Three and a Half Mares

by SurprisePinkiePinkiePie

The square route of 49: Mudponies, Narwhals, Featherdusters

Author's Note:

The first part is 3rd person, the second is Commander Hurricane, next is Mayor Flitter Flutter, then Rarity, and the last one is Clover the Clever.....kind of. Pretty obvious twist there. Also, for the last four, it's sort of inside the characters' heads, but Strife is reading their minds.

"Alright!" yelled Celestia. "Seriously, guys, knock it off!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Fine. Why do you always have to ruin the party?"

Celestia ignored her. Kimono shivered. "I just noticed how cold it is here. Was it not summer half an hour ago?"

Sparkleworks shrugged. "I'm just glad the monster isn't here. I wonder what it's doing."

"Knowing Draconequui," answered Celestia. "probably having a nice water of glass."

"That's racist!" snapped a voice. "I only drink chocolate milks of glass!"

Luna groaned. "You just had to jinx it, didn't you, Sparkleworks! Aye caramba...."

Sure enough, within the blink of an eye they could feel him. All of them having watched several movies, they instinctively looked behind them. He wasn't right behind them, for some reason. They all stared at each other.

"Of course!" yelled Luna. "The next cliche in the book is that the villain is right in front of us!" She turned her head back around. Nothing. "Alright.....Maybe he's above us!"

She countinued looking around. Kimono followed her lead and within seconds of realising space was three-dimensional and turning to her side. Sure enough, there he was.....well, that was her first thought.

This thing had the same pony-like head and serpentine body, but it also had the front paws of a wolf and a tiger, with no back legs whatsoever and an alligator tail. One of its two wings resembled that of a hummingbird while the other was a ladybird's. And the horn.....Only one brown horn, but not in the middle like a Unicorn's, it just sat awkwardly to the side as if there was meant to be another one.

They all gasped in horror. "Don't gasp yet," he insisted. "Wait until the other one catches on. Until then, I'm too busy watching her to do anything physically impossible."

He sighed, looking up. "Looks like Discord went and made the weather awful here. Oh well!"

He made a glass appear out of nowhere and filled it with the floodwater, drinking the glass and holding the water in one of his wolf claws before holding it above Kimono for a few seconds. After a while he dropped it and it fell onto the magenta mare's head with a thump. "Ow!" she cried. Then reality caught up and the water realised it was a liquid, not a solid, and the lump of water suddenly collapsed and got Kimono's mane wet.

When Luna finally realised how three-dimensional space works and turned around, she gasped in horror. "Ahh! Monster!"

"Oh, don't worry," advised the thing. "Reality bending is Discord's thing." As he said this, he snapped his tiger claws and turned one of the trees upside-down. "Okay, mostly his thing. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Strife. Now...."

He grinned and snapped his wolf claws. Luna stared at her own tail and barked like a dog, galloping around in circles for a few seconds before jumping onto her sister and licking her. Strife snapped his claws again and Luna awkwardly got up. "Err.....let us never speak of that again, agreed?"

Strife grinned to himself. "Not bad. But these ones are boring. Maybe those survivors could have some fun....yes....I can see it now.....Brute featherdusters, snob narwhals and dirty mudponies....perfect...."

He snapped his claws and vanished.

Who the hell are you?

Strife, eh? Interesting. What are you doing in Butterfly Island?

Umm, yes, it DOES matter, thank you very much! What are you doing here? Hey, what even are you? You're not a Pegasi like us, and you're also not a Narw- Unicorn or a Mud- I mean, Earthpony, so what are you?

Yeah, I almost thought Mudpony and Narwhal. So what? My parents were racists and they saw them. It's just force of habit, and I stopped myself. And they're hardly innocent, they think all Pegasi are shy.

No, they don't call us featherdusters! Nopony would be that cruel! You've got proof? Yeah, right! Prove it!

...Hey, what's up with that screen?

...

...

How could they say that! Mayor Flitter Flutter! I played nice with you! And Rarity! I can't believe this! I even let her narwhals try the interspecies breeding thing with MY Pegasi! And I didn't gain a single soldier because for some reason they decided pixie wings should got to Ponyville! We both risked getting defected foals, and what happened? They get some amazing Unicorn called StarSwirl and I get some pixie wing purple pony that I have to give up!

Oh, they think I'm shy, huh? I'll show them shy! I'm going straight to Ponyville and I'm taking StarSong as my soldier! And then I'll show them how unshy us 'featherdusters' can be! I am Commander Hurricane and I declare war!

...What's happening?

I can't believe it! I was erased, deleted, destroyed! What's going on now? Ponyville was erased, wasn't it? How can an entire town be destroyed? Why am I back now?

...Lots of other ponies. Why?

All Earthponies. All weird colours, like brown and black and white and a few reddish-browns and golds. Animal colours. All making 'nay' sounds. Why?

Eh? Who are you? What are you?

Strife? Weird name.

What do you mean, your brother deleted Ponyville! That's crazy, insane, rediculous!

Uggh.....so tired........

Ahh! How did you turn into a pony like that? That's not normal, ordinary or usual!

No.....please stop......I'm just a mayor, I can't do it......

...

...

Who is Mayor Flitter Flutter? No, I am not a mayor! I am a Chancellor! Chancellor Puddinghead!

And I need to eliminated the narwhals and featherdusters! Not sure why, but I know I do! Thank you, Strife!

Hey, why are you leaving?

Slide! Fun! Ladder! Up, up up, weeeee! Fun! Let's do it again!

Eh? Who are you? Wait, what are you? You'e definitely not a pony.

You're Strife? Weird name. You should have a cool name, like Rarity!

Eh? I'm Rarity? I know, and I have the funnest name ever!

Yes, I know technically it's Princess Rarity Platinum. But nopony calls me that, I just like Rarity!

What do you mean, I should get more respect? That nopny takes me seriously because I'm too playful! Don't be silly!

What do you mean, Skywishes and Mayor Flitter Flutter called me a narwhal? They would never say anything as mean as that, they're nice!

Proof? Don't be silly! You can't prove something that's impossible!

Hey, what's that screen in the air?

...

...

Mayor Flitter Flutter! How dare you call me a narwhal! Narwhals- I mean, Unicorns- are NOT snobs! Take that back, you racist mudpony! And Skywishes! How could you! Narwhals? Snobs! YOU'RE the ones who are too shy to do anything, featherdusters!

They....they all think I'm a snob? Why? They should all be treating me with respect I am a PRINCESS! I am ROYALTY! I am Princess Rarity and you should OBEY ME!

You're right, Princess Rarity isn't powerful enough. Princess Rarity Platinum? Too long. How about....Princess Platinum? Perfect! Now! Bring me StarSwirl's apprentice! The purple one!

Now I am a real princess and expect to be treated as one, OKAY?

I'm so excited about being StarSwirl's apprentice! Okay, so maybe in all the research I did to learn how to travel back a few thousand years I'm probably as good as him, and I was halfway through using Rarity's scissors to cut off my own wings before she offered to make a cloak for me to hide them, but it's totally worth it! Why do you ask?

Wait, who are you? Discord?

Oh my Celestia, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend you, it's just that he's the only other Draconequus I know! Don't ask him about me. I'm from the future. Nice to meet you, Strife.....I think......

What? Change my name? I guess you're right. It won't make a difference since I haven't even been here long enough to meet Clover the Clever and if somepony sees my name in a history book.......

-Clover? Change my name to Clover the Clever? Don't be stupid! Somepony's sure to notice!

What do you mean, Princess Platinum wants me? We're in Unicornia, the only Princess is Rarity!

Wait, she's going by her last name now? And she wants me? Crap! Another stable time loop! Oops!

I guess I am Clover the Clever now. Thanks for telling me, I guess. Wait, you're Discord's brother! Why are you helping me found Equestria?

You have your reasons? Right.......You just want me to get frozen and create another timeline, right?

I suppose there's nothing I can do. Fine. I just hope Rarity- I mean, Princess Platinum- doesn't sit on my like in that play we did. My wing still hurts from when I nearly cut it off. Time to go.

Comments

[Crazy the Clone]

Okay, you lost me here, even with the author's note in the beginning