It was only a spot.
A little black stain in the middle of the white void that was Trixie’s world. Barely even noticeable, but it was a black imperfection in the otherwise perfect white.
She tried to focus on it. It was the first thing she saw that wasn’t a product of her imagination. It also seemed to be moving. Not actually going anywhere, just a small quivering. Trixie wondered how long had it been there. But then again, there was no way to tell time in the void, and even now she couldn’t even begin to guess. It was like the very concept of time was like all other physical elements inside the void; non-existent.
Yet the black spot was there, existing and occupying the totality of Trixie’s world.
Before, she hadn’t been sure she had senses to perceive, as the white void was exactly that, a void; full of nothing, not even space. But now, Trixie could see something -the black spot- and that point of reference allowed her to orient everything she knew around it. There was something else in here with her, which meant there had to be space for it to be in. She could see, therefore there was light that would bounce on the spot and to her…
Trixie realized that she needed a sense of sight to be able to see anything, which also meant her other senses, and by extension, her body, existed too. Out of reflex, Trixie moved a trembling limb in front of her. Instead of the dark blue paw with sharp claws she was expecting to see, she was met with an azure foreleg ended in a smooth hoof. She moved quickly, inspecting her body; four legs, azure coat, slightly above average height, cornflower and silver mane and tail. Reaching up, she could even feel her horn. Trixie felt inside her mouth, missing the four fangs she had grown accustomed to.
Finally, Trixie slowly lowered her gaze to her own chest. She closed her eyes out of fear. She sat there like that, still being unable to tell how much time had passed, but her curiosity eventually won out. Trixie opened her eyes slightly, expecting to find the marks of the Amulet on her chest, or worse. But there was nothing, only her blue coat. As a final test, she put a hoof to her neck. Trixie felt her own pulse for the first time in longer she was willing to admit.
Trixie was finally free of the Alicorn Amulet.
And she would have never discovered it if it wasn’t for the black spot, filling the white void with existence and giving Trixie back hers.
She started to theorize about the spot, thinking what could it be, what would she want it to be, and what she didn’t. When she had the first three theories fleshed out, she tried to combine them, maybe even unify the ideas that could help her define the nature of the black spot. Trixie’s thoughts evolved the perception of the spot into entire cosmologies surrounding this mysterious part of her very limited universe.
Trixie was also able to sort of measure time too, through the beating of her own heart. Just the thought of that made her immensely happy. She kept trying to figure out the spot’s existence, which ended up giving her the hope of understanding her own situation and maybe finding a way to get back to the physical world. With the return of her body also came some of Trixie’s memories. They weren’t all there, mainly the broad outlines of who she was, but she did remember her friends, and she wanted to get back at them. For that, her only hope was the black spot, literally the only thing available for her.
Growing tired of thinking, Trixie took a leap of faith and reached out for the spot with her magic. It was the first time in ages since she did so, but it was still an essential part of her. It was like walking again after an extended period of being still. Like drinking for the first time after crossing the desert. Like breathing after emerging from underwater. The feeling of Trixie’s horn igniting was invigorating in its energy and encouraging in the memory. She focused on the black…
Crack.
The black spot was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a fissure, looking like a jagged crack, was in front of her. Trixie tried to move closer, but her body was floating still in the void. However, there was movement from the black crack. Like the spot, it was quivering. Unlike the spot, it did so at steady intervals. Very familiar intervals. Trixie focused on it, trying to figure out why the intervals seemed so familiar.
Then, when counting the time again, Trixie realized that the black crack was pulsing in perfect synchronization with her own heart.
It was also spreading, a little more with each pulse.
Trixie stood still, mesmerized by the only thing happening for her. The crack became bigger and bigger, growing quicker by each pulse, reaching twice Trixie’s own size. That’s when she realized that the black was replacing the white in her space. The black stained an effective half of her vision and then some more. Trixie couldn’t tell if the blackness was overtaking the infinite void, or if it was surrounding her. Whatever it was, there was a very small portion of white behind her, closing just as she turned her head to have one last glimpse of it. Unlike the white, which gave her the sense of infinite, the black was oppressing. Trixie felt enclosed, trapped by the dark mass.
“STOP!” she shouted, mostly out of despair than expecting anything to happen.
To Trixie’s surprise, the black retreated from the small spot of white. Almost immediately, it went back to be only an element of the white void, instead of dominating it. The black mass stood in front of Trixie, still pulsating, only it was changing form. From the center, four lumps of it extended downwards like limbs. Then a bigger one upwards. It took definition too. The fractured edges that extended like cracks now changed into a smooth outline. The five lumps took more definition, too; four slim pointing down and the round one up. Trixie couldn’t decide if it was fear or curiosity that kept her from screaming again, but she kept herself silent, gazing over the spectacle.
When it finally stilled the black had become a perfect silhouette of Trixie’s body.
Pony and shadow stood unmoving in front of each other.
“Uh, hello?” Trixie greeted it, cocking her head and raising her left hoof. To her surprise, the shadow copied her motions. She moved her hoof from a side to another, something the shadow also imitated. Trixie’s confusion only increased, but at the same time, an idea crossed her mind. She and the shadow sat down, while Trixie began thinking things through.
“You will do everything I do?” She said without moving anything but her lips. The shadow didn’t do anything. Trixie took note of it being only a silhouette, without a mouth to move.
“I guess I will do the talking, then,” Trixie said aloud. “You know, I once thought you were all of creation.” She chuckled. “Way back when you were only a tiny black spot.” She put her hooves closer to each other and laughed a little when the shadow did the same. “Not gonna lie, I still don’t know what are you.” She lay on her belly, resting her hooves over the smooth surface of the void. “But you make a good listener.”
Trixie yawned. “So, I don’t expect you have the shadow of a deck of cards, don’t you?” The shadow shook its head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Trixie closed her eyes and rested her head on her forelegs, but once her mind registered what just happened, she rose up almost in a jump. “Did you just move?!”
The shadow, still sitting on the ground, only nodded.
“Alright, there are only two options here,” Trixie began trotting around the silhouette, seeing how they were still connected by the hooves, like a real shadow. “The first one is that I’ve finally and understandably lost it.” Trixie got closer and put a hoof over the shadow’s surface on the floor. It was smooth and cold, like touching a fine ceramic. The shadow moved its gaze towards Trixie’s hoof. “Or you are actually here, wherever ‘here’ is, and this is really happening.”
The shadow looked back at Trixie and nodded again. She sighed, drawing back her hoof and turning away. “Damn, I was hoping it would be the former.” Trixie looked over her shoulder. “I was actually looking forward to it.”
“Whatever.” She shrugged as the shadow trotted to her side. They both sat down as Trixie looked back at it. “I’ll guess you’re supposed to be that thing that took control out there?” The shadow cocked its head. “Yes, I remember enough of that.” The shadow’s only reply was to look away, avoiding Trixie’s gaze. “Calm down, I’m not as angry as I should be,” Trixie reassured it. “But I do want answers.” The shadow gazed back at her, ears at attention, and slowly nodded.
“Does that mean that you truly are Trixie’s shadow?” It shrugged, raising a hoof and spinning it from side to side.
“What do you mean ‘kinda sorta’?” The shadow tapped a hoof over its chest.
“Oh,” Trixie looked away this time. “You mean you come from the Alicorn Amulet?” The shadow nodded, but after that it also pointed at Trixie.
“Alright, now you’re just plain unclear.” Trixie stomped her hooves as she got up. “Which one are you?!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at the shadow. Its only reply was to nod again.
“Agh!” Trixie’s hooves trembled as she threw her head back in frustration. “Can’t you give me a straight answer?” The shadow gazed back. Then it shrugged.
“Seriously?” Trixie cocked her head. “Isn’t there any way you can, I don’t know, at least communicate with more than hooves and gestures? Because just between you and I, Trixie sucks at charades, so we’d be here a very long time.” The shadow’s ears perked as it got up. It pointed with a hoof at Trixie’s horn and nodded. Then, it pointed one at its own horn and shook its head.
“Alright, you have no magic,” Trixie replied. “So?” The shadow trotted closer to her, making Trixie feel uncomfortable, although she didn’t know why. It once again pointed at Trixie’s horn, while pointing at its own at the same time. Then it nodded.
Trixie was going to reply, asking what that would mean. But then an image flashed in the back of her head. It was herself in the middle of a lonely road, putting the Alicorn Amulet for the first time. She remembered having to accept the Amulet’s magic in order to use it. Trixie realized that she didn’t know why she remembered that, but had a suspicion. She looked directly at the shadow, which stood quiet, but gazing up at her horn.
“Let me get this straight,” Trixie rubbed her the bridge of her nose. “You can’t use your own magic, so you want to use mine, right?” The shadow nodded excitedly.
“Is there any catch? Because the last time I agreed to something like that, I ended up here.” The shadow shook its head quickly. “How can I be even sure this is not a trick?” The shadow put a hoof over its chest, making a small cross, then it opened both hooves and finally put one hoof over its eye. Trixie stood dumbfounded at the gestures.
Out in the real world, Pinkie felt a twinge in her hind-leg muscles and a wave of nausea roll through her gut.
“Someone just made a Pinkie Promise,” she said out of reflex. Then she felt a small twitch in the back of her right hoof. “And it’s unclear if it’s honest.” She squinted her eyes.
“Alright, first of all, how do you know that?” Trixie pointed at the shadow with a hoof. “And secondly, that doesn’t really assure me you’re not lying.” Trixie looked to both sides, then above and up, then back and forward. There was white in every direction, except where the shadow was projected over.
“But then again, what else is there to do here?” Trixie ignited her horn. “Alright, I’ll lend you some magic.” Trixie somehow knew how to do it, probably the same reason she could interpret the shadow’s gestures, as the shadow’s horn got enveloped in the same violet aura. “But one misstep and I’ll just ignore you the rest of our time here.” She chuckled, thinking it was probably the worst threat ever, but at the same time, it was the only one she could really make.
The shadow nodded once again, as it looked to a side and pointed its horn.
A square of purple light appeared in the space next to them. It looked like Trixie’s own screen spell. It was all white, but then a small silhouette of a pony appeared. It was very simplistic, almost minimalistic. From the silhouette, a smaller one grew under it. Next to the first figure, another one sporting wings appeared. This one also grew a shadow under it. Under then, a third drawing of a unicorn appeared with its own shadow too. An alicorn and its shadow also joined the three.
Trixie felt how more of her magic was being directed at the illusion as more drawings appeared. First a griffon, then a sea serpent, then a dragon and so on. The screen soon was full of silhouettes picturing almost every species Trixie knew of and then some she couldn’t recognize. The only thing in common in all of the small drawing was that each one of them had a shadow.
All the drawings then disappeared and were replaced by a more familiar one. It was a black and white version of Trixie’s own cutie mark, also projecting a shadow under it. At first, Trixie didn’t know how to react, but that changed when a second drawing appeared. It was a triangle with wings and an unicorn’s head. It was noticeably smaller than her cutie mark, but Trixie couldn’t help feeling a chill on her back nonetheless.
It quickly shifted to fright when the Alicorn Amulet was placed above her own cutie mark, touching the upper tip of the star. When that happened, the shadow of Trixie’s cutie mark began to retreat. As it did so, the drawing’s white parts began filling with black, until the cutie mark was turned into a pitch black silhouette. It also began to grow. Trixie felt how the shadow was pulling more and more magic as it continued, and so abruptly cut the flow.
She yanked her head away, panting. Trixie didn’t want to look up. She didn’t want to see more. She didn’t want to even think about it. She wanted to go back to being alone. Shutting her eyes tightly, Trixie tried to ignore everything, but when she did so, a cold and smooth thing touched her shoulder. It took all of Trixie’s willpower to not jump away at the feeling and only look back. However, she couldn’t help but wince and recoil away when she saw her own shadow standing right in front of her, no longer projected on the ground.
“What are you?!” Trixie shriked in fear. Her shadow only pointed a hoof back at her and then extended both to its sides. Trixie remembered some words said with her own voice.
“The dark side of the world,” Trixie repeated. “Present in everything and everyone who has a shadow.” She looked back at her shadow and then down, checking that their hooves were still connected. “So, the Amulet never took possession of me? Only empowered my own evils?” Trixie felt the weight of what she was saying. “Am I a monster?”
Her shadow shook its head and forelegs vigorously. It then pointed at itself.
“But you’re just another part of me,” Trixie protested.
Trixie’s shadow pointed at her with a hoof and at itself with another. It then put both hooves together.
“So what if I can be good too? You are the one who won in the end.” She looked down, trying to hide her tears. “Now we’re paying the price for it, trapped forever in this white void.”
A black hoof lifted Trixie’s chin. Her shadow was shaking its head again, only this time slower.
“No?” Trixie’s shadow kept shaking its head. “What do you mean by ‘no’?” Her shadow only stood still as she looked around them. “Last time I checked, the freaking Elements of Harmony sent us here.” Trixie’s shadow shrugged. “Okay, you got that point, but it did take a millennium for the last two guys who escaped to figure that one out.” Her shadow quickly raised a hoof in the air. “Did I say a magic word?”
Trixie’s shadow nodded excitedly. It lifted its right hoof and then its left one. Then, it put them together and lifted them together higher, only separating them to entirely extend its forelegs aside.
“You mean we can be free?” Trixie took a few steps back. “If we do it together?” This time there we no more gestures. Instead, Trixie’s shadow trotted closer to her until they were only a hoof away from each other. Two slits of red appeared in the shadow’s face, slowly opening like eyes. Trixie’s shadow raised its left hoof. Trixie looked down at it, seeing the Alicorn Amulet being offered to her.
“If I do this,” she took a step forward, swallowing her fears. “I won’t be your puppet again.” Trixie extended her left hoof too. “That’s my condition.” She lowered her head, looking directly at her shadow’s eyes. “Understood?”
A third slit appeared over Trixie’s shadow’s snout. It was bright red too, like its eyes, and curved into a smile. Slowly, it opened wider, as if about to speak.
“To… Ge… Ter.” The voice was Trixie’s own, only deeper. It once again made the motions of the Pinkie Promise. This, somehow, didn’t really assure Trixie.
The back of Pinkie’s head was violently assaulted by an astonishing amount of small twitches.
“Why?!” Pinkie looked at the heavens, shaking at the uneasy feeling. “Who is making these morally ambiguous Pinkie Promises?!”
Trixie sighed, taking her time to feel her own heart racing. She didn’t want to forget that feeling. After blinking, she took the Amulet in her own hooves to inspect it. It felt heavier than she remembered. Besides that, it looked exactly the same as when she first saw it in the shop. The smooth metal, the small details, the admittedly good cut of the gem in the middle. She remembered admiring the design of it for a long time before putting it on the first time.
Trixie looked up to ask her shadow for one last gesture of reassurance. But when she did so, there was nothing there. Once again, Trixie was left alone in the emptiness of the white void. It was once again the flawless white as it was at the beginning; perfect and incorruptible. For a moment, Trixie considered putting the Alicorn Amulet down and going back to her dreaming. The fantasy she created when being only thought was beautiful, and she really enjoyed the eternal calm the void offered.
But.
Calm only offered so much to her. After all, she was still Trixie, the pony who craved to be Great and Powerful. How could she do anything about that by being enclosed in the middle of nowhere? She had her heritage too. The last Lulamoon, daughter of the road and the wind, wasn’t supposed to be away from the open landscapes and big skies that were her true home. And at the end, being enclosed by the Elements of Harmony took away from Trixie the only thing that really mattered to her: Her freedom.
“I do want to be free,” Trixie surprised herself saying out loud. “But I don’t want to hurt others.” She thought about her friends. She couldn’t remember their last moments together, but she could feel she was once willing to sacrifice her freedom for them.
Trixie clenched her jaw.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t just stay chained forever.” She inhaled, lifting the Alicorn Amulet. “But I promise I won’t let them get hurt.” Trixie felt the metal touching her chest.
The storm came back to Ponyville.
In the sky, the moon didn’t shine like usual, bringing the always watching light in the darkness it represented. Instead, it showed its dark side. The new moon reigned over a darker night as the clouds began to gather. Lightning furiously hit the ground as thunder roared in the distance, accompanied by the north wind’s own howl. Nature’s very elements were in revolution.
*baBum*
The first drops of water fell over the black statue of the pony turned into a demon. The drops ran down the obsidian, making it shine brighter with each flash of light in the darkness. The mist surrounded it, slowly forming a swirl around it. Once again, the north wind howled through the storm.
*baBum, baBum*
The ground under the statue began to slightly shake. The mist swirling around it was pushed away, along with small pieces of dirt. A new lightning bolt flashed in the night, but instead of white, it was red.
*baBum baBum*
Small bits of red electricity traveled over the statute’s surface. Trixie could feel her body again. She couldn’t move and her eyes were closed, but she knew she was back in the abomination she was turned into by the Alicorn Amulet.
*baBUM! baBUM!*
Trixie felt trapped inside the obsidian. The feeling ignited the rage in her. In her chest, the red marks on the stone outlining the Alicorn amulet shone brightly. The obsidian began to crack, creating a small network of glowing red fissures.
*BABUM! BABUM!*
Two sets of claws broke free from the black stone, stretching and then pressing on the pedestal under them, crushing its border. The rest of Trixie’s body followed, first contracting, only to violently stretch out, sending away the bits of obsidian.
*BABUM! BABUM!*
Trixie, still on her hindlegs, roared in the night. When she opened her eyes, they were glowing in the same red as the marks on her chest. There was a red aura surrounding her, but it wasn’t the smooth magic of a pony. It was the cascading one of a power above mortals, way beyond their darkest nightmares. Trixie fell down on her four paws. The aura around her stretched out and dissipated, as the glow in her chest and eyes slowly shut down.
A small group of beings across the world, all of them linked in some way or another, felt the disturbance. The younger ones, just recently connected to the great scheme, barely noticed it enough to think anything of it. Some of the older ones, who had a life of learning to lead their minds, had to meditate carefully of what just happened. Only three of these beings really understood that something with the world had changed.
The Avatar of Darkness was awake again.
Trixie was alive!
I find this both interesting and confusing.
Fear them Roaders of the Night, for they be nasty buggers.
The Trixie's shadow antic is funnily hilarious. Great! Thank you for bracing the sea of elementary school girls.
So far so good, the shadow Trixie 'conversation' was awesome, but with dark, horror and tragedy tags i'm kinda worried Trixie will not be getting her promised break from all the crap she went through in the previous story.
Hmmm you just love being all vague about this, don't you?
Still good build up though I found the overall arc a bit too dragging so far. Hope things will speed up a bit now that Trixie is free.
8388871
Well, unlike with Dead, here Trixie is alone, which cuts a big deal of the information flow. Especially since she's the POV character. Hope the interesting part outdoes the confusing.
8388910
After all the insomnia invested on this chapter, I can only say one thing to that: Motherf---er!
8389003
I loved making Trixie's shadow. Although it was hard to keep its nature as ambiguous as possible. The "everyone has a shadow" bit was sincerely the hardes, as we couldn't be completely certain that it would be clear for the reader what it meant.
8389420
Promise? What promise are you talking about? I never signed anything about this 'bre-ak' you're talking about...
: You, motherb---er!
8389475
With my inspiration being Edgar Allan Poe, yes, I do enjoy being as ambiguous as possible.
And yeah, this is Monter's equivalent to the hospital room from Dead. Apparently is a mark of our storytelling to have a first act that moves at iceberg speed. But don't worry. So far, the second act has only 4 chapters, and all of them will be 'faster'.
8389975
I meant the chapter and the amulet's actions
8389980
Oh, right. Well, in that case, I hope you enjoyed it so far.
8390006
I have
8390015
Neat.
So let me see if I understand this story's events and revealed plot right:
1) Trixie was turned into an obsidian statue alongside Discord by the EoH at the end of Dead.
2) Discord was freed by the EoH during the prologue.
3) For the chapter after that, we get to see a freed-from-obsidian, walking-reference Trixie attempt to recall who/what she is and stumble across the yet-to-be repaired Treebrary, as well as some glimpses into what she experienced while petrified.
4) We see Trixie start to recall memories of her previous unlife, but is unable to recall the events that happened directly prior to her petrification, as well as a reference to the plot of a previous Generation of the show in the form of Trixie's imagination running wild while petrified.
5) Trixie, now knowing who she is, but without knowledge of what happened, wants to find one of her friends to help her fill in the blanks, and due to a convenient Jack Sparrow's compass reference, is able to locate Lightning Dust. She then proceeds to breaking and entering LD's apartment by unknowingly using magic.
6) We as the readers learn that Lightning Dust has been having nightmares about what happened that resulted in her being permanently grounded, immediately followed by her waking up and finding Trixie in her apartment.
7) Trixie inquires to an understandably confused and terrified LD about what happened to the Library, which results in a semi-angry response from LD telling Trixie that she was responsible for what happened.
8) Trixie starts to break down after hearing that, and Lightning tries to leave to get Twilight, but Trixie uses a semi-instinctive sleep spell with a claw gesture to stop her.
9) And now we see the final things that happened during Trixie's imprisonment, of which the three most important things I took away was these: a) Trixie made a deal with her own shadow/inner darkness that if she accepted the Amulet's power again, that she would have total control over it, one's shadow/inner darkness is only capable of making a morally ambiguous Pinkie Promise, much to Pinkie's discomfort, and c) some, purposefully made vague, group of individuals sense when Trixie is freed, of which only three knew instantly what occurred.
Do I have that right, for the most part?
8390953
Pretty much. That's actually a quite good summation. The only one I'd put on YMMV/WMG would be 9. Yes, the bargain is "sell soul (again), get free", but we have no indication of most of the details, neither of the workings around it. Also, we already let some idea of whom the beings may be. At least one of them.
I believe I said something to this tune before in my AID mega review, but I really like non linear narratives, and having this introductory sequence at the end of the act rather than the start makes the whole thing feel a little longer, and it has the added bonus of making the whole act feel like it came -- or is coming -- full circle and not ending abruptly or on a cliffhanger, sometimes literally. That being said, I believe that non linearity should be used in moderation, and the fact that we're four chapters deep with Trixie still in Ponyville is exactly the reason why.
Don't get me wrong, I love this introduction and Trixie's internal exploration , but with the first story taking place mostly in Ponyville, I'm anxious to see a change of scenery, and just what kind of a world you and Night can create. I also want to see who these new folks are. I'm 90% certain on who two of them are, 50% on the third, and the rest are completely up in the air, but I'm hoping their'll be some familiar faces within that group.
And when the shadow started making the Pinkie Promise™, I immediately thought that it was actually was Pinkie engaging in some sort of astral projection. That wasn't totally the case, but I'm sure its something she is totally capable of. She's already broken the fourth wall multiple times, so projecting herself into different dimensions/realities would be within her skillset.
Anyway, this was a great, albeit slow start, and it looks like the upcoming second act should pick up the pace a bit... hopefully...
so, that happened, Trixie made a deal with her darker self i guess? I suck at charades, and reading about charades is even worse for me. I honestly can’t wait for Trixie to meet back with everyone for realzies. As long as she doesn’t mutilate them... again. Dusty will have a heart attack I’m sure.
8392827
I do understand the problem. We ended up running in the same way we did in the beginning of Dead, only with an hospital room instead of Ponyville. However, although mostly accidental, I'd like to point out the parallel. Is not a promise per se, but if the original featured a room to precede a town, then a town will precede [redacted]. With that said, the theme of the last two chapters was to build up anxiety more than expectation. That feeling you have when you don't want the thing that comes to happen, but there's a need to know what is it.
But yeah, we will move on in the second act. You guys will get a look on the kind of world that can feature pastel colored ponies and soul-eating amulets. As I said in one of the author's notes, I've been rereading all the material I can get my hands into that could be useful. Nosferatu, Spawn, History of the Blanks, Death Note...
Also, I'd love to know what is your theory on the "beings connected to the great scheme". Of course, I'll be unable to confirm or deny anything, but curiosity burns.
P.S.: If Trixie is Spawn, Pinkie will end up as Deadpool. I see her more as Ambush Bug, personally, but Deadpool is the known one.
8400067
Oh, boy. When that happens, it will be loud. Trixie is not only back to being with the Amulet, but this time, she actually chose it... again.
8404010
When will she learn not to make deals with evil artifacts?
8404049
Well, in Trixie's defense, she isn't making deals with artifacts in plural. Then again, it means she tripped with the exact same stone twice.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/12/4/172067__safe_trixie_magic+duel_trip_tripsie.png
8405062
Once again, the imagery comes heavily from comic books. The idea of a void that's only broken by a small spot that represents the contrast between two concepts comes from Grant Morrison (again). In the original, it was to show how madness was taking over, while here, it means [redacted].
And, oh boy, Atlanta's Highway has nothing on the ride we're about to get. Strap in, get your chrome paint, your V8 car and ride with me into the eternal highways of Walhalla. Forever Shiny and Chrome.
WITNESS!
Having just read both Dead and now this story all this week, and coming off the Daring Done episode, I can't help but picture Trixie's monster form as being somewhat similar to the Sphinx.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/9/4/1527281/full.png
Got the paws, fangs (or at least pointy teeth), and long thin tail (tho with a puff rather than a point) going on. Change color, remove wings, add horn, shrink a bit.
That kinda ballpark-ish?
Hmmmmm...
After having binge-read the previous story over two nights, there is only one thing I can say.
Well, actually, I'll let James Wilson say it for me...
8428193
You know what, not exactly what I had in mind, but I admit the similarities. When 'sketching' Monster!Trixie, I had in mind claws like Spike's; extending from the hand directly, with no clear division between fur and claw. Like in this image:
derpicdn.net/img/2014/6/4/644906/large.png
But now you put the Sphinx, I guess it fits too. The operating principle here is that Trixie is a chimera, in the metaphoric sense. Although she can be recognized as a beast, there's no clear way to say which kind. Something like an archetype of monster. Like the Monsterbots, from Transformers:
orig00.deviantart.net/f2cf/f/2011/089/2/1/218ddc57659941bd3e1a51241ea56e75-d3csypd.jpg
8429703
Well, hope you enjoy this one as much as Nightwalker and I enjoyed writing it.
8431207
So far, very much so. The first few chapters with their "dual" perspective were most interesting, stylistically speaking. It kept me trying to figure out which was the more true version of Trixie's mind, which was more the reality to her. I'm still not sure which is, maybe both? I'll have to wait and see where this strange torpedo takes me. Regardless, I'm already certain it will be somewhere both unexpected and solidly entertaining.
I do believe I'm going to give you one more tick on the Followers count. Nightwalker too, for that matter.
8437042
Oh, then the "imaginary pony" was an unintentional reference or just very similar to the Crooked Man poem.
It was very well written still.
8431535
Yeah, Nightwalker and I went full expressionist in this intro. I'd dare to say even a narrative equivalent of Caligari. I think that in the upcoming chapter 5, you will get a more linear narrative and a clearer image of what happened/is happening, with one last 'wham' in the end.
And thnks for the follows.
8437069
OoooooooooooooOOOOOOoooooooOOOOooooh.
You see, the Imaginary Pony was a redux of The Imaginary Man, by Nicanor Parra, a Chilean Poet (or anti-poet, as he calls himself, very surrealist). Hard to tell if he knew about the Crooked Man poem beforehand, but it is probable he heard a variation and redeveloped it with the imaginary man, which has become his signature poem.
8437164
Ah! Now that makes much more sense.
8438922
Yes, that sequence of words I said makes perfect sense.
8439157
Suuuure, it was all an intentional testimony of my writing skills. Anything else, blame the lag.
8440703
more please
8440703
needs more
8492967
8493049
We're working on it. It's taking more than expected, but it will come out... eventually.
Trixie felt inside her mouth, missing the four fangs she had grown accustomed too
Next to the first figure, another one sporting wings appeared. This one also grew a shadow under it. Under then, a third draw of a unicorn appeared with its own shadow too
1. To.
2. Under them, a third drawing of a unicorn.
Finally caught up and now that the pieces are together things are going to get rough. The story so far has us feel what Trixie is feeling in a sense. One can never immediately remember what they were dreaming or perhaps something got shoved back into their subconscious mind that they'll only realise the gravity or the reality of it later. This is what happened with those flashbacks, this is what happened with the present and those flashbacks are what represent Harmony so far I'd be goddamned terrified of losing my own mind. One has to wonder how Discord didn't go insane if he wasn't already from that kind of experience.
8533384
Oh boy, things are going to get weird as f soon enough. Although the dream/reality narrative is mostly a thing of the first act, we do have more for the remaining two. As said before, while "I'm Dead" happens all inside a single place and has mostly an internal focus, "Monster" goes to the oposite direction.
On the stone thing, one could argue that Discord is already insane. As noted in the opening narration, he has the oposite problem, as the enclosure is so pacific that he risk going sane.
8591075
Stronk as ever. Shame I don't have as much reading time as I used to have...
8683946
Well, I've had a (un)healthy lack of time to write up, so I guess we're balanced out. :P
8685352
Nah, it's fine. The less I remember from previous chapters the more the new ones are abstract. And it's a good thing.
Well, I was trying to start writing myself on multiple occasions. So I perfectly know what you mean.
8685766
The vest advice I can give you is to just take the jump blind. Write whatever you have in mind. It's an experience on itself and does help later,
8689381
I mean I have only 2 ideas which have a solid idea for begging the story. I think too long term and it kindda kills most tries.
You intrested in proof-reading or editing, man?
8696261
I'd love to help. I don't promise it will be any better than creative consult, or that it will be delivered on time, but I'll do what I can.
8696426
Give me some time to scratch together 2 or 3 chapters. I just hope you like sci-fi...
8697370
Do I? Dude, yes, please. Bring it.
8698594
Like a week. I need to solidyfy a vision and I have a couple exams.
So Trixie has spent so much time alone with the amulet that she and the amulet have separated themselves personality wise and it is this that has allowed her to escape the stone imprisonment? Also, if they were able to find so little information on the amulet, how did Trixie know about it? She not only knew what it was, but where to find it and how many bits to bring to persuade the shopkeeper to part with it.
Has Twilight now become an alicorn?
With the amount of power needed to release her from the stone, who all felt Trixie breaking free. Does the fact that she was incased in a different type of stone indicate that she was held in a stronger prison?
8775013
Really sorry for not answering sooner. Internship is like a black hole that consumes time.
First of all, I can't give a straight answer to the personalities issue. Back in Dead, Trixie already had problems of identity and self-image which she admitted. There were also the moments when the Amulet had full control that look like either a personality takeover or possession. How much of it is Trixie's own psyche and how much is the Amulet's, plus what can be a combination of both, is up to interpretation for the time being.
On the information thing, I can be more straightforward. The Amulet has recorded appearances through history, and more often than not, it drops off the map between each event, which fules its shrouded in myth nature. Trixie, being a profession storyteller, is already familiar with Equestrian mythology and is not farfetched she has heard and even tell stories about the Amulet. Also, she was looking for any powerful item, as she discussed with Twilight, the amulet being the one she got (un)lucky with. On the price, Trixie probably just dropped the bag to establish she had a way to pay, and later bargained for a more exact amount than "a bag of bits".
Can't tell if Twilight is an alicorn, but I can give you what to have in account. Due to the experience with Trixie, she's become way more cautious in the use of unknown magic. Same applies to Celestia, who didn't cut the diary's description for a lesson's sake. The next chapter (whenever it comes) will actually go into detail on how the investigation has gone and how the timeline got [redacted] so far.
The different type of stone was mostly an artistic choice. Again, without going into much detail, the Amulet draws from a source of power that rivals Discord, but not the Elements. As I said, the following chapter will give you a localization in the timeline and that will hopefully add the missing piece on how it managed to escape.
Until then, take care. Thanks for reading.
More please.
Damn, reading through this a second time.... What a way to leave a story, gg author. I'll try and put it out of my mind until it updates again, the hardest waits are always for the stories one finds most interesting. :(
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Mea culpa, mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
Seriously, I've been trying to get this back on track. Up to the point that the g-docs is now in my start windows each time I open chrome. But university, and life, and stuff. I'm on it.
Still, thanks a lot for reading, and I'm glad to know you liked it.
8954785
GOOD.
8954785
Well that's good to hear. Besides... not the longest chapter break on a story I follow, even taking into account the fact that someone(you) is still actively working on it. For example Dexter's Lab: Equestria, a story I consider just as good, is coming up 1 and a half years between chapters, and I know the author hasn't stopped working on it. Your chapters are about 4-10 times shorter so... hopefully you don't run into the same problem.