Deep within one of the far corners of the known universe, a lone planet drifted in its orbit, an oppressive, sinister atmosphere blanketing its surface. Throughout Starfleet's worlds, this was known to all who heard of it as the planet Eris.
Wherever one walked, shapes like twisting, agonized faces were visible in the clouds, and the winds emitted a beastly howl with every change of direction. In addition, natural disasters were a constant threat: while minor earthquakes tore at the seams of one area, ruthless tornadoes ravaged the surface of another. Even those places of relative safety were inhospitable, barren wastes littered with the remains of those spacefarers unfortunate enough to have been caught by the planet's gravitational pull in ages long past.
It was a state of constant horror and disarray, which made the next event that much more of a disaster.
A powerful eruption shook one of the few dormant volcanoes, molten lava painting the area around it bright crimson with a black ash surrounding it. From the depths of the resultant crater rose a powerful, terrifying figure, his silhouette barely resembling that of a human. A cloak of dark purple shrouded him, with the ends of his sleeves and the hem of his robe covered in a nightly black. The armor covering his shoulders jutted with spikes, its ebony sheen glowing a brilliant red from the molten lava surrounding it, and jewels with the same hue as his cloak adorned it. All of this was topped by his eyes, a red as dark as blood, which stared menacingly down upon the world he emerged from.
Indeed, it was the very sorcerer that had threatened the universe long ago: Nadir.
Taking a moment to stretch his limbs out, he surveyed his surroundings with a look of boredom. "So, this is the world that fool of a king banished me to, is it?" he said without breaking his composure. He glanced upward and, noticing the wavering, weakening barrier of golden magic surrounding him, chuckled. "That weakling really thought he could seal me here... Well, it would seem good things aren't meant to last. I'll finally have what's mine."
Without hesitation, he shot a blast of pure, concentrated darkness at the field. What little magic was left then exploded in a shower of golden sparks, its particles dissipating into nothing. "At last, my plan shall come to fruition!" A malicious smile split his face. "But first... I shall plant the seeds of my empire for later." As he spoke, he placed his hand on the ground and sent a small burst of his magic down into the core.
Lastly, a swirling purple cloud surrounded him as he arose from his former prison, eager to resume his dark designs. "Now... I believe it is time to catch up on some unfinished business." As he flew towards his destination, a maniacal laugh filled even the empty void of space, making his presence known throughout.
"And this time - this time - no one will stand in my way!"
It was midday in Neo-Equestria as Lightning and Crystal finally touched down at Diamond Village, named so because of its quaint beauty and clear view of Rainbow City close to the north. The two were shown to their house, which consisted of a white-walled, two-story building with brown roof shingles and a single black chimney coming out of the side. As they went in, however, they saw it was still a bit of a mess: the furniture and appliances they needed were in place, but the paint had just finished drying - as made apparent by the paint drops that lined parts of the floor - and dust lay thick on almost every surface.
"I guess the workers had to leave before they could get somepony to clean up, huh?" Crystal saud as she found a relatively-clean spot to place the duo's bags.
Lightning stretched. "I'll say," he said, glancing around the room. "Hey, I think we have enough time before running our errands. Wanna do a little cleanup duty and unpack before we head out?" he asked with an eager smile. "That ride on the chariot left me anxious to do something."
Crystal sighed in disbelief. "Lightning, that was a ten minute descent! It shouldn't have been that long of a wait."
"Easy for you to say! At least you can fly anywhere you want." He grabbed a nearby broom that was laying against the wall. "Come on, let's see how long this takes us!"
Crystal smiled back at him. "You know... I'd be lying if I said I didn't wanna stretch my wings out a bit."
Lightning gave a determined nod and took his position. "Alright, let's tidy this place up!"
The two got into gear and started cleaning the house, beginning with the entrance room and separating from there; Lightning took the bottom floor, while Crystal flew up to the top. As they scoured the house, they cleaned up most of the dust and washed away whatever stray paint drops they could find. Unlike most unicorns who would use magic almost reflexively for such a task, Lighting did his part of the work with his hands instead of using any magic of his own.
After checking throughout their areas a few more times to make sure they had cleaned everywhere, they unpacked their belongings.
Their room was on the top floor, with a semi-room for Crystal right next to Lightning's bed. Said room was a rather plain medium-sized cardboard box, but it had all the essentials in it, including her bed, a drawer, and enough space for her to comfortably stretch out.
"I guess we'd better give the builders a tip for the extra detail, huh?" Crystal said as she finished her packing.
Lighting finished soon after. "I'll say," he said, inspecting her room. "It's a good thing the workers were notified in advance that a fairy would be one of the new residents! I'll have to thank Grand Ruler sometime."
"It's definitely nice to have him as a legal guardian, that's for sure." She flew out of her room and perched atop Lightning's head. "Alright, let's see who we need to talk to! You got the list, right?"
"Yep!" Lightning said as he took a sheet of paper out of his pocket and read through the instructions. "Apparently, we have to see the local gardener about a new flower he was working on. And according to this, he's a fellow Starfleet trainee! Didn't think you could hold a secondary job while you were in Starfleet, but whatever."
"Well, it only makes sense, right?" Crystal perked up. "If you managed to find your special talent before wanting to join, you'd have to make just as much time for your passion as you do your duty to Starfleet. It's only fair."
"I guess that makes sense, though I'm still a little confused," Lightning said. He shook his head and started walking downstairs in search of the garden. "Oh well. Let's get a move on!"
They made their way towards the entrance of Rainbow City. A small, red building stood in front of it, beside which was a garden teeming with a wide variety of plants from several of the planets that Neo-Equestria had assisted. There were all different shapes and sizes, and some were even carniverous - perfect for any pesky bugs that got near them. Lightning and Crystal ventured through the garden, searching for whomever was in charge of it, when they came across a big, beautiful yellow-and-orange flower.
"Oh my!" Crystal said, eying the flower. "I've never seen anything so beautiful! It must be incredibly rare, for it to look like that!" She inched closer to the flower, and then reached out to touch it. All of a sudden, it burst into flame and disintegrated into a fine ash.
She floated there, stunned for a moment, before quietly saying, "Uh... What the heck just happened?"
Lightning panicked slightly. "It's okay! No biggie, um... If we can just calmly explain this to the gardener..."
"What is there to calmly explain, Lightning Dawn?! A flower just burst into flame! I can't live my life knowing I had something to do with that!"
"Something to do with what?" The two froze at the sound of a deep voice. Behind them stood a relatively tall, well-built, ruby-red earth pony with a dark green vest and light brown work pants. He had a small horn on his head, wings about Lightning's size, and his cutie mark, a flower pot with a rose in it, was engraved on his shirt. He stood there, patiently waiting, his arms folded as he looked at his guests.
"So..." Lightning looked down, slightly nervous. "You must be the guy who looks after all these?"
"I heard a bit of commotion, that's all. Did something happen to one of my plants?" He noticed the burned pile of particles that used to be his flower. "Ah..."
Crystal flew up and bowed her head. "Please, forgive me; I just wanted to look at it, then it just exploded! If it had something to do with me, I'm willing to take the full blame for it!"
"It was partly my fault, too!" Lightning ran to Crystal's side. "See, we came here to look for you, and I didn't even think about waiting! And I should have made sure she didn't get too close to the flower; I didn't even know that would happen!"
For a little bit, the pony looked at the two. Then, he let out a soft chuckle, followed by a bellowing laugh. Lightning and Crystal looked confused; hadn't they just been responsible for the death of one of his rare flowers? Had he gone mad from grief?
"Oh my... Is that what you were worried about?" the pony said as he recovered from his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. "If it's that particular species, then I'm not worried one bit!"
Now they were just dumbfounded. "Wait... What?" Lightning looked at the pony in disbelief. They were pointed in the direction of the ashes, which already had a brand new bud growing from them.
"I... I don't believe it! It's growing again?" Crystal could only look from a distance so as to not make it spontaneously combust again.
"Of course it's growing again," said the gardener. "That's a phoenix flower from the planet Ignis; they're what give the place its scorching hot atmosphere. When they reach the end of their life cycle, instead of decaying, they simply burn up and regrow in their own ashes."
Crystal looked slightly confused. "Um... Wait, so it didn't explode because of me?"
"Not even close! In fact, I'd be more worried about what would have happened to you." He took another good look at the fairy. "You're lucky you didn't get any first-degree burns; if that happened, I'd probably be a little less cheery."
The duo sighed with relief. "Well, I'm just glad nothing too serious happened..." Lightning wiped a cold sweat from his brow. "So yeah, we came here to look for you; this list mentions you're a fellow Starfleet trainee, is that right?"
"Ah, so you're the pony I was told to expect here!" The pony extended his hand to Lightning. "I forgot to introduce myself; the name's Garter Variety, future Starfleet officer and local gardener."
Lightning shook Garter's hand and smiled. "Lightning Dawn! It's a pleasure to meet you! And this is Crystal."
"You definitely look like you'd get picked for the job, in no time!" Crystal regained her usual confidence. "I mean, even a hydra would run with its tail between its legs just by looking at you!"
"You think so?" He gave off another chuckle. "I mean, I seriously doubt a hydra would give me the kind of reaction you gave off."
The two gave a bit of a sheepish look and glanced to the side. "Yeah... Talk about first impressions, huh?" Crystal let out an embarrassed laugh. "Anyway, guess I'll see you around? We gotta find the rest of the ponies on this list."
"Yeah," said Lightning. "It's been a pleasure to meet you! Can't wait to train together!"
"Hang on." Garter stopped them before they could leave. "Lemme see that list, for a sec."
"Um... Sure, what for?" Crystal gave him the list, watching as he observed it carefully.
"Uh-huh... Yep, just as I figured. About half the ponies on this list happen to be Starfleet officers in training." Garter tucked the list into his pocket. "And as luck would have it, all these guys happen to be my friends! Most of them like to go to the Sweet N' Sleep inn in Rainbow City Central. That's our favorite place to hang out at this time."
"So wait, you're saying you can lead us there?" Lightning said, to be sure.
"Well... That's kinda only half of it." Garter rubbed his neck a bit, then pointed to a few boxes. "See, I also need a couple extra hands delivering those crates of vegetables to one of the chefs there: Caesar Salad. He's been running low, and I thought this would help. You wouldn't mind, would you?"
Crystal perked up at the sound of that, and started carrying a crate above her head. "Well, a Starfleet officer's duty is to help those in need of assistance, right?"
"Yep. Which is why I'm more than willing to help!" Lightning walked to the crates and picked up another.
"Thanks a ton, Lightning. You're doing me quite the favor." Garter smiled as he got the third one. "Now, let's get these to the inn." The three finally set off with their crates in tow.
The trip took them about twenty minutes; that's ten to make it to the city, and ten to make it through the bustling crowds to their location. Rainbow City, being the capitol of the entirety of Neo-Equestria, was no stranger to such crowds; many ponies, dragons, griffons, changelings, and other different races tended to gather here from across the planet, and even races from across other parts of the universe would often come here. Being the location of Starfleet's central facilities probably had something to do with it. Rainbow Central, the location of the Sweet N' Sleep inn, was even more hectic by comparison. About the biggest help there was the weather vane in the center with each of the compass directions surrounding it.
Lightning was a little overwhelmed by all the hustle and bustle, while still carrying his crate. "Geez... Can this city get a little less crowded?"
"You think it's crowded now?" Garter joked. "Wait until somepony has an important meeting with either Starfleet or the Grand Ruler. Then we can talk about crowded."
"I think I'll take your word for it." Lightning looked around for where they were supposed to go. "So where is this inn, anyway? I'd have an easier time knowing what it looked like from the outside."
"Everypony gets a little bit confused on their first time through the city. But once you know where to go, everything becomes a whole lot easier." Garter went to the southeast section of the vane and pointed to the gray-bricked section of building across from it. "You see that? That's the Sweet N' Sleep. The foundation isn't much, but its atmosphere is why we like to come here. That, and the food is good."
"Is this Caesar Salad really all that?" As she spoke, Crystal could feel her stomach growling. "Eh... No better time than the present to find out, right?"
Lightning clutched his eager stomach as well. "I guess we really should have gotten something to eat, first..."
The three headed right on inside; what appeared to be one section of wall with a door opened up to a nice, quaint little joint with dim lighting, with a decent selection of tables for its size and a varied selection of music, of which a small 20's style jazz rhythm was currently playing. There wasn't really any theme to it; for the most part, what you see is what you get. It truly was the definition of an underrated gem.
Crystal admired the place. "Wow... You'd normally expect a pony known for his cooking expertise to open a five-star restaurant, or something. This just seems like a local hub. Not gonna lie, I kinda like it!"
"I'll say; after all the crowds outside, it's just nice to be able to relax for once." Lightning stretched his limbs freely again. "So, where's this Caesar Salad character?"
As if on cue, out came a slightly aged, sky-blue earth pony with a chef's outfit and his own cutie mark, a frying pan, etched into it. He eagerly came out to greet the group. "Ah, Garter, my boy! Good to see you could finally make it, ah?"
"Hey, Caesar! Always glad to be here," Garter said from behind his crate.
"And I see you brought company over! What's the occasion?"
"Right; I should probably introduce them. These are Lightning Dawn and Crystal, fellow Starfleet trainees." They waved for a bit before Garter continued. "I just wanted to introduce them to the others. They're in the usual spot, right?"
"Ah, but of course! Just put these vegetables down in the kitchen, and we'll get you all set up!" Caesar led them to the kitchen, which had quite a few talented chefs hard at work and making a wide variety of tasty meals. Just walking through the doors was enough to make Lightning and Crystal's mouths water.
"Now that is a scent to remember!" A happy Crystal said as Caesar led her to the counter to put her crate down, followed by Lightning and Garter. "Do all deliveries go here?"
"Now, what kind of question is that? Of course the deliveries go into the kitchen, do they not?" Caesar opened up the crates, little by little, and started to get the veggies ready. "I see you have already taken a liking to the food?"
"Yeah!" Lightning said. "I already can't wait to take my order!"
"In that case, let's hurry on over to the table so we can take our orders," Garter said to the two. "We can admire the food when we're about to eat it."
"He is right," Caesar said with a jolly disposition. "It would be a waste to have your first night here consist of standing around and doing nothing. Now go and meet your little band, Lightning!"
"Thanks, Caesar!" Lightning excitedly followed Garter to the table, with Crystal trailing behind them. They soon made it to the table, where three ponies already awaited them.
An orange pegasus with a blonde mane, wearing a navy-blue shirt with a paint set sewn on it, and matching black pants, waved to the group. He spoke in a thin southern accent. "Heya, Garter! Glad to see you could finally make it!"
"Sorry for the wait; we had a bit of an errand to run." Garter motioned to his new friends yet again. "Everypony, meet Lightning Dawn and Crystal. They're fellow Starfleet trainees, and they just moved in. They helped me with the delivery this time around, too."
"It's really nice to meet you all!" Lightning waved at the group, with Crystal doing the same.
"Hey, the feeling's mutual!" said another pegasus. This one was indigo with a lavender mane, black pants, and a thin, gray long-sleeved shirt with a constellation on it. "Any new recruit is always welcome around here."
"Go on and sit down, I guess." The third pony sitting down turned her head, but still looked at them. She was a unicorn, bright yellow with a dark-brown mane, wearing a green-and-orange striped shirt, tan shorts, and a black jacket with a written paper and pen on it.
Lightning sat on down, next to the indigo pony. Crystal soon followed, perching on the table next to her friend. "So, now that you know our names already, what're your names?"
The indigo pony spoke first. "It's Astra; Astra Physics! Wow, the more we talk, the more I feel like I'm getting to know you better!"
The orange one was next. "The name's Colin Canvas, pard. I'm hopin' we can get along just fine. Maybe I could invite ya to Golden Acres, sometime."
And lastly, the yellow pony. "Percy Prose. I'd prefer it if you just called me Percy, of course."
"Right..." Crystal managed to get herself comfortable. "Anyway, I'm glad we finally get to meet some fellow fighters! And you look like you already have your own callings in life aside from that. I mean, your cutie marks are all on your clothes."
"Obviously; we can't exactly show our flanks in public," Percy spoke with a dry wit to her. "But if you insist, I prefer to do stage productions most of the time."
"My favorite thing to do aside from trainin' is paintin'," Colin started to ramble a little. "I mean, it's kinda out there fer a fighter pony, sure, but lookit Garter over there; he's the strongest-lookin' of the entire group, and his main hobby is somethin' perceived as a girl's thing." This, in turn, caused Garter to roll his eyes, slightly.
"Thank you, Colin, for reiterating that. I'm sure nopony picked up on that already." Percy looked at Colin with a duller expression than normal as she said this.
"And what about you?" Lightning looked to Astra. "I'm guessing stargazing's your thing?"
"Actually, just astronomy in general," Astra said with eagerness in her voice. "I've always wanted to travel beyond the stars and check out different planets; it's like every science fiction fan's biggest desire! I mean, seriously!" She caught herself and stopped her gushing before looking back to Lightning. "So, why did you choose join Starfleet, anyway?"
"Simple," exclaimed Lightning. "I wanna get stronger and help anypony in need, just like I did when I met Crystal."
"Wait, you met by helping your buddy?" Garter and the others looked curious, now.
"Of course!" Crystal flew up in a glitter of positive energy. "All the way back in Amethyst Bog!"
"You two were that place?!" Colin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And ya both survived?!"
"That's, like, the place where you'd find monsters of all shapes and sizes!" Astra added.
"Now, you've gotten me a little curious." Percy eyed the two, as did everypony else.
"Well, I guess we gotta tell them now..." Crystal giggled. The two began to recount their story, starting with how they first woke up...
Time passed, and as the group ate their meal, Lightning and Crystal had recapped just about all that had happened to them. They recounted their bout with the cragadile, Lightning's strange golden power, and their being taken in by the Grand Ruler. They talked for so long, going on about the training they received, that by the time they finished, they were already heading out the front door.
"It was nice to meet you, Caesar Salad!" Lightning and the others said their temporary goodbyes to their chef friend.
"Hey, no problem at all! It's always a pleasure having another favorite customer!" Caesar smiled wide at the group. "Have fun, you six!"
The group waved goodbye as they started to walk southwest. Astra was the first to break the silence. "So, the Grand Ruler was the one who raised you? I gotta admit, I'm actually a little jealous!"
"We've all had our own share of his teachings," Garter mused. "And yet, to be personally raised by him... That's actually quite a big deal."
Lightning blushed a little bit. "Oh, come on; he just took me in like anypony would have. Just because he's all godlike and everything doesn't mean he can't take a pony under his wing, right?"
"There's one thing that's been bothering me," said Astra, "and that's your horn. It's got that golden look to it, kinda like the Grand Ruler himself."
"I've actually been meaning to ask about that." Garter took a closer look at it. "It definitely doesn't look normal..."
Lightning looked a little confused. "Why do you say that? I'm sure there are other unicorns with golden horns; I mean, look at Percy!"
"Yellow horn," Percy commented. "Mine is a brighter yellow. Yours is a thinner, dimmer shade associated with gold. And besides, a horn that's a different color from your fur isn't exactly natural."
"That's not the only thing that bothers me..." Astra continued to examine it. "It's the same color as that of the Grand Ruler, but far from the same composition. It's definitely made from the usual mixture of keratin and magic, that's for sure."
Colin started pondering a theory of his own. "Maybe the Grand Ruler had a thing with a very special pony an' kept it a secret? Then somethin' happened to make 'em both forget their family lives! I mean, the coats are similar too, y'know!"
"That theory is about as half-baked as the other two dozen you came up with this week," Percy snarked.
"Aww c'mon, Percy, ya liked the idea of that schoolfilly bein' Gaia the whole time," Colin teased, causing her to look away in slight embarrassment. "Heck, the comics even confirmed it to be canon."
"I like Adolescent Avengers as much as the next guy," Garter intervened, "but can we stay on the subject of Lightning's origin?"
"Regardless," Astra stated, "no matter what our situation is, there's always an answer at the Onyx Eagle library! I just know Aunt Ingrid will have a book on this subject; there are books on just about anything we've picked up from other planets!"
"Wait, Ingrid?" Lightning stopped her. "That sounds an awful lot like..."
"Ingrid Tuition? You know of her?"
"Know of her?" Lightning stated gushing. "She's the strategist of Team Trifecta! How could I not know of her?"
Astra smiled with a soft blush. "Well, I mean, I don't think it's that big of a deal..."
"She's a big deal, alright! She survived the planet Barbaria while nearly beaten and with her wings broke!"
Crystal flew up to join in. "Nopony could forget a team like that, let alone a pony of her stature!"
"Wow... You two are just as big of fans of my aunt as I am!" Astra couldn't help but squee. "We have got to hang out a lot more often!"
"Looks like the whole gang is already getting along, perfectly. "Garter looked towards the bunch, then in front of him. "Well, we're finally here; take a good look, you two."
Before the group proudly stood a giant statue in the shape of an eagle about to take flight, adorned with a thick, black shine, the insides of its wings glittering bright red as the sun shone upon it. Lightning and Crystal saw it from the Celestial Palace several times, but from above it was about the size of a pill bug, compared to the thirty-foot tall monument in front of them.
Oh, and there were doors and windows. That was also pretty important.
Astra nudged the speechless unicorn and fairy. "Stop standing there with your mouths gaping open, and let's go! There's gotta be something for us to look at!"
Lightning and Crystal shook their heads and nodded. "Right," said the former. "Let's get on that!"
As soon as they went in, they were surrounded by walls lined with rows upon rows of books upon their thick, wooden shelves, all within walls of star sapphire that decorated the otherwise hollow interior. Lightning and Crystal were even more amazed than before, while the others were pretty much used to the sight already.
As they walked further, a light brown, older-looking pegasus with a brown mane, black-rimmed glasses, and a beige shirt and pants, a book etched into the former, flew up to them. "Why, hello everypony! It's a pleasure to see you again."
Astra ran up and hugged her beloved aunt. "It's always good to be here, Aunt Ingrid. I have some friends I want you to meet!"
Ingrid smiled and chuckled a little bit. "I can see that; the young unicorn pony and the fairy, correct?"
Lightning ran up with excitement. "The name's Lightning Dawn! It's a pleasure to meet you, sir! I mean, ma'am! I mean, miss! I mean... Oh wow, meeting a famous pony is even tougher than I thought."
Crystal flew towards Ingrid, as well. "My name's Crystal; Lightning and I are huge fans of your team!"
Astra couldn't help but jump for joy. "Ooh, tell them the story about how you, Hocus Pocus, and Equal Librium took down the Goblin King!"
Ingrid felt a little overwhelmed. "I can tell you that story when I'm off duty, really... So, what can I do for you today?"
"We're here to check up on any history books detailing ponies with golden horns." Garter finally chimed right in. "Nopony asides the Grand Ruler himself has one of this sheen, and absolutely nopony we knew before now even had one that wasn't actually comprised of gold."
"A golden horn... You're right; except for our leader himself, absolutely nopony has that sort of phenomenon as a part of them." Ingrid continued to think about the situation. "Throughout the stars, there have not been any stories of ponies being born with any color of horn that isn't their natural fur."
"Told you," Percy looked to Lightning.
"Then I guess ya can't be of much help, huh?" Colin looked down, a bit disappointed, before Ingrid began to perk back up again.
"Although! Maybe the answer isn't in any books, but rather... Hmm... Excuse me for a bit!" She rushed on over to the phone and made a quick call while the others waited.
"... Hello, Hocus? It's Ingrid. ... Yeah, I kinda need you over here, pronto. ... Wait, what? ... Oh, of course you should bring Equal! Everypony's going to need to be involved in this. ... Very well; we'll all meet in the staff lounge. ... Okay. I love you too. ... Bye." After hanging up, she looked to the others. "If you would, please follow me. My teammates should be joining us, shortly."
Lightning could feel his palms getting slightly sweaty at the thought of this. "I... I'm really going to meet the entire ace team! I can't believe it!"
"Neither can I!" said Crystal. "But, uh... Let's just try and keep our composure, this time; we've done enough gushing for one day. Any more, and I feel like the windows could shatter from our squeeing."
Lightning softly laughed as they headed inside the room.
The area was colored similarly, but with a nice, smooth, oval-shaped mahogany table with plenty of chairs to go around. The walls, once again, were covered with a thick, wooden bookshelf lined with... Well, take a guess.
As they began to take their seats, suddenly a magical wind surrounded them; Lightning and Crystal wondered what was going on, while the others were just about used to this. Before them, the wind gathered near the entrance to the room, a tremendous explosion of smoke occurred where it all converged. Before them stood a proud, purple unicorn with his black and red cape and silver mane and tail flowing in the breeze. He turned around and revealed his armor, with a black and white magic wand engraved on it.
"To those that require the assistance of Hocus Pocus, the greatest magician in all the land..." From beneath his cape, he pulled out his magician's hat and, with a flick of the wrist, placed it atop his head. "What you are about to see is a stallion of wonder, amazement, and true justice! I, the leader of Team Trifecta, ace team of the prior decade, shall give you all the greatest show you've ever seen in your--"
"Ahem..." Ingrid interrupted. "We're not actually doing a show, today."
The unicorn frowned pretty heavily. "Darn it, and I worked all day on that..."
A tall, green, slightly scrawny earth pony with a brown mane and a white lab coat with a beaker sewn on it, emerged from behind Hocus. "I don't think you need a dramatic entrance for such an occasion, anyway. But regardless of the case, it's always good to see you all here, again."
Astra quickly went up and gave both of the stallions hugs. "Hi, Equal, and Uncle Hocus! I missed you the past couple weeks!"
"Well, you know," Equal smiled, "it's always busy down at my lab in Emerald Fields. Who knows what the other ponies could possibly require that none of them have?"
Hocus also let out a warm smile. "I haven't been able to clear up my schedule; so many ponies wish to see my magic shows, it's quite a miracle I have any time to begin with. I'm just glad to see my favorite little niece again." Astra giggled as her uncle said this.
"This goes for the rest of you, in tandem." Equal stood back up and walked to the bunch. "It's always a pleasure to see all my favorite students. And it appears we have a newcomer in our midst!"
"Lightning Dawn, sir! It's a real honor to meet you. This is my best friend, Crystal."
Crystal could barely keep her composure. "I'm honored, really!"
"I assure you, you'll be seeing us around, plenty." Equal went back to the others. "So, what appears to be the situation?"
Ingrid decided to inform her teammates. "Lightning's horn, I'm sure you've noticed, is a golden hue compared to the rest of his body. I was hoping the three of us could figure out why that is?"
"A golden horn, huh..." Hocus looked at the horn a bit. "Definitely not a normal occurrence. But we'll try to come up with an answer for that."
Equal started to examine Lightning's horn. "Yyyyep, just the usual composition; absolutely nothing like the Grand Ruler's horn in any way."
"It's certainly unlike anything we've seen thus far." Ingrid mused, slightly. "Nothing like this was ever documented in any of the books I've read..."
Hocus thought for a bit, then took another, closer look at Lightning's head, trying to find something... Suddenly, however, he became startled as he looked to the side. "What? Now?!"
"What's the matter, Hocus?" Lightning asked.
"Oh no..." Ingrid had a grim look on her face. "Did you sense something?"
"A high level of powerful magic... Everypony, be on your guard! Ingrid, Equal, let's hurry!"
"But what about us?" Crystal said, worried.
Equal had a serious look on his face as he gazed at the group. "It would be wise to stay put until the coast is clear... I don't know if your training can quite handle this, if it's enough to make Hocus get serious for even a minute."
"Just be safe, okay you three?" Astra ran up and gave her heroes another hug.
Ingrid instinctively comforted her niece. "We'll be fine, honey; really. This'll blow over before you know it."
Suddenly, they heard a crashing sound at the library, followed by a tremor shaking the ground where they all stood. With no more time to waste, the three members of Team Trifecta hurried on over to the scene. The others decided to take a peek to check out what was going on.
Outside, the sky had turned dark with an ominous thick cloud, blocking the sunlight as it came. Several ponies started to run for cover after the tremor had started, hiding behind bookshelves and under tables as they looked at the bleak sky above them. As Starfleet's fighters stood their ground, the doors swung open and a purple cloud of fog rolled right in. In front of them appeared a familiar figure, and one that struck fear into the hearts of the weak-hearted. The trio was left in surprise, while the recruits could only watch with anticipation and horror...
"No... It can't be..." Lightning remembered his ancient texts once again, recalling the very sorcerer that threatened to come back all that time ago.
The hooded figure looked down towards his to-be opponents, cackling maniacally as he did... "I - Nadir - have finally returned." His eyes glowed blood-red...
"And I have come back for what is mine..."
To be continued...
Well, everyone is certainly more likeable here, except maybe Percy (don't get me wrong, she's still a lot more likeable than Rhymey, but that doesn't stop her coming off as a bit aloof; I'm guessing that she's going to be the main sidekick going forward). I also like the idea of a mentor trio of older fighters who (again, guessing) are going to be a more regular presence than the Grand Ruler so as to save him up for special occassions.
While I can see why Lightning has a list of his fellow trainees, I still wasn't entirely sold on the idea since one of the parts of the original that I had the most problem with was the Grand Ruler choosing Lightning's friends for him rather than letting him make them himself. Still, you mostly made it work.
Looking forward to whatever comes next.
8338908
On the subject of Percy, I intentionally had her like that. It's admittedly somewhat hard to get to like a character of this type early on before development settles in, and I prepared for that a little bit. Heck, most characters like that don't get to show their real likability until the later parts. I do plan on making that more readily apparent as the chapters go on, however.
Also, all the team members are going to be of equal importance; there won't be a main sidekick, rather just a team of late teens with different abilities, advantages, and weaknesses.
And I'll be honest, I just kind of remembered Celestia's method of getting Twilight to meet her friends was kinda the same way. I really don't know how to fix it now that it's already a part of the story. In fairness, I do have an idea on how to make up for this.
In any case, I'll wait for the proofreading to begin so I can see what can be done to fix my storytelling.
8339368
People like you (Low-lives/mockers of the net) seem to attract me like metal to a magnet.
I give you this one warning: don't push your luck, it won't give you a good image either
8339379
You know, threatening me online isn't going to make you look anymore professional than you've made yourself out to be. If you want to have a civil conversation, then send me a pm. I don't want this comment section cluttered with needless garbage from both our ends.
I didn't know Caesar could be so repetitive.
I must admit to being confused. Are some of the ponies not, ahem, alicorns? Are they all anthropomorphic?
8339403
D'oh! Excuse me, lemme fix that. Also, they're all alicorns in the traditional sense, but they all have the physiology of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi respectively.
8339409
I still have confusion. I need fan art.
8339443
I officially need a volunteer. I'm not an artist. >_<
OH, and this is where the rest of the team starts to come in!!!
So, lets meet the troops!
But, first some words about the opening. I love the description of both Titan and the world. Eris, while making me think of Voltron and Discord, also makes me think of Apocolyapse from DC.
And now for the team.
Hey buddy! Ok, so he has a lot of potiential and I like that he is peppy and very friendly. My question is, for him, is his daughter/cousin going to show up because I am curious as to how Daphine will be tackled if she exsists.
The man, the myth, the legend. This is our Artie expy and he seems fine, never expected him to be southern.
Hey Starla, how's it hanging. She seems rather...Pinkieish and I kind of like it. She is
Rhymey, is a mare...Rhymey is a...he's a...HAHAHA!!!!
Hmmm, interesting that you made this two girls to a team. I kind of like it and its very sentai like. And don't worry about too much fluff, little things like that help the world feel that much bigger and some of the characters unique.
Also interesting is that it's Astra's aunt that is what inspired her. I also love the idea that there is a trio of heroes before them. It kinds gives an idea of legacy and I hope to see it followed up later.
8339616
Glad to see you like the characters, so far! I based Artie/Colin on the fact that he's from the Unicornicopian version of Sweet Apple Acres in the original. As for the others, I'm happy that they at least left a good impression.
Also, Daphne Dil will be a thing, and she will also be renamed.
8339379 Nothing here is against site rules or any US laws that I've ever heard of. Your threat has absolutely no weight behind it whatsoever.
8339712
*high-fives*
8339712
Or any Canadian laws, I am certain.
8339712
It wasn't a threat...
8339774
It just appeared that way. That's all. I apologize for any misunderstandings.
8339778
Too late, what's done is done...
8339781
Yeah, yeah, one wrong and they're forever bad; forgiveness is a weakness; etc.
8339778
You notice he's edited his original comment?
8339789
It said "Don't push your luck" even BEFORE I edited it... I just added the part next to it...
8339794
I know.
...Say, are Percy Prose and Fluttershy going to be an item?
8339774
Without your edit adding the bit about it giving him a bad image, it certainly reads like a threat. Like, "keep doing this and I'll report you and have your story revoked/your account banned from the site." I don't like seeing people get bullied into submission like that, so I clarified the situation.
It can be difficult to read intent and tone through text alone; replacing facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language with a picture of a gay purple horse tends to put a damper on actual understanding. I apologize for any such misunderstanding here, and I am grateful you amended your original comment to clarify your intended message.
8339723
8339798
No, they're not. I already have shipping ideas in mind for Percy.
8339899
Whatever! Nothing has changed, people continue to mock me and worse... (I don't trust you, you've sided with and supported my mockers too many times and let them go free)
This is not a threat, and don't bother replying... I know what you're going to say, and I'm not interested.
8339379
Says the person who's wasted time and effort on making fics mocking a show he doesn't even like.
You know what this makes me think of? And I mean this sincerely with all of my heart, it makes me think of some really good alternate universe fics I have read before. Like the Lunaverse, Manehattenverse, and the like. We even have a unique way to introduce the team, giving it a chance to show off it's unique depth.
8340396
Wow. That's actually very insightful! Thanks! I'm happy to know it's already bringing to mind those works.
So. As it turns out, Titan's the name of Celestia's father in "The Immortal Game", which I have not yet read. I'm gonna ask all of you whether or not he should be renamed. Because I feel like he should keep his name for my own reasons, but the overall decision is up to you all.
8341536
First off, you should read the immortal game soon, it's one of my favorites and a big inspiration for my own fic.
Second, I really think it's all up to you. One of my big problems with titan is that hearing the name makes me think of IG so much. I would almost rather go wiht Cosmos or Seraph
8345092
Cosmos actually seems a bit simple. And Seraph sounds a bit too heavenly for an evil sorcerer. How about... I dunno, something darkness related? I do LIKE the word "Seraph", so I might use it for something else.
Okay, I've got the perfect name for Titan! Once my charger comes back, I'll be sure to make the appropriate adjustments.
Thanks to Legendbringer for approving of this one.
This...is amazing. You've actually managed to make the world more believable, the characters less Sueish, and the entire concept of Starfleet Magic all around more tolerable.
Since this is likely to be a redo, will we expect monsters-of-the-week?
8346092
I'm thinking on that. It'd give me more ideas for monster designs, but I don't want the monsters themselves to look ridiculous either. They have to be enough of a threat to require at least a little teamwork. After all, that IS what I'm going for. I mean, what do you think of the whole "monster of the week" idea?
Titan has just had his name changed! Everypony, meet Nadir, the dark sorcerer aiming to rule over all...
Now to go edit the trope page!
8346437
I like it. This is, after all, a Starfleet redo, and it wouldn't be Starfleet Magic without the monsters.
8346489
Good point! Monsters can stay.
8346493
As for how you can do the Celesto/Celestia romance, you can build it up throughout the second half, and it could culminate in the finale.
8346500
That's the thing, though. They're not gonna be romantically involved. They'll have a past together, sure, but it won't involve love.
I've just noticed the new name for Titan, and it's made me think of another name you could possibly add before or after it - Shah.
Cookies for whoever gets the reference.
8347390
I looked it up, and I'm not trying to draw any real world parallels.
8347395 Fair enough.
8347415
Thanks to jeramiahsental_2 for the proofreading. Thanks to him, I now know what a hem is.
The rest of it might take some time, but just know that it's slowly, but surely, being improved upon, little by little.
Managed to do the rest of the edits myself (don't know how well they'll do, but I did the best I can), and I did not notice how many times I messed up. I mean, wow. I even had a lowercase I! Who allows a lowercase I in their fics? Seriously!
Even when I edit, I find a new way to screw something up! Truly, I are an amazing writer.
I needed this after reading Mykan's Starfleet.
Hmm... Interestingly enough, even though this is supposed to be a deconstruction of a fic, this story feels more like its own thing, while elements of a saturday morning cartoon are here (The bad guy is evil,the good guys are good, there are monsters) nothing can guarantee that the morality of the characters will not gray over time, or that there will not be a morally ambiguous character, speaking of characters, if it weren't for Legbie's comment or Tv Tropes, I wouldnt notice who the characters are supposed to be, and do not worry Cornholey, that is not a bad thing, I really dig these characters, Colin is a real cutie for example, and I really love that Lightning crossed the Heroes Frontier Step when he saved CrystaL, and Im willing to bet that Nadir will cross the Moral Event Horizont sooner or later.
8368418
It's actually more of a reconstruction.
And thanks! Glad to see Colin already has a fan.
so, when is the estimated date of release of the next chapter?
8369428
I was in a bit of a depression because of the latest episode of FiM. I'm over it now. I should be done by the end of the next week, depending on my schedule. I apologize for the delay.
Well, well, well, well, thumb1.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/3936650/385319503/stock-vector-the-stone-well-with-a-bucket-and-drinking-water-isolated-on-a-white-background-cartoon-vector-385319503.jpg I find it interesting to see that I'm not the only one who planned to do a retelling that isn't of an outright deconstruction of something terrible. I extend a hand of congratulations to you Senor for beating me to the punch and also managing to start off rather not bad. I will follow your version as a show of support and wish you luck on this endeavor - it'll be interesting to see how things do shake out in the end.
I didn't expect Mykan to be here. I just read this and came to say, it's looking good so far. Even though you've made Lightning Dawn more tolerable, I still have a bitter after taste with his true original characterization, that I can't look at him the same way anymore. So I can't wait how you continue this.
Best of luck. I wish I can write like you guys