anyways - nice to have you around here, and I hope that the next chapter is better than this one.
8502297 Ashley's beginnings and the fact that the ponies we're not only taken through that emotional rollercoaster, but that they had to face the cold truth that: They fucked up.
There were a few grammatical hiccups here and there, words seemed out of place. I'm looking forward to what happens next.
8541153 You are correct. That term slipped through my mind, and is now properly corrected.
Thank you for your attention to detail, to improve my work in an adequate fashion.
PS: Just as a recommendation, I suggest you copy part of the sentence that holds any offending term to allow for an easier search of the corrections you wish to inform us, the writers.
I and other authors will sincerely be grateful, as small details like that might pass over our heads during editing procedures, and can be lost in the volume of the writing beind done.
It's probably exacerbated by my exposure/education. It doesn't help that the source material doesn't exactly get it right either. Not to mention Applejack's dialect in the show...
8620364 They at least got the sound mostly right, even if they keep mucking up the actual words. It reached the point a few times where I actually had to pause the episode to facepalm and get over it.
Awesome chapter man
8500680
Wow, thanks for the compliment, man.
Just asking, though... what have you liked the best about this story so far?
8500721
To me them going through his past and that he ten thousand years old like I could picture their faces
8500728
Oh let me not forget the ending when they all side Lea monde
8500728
Lol.
Imagine that time passes differently within the dreamworld, add to that the silent watcher Star Swirl commenting just that on the next chapter - and you will get a 'WTF' face from the seven ponies inside him. I hope to render that scene as well as possible.
8500733
Thank u for the peak my friend if it is
8500752
And good luck and can't wait for more
Ooh boy this is heavy...MOAR
8502225
Heh, thanks for the compliment.
Just out of curiosity... what was it that you found heavy within the chapter?
Then there is: is my characterization close to canon for the MLP characters? I usually dislike evil or incompetent princesses in canon and stories, so I'm aiming for a competent, yet less fallible leaders than the norm. I hope to make them relatable in that regard.
Well, anyways - nice to have you around here, and I hope that the next chapter is better than this one.
Have a nice day!
8502297
Ashley's beginnings and the fact that the ponies we're not only taken through that emotional rollercoaster, but that they had to face the cold truth that: They fucked up.
There were a few grammatical hiccups here and there, words seemed out of place. I'm looking forward to what happens next.
8502591
I have to admit - this chapter was one of the hardest ones to write up to now, and its issues show up.
I hope to eventually have this chapter edited to iron out the defficiencies to improve its quality.
Thanks for replying.
8502600
Anytime, on a different note, you haven't been experiencing earthquakes for any reason?
8502641
Well, to be honest they do happen every how and then - but nothing as serious as what happened at Mexico.
But lately? I haven't noticed.
8502734
Oh good. And yeah, what happened here in Mexico was nuts.
You misspelled "astray"
8541111
Sorry to disappoint you, but the usage for the term is correct.
From Cambridge Dictionary:
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/learner-english/astray
astray
adverb us uk /əˈstreɪ/
go astray
to get lost or go in the wrong direction:
One of my bags went astray at the airport.
lead sb astray
to encourage someone to do bad things that they should not do:
He was led astray by his friends.
I hope this answers your critique, and thank you for your commentary.
8541135
I said "misspelled". You put "ashtray" the thing that holds cigarette ash.
8541026
for that one you put "specie"
Edit: That's dumb. Why is "specie" even a word?
8541151
You are correct.
Sorry for the misunderstanding, and thank you for your patience in replying to my comment.
It will be edited out now.
Edit: Ashtray replaced with astray
8541153
You are correct. That term slipped through my mind, and is now properly corrected.
Thank you for your attention to detail, to improve my work in an adequate fashion.
PS: Just as a recommendation, I suggest you copy part of the sentence that holds any offending term to allow for an easier search of the corrections you wish to inform us, the writers.
I and other authors will sincerely be grateful, as small details like that might pass over our heads during editing procedures, and can be lost in the volume of the writing beind done.
update, I'm dying to see what continues
8571772
The update shall take forever! Mwahahahahaha!
8586182
Or at least until I can focus on it, instead of flashback troubles and real life issues that require plenty of attention now. T_T
8620050
*speech
It's probably exacerbated by my exposure/education. It doesn't help that the source material doesn't exactly get it right either. Not to mention Applejack's dialect in the show...
8620171
Thanks for the correction, and yeah... you mean the whole 'I'mma Southerner' dialect? Yeah, that one's lulzy.
8620364
They at least got the sound mostly right, even if they keep mucking up the actual words. It reached the point a few times where I actually had to pause the episode to facepalm and get over it.
Finished