Today was a day marred by sweltering heat. The sun shone brightly against the blacktop that spanned across my periphery. I could feel the sweat bead across my forehead as I continued to work on my latest creation.
When I started working on a new project it almost ubiquitously had the tendency to consume my thoughts and attention. My focus was my greatest ally, and I used my concentration to maintain my progress. There was very little that could get in the way of me and my latest endeavor; often my own bodily needs came second to my work.
My parents regularly complained about how difficult it was to get my attention when I was in an inventive mood. Consequently, I would often miss entire conversations to my insatiable desire to create.
There was one voice however, that always managed to penetrate my concentration.
“Where did you put the solder Arty?” I dropped my screw driver into my latest project as the utterance shattered my concentration.
I glanced towards the interruption as I lifted my copper goggles to my forehead. “Bend over and I’ll show you,” I responded; mirth dripping like honey from every word.
“Hey now,” interjected our peacekeeper. “That’s no way to talk to your sister Arty— even if the solder is right in front of her.” He let out a chuckle as he continued working on a piece of oak with his band saw. Clearly he was used to these kinds of interactions.
Our garage was our collective sanctuary. My father created this space to work on his own personal projects, but he quickly incorporated my sister and I as he observed our interests.
My sister always had an affinity for the natural sciences; she loved to study and experiment with biology and chemistry. This was painfully obvious by the various vials and beakers that littered her corner of the garage. Despite her preferences, her interests never stopped her from exploring new territory from time to time. Coincidentally, now was one of those times as she was currently working on building a circuit board to use as a controller for a set of lights for her much beloved fish tank; or ‘fish sanctuary’ as she referred to it.
I could feel the heat of my sister’s glare burning into the back of my neck as I turned to resume my project.
“Jerk…” she accused with a puff.
“Come on Bambi, you know I was only joking,” I explained defensively as I delicately pulled the screw driver off the motherboard I was installing.
“You know that’s not my name Arty,” she replied indignantly as she lit up the soldering iron.
“Hey, one of the perks of being a big brother is the privilege to make up nicknames for your little sister,” I respond with a smirk; I knew exactly how she was going to counter to my assertion.
“Big Brother!? You’re only 15 minutes older than me!” she exclaimed.
I shot here a sly smile to convey my confidence. “One minute, one year, what’s the difference?”
Even though she was glowering at me, I could tell that there was an air of lightheartedness to her outrage. As much as she drove me crazy, I knew she was also the one responsible for keeping me sane.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re just jealous that I was invited to the science symposium and not you,” she accused; a coy smile spreading across her face.
“Psh, whatever,” I replied dismissively. “You know that whole thing is just one big joke.”
“Oh yeah?” she questioned. “We’ll see how much of a joke it is when I win my Nobel prize.” A loud clang rang out as she set down her soldering iron against the stainless-steel table in her work area. “I’ve got to go pack anyways,” she said; grabbing her backpack and heading towards the entrance to the house.
“Hey Beth?” I asked before she could leave the room.
“Yeah Arty?” she replied.
“Good luck.” I said with a sincere grin. “Show them what the Baldarich’s are capable of!” I could see the light smile tug at her face as she look her leave from the workshop. After she left I pulled down my goggles and resumed my work in bliss.
I wish I had known then what I knew now. I would give anything to be able to stop her from leaving that day.
My body felt comatose as I lay against the frigid ground. My head was pounding feverishly and I could still taste the wretched flavor of copper in my mouth. After a moment of lying still, I knew that I needed to get up so that I could analyze my current predicament. Defying the will of my body, I allowed my eyes to peek open ever so slowly; I genuinely feared what might eyes might reveal to me.
What I saw when my vision finally returned was a little unexpected to say the least.
Based on the stalagmites that hung perilously from the ceiling above me, I reasonably deduced that I was currently in some sort of cavern. Tilting my head to the side took a bit more effort than I had expected, mostly because of the headache that was still beating away at my skull.
The room was surprisingly well lit for what looked to be a natural cave. Looking around allowed me to pick out the various spotlights that littered the room; all seemingly pointing in the same direction towards the front of the cave. Because of the intense luminosity of the light beams, it was quite easy to see the ceiling of the cave that lay roughly thirty feet above. The brightness of the light fixtures only caused my headache to intensify.
God, I would do anything for an Advil right now, I thought to myself.
As much as my body ached, I knew that I didn’t regret my actions in the slightest. I’m usually a very reserved and non-confrontational person, but the moment that monster mentioned my sister, all bets were off. I still remember the sickening crunch from when I rammed my horn into his chest; as well as the blood curdling scream that followed. I used to tell myself that I would never hurt another soul, but I always knew that there was an exception for my sister.
The events that followed are a bit hazier to me, but I do remember the hoof to the face that knocked me off Adagio. From my vantage point on the ground I was able to tell he was bleeding pretty badly, but I was also certain that he would live another day. The last thing that I remembered was Maple pouncing on top of me and punching my head repeatedly. I passed out shortly after that.
Before I could spend too much time gathering my bearings, I could hear the opening of a heavy door. The grand “whooshing” noise that it created echoed vibrantly against the walls, and made me think that the door was vacuum sealed.
The sudden movement of the door startled me into action. I did the best I could to get my hooves beneath me; unfortunately, the sudden tugging at my left hoof alerted me to the fact that I was chained to the adjacent rock wall. I began to panic as the hoofsteps drew closer with every passing moment.
At this point, I knew all I could do was face the music.
“Well, well, well… what do we have here honey?” mocked the petite mare. It was as if the features of her body were a direct contradiction to her true personality.
“Looks like an ungrateful little shit to me!” sneered the hobbling white stallion. The whole front half of his body was wrapped in bandages from our earlier confrontation. I could see a small amount of crimson still bleeding through the gauze wrapping that adorned his chest.
The nasty couple both looked worse for wear, probably because of the wrench I threw into their plans with my violent outburst. They both were sporting unkempt manes and had bags under their eyes that made them look like they might fall over at any minute. It looked as though their anger towards me was the only thing still keeping them going at this point. It was a terrifying notion, and their presence alone was enough to make me feel sick to my stomach.
I could feel a sense of strength return to my body as they ventured closer. The longer I was awake the more I remembered exactly why I was so angry. It was as if the fire in my soul had been transformed into a raging bonfire. “WHERE IS SHE!?” I yelled; pulling harshly against the chain that kept me immobilized.
“You’ll do what we say little colt,” Adagio derided. “Either that, or you’re never going to see her again,” he added with a smirk. “You’re lucky that we need you alive. Otherwise I would have gutted you myself.”
“Help you!?” I asked incredulously. “Why would I ever help scum like you? How do I know that you’re not lying about my sister? She’s been gone for almost a decade!” I could feel tears begin to well up in my eyes as long buried emotions began to be unearthed.
“We brought her here just like we brought you here,” answered Maple. “At first we thought she would be enough… but as the situation developed she became too…” she paused for a moment; putting a hoof to her chin as if searching for the correct words, “…recalcitrant to work with,” she finished.
“What did you do to her!?” I asked pleadingly.
“She’s fine you idiot,” Adagio replied as he rolled his eyes. “And she will stay that way as long as you cooperate with us here.”
I was both relieved and terrified at the same time. The fact that she was still alive was enough for me to feel a sense of relief; but it’s been so long since I’ve seen her.
How do I even know that she’s the same person I knew all those years ago? I thought to myself.
I knew it didn’t matter. No matter if I hadn’t seen her in ten years or ten-thousand years; I would do whatever it took to get her back. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
“What do you want me to do?” I uttered in defeat.
“The deal is simple Artemis—“ started Maple.
“You know that’s not my name!” I exclaimed indignantly.
“It is now boy!” interjected Adagio. “It’s your own damn fault that we had to go through all of that trouble to get you fake documentation. We would have been just fine with keeping your presence under wraps, but you just had to wind up in the middle of town,” he accused unwaveringly.
“Like I was saying…” Maple continued; shooting a glare at her husband for interrupting her. “The deal is simple. All you need to do is finish a project for us. Once it’s been completed we will reunite you with your sister and then you two can both go along your merry way.” She held her hoof out to me, clearly expecting an agreement. “Sound fair?”
After a moment of hesitation, I gave my response, “Fine.” I let out a light sigh. “I’ll agree under one condition,” I said with absolute certainty.
“You really think we’re going to give you anything after that stunt you pulled back at the house!?” answered the white stallion as he took a furious step towards me. “It’s going to be hard enough to explain to everypony why I’m wrapped up like this!”
“What do you want little colt,” Maple asked in agitation. I knew that if I didn’t act quick she wouldn’t be likely to listen to what I have to say.
“I want to see her...” I paused for a second. “…I need to know that she’s really here.” As I finished the demand, I could feel a single tear seep into my coat. I was utterly disgusted with how weak I was acting.
After I completed my demand, the couple took a moment to glance towards each other as if they were having a silent but heated discussion. I wasn’t able to grasp what they were arguing about, but it was clear that my demand was more complicated than I had thought.
After a moment of contemplation Maple finally responded, “I’m sorry but there’s no way that I can bring you to her right now,” she noticed my scowl but continued onward anyways, “However I do have something that might give you some reassurance.”
Before I could ask what she meant, the mare quickly walked back towards the front entrance of the cave. I couldn’t see much beyond the blinding spotlights, but I could hear the scraping of metal on metal as she opened what I assumed must have been a large filing cabinet. Adagio was staring at me with a death glare the entire time his wife was absent; normally I would be terrified by the imposing stallion, but my conviction allowed me to match his glare while we waited. When Maple walked back over towards us, I noticed the small manila envelope that she was carrying over with her teeth.
“What is that?” I asked with genuine curiosity; tearing my gaze away from Adagio.
“Look for yourself,” she said as she dropped the sealed envelope at my hooves.
After of moment of staring in bewilderment, I knelt down and unsealed the envelope the best that I could with my clumsy hooves; it was bit more difficult than it sounds, especially considering one of my hooves was chained to the wall. When I finally removed the seal, l I reverently withdrew the contents from the package onto the ground.
What I saw made my heart stop. Laying on the ground in front of me was a small silver and gold necklace with a delicate turtle hanging off the end. The pendant was intricately engraved, and if one looked closely enough they could see the small atom symbol that was embossed on the underbelly of the sea reptile. I immediately recognized the amulet; it’s hard to forget something that you bought yourself.
“Okay…” I said as I shakily regained my balance, “I believe you that she was here, but how can I know that she is still okay? How do I know you didn’t just get rid of her when you didn’t need her anymore?” I questioned.
“Are you really willing to take that chance boy?” asked Adagio. “Cause the way I see it you don’t really have any other choice than to believe us.” The smile on his face was sickening; I almost wish I had killed him when I had the chance. However, despite my distaste for the stallion, the sinking feeling in my heart told me that I would have been devastated if I had killed another sentient being; even if they were a monster.
“Come along then,” interrupted the purple mare, “I’ll unlock you if you promise not to try anything funny.” She took a step towards me; pulling a key-ring out of the bag that she wore on her flank. “And remember if you do—“ she whispered as she leaned over towards me “—you can kiss her goodbye.” My blood ran cold as she knelt down with her mouth to unlock the chain that was holding me to the wall.
I felt a great relief as my hoof was freed from its metal prison. I softly rubbed the area where the chain had been constricting around my fetlock. The intense soreness radiating around my hoof caused a question to pop into my mind.
“How long have I been here?” I asked while carefully stretching out my legs, “And where is here exactly?” I asked after considering my first inquisition.
“It’s about two am right now, so I don’t know… maybe nine or ten hours?” concluded Maple after a moment’s hesitation. “And as for where we are— well why don’t I give you the grand tour,” she said; panning her hoof around the cavern as if she were showing off a grandiose monument.
After she was finished with her lofty display, Maple began to walk towards the front section of the rock shelter. Adagio shot me a suspicious stare that aptly conveyed he was keeping an eye on me, before turning to follow after his wife. Despite my hesitance, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided that I would follow quietly behind my two captors. Before walking after them however, I took the necklace that I held in my hooves and gracefully secured it around my neck.
After walking about thirty feet, we reached an intersection and continued left down the hallway in the direction of the lights. I was beginning to understand that this was more of a carefully carved complex as opposed to a natural cave. When we finally reached our destination the state of the room was certainly unexpected.
The room that surrounded me was circular in nature and massive to the point where looking up almost made me feel sick. It reminded me a lot of the stomach churning feeling that you get from standing at the bottom of a skyscraper and looking straight up; almost as if the building itself was going to topple on you.
Scattered along the walls and ceiling, various wires were strewn about with a clearly rushed and patchwork appearance. The various wiring directed my attention towards the center of the room where various modern machines lay dormant. The focal point of the room was the command center in the middle of the room which looked like something straight out of Wargames. The many monitors and workstations looked like they all connected to a central hub where a massive screen was protruding from the wall. The whole setup looked quite slipshod; it was if the people who set up the room had very little experience with what they were doing.
“Welcome to your new workshop Artemis,” Maple said with a smile. “I’m sure you will do great things for us.”
The various machines that surrounded me were decidedly modern and top of the line. 3D Printers, CNC Machines, Server Racks, as well as many workbenches and testing implements. Even with only a cursory glance, I could tell that this was a full-fledged workstation; there was only one problem, “Everything here is busted,” I asserted as matter of fact; being careful to avoid the shattered glass that surrounded the main display. “How am I supposed to work with all this broken equipment?” I asked in annoyance.
“Don’t worry, we have someone that can bring you supplies,” Adagio answered. “Whatever you need to get this facility running, we can get to you.”
The fact that they had all of this powerful machinery in one place came as quite a surprise to me. I knew that I had only been here for a couple days, but everything I had seen up to this point led me to believe that ponies didn’t posses technology with this level of complexity. Something here seemed suspicious; they clearly must have stolen this equipment if they needed my help to repair it.
“Okay…” I nodded slowly in understanding. “Well, how am I supposed to build anything without my hands?”
“Use your magic dumbass,” Adagio deadpanned; rolling his eyes in ridicule.
“Use my magic for what?” I questioned. I was beginning to grow slightly agitated with their lack of explanation.
“Levitation obviously!” exclaimed Adagio. “Even a unicorn as dense as you should be able to handle such a simple spell.”
“I don’t know how to use magic you moron,” I explained. “I haven’t exactly had the time to sit down with a book since I got here.”
“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing that you’re starting school tomorrow,” the white stallion added off-handedly. “Even if it is a pain in the ass, I’m sure they’ll show you a thing or two.”
“What school!?” I was shocked. “What would a need that for?” After six years in university, I was convinced that I had gotten all that I needed from my education.
“Oh trust me, I know it’s a huge waste of time,” explained Adagio. “But we don’t have much choice, what with everyone in town knowing who you are now.”
“You can’t just tell them I’m being home schooled or something?” I suggested; a bit apprehensive about returning to grade school in my twenties.
“We’re not qualified for something like that. Trust me we looked into it.” Adagio let out a heavy sigh, clearly exhausted with the whole situation. “Then there’s also the fact that they would want to do home visits, and that’s just too much of a risk,” he explained. “Sorry kid, but it is what it is.”
I let out a sigh that mirrored Adagio’s sentiment.
Tomorrow’s going to be interesting, I reasoned with myself.
“So what am I building here then?” I asked; utterly confused with what they were expecting from me.
“We’ll tell you more when we know you aren’t going to run on us,” Maple explained. “Everything will make a lot more sense once you get everything up and running,” she finished, returning the key from earlier to her bag.
“How am I supposed to work if you won’t even tell me what I’m working on?” I asked with a bit of scorn.
“All you need to worry about is fixing up the place for now.” Maple said. “Once you do that we will know that you can be trusted to know more,” she added cryptically.
This whole situation seemed very suspicious to me. I knew that I hadn't been here for long, but the technology that they had in this room was unlike anything that I had seen since I arrived here. Most of the machines they had would have been insanely expensive back home, and the state that they were in implied that they weren't treated with care. I couldn’t understand why they needed me to do the repairs for them rather than just hire someone else to do the job. I had so many questions but I knew I was unlikely to receive any answers, especially with the current state of affairs..
“Alright boy. Now that you’ve seen the place, let’s get back home. It’s already late and we all have to be up early tomorrow.” Adagio said in a dull tone.
Despite my curiosity, I couldn’t help but agree that Adagio was right. All of this would still be here tomorrow, and by all accounts, it looked like I was going to be here for awhile too.
“Alright then,” I responded simply as the three of us made our way towards the exit.
I was correct before in my assumption about the door being vacuum sealed. The entrance was sealed by a heavy-duty airlock, contained by two massive steel doors on each end. Upon reaching the exit, Maple hit the maroon button hanging against the wall to open the first of the doors. Once we had stepped into the airlock, the interior door shut behind us and the exterior door began to open.
“What is this place?” I asked in genuine wonderment after stepping back into the outside world. The area that surrounded us was a forest, but I could see a massive deteriorating castle immediately in front of where we were standing. The entrance to the cave was hidden from plain sight by some trees and bushes that ran along the path to the castle gates. It was hard to make out much of the castle because of how late it was, but the intimidating structure still sent shivers down my spine.
“It’s Celestia’s old castle,” responded Adagio. “Now come on, I’d like to get home before the sun starts rising.” He started walking down the path in the direction opposite the castle. “And be quiet while we walk back. Trust me, there’s some creatures in this forest that you don’t want to attract,” he said as he looked back over his shoulder. I wanted to know more, but I knew that now wasn’t the time to push my luck.
We moved through the forest with great alacrity. As we were traveling, I did the best that I could to remember our path through the forest so that I could return to the facility on my own if it were ever necessary. The path was dark and quite lengthy, but I thought I had a decent idea of how to return to the castle if I needed to.
By the time we made it back to Ponyville it must have been close to four in the morning. The streets were completely devoid of ponies, and the lack of colorful equines gave the town certain eeriness to it. Maple and Adagio were mostly silent during our trek through the forest; I wasn’t sure if was because of the monsters that supposedly littered the forest, or if they were just tired from what I assume must have been a long day.
When we eventually made our way back to the house, it was clear that Adagio’s limping had grown worse over time. He let out a labored sigh as he reached into his bag to grab the key for the house. After the door was open, he quietly limped up the staircase to retire for the night.
I almost felt bad for him for a second, almost.
“For what it’s worth, I can promise you that she’s okay,” Maple whispered to me as we stood in the entrance way. She looked detached, but for some reason her words sounded genuine. Despite her change in tone, I knew this mare was a master of facades; this was likely just another trick.
“Why would I ever trust what you have to say?” I questioned suspiciously while looking down at the teak floor. I just didn’t have the strength to glare at her anymore.
“You don’t have a reason to trust me,” Maple answered simply. “I just wanted you to know that me and Adagio don’t always see eye to eye on things,” she continued cryptically. “We need you, yes. But I don’t see why this relationship can’t be mutually beneficial.” She waited a moment for my response, but silence is the only response that she received. “Just keep it in mind,” she said, beginning to make her way upstairs. “Your room’s the one on the right up here,” she added as she reached the top of the staircase. “Make sure you’re up for eight tomorrow; we have appearances to keep up now,” Maple finished; quietly making her way into her shared bedroom down the hall.
For the briefest of moments, I considered running and never looking back; however, I knew deep down that this thought process was pointless. Even if there was an exceedingly small chance that they actually had her, I knew that I need to stick around to find out. He may be a monster but he did get one thing right: I was not willing to take that chance. As much as I wanted to go home, there was no way that I was leaving this world without her.
After a few minutes of standing stationary lost in my own thoughts, I reluctantly made my way up the staircase. I had decided that I might as well get a little bit of sleep while I still can.
I pushed my way into the small white room, and compared to what I had seen thus far, the room was pretty tame. The only furniture in the room was a twin bed, a nightstand, a wooden desk and chair, and a small dresser with a mirror resting on top.
I walked over to the mirror and glanced reluctantly at my own reflection. I could feel the sense of defeat permeating through my visage. The pony that looked back at me was a disappointment; a failure.
“Why am I so weak?” I repeated to myself in a hushed tone.
I could feel the tears that I had been holding back begin to cloud my vision. My whole world seemed as though it was falling apart before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do.
Thankfully, before I could lose myself in despair and self-loathing, a brief twinkling of light caught my attention. As I looked up into the mirror once more, the moonlight shining off my necklace immediately drew the attention of my tear-filled eyes.
I don’t know what it was, but at that moment I felt more determined than I had ever felt in my entire life. I knew what I had to do; I knew that I had a responsibility.
“I’m going to find you,” I said; clutching the medallion against my chest.
“I promise.”
I wonder just how bad the damage is? I get the feeling that one of our two villains is not going to be around much longer.
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!
Good chapter nonetheless.
Really, their biggest mistake is giving him free access to repair of bunch of stuff, when they seemingly have no idea how any of it is supposed to work, and are clearly confident for whatever reason that this won't come back to take a bite out of their asses.
Very interesting... I want to see where this is going.
I don't understand why he doesn't just kill the stallion in his sleep quickly, disable the mate even swifter, and just "enhanced interrogate" her for all the information he needs to know; there are plenty of ways to cause nonlethal agony and anguish. Hel, torture the both of their disabled forms for information, and have the other watch; the example will prove a level of psychological warfare, allowing them to crack without having to touch them much. Torture the stallion, as he refuses to talk, and turn to the mare. Seriously, he seems to lack the resolve to ensure his sister's safety.
8243449 Valid points. Of course, for Arty to become proficient with his TK enough to effect repairs would/should be a sufficient weapon to bite them before he gets anywhere near to fixing it for their plans.
They're sending him to school to not only basically learn how to build a gun, but how to make the ammunition and how to fire it. Isn't one of the Rules for Evil Overlords "Never mind the idea of 'making sure of where he's going to point it' -- Never EVER give a loaded weapon to a hostage! PERIOD!"?
Still, I'm curious as to their plans. They've either found ancient Equestian tech (unlikely as that would probably be more along the likes of Star Gate SG1 type of Ancients' shit) or they've yanked a bunch of crap from Earth, not accounting for how rough the transfer was...but for what purpose? For Nuking Canterlot (--stupidly suicidal as that would be as that would end life on the planet)?? Nuking one or more of Equestria's neighbors? Hacking the Equestrian Stock Exchange?
Moreover, I'm really interested in just how these two managed to pull off these kidnappings--from their description in the previous chapter, it would seem Maple and Adagio are earth ponies... so who/what helped them with the interdimensional/interstellar transfer??
Why don't they just... ask a unicorn to repair their stuff...
I have to wonder if Man have been to Equestria before?
Also, it could be his sister was transferred to Equestria but maybe long before Arty... She could be older now or worse had passed away and we have her kid trying to run off back to the real home world.
Seems legit. Which brings to mind...
he will the create the fucking Ironman Suite please dear god lol xD
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Most people aren't really capable of doing something like that, especially not our main protagonist. Willfully killing or torturing someone just isn't something that most people would do unless it was a last resort situation. They may be nasty ponies, but that doesn't change that fact that they are living sentient beings.
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You all have interesting comments/questions. I promise you that all of these concerns will be answered as Arty learns more about his situation and the world around him. I'm trying my best to avoid answering plot based questions lest I accidentally spoil something.
Stay tuned for more!
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Incoming Crossover Tag??? Nah probably not...
Probably...
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s3media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/457/620/4620457.jpg
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I'm just joking lol good story and work btw
Shadow: You will find her. You're full of Determination.
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I'm glad someone picked up on that.
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A 3d printer, a CNC machine, and what all else....hmmm....guns. Nukes, mentioned in the comments, aren't a truly useful weapon. They're a deterrent.
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They're also actually really difficult to build, not so much for the engineering (conceptually, pure fission devices are very simple) but because they require really exotic materials that don't really exist outside of a laboratory, even if they are one of the best things we ever invented.
It's more the server racks I'm interested in. Ostensibly, they just grabbed a bunch of whatever: Maybe the journey is tough on devices and they grabbed a lot in the hopes that enough components survive that a working one can be cobbled together. But what if they actually need that kind of distributed processing power? Is it all for local use, or is there some kind of network entity they're in contact with?
Part of the draw of this story is the great deal of mystery. As I noted in the last chapter, we're thrust into this mystery, but any questions we have are tempered or moved onto the back burner because we are almost immediately confronted with a clearly identified antagonist, who we can see poses a real and immediate threat. It's not clear, however, how they pose a threat, or to whom. To Arty, sure, and possibly/probably to Beth as well, but with all the stuff they have and the lengths they're going to for their "project," it's clear they pose a threat to someone much more important as well. We are, of course, meant to believe that it's Celestia and/or Luna, and maybe it is, but it could be Twilight Sparkle as well, or God only knows who else. We don't know, but we have to know.
We'll see how it plays out.
Excuse me if I am mistaken, but why would they take the chance that he won't call for help? Probably for his sister? Tbh the authorities could help with that given time but meh
For what I can gather those two ponies, are desperate for Arty to fix all the equipment if they are willing to supply him the tools to repair and have access to some resources but don’t have any personnel to watch over then and don’t have any expertise in how to fix any of it and obviously don’t want to let anyone know. So, I would say they are mostly acting alone. I am guessing that they somehow had no choice but to settle in the area of Ponyville and the damaged lab right under the castle under the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters seem awfully suspicions to me if they aren’t the ones how gathered all the stuff there in the first place and don’t seem to have a clue all of this it is. I don’t think Arty will be in a position to realize why they are making him work like this by them if he is constantly kept under pressure by the two of them for the sake of his sister.
Still, I am getting the feeling that there is more to this then the just the obvious of what is happening. I wonder what happened to his twin sister if she had arrived there over ten years ago, she must have drastically changed sense then or is a couplet wreck by the sound of things. I am guessing there are fraternal twins and don’t look anything alike from each other. Asking for a picture of his sister as he wouldn’t recognize her anyway, being a pony and all. Still I wonder what she had been doing for the in all this time especially if she also started out as foal in Equestria which mean she would look a great deal older the Arty does, unless she arrived as a yearling.
I am guessing that the mare is going to use Arty’s foal indicts to her full advantage in trying to get him to bond with her if only to make it easier to manipulate him into doing what she wants her to. I wonder if they will try to force him into a sudo family dynamic , by forcing arty to spend time with them like meals and such? It would be easier for Arty to succumb to Stockholm’s syndrome if he has no one else to turn to.
The fact that he is already seen as an attention seeking or sick by other ponies in the area won’t help his case but I don’t think Arty would give up on seeking help as discreetly as possible with some one that could potentially help. If he is persuasive enough, which I don’t think he isn’t, he might convince some of the foals of what he is or maybe convince their parents to look into how they treat Arty at home by the local police.
I wonder his Arty is going to be irritated having to deal with foals in the Ponyville School with how. Still, I am expecting his so call ‘parents’ to drill him on his cover and be at least grounded on a few facts about equestrian, because he is going to hit a wall very hard when it comes to history, and geography, not to mention all the ponyzisms papering their speech.
What would be important would be to show that there are consequences for defying is caretakers rules? I would guess normal punishment would work along with dangling his sister faith at him too, to make him not take any risk and just comply, for her.
Still form the lock of things Arty could easily built something to trap those to long enough to get information out of them, especially sense they don’t seem to have any clue what haft the stuff can do. He can build something right under their muzzles and they would be the wiser.
I will be looking very much forward to the next chapter.
"lay"
"lie" just doesn't sound right to me in that place.
This this case, I feel "thought" should be treated as a dialog tag, making that period a comma.
"me"
"it"
Word repetition with "removed" and there is an "L" before that "I".
"I"
School would give him a chance to get word out that everything is not alright. It is a huge hole for information to leak out from.
No one is looking at this from the right point of view. Captors should be trying to lock shit down as much as possible. Have an actual credible threat with a live sister. Arty should be looking for ways to rescue his sister (if she turns out to be real) and killing these two assholes and their support.
Alacrity seems like too happy a word for the present situation.
Oooo, expensive hard wood. That must have been a pain to get.
Capitalize "but" since there is a period right before it, or add it to the previous sentence.
I like how ripping someone's family apart is "mutually beneficial".
"Up for eight" seems like a strange way to word things. Is it a So Cal colloquialism like adding "the" in front of proper nouns?
Should be planning how to lower Maple and Adagio's guard so he can burn the house down with them in it.
One issue; Luna. How will Luna be kept from getting wind of all this through dreams? Equestrian surveillance is actually kinda scary in canon.
Well then he shouldn't be hungry.
Great chapter btw. I'll bet that it was his sister that trashed the place after she found out what she was building. Arty seems smart enough to put in a failsafe on the build.
8246936
Thanks for pointing out those errors to me. I have gone through and fixed most of them already.
I honestly had no idea that alacrity had a happy connotation associated with it. It does make a little sense I suppose; learn something new every day.
I would just like to point out that all of this drama has taken place over one long and exhausting day. The captors know enough about Arty to know that he wouldn't risk doing anything that would give them reason to harm his sister. There's also the fact that Arty isn't an action hero; he really doesn't know how to fight and he certainly is not what I would consider brave at this point. He's afraid, and he's never really had to partake in physical violence before.
I'm not really sure on this one. I live in Western New York and people around me talk like this. Could be a local thing, but I honestly have no idea. We have a lot of weird phrases and names for things.
Don't worry I have plans for this one.
Thanks for the feedback, no matter how many times I read though my work I always miss something. The help is appreciated.
8247077
Heh that's a funny little error. Thanks for pointing it out!
8247282
Probably should have reloaded the page before I started reading, had it open for a day and a half.
So that indicates they have been able to observe him whilst he was still human. That is a little disconcerting.
Alright, I live in Northern California and reading that Arty is was Southern California had me looking for little speech patterns and phrases.
Keep up the good work, it is nice seeing an author improve and refine their craft.
Alright. You show some promise kid. It's see where you take this. also with as much anime I've watched the whole "I'm too weak to protect the ones I love" shit gets old fast. so play with it for now but don't make it a long lasting thing. Or don't listen to what I have to say I'm just some person online at 2 in the morning
8262473
They can, pretty much just like us. OK, less so, but humans are kinda extreme in what we can eat, compared to most of the animal kingdom. Hell, if they are hungry they are known to eat birds and such.
It's even funnier when canines are mentioned. Horses' ones are bigger and meaner than ours!
Are they really this fucking retarded? That kid could make a fucking gun out of paper, then blow their damned heads off if he wanted to! Solve all your problems today, with Equestria's first paper gun!
or you could forge a goddamned chainsword
Well, this took a weird turn.
1. Arty, you're dumb. Never accept a foal-napper's word that their victim is alive without proof. A mass-produced necklace isn't proof of life.
2. They smacked him in the head repeatedly until he was knocked unconscious for several hours, but will be sending him to school bright and early on the morrow, with all the bruises that would entail? Cheerilie would take one look at him, and then she would be breaking down their door to fuck some shit up, purple-coated Incredible Hulk style. Foal abuse would bring out all the mama bears in that mare.
the nobel pize is just a filthy joke they even give the peace price to mass murderers and war criminals
in a situation like that i whould either just bail and tell the town what they are doing to me to make it more convincing i whold inflict wounds on myself,evaluate my cards and wha i can do with the situation or suicide or atleast a very convincing attempt at it
While at school he should expose them for what they have done
8243537
Arty doesn't have the personality to do something like that. He might consider it in desperation, but with the current unknowns, he can't take the risk.
8243571
Easy. They wouldn't know how. This is earth tech, and he is the only one with the know how to repair it.
8244289
Yes, it'd be for his sister's sake. And its already been made apparent that no one would believe him. Remember how the medical staff treated his story: that of an child's that sounds outlandish. Would you take a kid seriously if he said there were aliens?
8392544
Can't say much on 2, but on 1: How would they know about the pendant in the first place if they didn't have her or had observed her at some point? Hard for that to be a coincidence since they chose him specifically.
8450615
None of it would work. First, too much risk for his sister. Same thing when kidnappers make a ransom: they tell them 'don't call the police' for a reason. Second, its been established that they'll just treat him like a kid. Anything there will just be seen as attention getting behavior.
8451955
He can't. They'd go straight for his sister. It would be easy to set something up where they need to check in to keep her alive. Arty can't be sure of that, so he has no choice.
Well, that just took a turn for the absolutely bizarre in this story. So much for the common 'guy gets transported to Equestria through hijinx', it's pretty clear that he was summoned, and in a way that certainly throws off a lot of whiplash. There's too many questions that this chapter brings up, and it feels like none of the three characters in this chapter really seem to possess a lick of common sense. If they had, the plot would be moving a lot different and it wouldn't feel quite so shoehorned.
Simple logical question, if she is not alive, then he has no reason to work. If they end her for him not working, then he has no reason to work. He has no reason to work until he has proof.