Heavy Rock

by CoffeeMinion

Bonus Track: Fat Bottomed Girls

Late afternoon sunlight lanced through the quiet music room at Canterlot High, casting heavy shadows as it played across a head-high stack of plastic chairs that had been left near the window.

But the silence was broken when a boy in jeans, a T-shirt, and a black jacket kicked the propped-ajar door fully open. Flash Sentry bopped and strutted into the silent space with a gait whose unevenness likely owed to balancing a white coffin-shaped guitar case in his right hand, and a smooth black smartphone in his left hand. A long white cord connecting the phone to a pair of earbuds he was wearing flailed through the air as he alternately pumped his limbs and headbanged. Yet still the only sounds in the room came from the squeaking of his sneakers on the aging tile floor.

“Aaaaaare you gonna take me home toniiiiiiiight,” he suddenly belted at the top of his lungs. A moment later, he stumbled over a cord that hadn’t been taped-down to the floor, breaking both his verse and his confident swagger. He steadied himself, shot a dirty look at the cord, then turned his gaze to the shelf of tools and equipment next to the window. After glancing back at both his guitar case and phone, he set the case down next to the offending cable, placed the phone down upon it, and unplugged his earbuds.

A growling—though clean—guitar riff chased all vestiges of silence from the room, accompanied by steady but powerful drumming, all supported by a thick bass undercurrent. After smiling and seeming satisfied with this state of affairs, Flash strutted toward the equipment shelf, hand already reaching towards the gaffer tape. And again he picked up with the chorus: “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go ‘round!”

Flash turned back, gaffer tape in hand—and shrieked as he caught sight of the two figures who’d been sitting in the low-lit silence of what he must've assumed had been an empty room.

In response, Limestone Pie deepened the furrows on her brow, gave her sister Pinkie a look, then nodded toward the light switch.

Pinkie got the lights. Flash paused his music. Limestone settled into a glare.

“Harmony on a stick, guys,” Flash panted, still catching his breath. “What, are you trying to make sure I get my cardio in even though it’s a band practice day?!”

“Ooo, that’s a good idea,” Pinkie chirped. “I mean, no, we just got here early and thought we’d use the time to study a few of the tabs you gave us last session—but come to think of it, the keyboardist from Rammstallion walks on a treadmill while playing live sometimes, so maybe we could have you do that, too!”

Both Flash and Limestone looked at her with furrowed brows.

“What do treadmills have to do with anything?” Limestone growled.

“You listen to Rammstallion?!” Flash gawped.

“It follows from what Flashie said—and of course I do, silly! We’re trying to play heavy, right? Well, I went and did some homework on what ‘heavy’ means these days!” Pinkie gave Limestone a huge wink. “And it sounds like I’m not the only one who’s brushin’ up on what’s thick and heavy, if ya know what I mean?”

Limestone’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment at Pinkie’s crack about her bottom—to say nothing about what Flash had just belted out! She turned her eyes down toward the bass tabs resting on her lap, as if she might find answers there. But all it did was remind her how difficult one of the songs was, which led her on a short trip from frustration, to general anger, and to specifically being mad about the lyrical indecency that she’d just heard.

She sneered at him. “What kind of immature crap is this, shouting out how much you wanna go home with a girl just ’cause she’s got a… a…”

“Fat bottom?” Pinkie offered.

“Right!”

Pinkie shrugged and cocked her head to the side. “Well, I mean, if you were gonna go home with someone, wouldn’t you kinda want some meat on their bones?”

Limestone turned a look of wide-eyed incredulity on her.

Flash tensed, but after a moment’s hesitation, he grabbed one of the chairs off the stack by the window and sat down, straddling it. “Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t notice you guys when I came in. I guess I got into the music. I mean, you heard the riffs and beat, right? It’s pretty much one of the catchiest rock songs ever.”

“So being ‘catchy’ makes it okay to go around singing about how much you want to do it with random fat girls,” Limestone snarked. “I mean, I think the whole ‘objectifying women’ thing gets overused sometimes… but the shoe fits, Charlie.”

Flash pursed his lips. “Say, Pinkie—”

“Giving privacy!” she shouted, already halfway through the door. It slammed behind her with a rattling reverberation that made Limestone’s teeth chatter.

“Limestone—”

“Don’t you ‘Limestone’ me, that was weird and you know it. What’s that song even called, anyway?”

Flash chuckled. “It’s literally called ‘Fat Bottomed Girls.’ And for what it’s worth, it’s probably one of the all-time classic rock songs. Great old band, great old song… heck, I bet your dad would’ve sung along to it back in the day… if he ever sang along to anything. No offense to your dad, I just mean… y’know.”

Despite the undercurrent of uncertainty she felt about the lyrics, Limestone couldn’t resist chuckling at the mental image of her dad bombing down the road in his old blue pickup truck, blasting his radio as loud as it would go, and bellowing “FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS!!!” at passers-by.

“And look,” Flash continued, “I know this whole dating thing is still really new for us—”

“You mean for me,” she interrupted.

“All right; sure, I mean for you. But I also mean for us. Because without you, there is no us. And I want there to be a you, and an us. I like how it’s going, and I want to keep it going.”

Without really thinking about it, Limestone squirmed a little in her seat. “But then… why sing stuff like that? I mean, you’re not some big horny rock star, right? It’s not like you go around just… like…” She gestured indistinctly with her hands.

“Doing it with random fat girls?” he echoed with a smile.

“Right. I mean… right?”

“Definitely not. That isn’t how I roll. And for what it’s worth, I don’t just mean the size thing… I like to think I’m not so shallow that it’d make a difference one way or the other. What I’m really looking for is the right girl in my age range; someone who I can make a real connection with.” He gave her a wink. “Or I was looking, until recently.”

Limestone felt heat rising in her cheeks and chest. She quickly turned her thoughts back to the lyrics themselves, seeking something that would help her to stay angry—and therefore in control—in the face of his disarming charm.

“Well… but… then, why listen to it or sing it at all? Why would you associate yourself with something that’s contrary to what you really want… and frankly antisocial? I mean, it’s not like someone couldn’t take it the wrong way if they didn’t know the song.”

“Clearly,” Flash deadpanned. But after a few moments of thought, he shrugged. “Because sometimes it feels really, really good to throw your head back and shout something ‘antisocial?’ I mean, it’s kind of freeing, y’know? Like have you ever been out driving on your own and just shouted whatever crazy, random stuff you felt like at the top of your lungs, safe in the knowledge that no one would hear you?”

Limestone gave him a deeper frown.

“Okay! Sorry, bad example—I forgot that you don’t have your license. But do you know what I mean? Like think about some of Maud’s lyrics… I don’t think she would actually want to have some of the stuff she writes about happen to herself or anyone else.”

“Heh. Yeah. You wanna talk about someone who’s actually super-horny…” Limestone paused for a moment, losing herself in thought. It dawned on her that she could share a relevant example from her own life, though the words seemed to catch in her throat—it was difficult trusting them with anyone else.

She locked her eyes on Flash’s, and saw both affection and acceptance returned in them. The quiet of the room and the fading light gave their conversation an almost hallowed, or confessional, air. And from that familiar feeling, Limestone felt a desire to open a part of herself to the boy who had shown her so much care and understanding, even in the relatively short time that she’d known him.

“I say things in the quarry, sometimes,” Limestone almost whispered. “Like when it’s early in the morning and everybody else is still asleep up at the house… I go out with my coffee, I pick up my pickaxe… and sometimes I swing it a couple times first, and sometimes I don’t… but I talk to it, like it’s my friend. I tell it how I’m feeling, or what I really want to do. Because I know it’s always got my back, no matter what crazy things I say to it.”

Flash blinked silently for a few moments. “Okay, that’s… pretty hot. But yeah, there you go. So I could get after you for talking to yourself—”

“To the pickaxe.”

“Still hot! Or I could guess that sometimes just getting the words out can help you decide how you feel about them, right? Well, it can be the same way with the music. Sometimes it’s more about going with the feeling of the words than what they’re really telling you. And I know not everyone gets into it that way, but for me… when I’m alone and I crank that up, pretty much the last thing on my mind is actual girls or their actual butts. For me it’s all about cutting a little bit loose and having some room to be free. And same with a lot of other lyrics in a lot of other songs—it’s not like I actually want to overthrow society, or celebrate a monster rampage.”

“Yeah, I guess we’re starting to get a few of those now that magic seems to be more of a thing,” Limestone said slowly. “I can see how it’d be good to think about that sort of thing through singing, even if you sing about the rampage itself.”

“Right. And clearly you can take it to an extreme, but that’s not really what it’s supposed to be about. Right?” Flash gave her a tentative smile.

Limestone nodded, but then blushed, smiled, and scoffed. “Some boyfriend. Singing about other girls' butts…”

Flash stood up from the chair, approached her, and took her hands in his. The warmth and strength of them brought even greater heat to Limestone’s chest, and a feeling of butterflies to her stomach.

“Limestone, first and foremost, I appreciate you for your intellect and personality.” He gently massaged her palms with his fingers, sending little tingles of sensation through her hands and down her arms, which intensified the heat she felt within. Then he leaned closer, winked, and whispered: “I'll confess, though, that I do think you have a nice bottom. Not a ‘fat’ bottom, but a bottom that looks strong and firm while sacrificing none of its curves for the muscles within. Certainly a bottom that would bear all due appreciation someday by a lucky fellow in a strong, committed, meaningful relationship with you… and your bottom.”

He pulled away, smiling subtly, and seemingly in complete control of himself. But for her part, it was all that Limestone could do to contain the raging heat and sweatiness that his words had inspired in her.

“I’ll go get Pinkie,” he said with another wink. “Wouldn’t want to miss practice with you, or your…” He simply left the words hanging as he turned away.

Limestone slumped back in her seat, fanning herself desperately with the music tabs. And it occurred to her that maybe—just maybe—they should think about adding that song to their repertoire.

Author's Note:

This was a request for AandWguy and Darkstarling, who separately requested: "Anything with Flash and Limestone again," and "Human Flash rocks out to Queen."

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Anyone who says they haven't been in Flash's shoes either doesn't listen to enough music or is lying.

But then… why sing stuff like that? I mean, you’re not some big horny rock star, right?

"Limestone, their lead singer was so gay that the band was named Queen."
"You're kidding."
"I'm really not."

I was going to say something about actual rampaging monsters trying to overthrow society, but Limestone beat me to it.

Lovely addendum to the story. Thank you for it.

[howard035]

I love this chapter, but if you had a prompt about Flash rocking out to Queen, I'm surprised he's not singing about how he's the savior of the universe.

[daOtterGuy]

Howdy, hi!

My goodness, I love this story so much. You wrote such enjoyable characters through the whole story and the pie family is honestly just the best. As a fan of Flash Sentry, I also can't help but love what you've done with his character. He feels earnest and likable, plus I love the smaller touches you gave him that really show his talent in music. This is honestly, one of the best depictions of EQG Flash Sentry I have ever read.

Limestone is also such a great character. Her dynamic with her family and her personality is just super engaging. I loved reading through her journey of eventually getting together with Flash and coming to terms with what she wants to do with her life. The resolution at the end was amazingly well done and it just really came together.

The Pie family dynamic was also just so great. Everyone was their own flavour of weird and it all meshed into this really tight-knit wholesome family that I couldn't get enough of. I in particular love Igneous Pie the best in the Pie family because of his just really earnest personality and how he's just trying his best to be a good father (he is). This also has one of my favourite depictions of Pinkie in her emotional maturity plus your Marble and Maud are just stellar. ​

The musical themes of the story as well and how you wrote Limestone's growing passion for it were also superb.

The story was just super fun start to finish, and I couldn't bring myself to even pause for a moment as I basically speed read through the whole amazing thing. It was a wild ride and I loved it all the way through. Honestly, I just absolutely adored this whole story.

Thank you so much for the fic!

[Bicyclette]

some fun bits of worldbuilding here, with the monster rampage songs, joining invoking Harmony as keeping this world from being completely set in our universe. though i admit, it does feel weird to finish out the story on what really does feel to be, as the title says, a "bonus track". i was hoping for a little slice-of-life of a scene further into their relationship, which this is, but the focus really did seem to be on the prompt of centering it around the titular Queen track, rather than really adding to the story as a whole.

but i can only say that because the complete story really was a work of beauty. the depth and intricacy of your Pie family characters and dynamics are the best i've ever read on this site, and i love these mature and empathetic versions of both Flash and Sunset. the banter was top-notch, too, while being so very true to the characters. really great stuff.

[iAmSiNnEr]

Sometimes I wonder what gravitates me to stories like this. I mean, yeah, this time I was persuaded by a friend, but I was shocked I never read this before. I like to think of myself as an avid fimfic reader, but upon discovering this story I realized I was woefully ignorant. I need to get around more!

Anyways, about the story;

Limestone, limestone, limestone. What is it with her name? It just sounds so nice rolling off the tongue. Gah, I'm rambling as usual. Limestone is a well written character, although at the start I was a little hesitant about proceeding into the story from the first chapter alone; but pushing through made it worth my time.

We see a homeschooled Limestone, we threw me off guard a little, but sure! Later on she reads weird poetry. I love weird poetry. (To be fair, it's my opinion. It's probably not weird.) Honestly, the interactions between Flash and Limestone were hilarious, and at times endearing.

Sometimes I wonder if I should scroll the lower end of random pairings in the romance section. This story really convinced me that rare pairings are definitely relevant to their names; they are rare gems to be found, and beautiful ones at that once polished up correctly.

But of course, I can't forget to mention the subtle nods to music references. The story wouldn't be nearly as good without some of those references. The author also let me enjoy said music by inserting links, to which I am very grateful.

Although, minor nitpick; pacing might be a little too fast? I'd still read it, and I'm a fast pacer myself, but some people don't enjoy fast paced romance, so you might wanna take note of that. Of course, I'm just a lowly reader, so what do I know? Technically, note, not pacing, but in terms of how much time passed in the story. Sorry about my phrasing there.

This story is certainly interesting, incorporating a well-done love triangle and just overall endearing and funny characters. Side characters and supporting cast were written well wherever they were given time to shine, and I loved the story. Thanks for writing, CM, and I hope you continue to write more of these stories.

(and yes, I missed someone in the comment. It's very intentional. Or rather, multiple someones.)

[CoffeeMinion]

10979295
Hi there! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thank you for your comment. I enjoyed Flash a great deal and always wanted to see him come into his own more in EqG. The Pies are so much fun to write, too.

10988612
Thank you for your many comments! It's great seeing this story resonate with someone so strongly, even years after I wrote it. I've been away for a little bit, and you gave me some awesome things to come back to.

I acknowledge that the final short doesn't integrate as strongly with the rest of the story, though that was due to its genesis as a request to see Flash and Limestone literally just listening to Queen. I liked the scene but debated between stuffing it in a shorts anthology or tacking it on at the end here. Ultimately this seemed like the less-bad option, even if it's the odd chapter out.

10990157
I believe it was horizon who said that fandom's true joy lies in crackships played completely straight. If I've convinced you that FlashLime makes more than enough sense to justify its crackiness, I've done my job.

Your point about pacing is well taken. This story was part of my education about how crucial and challenging the pacing is in a romance. I've tried to learn and improve, though I also still enjoy this for what it is.