RariJack
>Updating case file 56<
>Resuming observation<
The day was going pretty much as Twilight expected, which amounted to sorting through the dozen or so books she had decided to read that day and when that was done turned her attention to a recent book shipment. Twilight was happily sorting them, humming a tune to herself, when she heard a knock at the door.
“It’s open,” Twilight called. The door opened and Twilight looked to see Elusive walk in followed by Butterscotch. “Hi guys, how can I help you?” she asked. Elusive turned to Butterscotch and whispered something to him. Butterscotch nodded shyly and Elusive turned back to Twilight.
“Are you busy today darling? We can come back later if you are.” Twilight shook her head and checked the books she was sorting.
“No, I just need to finish sorting this shipment and I’ll be free for the rest of the day. Did you have something in mind?” Twilight levitated a book in front of her and studied the cover, “Oh, Blitz’s book came in. I’ll have to remember to tell him later.”
“Well, I was wondering if you would join me and Butterscotch for our weekly spa visit. I tried asking the others, but Applejack said she didn't want to go and Rainbow is helping Pinkie with making cupcakes or something.”
“So that’s where he went. I’d love to join you two, just give me a few minutes to finish up.” Elusive nodded and Twilight checked the books she had already double checked in order to triple check them to make sure they were all there.
“Um, what do you think Pinkie and Rainbow Blitz are doing?” Butterscotch asked Elusive.
“I can only guess with those two.”
“Oh no, all of the eggs have been stolen by some fiend!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed dramatically as she looked at the ingredients on the counter, “Who could I count on to help me get them back?” Just then a pony dressed in a skintight purple uniform with a matching mask, hat, and cape flew through the kitchen door and landed on the counter. “Mare-Do-Well, you heard my cry for help!”
Mare-Do-Well nodded and dramatically reached a hoof under the cape and pulled out a carton of eggs and handed it over to Pinkie.
“Hooray, you rescued my eggs from the evil clutches of Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake, along with their vicious attack gator!” Pinkie said pointing a hoof across the room where the infants were paying no mind to what Pinkie was doing, instead opting to play with Gummy who reacted with his usual stone-faced attitude. “How can I repay you?” Mare-Do-Well started cracking up and hopped off the counter.
“This is too much fun Pinkie,” Blitz said and pulled off the mask he was wearing, “I’m so glad you kept this costume.”
“I know right? Sometimes I like to wear it and pretend to fight supervillians.”
“I wonder if Elusive can make me this hat?” Blitz asked.
“Ok, I think we’ve spent enough time admiring the costume, NOW LET’S MAKE SOME CUPCAKES!”
“Yeah!”
“You’re going to have to take that off for this!”
“Aw.”
Twilight finished sorting the books and the group was now making their way to the spa.
“I’m so glad you are coming with us Twilight, it has been way too long since we have been able to do something like this together,” Elusive said.
“I have to agree, we’ve been really busy lately,” Twilight said, “what was that about Applejack being sick?”
“I only heard it second hoof from Red Gala, but I think Applejack is just trying to avoid me.”
“Really, what makes you think that?”
“Please Twilight, I’ve spent most of my life learning how to read a mare’s thoughts and I know Applejack’s more than a little uncomfortable at the prospect of doing something with me,” Elusive said as they were now passing through the market and Twilight started to see what Elusive was saying.
“Elusive, are you…interested in Applejack?” she asked carefully.
“That’s a rather direct way of putting it, but I guess that’s the case. Why, is it really that strange?”
“Um, a little bit. It just doesn’t seem like you’d be into mares like Applejack.”
“I can’t really explain it, it’s just kind of there. I would never have guessed you would fall for somepony like Blitz, but look how wrong I turned out on that.” Twilight had to give him that, but before she could continue the conversation she noticed a familiar unicorn manning a stall.
“Trixter? What are you doing here?” Trixter looked over at the group and waved.
“Hi Miss Sparkle, I’m just watching this stand until the owner gets back,” he said and sighed sadly, “I wish I hadn’t blown up my caravan. Anyway what are you doing?”
“I’m doing alright, I’m going to the spa with my friends,” Twilight replied happily.
“No coltfriend?” Twilight shook her head.
“He doesn’t like that kind of stuff.”
“Ha, I’m not surprised in the least.” Trixter gave a small haughty laugh before turning to Elusive, “And have you given further thought to what we discussed?”
“I have and I may have something for you to do,” Elusive said and gave a small devious smile, “but I’m sure you won’t like it.”
“I don’t care, I’ll take any job if it can replace this one. That unicorn over there has been staring at me for 10 minutes and it’s starting to creep me out.” Elusive pointed over at a blue unicorn who was now walking over to them. “Can I help you?” Trixter asked.
“Yes, I have heard that you are an expert on micro and megastrobilus, and as such I require your help with its culinary preparation,” he said completely serious. The assembled gave him a look.
“I don’t speak whatever language you just spoke, can you translate that into Equestrian?” Trixter said.
“Oh fine, I’ll do my best to do that.” He cleared his throat and levitated a pinecone into view, “I want you to eat this pinecone.”
“What no!”
“Eat the pinecone,” he said more forcefully.
“I thought that rumor died months ago!”
“EAT THE PINECONE!”
“NO!” Trixter yelled and ran away, the unicorn following closely.
“Oh, I hope he doesn’t yell at the grass again,” Butterscotch whispered. Elusive and Twilight looked at him curiously, but didn’t ask any questions.
“Let’s hurry to the spa, it’s almost time for our appointment,” Elusive said and led the group on.
“Hey Pinkie, is this dough done yet?” Blitz asked in regards to the blob of dough in front of him. Pinkie walked over and inspected it.
“Yep, that’s dough alright. Why did you make it though? We’re making cupcakes, not bread.”
“Oh,” Blitz said and sunk down depressed.
“Oh but I can still use it! I mean, you can never have enough bread,” Pinkie said to try and cheer Blitz up.
“Awesome! I knew I was doing something right!” Blitz said immediately snapping back into excited mode, “So is it done?” Pinkie looked at the dough again.
“Not yet, we still need to FLATTEN IT!” Pinkie pulled out a massive hammer and slammed it onto the dough at the last part, startling Blitz.
“Jeez Pinkie, careful with that! You could hurt somepony.”
“Really? Like who?”
“… Me, for instance. I mean, what do you think would happen if you hit me on the head with that?” The two of them stared at each other for a moment, Pinkie still holding that hammer close to her.
“You’ve been reading too many horror stories, haven’t you Blitz?” Pinkie asked. Blitz looked away, not wanting to say she was right. “You want to hit the dough for a while?” she asked and offered the hammer to Blitz. He stared at it for a second before answering.
“Do I EVER!”
When the group arrived at the spa, Elusive went ahead to set up the day’s activities with the spa ponies. When that was done, the brother-sister pair led them in for their treatment. The three put on some of the spa’s robes and were lying down on some couches.
“This is heavenly, it’s been way too long since I’ve been able to relax like this,” Elusive said. The male spa pony, Pelo, walked over and started filing Elusive’s horn.
“I have to agree Elusive, it has been a while since we’ve been able to hang out,” Twilight said. Lotus, the other spa pony, walked up to Twilight with a file in her mouth. “Oh no thanks, I’m alright.” Lotus nodded and walked away.
“Oh yes, we’ve all been so busy lately,” Butterscotch quietly agreed. He let out a soft ‘eep’ when Lotus poked him lightly.
“Hey Elusive, would it be alright if we continued talking about that thing?” Twilight asked.
“Of course, these two are good at keeping secrets,” Elusive said with a hoof motion to the twins.
“Ok, I just wanted to make sure. How exactly were you planning to ask Applejack out?”
“That’s a matter of debate. I was hoping to talk with her about it, but that didn’t fall through.”
“And what were you planning to do on this date?” Lotus managed to sneak up on Twilight and started massaging her back, which caused Twilight to let out a sigh and relaxed into the bed.
“Well, I was planning a spa visit like this one followed by a nice dinner, but that’s a little too much for a first date don’t you think?”
“Mhmm. A little higher please,” Twilight mumbled and Lotus complied.
‘Well she’s gone,’ Elusive thought with a sigh and turned to Butterscotch. “What do you think?”
“Oh well, I really wouldn’t know. I haven’t really gone on a date with Pinkie yet,” Butterscotch said trailing off a little at the end.
“What, you two haven’t gone on a date yet?” Butterscotch nodded, “Huh, I would have expected you two to have gone on at least one date, especially considering how… affectionate Pinkie can be.”
“Oh um…” Butterscotch couldn’t even finish the sentence before he blushed heavily and looked away.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course. I think its adorable how she nuzzles up against you.” Elusive’s attempt to help ease Butterscotch didn’t help at all since the pegasus’ blush deepened further. “Actually, this gives me a great idea! What if I invited Applejack on a double date with you and Pinkie?” Pelo started working on Elusive’s forelegs as Butterscotch started thinking.
“Well, if Pinkie and Applejack are ok with it and it’s not too much trouble,” Butterscotch finally said.
“Oh it’s no trouble at all dear,” Elusive said waving his free foreleg and turned to Twilight, “What about you Twilight? Would you and Rainbow be interested in-“
“OH RIGHT THERE!” Twilight screamed as Lotus pressed a particularly sensitive point on her back. Lotus continued the massage as one of Twilight’s hind legs kicked out behind her. “You have got to teach Blitz how to do this.”
“I never thought I would say this sister, but I think you’re doing too well,” Pelo said to his sister. Elusive and Butterscotch were stuck in an awkward silence before Elusive tried to break it.
“Speaking of which, how do you think Blitz and Pinkie are doing?”
Blitz carefully placed the hot pan with a loaf of bread on it onto the counter. With that done he set the heat pads he was using next to it and inspected the bread.
“That’s actually looking pretty good. I wonder what the others would think?” Rainbow looked around the kitchen and found he was alone with Gummy, who was just staring at him. “Hey Gummy, you wouldn’t happen to know where Pinkie went would you?” he asked, only to be slightly disappointed at Gummy’s response of blinking at him. “Oh fine, be that way. I’ll just go find her.”
“AAAAAAAAH!” Blitz turned to the door to find Pinkie stumbling in with something covering her face. She fell onto the floor and appeared to be struggling against what was on her face. “Blitz help me, this thing is suffocating me!” she yelled and tried to fight off her attacker.
“Pinkie, that’s a piece of carpet,” Blitz said flatly.
“Get it off me!” Blitz huffed a little before complying and simply knocking the carpet off Pinkie. She took a deep breath and scooted back against a counter. “Thanks, now it’s my turn,” she said and pounced on the carpet and started struggling with it again. “Quick, open the window!” she yelled. Rainbow did as he was told and Pinkie slowly walked over to the window and threw the carpet out.
“Now stay outside with your horrible brethren the grass!” she screamed at the carpet and shut the window. She took a deep breath and turned to Blitz, “Thanks for the help.”
“No problem. Is that bread alright?” he asked and motioned to the loaf behind him.
“Yep, now let’s get back to THOSE CUPCAKES!”
Gummy watched the whole thing with his usual deadpan expression.
Usually, Sweet Apple Acres wasn’t the kind of place that would completely stop for one event, unless it was a disaster coming in. Today was an exception.
“The headless get Winona!” Applebloom said as she was play fighting with Winona, who was skillfully running around her and letting off a small bark every now and then. It was honestly a one sided battle since Applebloom had a blanket over her head in order to properly role play. At least she was tenacious since she got right back up whenever Winona knocked her down.
“This might just be the most adorable thing ever,” Applejack said to Red Gala, who replied with her usual ‘Eeyup.’
“There it is!” Applejack and Red Gala looked to find Scooterroll charging at Applebloom wearing some form of white paper armor wielding a paper sword with Sweetie Belle following. Scooterroll started hitting Applebloom with the sword, which soon caused Applebloom to fall over and she found herself assaulted with licks from Winona.
“Ok ok, I give!” Applebloom said and tried to push Winona off while laughing.
“Forget what ah said, now it’s the most adorable thing ever,” Applejack said.
“Eeyup,” Red Gala agreed, “You’re still going into town.”
“Oh come on, why?!”
“You’ve spent the last few days hiding in the house. That is not healthy.” Red Gala then put a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder and effortlessly spun her around and pushed her to the gates. “Yer gonna go spend time with your friends today. Ya can come back after you’re done.”
“Ya don’t have to push me Gala!” Thankfully Red Gala stopped pushing Applejack when they reached the gates.
“Honestly, ah’m a little worried about you Applejack. Ya been like this since yer date with that magician.”
“It wasn’t a date!”
“Ah course it wasn’t. Look, just go enjoy yourself and clear your head, ah can handle the farm for the day.”
“All by yourself?”
“Caramel will come by later, if it makes you better. Now get going.”
Applejack sighed and started walking toward Ponyville. She passed by Caramel along the way and waved at him. It wasn’t even a few feet later that a bush rustled next to her.
“Is anyone there?” she asked. She was a little surprised when Trixter stuck his head out of the bush. “Trixter?”
“Is the coast clear?” he asked and looked around, “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“Why were you hiding in a bush?” Applejack asked as Trixter got out of the bush.
“There’s this crazy unicorn who has been following me all day. It’s got me a little on edge. What are you doing?”
“Ah’m just going to spend some time with my friends in town. What about you?”
“I’m still working. Caravan’s cost a lot of money, and that’s not even taking food and hotel expenses into account.” Trixter sighed at that and looked at Applejack, “Hey, I’m sorry to spring this on you, but are you going to be busy for the next couple of days?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Why?”
“Well, if you weren’t doing anything in the next few days, maybe we could do something?”
“W-what?”
“It’s just a thought. Let me know if you are free ok?” Applejack would have answered but she and Trixter got distracted when a pinecone levitated between them.
“Pinecone…” Trixter had the proper response of screaming and running away, with a unicorn jumping out of the bush and gave chase with the pinecone in tow. Applejack stared in confusion before shrugging it off and continuing her walk.
“Happy happy, joy joy, happy happy, joy joy!”
Rainbow and Pinkie had been jumping around in a circle waiting for this batch of cupcakes to bake and chanting whatever strange incantation Pinkie had come up with.
Gummy stared on with little care.
After about the fifth time they did this, there was a ringing at the front counter and they both stopped.
“A CUSTOMER!” Pinkie yelled and shot out the door to the counter. She got to the counter and was incredibly happy to find Butterscotch. “Hi Scotchie, fancy seeing you here,” Pinkie said and disappeared under the counter.
“Uh, Pinkie,” Butterscotch started and leaned over the counter.
“So what brings you here?” Butterscotch jumped a little and looked at Pinkie who had somehow gotten next to him. “Did you come to help me make cupcakes, or maybe you just wanted to see me? Aw, that’s so sweet of you!” Pinkie nuzzled against Butterscotch and smiled at him.
“Oh um, thanks but I wanted to ask you something.” Pinkie tilted her head and kept on smiling. “Elusive wanted to know if you were free later.”
“Why?”
“Um, he wanted us to go on a double date with him and Applejack.”
“Neato! I didn’t know Elusive and Applejack were a couple.”
“What was that now?” Rainbow asked peeking out of the kitchen.
“Well, they aren’t yet. This would be their first date.”
“Who’s first date?”
“I need to check something real quick,” Pinkie said and turned to Blitz, “How are we doing on those cupcakes sergeant?” she yelled.
“We just finished the fourth, fifth, and sixth batches Ma’am and the next three are in the oven!” he said with a salute.
“Give me a couple more hours, we have a lot of baking to do,” Pinkie said to Butterscotch with a smile.
“How many cupcakes do we have to make anyway?” Blitz asked.
“150.”
“What?! Is that individual cupcakes or batches?”
“Just the cupcakes.” Rainbow stared at Pinkie in shock.
“This is an order right? Who would be insane enough to order that many cupcakes?”
“I don’t know,” she said shrugging and turned to Butterscotch. “If you want, you can help us make these cupcakes.”
“Um, let me go tell Elusive what we’re going to do and I’ll be back,” Butterscotch said.
“Alright, see you then!” Pinkie said and nuzzled against Butterscotch. Butterscotch jolted a little but calmed down and nuzzled Pinkie back. They pulled away and Butterscotch walked out of the bakery waving at Pinkie.
“I have to ask, is that what ponies see when I’m out with Twilight?” Rainbow asked.
“Oh no,” Pinkie said and walked past Rainbow, “you two are much worse.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Elusive waved at Twilight as she closed the library door, her face still blushing furiously from the spa visit. If anything Elusive was glad that Twilight at least enjoyed herself. With the escort done, Elusive started trotting toward Sweet Apple Acres for maybe the third time that week when Butterscotch came up to him.
“Hi Elusive,” he said quietly.
“Hello Butterscotch, what brings you here?” Elusive asked.
“I um, talked to Pinkie and she said she would be free later today.”
“That’s wonderful news, when will she be free?” They didn’t notice Applejack walking to them.
“Oh crabapples,” she whispered and continued walking. ‘Don’t look at him, don’t acknowledge him.’
“I um… don’t know. She’s really busy at the bakery,” Butterscotch said.
“Busy? How so?” Elusive asked and turned to Applejack, “Hi Applejack.”
“Dangit!”
“She has a lot of cupcakes to make. Rainbow Blitz is helping her, but there’s still a lot to bake.”
“How many?” Applejack asked.
“150.”
“What?! What kind of pony would order that many cupcakes?” Elusive asked.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Trixter yelled and ran past the group.
“PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINECOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!” The three ponies watched the two unicorns ran toward town.
“…Was that the unicorn from earlier?” Elusive asked.
“Oh my,” Butterscotch whispered and sank down a little.
“Would either of ya mind telling me what just happened?” Applejack asked.
“There’s no time for that darling, Pinkie Pie needs our help right now.” Elusive started walking to town with Butterscotch and Applejack following behind.
“Um, Applejack?”
“Yeah Butterscotch?”
“I’m really looking forward to later.” Applejack gave him a confused look and sighed.
‘Ah forget it, I’ll worry about it later.’
“Thanks for your business Harpsy. How’s Bon-Bon doing?” Pinkie asked.
“She’s doing fine,” Harpsy said and picked up the bag with a hoof and gave it to Tootsie, who took it in her mouth.
“Fhank you Daddy,” she said through the bag.
“You’re welcome Sweetie, but remember to save one for mommy.”
“Aw, that’s so cute,” Pinkie said looking down at Tootsie, “I wonder what it’s like to be a parent.”
“It’s not easy,” Harpsy said and got down so Tootsie could climb on his back, “But it’s totally worth it.” Rainbow Blitz walked out of the kitchen, set a cupcake box next to the growing pile, and started back to the kitchen. “Hi Rainbow Blitz.”
“Hey,” Rainbow said back and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Well, we better get going. Say bye to Pinkie Pie Sweetie.”
“Bye Pinkie Pie!” Tootsie said waving.
“Bye Tootsie Flute, I hope to see you soon,” Pinkie said waving back. Harpsy reached the door just as Trixter ran inside breathing heavily.
“Are you ok?” Harpsy asked him as Tootsie peeked over his head.
“Unicor… chase… pinecone! Whooo…”
“Oook, good luck with that,” Harpsy walked past Trixter and out of the store. Trixter looked up and nearly jumped at a smiling pink pony.
“Hi magician pony who’s name I forget, how are you doing?” she asked.
“I-I’m just fine. I just need a place to lay low for a while, and if you needed me to work a little that would be good too,” Trixter said.
“Funny you should mention that, we might need some help. Although it depends on how much you want to be paid.”
“Anything is fine.”
“Then yes, we could use your help! Just let me get into character.” Pinkie then trotted happily behind the counter and ducked from sight.
“What do you mean ‘character’?” Trixter asked and walked to the counter only to walk back a little when Pinkie emerged wearing a black sweatshirt with ‘Gongs’ in red letters and a pair of goggles with red lenses.
“Third Class man? I have not mastered the secret of First Class yet.” Pinkie said with some kind of accent that Trixter couldn’t place.
“Huh?”
“But don’t worry, all first raters were once third raters like us. You know how they got there?”
“I don’t-“
“THEY WORKED THEIR FLANKS OFF UNTIL THEY PUKED BLOOD- AND THEN THEY WORKED SOME MORE! The God of Work will help you on your quest. Today’s job is on the bulletin board.” Pinkie pointed a hoof at said board which most certainly wasn’t there a minute ago.
“I am so lost,” Trixter said and walked to the board and grabbed the only piece of paper on it.
Cupcake packer
Location: Sugarcube Corner
You are to pack cupcakes into carry out boxes. Finish packing before the client comes to pick them up.
Payment based on number of boxes packed.
“Well, I guess I’ll take it,” Trixter murmured and turned back to the counter, only to find Pinkie gone.
“I’m over here now.” Trixter screamed and turned to Pinkie who was standing on her hind legs with her forelegs crossed.
“How did you-?” Trixter said with panic evident in his voice.
“The unspoken rules of Ponyville are confusing to me,” Pinkie started making wild gestures with her forelegs, “but one thing is for certain: cupcakes are god! They sit on a throne of sugar with their cousins the doughnut and muffin. But a cupcake without a home might as well be dead. Give the cupcakes a home and the God of Cupcakes will smile down on you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“GET TO WORK!”
“Ok I’m sorry!” Trixter ran into the kitchen very much frightened. A second later Elusive, Applejack, and Butterscotch walked into the bakery and walked to Pinkie sans sweatshirt and bulletin board.
“Hello Pinkie,” Elusive said.
“Oh hi guys and Applejack, how are you doing?”
“Butterscotch here told us about your need for help, so here we are.”
“Aw, that’s very sweet, thanks Scotchie.” Pinkie bounced over to Butterscotch and nuzzled him.
“Y-you’re welcome,” Butterscotch said quietly and blushed lightly.
“So what do ye need help with?” Applejack asked.
“Well, Elusive can man the counter so I can help Rainbow in the kitchen and Scotchie can help the magician pack cupcakes if it’s ok with him.”
“Trixter’s here?” ‘Oh no.’
“Is that his name? It has a nice ring to it. So what do you want to-“
“I’ll work the counter with Elusive,” Applejack said from behind the counter.
“Ok, thanks Applejack,” Pinkie said and started trotting to the kitchen.
“Um, Pinkie?” Butterscotch asked.
“Yes Scotchie?”
“Where did you get those goggles?”
“Oh, I borrowed these from Vinyl. Thanks for reminding me to give these back to him when I’m done with them.” Pinkie walked into the kitchen with Butterscotch following as Elusive joined Applejack at the counter.
“Ah know ye want ta ask me something Elusive, so what is it?” Applejack asked.
“Later Applejack.” Applejack sighed and dreaded how well the day would go.
“THEY JUST KEEP COMING!” Trixter shouted as he stuffed cupcakes into a box, “And where is that music coming from?”
“Who cares, just keep packing those cupcakes!” Rainbow shouted and placed another batch of cupcakes next to Trixter. For some insane reason the cupcakes were going faster than they were before, so everypony in the kitchen was working as fast as they could. Trixter placed the last cupcake in the box and ran into the main area to put it with the rest of the boxes.
“Come on, we’re nearing the deadline! Come on you third raters!” Pinkie shouted having put the sweatshirt back on, “No offense Scotchie.”
“N-none taken,” Butterscotch said in a moderate voice and took a box out to the counter. Pinkie jumped on the counter and stared down at Rainbow.
“What’s your excuse? I’ve seen Sugar Gliders move faster than that!” she shouted at him.
“I have to wait for the cupcakes to bake, and that doesn’t make any sense,” he said back.
“Ha, typical third-rater excuse! You’ll never be a first rater with a mindset like that.”
“I am not a third rater!” Blitz shouted at Pinkie.
“Well that’s what I’m seeing. Are you a third rater Rainbow Blitz?”
“No!”
“What do you want to be?”
“A Wonderbolt!”
“And what are they?”
“First Raters!”
“Then work your flank off and be a First Rater!” Rainbow roared, opened the oven as it dinged, and pulled the tray out without a heat pad. He tossed it on a counter and replaced it with another tray before closing the oven.
“That was a horrible idea!” Rainbow yelled and fell to the floor rubbing his teeth.
“What did you expect to happen?” Trixter commented and closed the box he was working on, “Idiot.”
“What in Equestria is going on in there?” Elusive asked staring at the door.
“Ah don’t know, but whatever it is it’s working,” Applejack said as Pinkie hopped out and set a box on the counter.
“We’re almost done back there, did anypony show up?” Pinkie asked.
“Only one and he’s just sitting over there,” Elusive said and pointed at said customer.
“Oh don’t worry about him. Anyway, we’ll be done in a few minutes and then we can go on our double date!”
“A what now?” Applejack asked, but didn’t get an answer from Pinkie. When Pinkie disappeared into the kitchen Applejack looked flatly at Elusive.
“…Well, yes that is what I wanted to ask you,” Elusive said.
“FRAAAAAAAGH!”
“What’s wrong?” Applejack waited for Trixter to set another box and go back into the kitchen before talking.
“Why would ya just spring that on me? Ya could have at least talked to me about it.”
“I did try to talk to you about dating, back when you were ‘sick’, and the double date was something I thought up with Butterscotch.”
“Uh, just so we’re clear, we are talking about you and me going on a double date with Pinkie and Butterscotch right?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, but why are you asking me? There are plenty of single mares in this town.”
“You can’t fault matters of the heart Applejack.”
‘Wait, what did he just say?’ Before Applejack could inquire into this, Trixter and Rainbow Blitz came out again.
“We’re finally done!” Blitz yelled and set the box he was carrying on the counter.
“So many cupcakes, I can’t help but wonder who wanted all of them,” Trixter said.
“Nice work Third Rater,” Pinkie said as she joined them, “I suppose you’d like your payment?”
“Yes I would thank you.” Pinkie walked over to the register and dug through it while the unicorn walked over to the counter.
“How may I help you?” Elusive asked him.
“I ordered all the cupcakes,” he said.
“You?!” Trixter yelled and looked ready to run.
“Don’t shout at me, I’m working right now.”
“Working?”
“My bosses really like cupcakes, so they have me picking up sweets. I’ll go back to chasing you with a pinecone when I’m done ok?”
“I would very much prefer if you didn’t.”
“Here you go, 75,000 milli-bits,” Pinkie said holding out a bag to Trixter.
“What the hay is a milli-bit?” Trixter asked taking the bag in his magic.
“Ugh, you’re such a Third Rater.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“A thousand milli-bits are equivalent to one bit.”
“So you only gave me 75 bits?”
“Yeppers!”
“Alright whatever.” Trixter walked around the counter and waved at the ponies as he walked out.
“Ok, so I’ll take those cupcakes now. I think you’ve been payed in advance for them?” the unicorn asked.
“Yep,” Pinkie said.
“Alright then, I’ll just take those off your hooves then.” He looked at the massive stacks of cupcakes and sighed, “I may have to make a few trips.”
“That’s alright, we got nothing going on right now,” Applejack said with a friendly hoof wave.
“Thanks for that,” he said and picked up some of the boxes magically and walked to the door.
Which was slammed open by a furiously blushing Twilight.
“Pinkie, are you quite done with Rainbow Blitz?” She asked excitedly as the unicorn walked out the door.
“Help I can’t get out of this thing!” Pinkie shouted having got caught in the sweatshirt.
“Yeah, I’m done Twilight,” Rainbow said.
“Great, I need your help with something,” Twilight said and walked over to Rainbow.
“Really, what is-?”
“DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!” Twilight yelled grabbing Rainbow’s face and then walked around him to bite his tail, and proceeded to drag him out of the bakery.
“What’s going on? Seriously Twi, you’re kind of freaking me out!”
“Is it me? Am ah the only one having a weird day?” Applejack asked.
“Sorry, Twilight might be my fault,” Elusive said. Pinkie managed to get out of the sweatshirt with Butterscotch’s help.
“Whew, thanks Scotchie.”
“I-it’s no trouble Pinkie,” Butterscotch said gently set the sweatshirt on the counter.
“So, when are we going on that date Elusive?”
“Well, I was thinking maybe-“
“Wait, I have an idea! Why don’t we go now?”
“What?” Applejack, Elusive, and Butterscotch said in unison.
“Well, not right now right now, but soonish right now.”
“Uh Pinkie, ah don’t think that’s a…” Applejack paused at Pinkie’s unconditionally smiling face and, after a few seconds of staring, sighed. “Where were ya plannin’ on goin’?”
“I was thinking of having a nice lunch at that café down the street,” Elusive said.
“That sounds… nice,” Butterscotch said.
“Well, I have to wait for that colt to get his cupcakes, so why don’t you go ahead and I’ll meet you there?” Pinkie asked.
“Are you sure that would be alright?” Elusive asked.
“Oh sure, I need to give Vinyl his goggles back anyway.”
“Alright then, we’ll be sure to save you a seat,” Applejack said and walked to the door.
“Ok!” Pinkie watched her friends walk out of the bakery and searched underneath the counter for a minute before pulling out a white unicorn with a towel on his head. He lifted the towel and looked around in confusion.
“What in the- how did I-?” he said and looked at Pinkie, “Oh, that explains a lot.”
“Hi Vinyl, how are you doing?” Pinkie asked.
“Eh I’m fine, nice goggles.”
“Thanks, they’re yours though,” Pinkie said and took off the goggles to give them to Vinyl.
“I was wondering where they disappeared too. Thanks for that,” Vinyl said and took the goggles.
“So is there anything new going on with you?”
“Broke up with my old marefriend, got a new one. Not much other than that.”
“Really? Who is it and when did that happen? You have to tell me these kinds of things SO I CAN PLAN AROUND THEM!”
“Chill Pinkie, I only recently that I got together with her. She’s pretty cool, I’m sure you’ll like her.”
“Neato, when can I meet her?”
“Soon enough. So… can you put me back please?”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie grabbed Vinyl by his neck and sent him back home. With that done, she happily hopped out of Sugarcube Corner and down the street.
“Hi guys!” Pinkie called out at her friends and sat at the table, “Did I miss anything?”
“Nah, we only been here a few minutes,” Applejack said and scootched away from Elusive a little.
“Alright, but I may have forgotten about those cupcakes. I’ll be right back.” Pinkie trotted back down the road and Applejack and Elusive started some kind of rushed argument.
“Ah still can’t believe you asked me out like this!” Applejack whispered at Elusive, “Have you always had some kind of crush on me?”
“I wouldn’t call it a crush, more like an emotional attraction,” Elusive said back.
“That’s called a crush and how long?”
“What does that matter?”
“I’m back!” Pinkie said and sat down.
“Pinkie, that didn’t take long,” Elusive said cheerfully.
“Nope, so did I miss anything?” The assembled shook their heads as a waiter walked over to them.
“What can I get you today?” he asked and took out a notepad and pencil.
“Ah’ll just have some water,” Applejack said.
“Water,” Butterscotch whispered.
“I’ll have a cup of tea,” Elusive said.
“A cup of coffee with five sugar cubes,” Pinkie said. The waiter nodded and walked away from the table. “This is so much fun, I’ve never been on a date like this before. Except for those sleepovers with Scotchie every other weekend, but that’s something else entirely. By the way, how’s Jeffrey doing?”
“Oh, um, still the same,” Butterscotch said.
“Jeffrey?” Applejack asked.
“Oh, Jeffrey’s a rabbit that Butterscotch is looking after. I don’t know the whole details, but I’ve gathered that Jeffrey thinks he’s a bird of some kind,” Elusive explained.
“Do you think Gummy would help at all?” Pinkie asked and smiled at the waiter who brought them their drinks.
“Oh um, I don’t know. I’ll have to see how Angel is doing and see if he would like the help,” Butterscotch said and took a sip of water. The table shuttered a little which caused him to yelp a little and hug Pinkie.
“What was that?” Applejack asked and looked under the table to see a familiar light blue unicorn. “Trixter, what are you doing here?!”
“Don’t blow my cover!” Trixter said and looked out on the street as Elusive, Butterscotch, and Pinkie joined in looking at him.
“Why on earth are you under our table?” Elusive asked.
“It’s that crazy unicorn that’s been following me! Oh no there he is, I’m not here!” Applejack looked up to find the unicorn from earlier.
“Why do ya think he’s following you?” Applejack asked.
“Because he has been following me all day! I don’t know how he found out about that rumor.”
“What rumor?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m not telling you! Uh oh.” Trixter backed away from the table edge as the unicorn walked over to them.
“Hello pink baker pony, have you seen light blue unicorn magician around?” he asked.
“Who?” Pinkie’s friends stared at her for a moment and Applejack shook her head.
“Sorry, we ain’t seen him since he left the bakery a few minutes ago,” Applejack said, “why are ye looking for him anyway?”
“Business proposition. I wanted his opinion on something and it’s only now occurred to me that I might have been doing it wrong. If you do see him then can you tell him that I was looking for him?”
“Okie dokie, it’s not like he’s hiding under our table or anything,” Pinkie said not paying attention to the slight yelp from Trixter.
“Thank you and sorry for interrupting your lunch.” He walked away from the group and Applejack forced Trixter out from under the table.
“Thanks for not giving me away. I have to go now, work to do and all that,” he said and also walked away.
“Ah wonder if Red Gala will let me back on the farm yet?” Applejack whispered to herself.
“The day has been kind of unorthodox, hasn’t it?” Elusive said.
“This coffee is really good, you should try some Scotchie,” Pinkie said and held out the cup to the pegasus.
“T-that’s alright, I don’t drink coffee,” Butterscotch said and politely pushed the cup away.
“I’m getting kind of hungry now,” Applejack said and took a sip of her water.
“Yes, a nice lunch does sound nice.”
“And that’s all you want me to do?”
“Yes, just eat the pinecone, tell me how it tastes, and I’ll pay you for it.” Trixter sighed and thought it over for a minute.
“Do I have to swallow it?” he finally asked.
“Only if you want to.”
“I don’t. In fact, where did you hear this from anyway?”
“Yeah, that’s classified.” The unicorn lifted a pinecone into view and set it on the table. Trixter sighed and picked it up with his own magic.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said and took a bite. Almost immediately he started coughing up bits of pinecone, but forced himself through it. After a solid half a minute of chewing Trixter couldn’t take anymore and ran to a nearby trashcan. After coughing a couple more times he walked back to the table.
“How did it taste?” the unicorn asked.
“It tasted like a pinecone! What did you expect?” Trixter nearly yelled, not even bothering to hide his annoyance.
“Fascinating,” the unicorn whispered. He rubbed his chin a little before setting a bag on the table, “Thank you for your help, there is your payment.” Trixter opened the bag as the unicorn stood up and stretched.
“Wait, how much were you going to pay me?”
“I don’t know, hundred… 125 bits?” he said not noticing Trixter’s baffled stare, “I don’t particularly care since money is a fleeting thing. I have to go check the lake for magical radiation now, so if you’ll excuse me.” Trixter looked at the bag of bits in front of him, and then to the unicorn trotting away, and then back to the bits.
“I shouldn’t complain, but… this town is crazy,” he said and picked up the bag.
“Open wide Scotchie, it’s really good,” Pinkie said and held out a hay fry. Butterscotch slowly opened his mouth and gave a quiet ‘Ah’ as Pinkie put the fry in his mouth. Butterscotch chewed lightly and gave Pinkie a soft smile before picking up a fry of his own.
“Um, say ah?” he quietly said holding out a fry, which Pinkie ate out of his hoof.
“Ah.”
“I’m really glad that they got together,” Elusive whispered to Applejack.
“…Ah have to agree. Ah don’t think ah’ve ever seen a more lovey dovey couple than them,” Applejack whispered back.
“Anyway, how has the farm been doing?” Elusive asked taking a sip of tea.
“We’re doing alright. Ah’m a little concerned about Applebloom, but it’s probably nothing.”
“Really, what’s she doing?”
“Probably another of her crusader activities. Don’t worry, if it gets worse ah’ll talk to her about it.”
“Applejack, if it has even the slightest possibility of being destructive you should talk to her about it. I learned that with Sweetie Belle.”
“And it hasn’t. Ah know my little sister Elusive, so if you’re-“
“I meant nothing by it darling, just talking from experience is all.” Elusive looked up at the sun to gauge the time. “I might have to go look for her soon.”
“Ah saw her earlier and she was just playing with Scooteroll and Applebloom. So they’re probably doing Crusader things.”
“I hope they don’t get into trouble, it took nearly two hours to clean Sweetie Belle after their last ‘adventure’.”
“Getting a little dirty won’t kill ya,” Applejack said teasingly.
“It’s not just the dirt Applejack, I’m worried that they might do something that could get them seriously hurt. Where exactly is the line for them?”
“After ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders Apple Tree Movers’ ah learned there might not be any limits for them.”
“Wait, is that why an apple tree appeared next to my boutique and disappeared the next day?”
“Eeyup.” Applejack set about finishing her lunch ending the conversation for now. Elusive abided and sipped his tea carefully. After a few minutes of eating and watching Pinkie and Butterscotch he set down the empty cup and sighed.
“I’m so glad I could set aside the time to do this with you,” Elusive said, “I should get back to the boutique soon.”
“Set aside? Wait, exactly how busy are ya anyway?”
“Not excessively, it’s just a few dresses and suits due in a week or so. Excuse me Butterscotch but-“
“Pinkie, t-that’s a lot of fries.”
“Come on Scotchie,” Pinkie said waving a large amount of fries in Butterscotch’s direction, “they just want to be friends with your stomach.”
“Well… I guess I don’t want to disappoint them.”
“Um… Applejack, could you be a dear and…?” Elusive asked.
“Yeah, ah’ll tell them,” Applejack answered.
“Thanks darling.” Elusive leaned in and kissed Applejack on the cheek before she could react and placed some bits on the table. “That’ll cover both of our meals, so don’t worry about that.”
“Alright,” Applejack said dazedly.
“I’ll see you later then.” Elusive stood up and started walking away at a brisk pace. Butterscotch noticed this and swallowed the mouthful of fries.
“Where is Elusive going?” he asked.
“He remembered some work he had to do and regrets havin’ to leave,” Applejack said quietly and stood up, “Ah have to go now. This was really fun.” Butterscotch and Pinkie watched Applejack walk away before looking at each other.
“D-did we do something wrong?” Butterscotch asked. Pinkie thought for a second and twitched her ears.
“I got it!” she finally spoke up, “I think Applejack just had her first kiss.”
“Really? Oh wow.”
“But I think it’s more like a kiss on the cheek, but I guess the romantic lives of my friends are not really my business.” Pinkie smiled at Butterscotch and quickly kissed him on the cheek.
“Oh uh… thank you Pinkie,” he said with a light blush and, after making sure nopony was looking, did the same to Pinkie.
“Aw, thank you,” Pinkie said back and nuzzled against Butterscotch. After a moment of this she held up a hay fry which Butterscotch ate.
‘He kissed me,’ Applejack thought as she walked through the streets of Ponyville, ‘And why am I worrying about this? It was just a kiss, it doesn’t mean anything…right?’ Applejack shook her head and looked ahead of her, ‘Of course it doesn’t. Why am I worrying about this, it’s not like I have-‘
“Applejack, what are the chances?” a voice said to her left and Applejack turned to find Trixter.
“Oh, howdy Trixter. What are ya doing here?” Applejack asked trying to sound happy.
“Just wandering around since I finished all of my jobs for today. Hey, do you remember what we talked about earlier?”
“Uh…”
“About maybe doing something again soon, like dinner or something. I really enjoyed the last one we had.” Applejack adjusted her hat as she looked into Trixter’s eyes in thought.
“Oh yeah, ah’m sorry but ah don’t know when ah’ll have time for that,” she said looking away from him.
“Well… how about I come to the orchard tomorrow and we’ll talk about it then?” Applejack sighed and tried to move past Trixter, who stepped in her way. “I’m going to be working there tomorrow anyway.” Applejack looked Trixter in the eye, and then down to her hooves as they scrapped the ground, and after a few seconds of thought sighed again.
“Ah guess it couldn’t hurt,” she said.
“Excellent, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Trixter said with a hint of pride. Applejack only barely looked back up at him when he kissed her cheek, freezing her in place. “You won’t regret this, I always aim to please,” he said and trotted away from Applejack.
She turned to watch him and placed a hoof on the cheek he had just kissed, and then touched the one that Elusive had kissed.
“Oh hayseed.”
“I’m still feeling uncomfortable about this Twi,” Rainbow told his marefriend.
“Come on Blitzie, I haven’t been able to get this out of my head,” Twilight said through her heavy blush and nuzzled deeper into the pillow she had against her face, “Can you please do this?”
“Well… alright,” Blitz said approaching Twilight, “just don’t get your hopes high. It’s not like I’ve done this before.”
“Ok, just don’t be too rough.”
“I’ll try.” A few tense moments passed before Twilight felt Rainbow on top of her, which she didn’t expect, and let out a little whimper as he started working. He started by rubbing her shoulders in small circular motions and slowly made his way down her back. Twilight gave slight whimpers and screams whenever Rainbow hit a particular spot. As he moved lower and lower, shifting along the way, Twilight wondered if she had locked the door.
She got her answer when Spike walked in.
“Uh, what are you two doing?” he asked shifting the bag of groceries in his arms.
“Wait Spike! I, uh… well, you see…” Twilight stammered while trying to hide her blushing face.
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Rainbow said behind her. Twilight gave a squeal of embarrassment as Spike scratched his head.
“You’re… giving Twilight a massage?” he asked.
“Yep,” Rainbow nodded and continued massaging Twilight’s back.
“Ok… why?”
“Apparently Elusive took her to the spa and she got a massage so mind blowing she had to teach me how to do it.” Blitz massaged a particular knot in the middle of Twilight’s back and Twilight screamed into the pillow before relaxing more naturally on it.
“This feels so good Blitzie, and keep doing what you did there,” she said while giving pleasurable ‘hmms’. Spike shook his head at the unicorn and started to the kitchen.
“I’ll never understand you two,” he whispered to himself and got to work putting groceries away.
“So where did you get this idea anyway?” Blitz asked Twilight, “This is kind of a weird thing to ask me to do.”
“This isn’t any different than when you let me massage your wings,” Twilight said imagining the blush on Blitz’s face through closed eyes, “just think of it as returning the favor.”
“Alright, point taken,” Blitz said quietly and leaned next to Twilight’s ear, “I guess I’ll have to make this really good then.” Twilight could only giggle to herself as Rainbow continued with the massage.
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This is the funniest chapter up to this point xD
To be more specific the most random chapter.
And poor AJ having two stallions how want her xD
Btw shouldn't trixie be in the character list since she appears in 2 chapters?
Update! Success! Frustrated Twi!
Good story, but I think the only reason that I really stayed was to seee what went down with the pine cone (not that I didn't like the story, its just that I'm not a fan of Rarijack).
This was a really good Chapter. Now I have to wait for the next one.
Though I am curious why Twilight was....I really have no Idea how to describe how Twilight was acting when she came to get Rainbow from Sugarcube Corner.
686653
She was still under the effects of that massage from earlier. If you want I can put a little extra scene in to show what happened with them.
This will end...interestingly.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINECOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”
Does the Unicorn have the word "Seth" in his name, by any chance?
686715 please do
also you have a fasination with No More Heroes don't you?
686973
Hell yeah I do, it's one of my favorite game series. I'll try and cut back on those kinds of references for a while, but that image of Pinkie dressed as the job guy from NMH1 was something I had to get down.
686715
Yes I would like to read that additional scene.
687020 I am still thinking of her dressed up as Henry because of that reference in The Red Archives
687060>>687093
Scene's been added.
687165
Thanks. The additional scene is really good.
Seth? Is that you, Seth?
686750>>687516
I didn't have him in mind when writing this, but the resemblance is a little uncanny.
...Give me some thinking time.
“I’m back!” Pinkie said and sat down.
SInce it's Pinkie this is how I imagined it.
It would be hilarious if this thing with AJ Trixter and Elusive turned into Elusive x Trixter...
All the ultima spoony references were brilliant.
688732
That's the second time that someone's compared something from this story to the Silence, the first time being with Vinyl's eyes.
I have to catch up on the new series soon.
I can see you're having so much fun writing this.
Sweet, delicious, piiineecooneesss.
Next up, bubbledash?
I could write one?
696262
I'm more than a little pissed off with that pairing right now, so go on and write one up. I'd like to see what you can come up with.
697099
Do you need a hug?
697266
No, it's just Shipping Goggles killed that pairing so hard for me, and trust me I could go on about why I hate that piece of garbage. But I won't and I may get over it sometime, but right now I don't even want to think about that pairing.
No offense.
I came into this expecting M/M main cast shipping.
I received none.
I am very disappointed.
698415
Well, name a pairing and I'll see what I can do. I've already established SoarinJack as M/M if that's anything.
Braeburn x Twilight?
I love this fic
707723
Thanks for that, and I've never really thought of that pairing.
I don't know, the Apple Family is kind of a paradox for me in that I don't really ship them that much. I'm just not sure how to spin something like that.
Maybe when I get some of the other things done? IDK.
697281
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/30570/The-63-Files-Extras
I know I fail at writing, but I tried.
508473
She was in only one second.
That scene was half of her canon lifespan.
Did someone request CloudchaserXFlitter? I'm fairly certain someone did, though I can't remember who requested it or what the swap would be.
Whatever, I'll do that one too.
Yes! Finally, after all this time, allllll this time, development for A.J situation.
Lol, @ Elusive's dine, dash and stealing of Aj's first kiss. Wow, Trixter has taken a really liking to A.J, to bad he didn't notice what Elusive was doing.
Enjoyed the chapter, however there were a lot of characters and subplots that slowed the momentum of the story. I would advice against this since with this type of work, many readers are more likely to read the chapters with their favorite pairing and skip the ones they aren't fond of.
When is the next chapter?
788031
When it gets done. The next few are shaping to be quite long. -_-
BTW, is there any kind of precedent against Surprise Pie?
788167
Longer chapters means more to read. I'm willing to wait for stuff to update but sometimes my aspergers compels me to ask 'When is the next update?'
Surprise was going to be Pinkie's original name until Hasbro told Luran to make Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, so Surprise Pie might seem strange.
"IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!!"
Love that line.