(Not) Black and White: A Displaced Fic

by Masterweaver

Introductions

Now, I realize that up to this point I've been basically telling you how I was panicking about my situation for a while. I want to make it clear: I grew out of that. I learned about my situation. And I guess I adapted.

Heh. Not that I ever thought I would need to adapt. This was so far outside the context of what I had lived for--I basically made my living as a professional research analyst. I could gather data, interpret it, organize it... it wasn't glamorous, to be sure, but it was a living, and I don't know if I'd have gotten as far as I did in this whole thing without the skills I picked up on the job.

It's always the way, isn't it? You bungle through life, learning whatever you can as you go, and you just.... when things crop up that you didn't prepare for, you find that what you've learned is just enough to let you survive. Or get you that new... whatever it is you wanted. Or whatever. It's not like I had a plan at all. Not a single one. But...

I'm rambling, I'm sorry. My life has certainly taken a turn for the strange. The very, very strange, if I'm honest. I mean, being dropped into another world, with a new body, that was only the beginning of my troubles. I... wow, it's been a year since then already? It's just.... there's a lot of ground to cover, I guess. A lot of stuff to explain, and...

...I think I'll just skip to the morning after Zecora got me to her house. That's when I first got to Ponyville. In retrospect, it was packed full of warning signs that I just happened to miss.

---

"So... I just realized I never introduced myself," I admitted as we strode down the dirt road, a stream of water bubbling beside us. "And you kind of saved my life and put up with me for the night, so that's... not right. I'm Briar Blumenthal. Or... I was, before all this... I mean, should I get a new name now that I have this body? Or is that... strange?"

"Your name's meaning is special, true, but what you choose is up to you." The small zebra gave me a wry grin. "I did once think to take pony name, but for me it is not the same. Zecora, I've had since I was born; changing it would earn my mother's scorn. And the only change of my own, you see, was that mystical time known as puberty."

"Oh. Right. Yeah, that... is a change." I couldn't help but blush. "And, honestly, I... kind of... you know... I'm not looking forward to seeing what other surprises this body has for me."

"Aside from your new feline ears, you think you will find other odd fears?"

"I mean, I don't... maybe? Maybe it turns out that I actually get a reaction from catnip or like tuna or something, but--" My blush grew. "Honestly, it's more mundane then that. Females of my species--which I still seem to be like, mostly--they kind of, well, there's this whole.... cycle, and, uh.... I mean it is really, really awkward for me to talk about."

Zecora rolled her eyes. "I live in a forest with creatures of all kind. Whatever it is, I surely won't mind."

...so then I proceeded to give her an abridged version of the talk. You know the one.

After two minutes of utter silence, Zecora nodded. "Your embarrassment brings me no surprise, now that the truth is before my eyes. But in the end, I do believe you will be well prepared for that eve."

"But--"

"Hear me out! The fact is you know what will happen and how it shall go. While your experience prior might be indirect, you know to prepare and expect this time of month you so much despair, so you have little reason to beware. Simply do what you should, and when the time nears, you shall be ready to face your fears."

"Um. Well. I mean..." I looked around, trying to find some way to change the conversation. "Oh, hey, we're coming out of the forest now, so I guess we're close to town, right?"

"Ponyville is a small trek from this place," Zecora acknowledged. "And already, I see a friendly face." She smiled, her walk picking up as we approached...

...well...

Zecora's house had been made out of a tree. This building, linked to the road by a small footbridge, almost seemed carved out of a hill. Almost, because I could see the brick walls and the crooked chimney, but the roof was layered with grass and greens. An inordinate number of birdhouses hung from wherever they could--the branches of a nearby tree, a peg leaning out from a window, a ledge on the chimney, over the front door--and as we grew closer I could see burrows dug carefully around the winding footpath. Behind the cottage proper--and calling it anything but a cottage felt wrong--a yellow quadruped with a long pink tail and mane was busily lecturing the chickens as they fluttered around their coop.

"Elizabeak, stop trying to keep the others from their meals. You may be the head hen, but that doesn't give you the right to hurt others for your own benefit."

"Fluttershy, if I could pull you from your tweets?" Zecora called out. "I have somebody that I'd like you to meet."

The yellow creature turned around, revealing a pair of dewy moss-green eyes that quite frankly made me wonder if I'd accidentally found my way into some bizarre anime. "Oh, hello Zecora. Oh, and..." Her voice, already ludicrously soft, trailed into nothingness as her eyes made her way up, up, up to my face.

I managed an awkward wave. "Hey there. Um... I'm Briar... Briar Blumenthal..."

She continued to stare at me for a bit. Then a pair of tiny feathered wings unfurled, and she hovered up to a position where she could look at me face to face. Those big dewy eyes focused on my own.

"...high binocular vision... minimal facial hair or body hair, long scalp hair... highly developed graspers on the forepaws."

"Uh--"

"Frontal development, maybe modified attraction bladders." She fluttered around behind me and poked--I jumped a bit. "Both fat and muscle on the rear, no tail. Plantigrade legs, if the shoes are anything to go by."

I swear Zecora was hiding a smile behind her hoof, but I was too busy turning around to give the yellow flying pony thing a piece of my mind. "Look, miss, I hmmnph?!"

"Eight incisors, four canines, eight premolars and eight molars. Canines are short, but prominent, probably kills animals before consumption. Molars suggest preference for less dense plant matter, no grasses, fruits and perhaps some soft leaves. Highly omnivorous."

The yellow pony pulled her hoof out of my mouth, nodded once, and turned to Zecora. "Best guess, she's descended from giant prehistoric desert raccoons."

My ears--well, the upper ones anyway--folded back at that. "I always heard it was a plains-dwelling ape... did you have to give me an examination? You could have just asked!"

It was as though a switch was flipped in her mind. Her face went as pink as her mane, and she practically fell to the ground with a strangely adorable squeak. "Oh my gosh. I am so so sorry, I--I just, I saw a new critter friend, and--and I just, I am so sorry, I wasn't thinking, I--"

"Fluttershy is kind," Zecora interjected, "but if frank I might be, she has trouble talking to her fellow pony. With animals she is more at ease; I truly doubt she meant to displease."

I crossed my arms, but... look, you can't stay mad at Fluttershy. Not if she's not mad at you. I mean, all ponies have big eyes, but only Fluttershy really knows how to use them. I mean, the way she was looking at me, flustered and biting her lip, it was....

"...just don't stick your hand in my mouth again," I muttered. "Or hoof or whatever... and don't poke me in the butt."

"Okay..."

Zecora smiled faintly. "Now that this incident has passed us by, I've something to ask you, friend Fluttershy."

The yellow pony perked up at that. "Oh?"

"Briar and I were headed to Twilight. There are a few things she might make right. But the ponies in town, to say the least, might mistake Briar for some sort of beast. That's something we would like to avoid, you see--perhaps you would come with my friend and me?"

"Oh! I could do that, I guess. If, you know, Briar is okay with that..."

I had to sigh at the awkward glance she shot me. "It's fine, I guess. I don't think I'm going to get any weirder greetings then an examination."

Fluttershy and Zecora shared a look.

"...what?"

Zecora shrugged. "I would explain Pinkie Pie, but that task is far too great to try."

"Pinkie's... usually very nice," Fluttershy allowed, "and she means well, and... she can get a touch overeager when she's trying to make friends or welcome new ponies."

"Like 'tackle hug and get in your face' overeager?" I asked.

"...More like 'bring out her party cannon and invite half the town' overeager," Fluttershy replied.

"Party cannon?"

"It's... trust me, you have to see it to believe it."

Comments

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Hee hee hee, can't wait to see what happens!

[LEGION55]

.....Ok, I'm interested

[FanOfMostEverything]

Ah, zoologist Fluttershy. A sadly rare sight, but I'm always happy when I spot her. Hopefully she'll help Briar survive the first brush with Pinkie.

[Heidao]

The ads on this site are getting disturbing, I'm enjoying this chapter and suddenly greeted by a promotion to some sort of... rape simulator?

The hell Fimfic

[blazikenking]

Here's to another amusing chapter. Plase, do keep it up, but, you know, a little faster. Just a little.

[Krazyfan1]

Great as usual.

....Raccoons...eh, close enough...

[Malandy]

Bioanalysis! And she got it wrong! Interesting!

Also Pinkie Pie. I expected Pinkie first, but Fluttershy makes so much more sense.

We don't actually know how similar to Earth, Briar's original universe was... Hmm...

[Skalula7]

well that was certainly a different first meeting with fluttershy that I've ever seen

[Greatazuredragon]

"Eight incisors, four canines, eight premolars and eight molars. Canines are short, but prominent, probably kills animals before consumption. Molars suggest preference for less dense plant matter, no grasses, fruits and perhaps some soft leaves. Highly omnivorous."
The yellow pony pulled her hoof out of my mouth, nodded once, and turned to Zecora. "Best guess, she's descended from giant prehistoric desert raccoons."

Nice story so far, good work.

[Kage no Brony]

8316114

I bet it was the cat ears. Never said she put the bow back on.

[Gizmo Gear]

Briar Blumenthal.

Tut.

Really?