• Published 4th Jun 2017
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Ofolrodi - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash traverses the perils of the Dark Side of the world to reach the Midnight Armory.

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There's Always Worse Evil

Rainbow reached the top of the crater's rim. And...

...several bright colors flickered in her peripheral.

"!!!" Startled, she braked in midair and looked aside.

Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and the others looked back—slightly breathless.

"This is about as—" Twilight flickered again and rematerialized. "—far as you can go, Rainbow."

"Yeah!" Pinkie nodded. "Or else Dicklord will show up!"

"Don't you mean Discord, darling?" Rarity leaned in.

Pinkie pouted with angry puffy cheeks. "I know what I said!"

"Oh dear..." Rarity held a hoof towards her faint forehead. "...what are we becomiiiiing?"

"I can't go any further," Rainbow muttered.

Ariel caught up, panting. "You can't?"

"If I do..." Rainbow glared at the sea of floating rocks before them. "...my friends will vanish and Discord will reappear in their place."

"Oh... good..." Ariel wheezed.

Rainbow's glance was slicing. "'Good'???"

"It means you're finally gonna stop trudging forward." Ariel took a lasting breath and frowned. "Maybe even listen to reason."

"Ariel, girl, there is no 'reason' when it comes to chaos metal!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "There's just... just... I mean look at this!" She gestured wildly at the floating mess. "It's nothing but diarrhea and death!"

"Rainbow..."

"Death diarrhea! On a cosmic level!"

"Rainbow, listen!" Ariel barked in a tone that actually made Rainbow flinch. "What happened to you the other day totally sucked. What happened to the ponies on the Light Side who were exposed to material chaos also sucked."

"Don't forget all the traps Verlaxion laid with the crud," Rainbow muttered.

"Point being..." Ariel folded her forelimbs and glared Rainbow's way. "That was then. This is now. If there's anything I've learned from my time with the Herald—and anything my mother taught me before she passed—is that you've gotta learn to change. To adapt... if you wanna stay alive."

"Ariel, I don't wanna just stay alive," Rainbow grumbled. "I've mastered that by now. What I want..." She pointed at her Element. "...is to come back to Equestria as a pony, not a monster."

"Have you ever considered that maybe you're neither?" Ariel asked.

Rainbow blinked.

"Harmony makes you into one thing. Chaos makes you into another." Ariel gestured with her left hoof, then the right. "But you're different, Rainbow. You're the Austraeoh. You're not exactly both of them... but you're not you without them either. You're more like something in between."

"Meaning I should know a thing or two about how bad chaos is."

"No, meaning you should know a thing or two or three about how you can use shit like chaos for good."

"She ain't wrong, sugarcube," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash slowly pivoted her head to glare at her. The pegasus' eyes were like daggers.

Applejack folded her forelimbs, unfazed. "You've been holdin' out on murderin' the angry folks who've been chasin' ya to the Edge of the World. That's mighty noble-like. You've also been stickin' to eatin' non-meat. If I was in yer place, I'd likely do the same. But... take a gander, RD..." She pointed at the massive Curve looming over them, the crater, and the floating array of rocks.

Rainbow sighed.

Applejack continued. "There is just... so much left to scale. I shudder to think how yer stomach will survive it. Never mind yer conscience; that's dang near immortal by now, I reckon, from the beating it's taken all these past months. But maybe it's high time to smell the fertilizer." Her ghostly green eyes narrowed. "Discord ain't here. At least... not in the flesh. Not like the Herald's fixin' on enslavin' an entire culture with nasty devices, like Chrysalis or Verlaxion. We're just talkin' about gettin' a wagon to float again... and maybe findin' new and more proper ways to defend ourselves!"

"Meanwhile..." Twilight Sparkle floated closer. "We will continue to make our way to the Midnight Armory where we can find something that will help us restore harmony to the entire plane, Rainbow!" She shrugged wildly. "Maybe even all of Urohringr as well!"

"It's the big picture, darling!" Rarity tried to smile, but ultimately grimaced. "Something that... we sh-should have realized long ago..." Her ears drooped. "...b-before we abandoned you at the Quade."

Rainbow's eyes closed. She took deep breaths.

"Rarity's simply trying to apologize, Rainbow," Fluttershy said. "She mentioned the Quade. But this isn't the same thing."

"But the same thing may still happen," Rainbow muttered.

"Huh?" Pinkie blinked.

"You weren't around when he appeared. Bright as day. Right in my face." Rainbow's eyes reopened, misty. "Every step closer to chaos that I take, you girls vanish... and Discord takes center stage. All this time, he's been trying to get to me."

"Get to you how?"

"First with threats... intimidation..." Rainbow gulped, trembling in mid-hover. "...then with bargaining. False promises. He..." Rainbow grimaced. "...I'm afraid that one of these days, I-I'm going to make the stupid mistake of actually listening to him." She turned to look up... up... up at the vertigo-inducing Curve. "Applejack's right. There's so much distance left to go... so much to fall back from. When I finally land back in Ponyville... can I even survive it? Can we all survive?"

Fluttershy and Pinkie nervously exchanged glances.

"You've got what it takes to resist him, darlin'," Applejack said.

"She's right, Rainbow." Twilight Sparkle floated closest. She smiled. "You've overcome worse evil before. We've even had the pleasure of witnessing it once or twice!"

"Even if Discord were to somehow wrestle you into a corner, we know that you would mightily thrash him!" Rarity winked. "That ruffian stands no chance!"

"Nevlamas slaughtered hundreds of Ledomaritan soldiers," Rainbow droned. "Chrysalis infiltrated a nation. Verlaxion indoctrinated an entire continent for millennia. But Discord?" She looked squarely at her companions. "Discord took away my friends."

The mares stared back. Silent.

Rainbow's teeth clenched. "There is no evil worse than him..."

Pinkie Pie arched an eyebrow. Swiftly, she planted a hoof over half of her face like an eyepatch and opened her muzzle to produce a single syllable—

Rarity swatted her on the back of the head.

Pinkie jolted, frowned, but then shrugged.

Around this time, Logan caught up. "Whew... humina..." He looked up at the pair of hovering pegasi, sweating. "Is Rainbow Dash still being an angsty butt?"

"Mmmhmmm." Ariel nodded.

"Ah. Cool." Logan turned and looked down the lengthy edge of the crater, back down towards the camp. "Awwwwwwww buck me." He slumped down onto his haunches and groaned. "Why can't we ever have an ethical debate inside a liquor store?"

"Rainbow, look at me..." Ariel said gently.

Rainbow did so.

"At least..." She smiled. "...let me fetch Wildcard. Get us to talk to Flynn and Kepler. Figure out their plans. Maybe it's not as bad as you think."

"Hrmmmfff..." Rainbow grumbled out the side of her muzzle. "Probably not as bad as I think..."

"Right!" Ariel nodded. "Do you actually think the Herald—as Eljunbyro—would do something that would harm the Austraeoh in the long run?"

"But my friends..." Rainbow glanced at Twilight and the rest. "...if I get anywhere near the chaos crap, they disappear. And..." She shivered. "And Discord—"

Ariel rested a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. "You think Flynn and Keps haven't thought of that? They're on your side! We're all on your side! Please... just trust us..."

Rainbow sighed long and hard. "... ... ... ... ...fine."

"Good! Wait right here. Go no further towards the... er... diarrhea darkness." She winked. "I'll play messenger."

"I can think of sexier roles."

"You can, can't you?" Ariel smirked, then—FWOOOSH!—she rocketed down towards the heart of the crater in a gray blur.

"Woohooo!" Pinkie pumped a forelimb.

Fluttershy blinked at her. "What are you cheering for?"

"I dunno!" Pinkie grinned. "Just feels good to get our thumbs out of our butts!"

"What's a thumb, darling?" Rarity asked.

"Rnnnnnghhhh..." Rainbow descended until she was slumped against the crater's edge next to Logan. "...I think I was better off in a coma."

"I think you were too," Logan muttered.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Look, about our conversation earlier, I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

Rainbow growled slightly. "Would it kill you to acknowledge the reason why I'm so freaked out about this chaos stuff?"

"I could." Logan yawned. "But I just don't give a shit."

"Mrmmmffff... forgot who I was talking to."

Logan smirked. "Yeah, you did."

Rainbow looked down into the crater. Her eyes flickered red-on-yellow momentarily. "I really wish that Ariel would hurry up."

"Just calm your crotchtits," Logan said with a shrug. "After all, what's the hurry?"


Seraphimus was breathing rapidly. Stuck in her chains, she nevertheless craned her neck to get a better look Edgeside.

From her vantage point on the wagon, she could spot a shifting line of limbs... muscle... beady eyes.

Pale bodies...

Undulating...

Scampering...

Charging.

The air rang with a shrill high-pitched whine. Shrieks combined to form a cacophonous wave of noise, rolling in from the distance, rushing up the hill with the occasional spark of claws against dead stone.

"Verlaxion's sleet," Seraphimus exhaled.

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