Formerly 6samuelb
Sieges are never pleasant, for attacker or defender, but the ending can often be worse, as angry soldiers sack their enemies and extract petty vengeance for their discomfort. There’s a reason that surrender is common, but when the besieged are monsters, what kind of surrender can be accepted? Whisper, the Duke’s spymaster, must find one if he is to save everything he cares about from the Princesses’ wrath and his liege’s pride.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, it’s a pretty interesting story but it’s a little hard to follow.
None of the character’s are described in detail and it makes it difficult to imagine the scenes in which they interact.
And I know it’s meant to be immersive but filling us in on what exactly is taking place is important.
Still, the dialogue’s pretty god and the story has potential.
Also, Duke Crimson? Magister Black?
Is this Reservoir Dogs or something?
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Thanks for the feedback.
I’m not familiar with Reservoir Dogs, just bad at names.
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Don’t worry. They’re not actually that bad.
I just thought it was a rather funny reference.
Mr Pink, Mr Blonde, Mr Green, that sort of thing.
... Celestia, you. Are. A. Bitch. And one utterly lacking in honor, compassion, and all those things you profess to hold dear. Whisper should have just fled with the his niece and the other two and left your hypocritical hides to be ground up between two armies. May you live to see your precious ponies die in pain until none remember you and your traitorous sibling. May the voices of the dead you and your four-legged SS created drive you to the edge of madness until sleep becomes torture.
Well done. Tragic that despite Whisper sacrificing everything but his niece the Bitch Sisters couldn't see past their own bigoted "ideals". In the end they really proved to be no better than the Duke - turning a blind eye to the same wanton murder of civilians by their own "soldiers". The same arrogant pride and bigotry too. Just couldn't accept that sometimes they need to accept others views as having just as much validity as theirs.
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Gods, I was an edgy teen when I wrote this. The fact I was actually in my twenties just makes that worse.
Still, I think you're misreading some stuff here, there's some stuff that I worked to imply without outright stating. Celestia is certainly flawed (every character here is, except maybe Shadow Dancer), but there's reasons behind what she does:
The Equestrians didn't really understand the vampirism's nature, assuming all nocturnus were vampires and that vampires had to kill to survive, meaning they were by their existence a threat to the ponies, and the brutality of the attack on Mirkwood is because of that. Once it's made clear that that isn't the case, all surrenders are accepted. This is suggested when Luna is explaining why they're now taking prisoners by saying their information was incomplete. Tolerance is a peace treaty, you cannot tolerate those trying to kill you, and until Whisper's negotiation, they thought that all Nocturnus were. It was a dangerous and incorrect assumption, but possibly one they didn't even make directly; if their sources on the (secretive and paranoid) vampires were wrong, then so would they be.
The vampires absolutely provoked the situation, attacking across a border and harming her subjects, Equestria only attacked in retaliation. I would hope that, at least, is clear. And while portions of the vampire court were against it, that doesn't change the fact that as a polity, they de facto went to war with Equestria. Celestia and Luna had to do something, and with Duke Crimson unwilling to negotiate, that something was war.
The only prisoner actually executed post-siege is Silver Sword, who wanted to die anyway. Inky Black is basically given a royal budget to study means of curing vampirism, something of benefit to both Equestria and himself, given his unwilling Curse, and Midnight Blade, the random spy suddenly introduced in the last scene isn't just a random character because I needed one (if the scene was just what it appears on the face, I would have had Night Secret be the spy as she's already been set up in the role), he is Whisper (same Mark and eyes, as well as how Shadow Dancer is comfortable with him). There wasn't time to delicately arrange a legal escape for someone responsible for horrors (in the eyes of the Equestrian troops) without decimating morale, something the Equestrians don't have time for with the griffon invasion, plus he's a legitimately brilliant spymaster, his assistance is of use to them. So they faked his execution (notice how unlike with Silver, there's no description of the precise aftereffects of what happens, only that blinding radiance descends on him) and now he works for Luna.
Was there some prejudice and rash action? Absolutely. Were things done that would be war crimes in a modern world? Yep. But it's not the modern world and no-one here is working on perfect information, Celestia included. She (and Luna) were wrong, but they were wrong for actual reasons (unlike bigots, who are wrong without reason).
(Now going into thematic reading I got from my reread, I can't promise it was intentional when I was writing it a half-decade ago)
This isn't a story about tragedy in face of blind bigotry. It's a story about bad information and power reacting to its own mistakes. The Two Sisters recognise their mistakes, made with bad information, and work to rectify them. Duke Crimson ignores the good information in front of him and doubles down on his errors. And that's why Whisper, motivated purely by wanting to protect his family and whose greatest weapon is his ability to get good information, switches sides.
Thanks for getting me to reread it, though. I'm quite pleased with how it holds up after so long, not everything I've written does!