Luna took a sip of beer and smacked her lips. “We should form a club.”
“We should?” asked Sunset and Trixie simultaneously.
“Indeed! Trixie tells me she comes to Ponyville very often these days. We could make our visitations to this bar an official weekly event!”
“Err…” Trixie looked at Sunset with narrowed eyes. “I'm not sure. Simply because I’m not mad at Sunset anymore doesn’t mean I want to be her friend.”
“I understand.” Sunset smiled. “It’s a lot to have to put behind you.”
Luna sighed. “True enough. Sunset’s bullying was very much unacceptable. Especially since I gather that she singled out you, specifically.”
Sunset blushed. “I was a very emotionally insecure filly with severe anger issues and Trixie just happened to have the single most bullyable face in history.”
“Sunset! Do you truly wish to aggravate her after all your efforts to settle your differences?”
“Eh,” said Trixie evenly, “I get it, actually. I burned those glasses long ago. Trixie wears contacts now, her acne’s completely cleared up, and her gorgeous mane is the envy of mares everywhere!”
Bemused, Luna took a closer look at the photograph in the yearbook.
“Eugh!” She winced. “I concur. I hate bullying in all its forms, but your childhood countenance fills me with the urge to stuff a locker with it.”
“Why do you want us to form a club, anyway?” said Sunset. “There’s nothing wrong with just meeting up in Ponyville and having drinks.”
“I like clubs.” Luna pouted. “Celestia and I used to have one when we were younger, but we no longer fraternize as much as we used to. And I have read so much about secret clubs. We could have a secret hoofbump, or badges! And most importantly, our club could have a name!”
“THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE AND HER DRINKING BUDDIES!” declared Trixie. “I like the sound of that!”
Sunset and Luna slowly turned to her, clearly unamused.
“Oh fine, I’ll give you two equal billing.” Suddenly, her face fell and her ears drooped. “Well, uh… if we really end up being friends, t-there’s something you really need to know about me first.”
The other two gave her curious looks.
Trixe scratched her head nervously, eyes downcast. “I didn’t mention this before, but there was one time that I might have used an evil artifact and tried to enslave Ponyville.” She sighed. “I’m very sorry I did it, but I can understand if you don’t want to be friends with a pony with a past like that.”
Luna coughed. “I think everypony is well aware that I tried to overthrow my sister, conquer all of Equestria, and plunge it into eternal darkness. I would hardly be one to judge you, Trixie.”
“And I committed treason. Twice!” Sunset chuckled. “Once when I was just a foal, and the second time, I stole Twilight’s crown, turned into a demon, and tried to take over Equestria.”
Trixie stared at her incredulously. “…Why does Trixie suddenly feel like such an underachiever?”
“Oh!” Luna suddenly sat up. “I have it! We are a diverse group of ponies who have all once been seduced by dark magic! We should call ourselves… The Ensemble of Dark Horses!”
Sunset blinked. “I was going to say that sounds a little like a cheesy supervillain organization, but strangely, that somehow feels… metafictionally appropriate?”
“Uh, just a moment,” said Trixie. “Sunset turned into a demon and tried to take over Equestria? How did I never hear about that?”
“Oooh. It’s a little complicated.” Sunset tried to take another sip of cider, only to find her mug almost empty. She finished it and sighed. “I kind of used a magic mirror to flee to another dimension where I plotted to use the Element of Magic to turn a school full of sentient teenage apes into a mind-controlled army.”
“You’re joking.”
“Nope! Totally serious. I got crazy jealous of Twilight, stole her crown, and tried to use it to conquer Equestria just to prove that I was better than her,” said Sunset. “And then she kicked my flank six ways till Sunday, promptly forgave me, and now she lets me stay over at her castle whenever I want to visit Equestria.”
Trixie went quiet.
“…You were jealous of Twilight and went crazy trying to prove you were better than her?”
Sunset nodded. “It’s a long story. I have a lot of childhood issues.”
Trixie suddenly smiled and turned to the bar. “Cherry! Bring my new friend here another mug of cider!”
Cherry filled another mug from the tap and brought it over. Sunset took it gratefully, but turned back to Trixie with a curious look.
“What was that all about?”
“Just shut up and drink, Shimmer.”
“Very good!” said Luna, grinning madly. She raised her glass. “TO THE ENSEMBLE OF DARK HORSES!”
Trixie groaned and rolled her eyes. “You can call us that if you like, but please don’t ever shout it in public again.”
Well at least two of you Trixie have darker coats and manes. You kinda are dark horses.
Kinda hoping the elements show up at some point thinking they are trying to put a stop to a villainous organization.
Why can I only give this one thumbs up
But keep the chapters coming, you have best princess, bacon Waifu and silly magician antics to transcribe from you brain box so I can laugh my flank off
8207081
There was that one SpongeBob episode with that exact plot.
It would be pretty funny.
And the crazy train continues. Alas for the finite number of upvotes!
i love this, though my one question is... is the exile Trixie or Sunset? i mean, they both kinda fit the magician role pretty evenly as well as the exile, so which is which? are they both the exile and the magician? does this question even matter? am i weird and dumb for wondering which pastel cartoon horse better fills which role while reading about three random schmucks getting drunk in a small bar? so many questions, so few answers... oh yeah, btw, i like the emotional whiplash. that is all.
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The obvious answer is that Sunset is the exile (having actually left Equestria) and Trixie is the magician (that being her actual profession), but I'm fine with your interpretation!
8207081
I feel like AJ would probably choose to not vanquish someone while they're drinking Sweet Apple Acres cider.
“…Why does Trixie suddenly feel like such an underachiever?”
Hey, you're still young, and have access to a couple of amazing teachers. You can still destroy the world before you hit middle-age, Trixie.
Trixie's reactions make me giggle... Very good.
...I know a Troper when I see one.
This story is funny and adorable, par for the course. I love your characterizations.
8207288
That would be an amazing way to beat the mane six. Constantly sip cider while performing acts of evil. If you really want to be safe always carry a 1st edition daring do with you as well.
8207759 That stops three out of six. If you really wanna get away with it, you gotta drink cider, carry everywhere: a 1st-edition Daring Doo book, a bunny rabbit and a cupcake, all while wearing a fabulous dress.
You might look like a total buffoon, but that's no Elements of Harmony to zap ya.
Did you even know what it did, Trixie? You know, basically possess you and make you super-mean and bossy and stuff? Or did you just think 'Oh lookie here - I can get more power to defeat that dastardly Twilight! There's no way there'll be any side-effects, certainly not!'.
There's a difference between knowing it would make you evil, and being a victim of the object you're using - for example, see how Ginevra Weasley didn't know what Tom Riddle's Diary was, and what said Diary ended up making her do in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, or the Sword of the Brave in Bravely Second - ended up damning Denys Geneolgia, as his much younger brother did not know his wish to the blade would result in such catastrophe; all the younger Geneolgia knew was that 'this sword is powerful'.
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8207759
Someone really needs to write this story.
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Twilight would try to rescue the book, Fluttershy would try to rescue the bunny, and Rarity would try to improve the dress.
Then again, Rainbow would probably try to rescue the cider, so my original plan had problems too
8208046 You'd keep them hostage, and be like "MEET MY DEMANDS OR I GET THE BUNNY DRUNK AND IT WEARS A DRESS"
8207910 Well there's a problem with your theory, which is that it's binary. Either Trixie was 100% ignorant about it being an Evil Artifact, or she was 0% ignorant about it being an Evil Artifact.
What I mean is, Trixie probably figured it was NOT a good artifact, but hardly one that would steal her free will and turn her into a wicked, cruel, and even evil mare. She might think she'd have her throne thing pulled by some servants, but not FOALS, and certainly NOT without WHEELS. To me this seems a lot more likely, considering she was quick to actually apologize and such.
8208308 ...Huh. You raise a good point, there.
Please let me rephrase my earlier comment: Depending on how much Trixie knew about the Alicorn Amulet, she could be considered guilty, or a victim.
If she knew it would turn her evil, she's guilty.
If she did not know it would turn her evil, and thus thought 'hey, power boost', she's a victim.
If she knew there were some side-effects, it depends on how well she actually studied the Amulet - if she did only a little study, and thus thought it would lead to 'grandeur' and 'a few neat rewards', she's likely a victim (it got way out of han...er, hoof, if this is all she knew about the Amulet). If she did serious study, and thus knew about the mind-altering effects, but not the whole 'robbing of free will' and 'enslave foals' elements (i.e. she knew it was bad, but not 'turn her evil'), she could be considered guilty.
Hopefully that's a better way to view it; considering Trixie did indeed apologise at the end of the episode (I haven't watched the show in some time), it seems she was, at least to some extent, a victim.
Sunset Shimmer is best Gorilla Grodd.
8206902 Eh, sorta-kinda... but whiskey doesn't have hops in it, so *insert shrug emoticon here* I dunno!
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8208675
I didn't want to get into this because it's frankly all headcanon (which can vary a lot between people) but there's also the consideration that maybe the alicorn amulet doesn't quite mind-control its user into evil so much as exaggerate their anger and reduce their inhibitions. If this is the case, Trixie is partially responsible, but with diminished guilt (kind of like getting drunk).
Note that Trixie focused the bulk of her anger on Snips and Snails, who dragged the Ursa Major into Ponyville and hence set up her humiliation, and Twilight herself, who indirectly humiliated her (Trixie of course had no way of knowing that throughout Boast Busters, Twilight was the one who was the nicest towards her). The other main 6 suffered much less, because she was likely angry at them for trying to humiliate her on stage, even if they failed. Her vengeance wasn't quite indiscriminate.
It also should be noted that canonically, Trixie feels guilty about the incident (evidenced at the end of Magic Duel and her entire tour in No Second Prances, though by season 7 she seems to have gotten over it, being the resilient mare she is).
In any case, it's not so important for the purpose of this story, because in it Trixie isn't concerned about the moral implications so much as the legitimate worry about her prospective friends finding out about her past later on and rejecting her out of hand - so the important thing at that point was how other ponies perceive her actions.
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I am with Sporktacles on this one. Someone desperately needs to fic this...
8209467 Beer is just super gross. I'd rather take something either "Candy/Fruity" flavored, or some midshelf Vodka over rocks >=)
8210790
Pffff! Haaawhahahaha! Oh gods, I wish.
Anyway, I just meant inasmuch as they're both made from a fermented mash of malted grains. I wouldn't denigrate the blessed uisce beatha by saying it actually tastes like beer.
Me, in elementary school. There were several younger kids that were just so annoying and so easy to terrorize, and I treated them like shit. I'm not proud, but it's true. There's some kids whose stupid faces and stupid voices just fill the aggressive jerks with rage. I can totally see little Trixie being one of them.
This is shaping up to be a clever, funny, informal exploration of some of the most emotionally damaged ponies on the show. I'm gonna read the whole thing.
Somepony's been browsing TV Tropes!
The fellowship of the meme
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"And I mean ice!" -Eddie Valiant