The Desperate Journals of Starlight Glimmer

by Arararagi

Entry #1

My name is Starlight Glimmer. I am currently unable to escape from the bizarre circumstances in which I find myself. Sometimes I think I'm cursed, and this is my punishment for trying to change the past. Other times, I just want to give up. It is my good friends who keep me going, who give me strength. Without them, I would have gone insane long ago. Then again, maybe I am insane. At this point, it's hard to tell.

I'm writing this because so much has happened, because if I don't write this down now, I may not get another chance. I'm writing this because I'm not sure if I'll ever escape, and I want to at least leave this behind if I don't make it. If you're reading this, and I'm gone forever, I want you to give this journal to Twilight, or one of the Princesses. I want you to tell my friends and family I still love them. I don't want to leave without saying goodbye, but this may be the best I can manage.

It all started one morning, after I woke up from a strange dream.

June 11th, 1248 R.C. (Reign of Celestia)

The royal throne room in Canterlot Castle was quite a sight to behold. Stained glass windows adorned both walls, and there were royal guards posted everywhere I look. Everything looked a little off, though. There was a strange, mist-like haze over the room, and I was unable to make out anypony's faces except Princess Celestia's. I would compare the experience to scrying, but even then this was a bit different. The most unusual part, was that I seemed to be looking through somepony else's eyes. I could not control where I looked, what I saw, or when I blinked. In my confusion, I tried to cancel any scrying spell I might have cast, but it was no use. I was stuck along for the ride.

Princess Celestia was sitting in her throne, looking positively radiant as ever. She was addressing her subjects as they brought their concerns to her. Though the exact words were lost, I could hear her soothing, gentle tones as she answered some, and her ever so slightly harsher tones as she admonished others.

This continued for a few minutes before Celestia ordered one of the servants away. Moments later, they returned with some freshly brewed tea. Continuing to listen to her current guest in the royal court, she began to sip her tea quietly. Then, it happened.

I saw it. I saw Princess Celestia starting to choke. She coughed over and over as her radiant mane started to loose its magical sheen. Her servants rushed to her side immidiately, and the guards were put on high alert. In moments, several unicorns I can only assume were doctors (but could not be sure due to the haze) were trying to diagnose the problem. The tension in the room was palpable until, after what felt like an eternity, we all knew what we had just witnessed. The ponies surrounding the Princes slowly drew back and lowered their heads. Some were openly weeping, while others were merely speechless.

Princess Celestia was dead.

********

I woke up in my bed, sweating profusely. A quick glance outside told me it was just before sunrise. I groaned and tried to shake my head of that awful dream I had. I went to the filly's room, brushed my mane, and splashed some cold water on my face. I smiled at my surroundings. Twilight had helped me move all of my stuff into my own personal suite. It even had its own bathroom, shower, sink and all. I I had only been living with Twilight in her huge castle for a few months, but it already felt like home. The thought gave me some confort, after the awful dream.

After I finished freshening up, I trotted over to the kitchen. I couldn't help but grin a little when I saw that despite my early and rude awakening, Spike had still beaten me to the kitchen. I greeted him as I entered.

"Good morning, Spike."

"Morning, Starlight." He replied simply. He was engrossed in his current task of pulverizing gems to put them on bread, which he then toasted with a weak breath of flame. I joined him in making toast, though I would just use butter and jelly and not gems. Meanwhile, my mind could not help but replay that scene from my dream, over and over.

"Starlight, are you okay? You don't look so well." Spike asked as he poked me gently in the ribs. "You started staring at the wall, and you wouldn't respond for a few minutes."

It was only then I realize that I had stopped manipulating the knife and bread held by my levitation. Despite how rattled I really was by what I had seen, (dream or not) I put on my best smile and replied, "I'm fine. Just had an awful dream."

"Oh, okay. Were you reading those scary stories again before bed?"

My ears shot up. "You knew about that!"

"Of course I did. I keep all of Twilight's books organized." He answered with some pride in his voice.

"No, I wasn't reading those old folktales." I snorted. "I'm not quite sure why myself, but I definitely had an awful dream."

"Do you want me to send a letter to Princess Luna about it?"

My ears pinned back as I thought about it. It sounded like a good idea, but at the same time, it was just one dream right? "Not yet." I replied. "I'll let you know if I have it again, though."

"Mmk." He replied through a bite of toast. There was a loud crunching noise every time Spike took a bite, no doubt thanks to the unconventional topping. I sighed and finished making my own toast, and sat down in silence to eat. Spike, having a decent head start, finished eating rather quickly, and walked off to do his morning chores. I didn't waste much time eating either, and once I finished I left a quick note for Spike and Twilight before heading out into Ponyville.

*******

I took a nice breath of fresh air as I closed the gigantic crystalline doors behind me. Celestia had graced us with a beautiful sunrise this morning, and the Pegasi had done a particularly good job clearing the skies. A perfect job it was not, however, as evidenced by a singular small cloud that hovered over the Apple Farm. Without hesitation, I headed over. This was a perfect chance to test one of my new spells.

As I approached the underside of the low-flying cloud, I concentrated on casting my spell. The spell applied some concepts I had learned from Trixie about illusions.

"Dash! Get yer lazy flank down here!" I practically growled. In my mind, I was replaying the sound of Applejack's voice over and over as I spoke. The illusion spell, which I dubbed 'Changling Voice', would do the rest and make your voice sound like the pony you were thinking of.

"Gah!" The pegasus squawked before falling of her cloud perch. She quickly plummeted and crashed into a nearby apple tree. Thankfully, she didn't have far to fall. Even so, I had to check if she was alright. I wasn't trying to hurt her, after all.

"Rainbow Dash?" I called out, letting my spell end. "Are you alright?"

A few moments later, she climes down from the tree, with a tired, grumpy look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered. "Where's Applejack?"

I suppressed a giggle as I answered, "I haven't seen her yet. I was heading over to talk to her, but I heard a shout, so I ran over here."

"Oh, I must have dreamed that then." She said, rubbing her chin with a hoof.

"Okay, well if you're fine, then I'll go find Applejack."

"Y-yeah, you go do that, but can you do me a favor and not tell Applejack I was sleeping at the farm again?"

That time I giggled. "Yeah, sure. I can do that."

The pegasus nodded before living up to her name, and flying off in a flash of rainbow colors. Once she was gone, I stopped suppressing my laughter and just laughed uncontrollably for a little while. While I was still laughing, a concerned-looking Applejack approached me.

She poked me with a hoof. "Ya alright there, Starlight?"

I took a deep breath to stop the giggles. "Yeah, I'm fine." I approached her. "You're just the pony I needed to talk to."

Applejack cocked an eyebrow, and smirked a little. "What kind of hare-brained scheme do you have this time, Starlight."

I cleared my throat. "It's not really a scheme this time. Trixie's birthday is coming up, and-"

Applejack interrupted me by putting a hoof on my shoulder. "And ya wanna surprise her with something."

"Yeah." I replied. " We've become pretty close, so I want her birthday to be special."

Applejack nodded approvingly. "Ah thought so. How can Ah help? Ah don't mind as long as it don't interfere with mah chores."

"Don't worry," I assured, "I mostly want your supervision while I build something." I put a hoof to my chin while I pondered my options for a moment. "Perhaps you could lend me Applebloom, or Big Mac for when you need to be doing chores?"

She shook her head. "Ah'm afraid that when I'm workin', they'll be workin' too most likely. But it sounds like that shouldn't be a problem. What are ya tryin' ta build?"

I described my plan to surprise Trixie on her birthday in more detail. I had planned in quite a bit of detail, and had even packed my notes in my saddlebags.

*******

The sun was setting, and it was time to head back home for the night. Applejack had been a great help, and Applebloom and her friends had done a good deal of the legwork. The plan was coming together, she just needed one more day to get everything prepared. Everything was proceeding right on schedule.

I opened the door to the castle. Everything was dark. The candles and torches that normally lit the crystalline hallways were still unlit.

As I reached out with my magic to light the nearby torches, I called out, "Twilight? Spike? Is anypony there?" After a few moments of my voice echoing off the empty hallways, silence was my only response.

Once the hallway was properly lit, I noticed a note that had been left behind for me. I picked it up with my magic, and brought it closer.

"Starlight,

I've been summoned to Canterlot by the Princesses. They didn't say why, but apparently it's urgent. Hopefully I will be back soon.

Your mentor,

Twilight Sparkle"

At least she had the forethought to leave a note. I wondered what could be so urgent. At the time, I couldn't figure out why, but as I cleaned up the castle and went to sleep I had a palpable sense of dread. Then, I thought I was just paranoid, but now I see I was right to be afraid. Oh, how right I was.

June 12th, 1248 R.C.

I woke up having no recollection of what I dreamed that night. There was a loud banging at the front door that awoke me even earlier than I had gotten up yesterday. Slowly, I crawled out of bed and made my way towards the door. The banging continued relentlessly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled at the door. The banging stopped abruptly. I opened it to reveal two royal guards staring me right in the face.

"Are you Starlight Glimmer, ma'am?" The taller of the two stallions asked.

"Yes," I nodded. "And what can I do for you two this morning?"

"You can come with us to Canterlot." The other guard said. "Princess Twilight Sparkle has requested your presence."

I sighed. I had figured as much. "Alright, Ill go pack my things." I said, turning away from the door but,

"That won't be necessary, ma'am."

"Our orders are to take you there immediately, and by force if necessary."

"Twilight told you to do that?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, ma'am. She said you would miss it if you didn't come quickly enough."

"And she didn't say what 'it' is?"

"No."

I sighed again and rubbed my temples with my hoof. "Okay. Let's go." was all I could say at that point. The two guards very quickly loaded me into a chariot they had brought and we were on our way in less than a minute. I felt immense guilt as I realized I would miss Trixie's birthday. There was nothing I could do about it, I had royal guards escorting me, after all, but I still felt bad. It was her first birthday since we had become friends, and I had wanted to make it a fun memory.

No, there was something I could do. I pulled some parchment and a quill out of my saddlebags and quickly wrote a letter to Trixie, then looked out the window of my chariot. Carefully orienting myself, I teleported the letter to Trixie's cart. I smiled at my own genius. I didn't have to miss her birthday, I just had to change my plans a bit.

*******

"Trixie, you made it!" I squealed as I ran over and hugged Trixie tightly.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie would never ignore a letter sent to her by her Great and Powerful friend!" She replied with a smirk. "But what exactly are we going to do in Canterlot?"

"Well, first can get lunch, but then we need to go to the palace."

Her eyes widened. "You're taking Trixie to the palace? As in, the palace of the Royal Sisters?"

"Yup! Happy birthday, Trixie!"

"Trixie is impressed! She did not know you could get her into the palace!"

"Well normally I couldn't, but the opportunity came up, and I just had to take it."

"Trixie is grateful no matter how you managed it." The blue showpony said in a softer voice as she tightly returned my hug.

We ate lunch at a nearby cafe that had recently opened. It was called "Steadclaw's Coffee and Pastry", and had apparently gained a decent reputation. As we ate, I tried to explain the odd circumstances I had found myself in.

"...So now I've been summoned by Twilight to witness this important new treaty being signed with the other nations to swear their collective allegiance to Equestria and the forces of Harmony."

"Trixie does not understand. Our neighbors are swearing allegiance to Equestria? Why would they have to do that?"

"The main reason Twilight gave me was that in this treaty we promise to protect each other as best we can, as long as nopony, griffin, or changling breaks any of the tenants of the treaty. She said it's also a great symbol of trust between our races, and could help improve our relations with our neighbors."

"Trixie supposes she sees the logic there." She paused for a bit and sipped her coffee, staring out the nearby window. "So that is the real reason you are here? Because of this treaty?"

"Yeah, I'm just here to witness the signing ceremony though. It's this afternoon, and I got Twilight to get permission for you to come too."

Trixie's expression soured a bit. "Trixie hates owing Twilight anything, but Trixie is also thankful that you brought her along." Her ears folded backwards. "Trixie is not sure how to feel right now. She knows she should thank Twilight, but isn't sure she can do it."

I put my hoof on her shoulder. "I already thanked her, but if you want to I'll get her attention briefly after the ceremony. I'm sure she will wish you a happy birthday."

Trixie only nodded in response.

*******

We headed to the castle next. Security was tight as usual, or maybe tighter. I wasn't quite sure, since I had only been to Canterlot Palace once before, many years ago. Getting through wasn't an issue however. Some unicorn guards did some quick tests on us to make sure we weren't changlings, and then we were let in.

It turned out we were nearly late. Trixie and I awkwardly pushed our way through the small crowd of ponies and took our designated seats in the throne room, where the ceremony was about to start. A very large table had been set up in the center of the room, and all the diplomats, including Twilight, and even Cadence were seated at the table. The changlings had just one representative and two guards. The representative had a golden amulet, signifying his post. The griffins had a group of five, but it was hard to tell who was the representative, as none of them were wearing anything obvious like the changling.

I didn't have much time to observe them.

"Presenting their Royal Highness, Princesses Luna and Celestia!" one of the guards shouted rather loudly before opening the throne room doors. Everypony, griffin, and changling bowed respectfully as the two alicorns entered the room. They soon took their seats at the two thrones in the far side of the room and Celestia ordered, "Rise."

Everyone did so. Luna spoke next, "I am glad to see how these negotiations have been so successful." She pointed a hoof at the diplomats. "Equestria will be proud to have the changlings and griffins as allies. Overcoming our differences and forgiving past misdeeds is never easy, so I am quite proud to say with this we will have made a great deal of progress."

Luna sat back down in her throne and let her sister speak. Celestia stood up and produced one of the largest scrolls I have ever seen. She levitated it over, walked to the table, and unfurled the bottom part, where there was a large blank space. Everyone at the table who wasn't a guard readied a quill.

"Let it be known that with this treaty, our nations do not become one, but will promise to protect one another as good neighbors should." Celestia said in a loud enough voice to echo. "We pledge now to protect the harmony of this world, and teach our children and their children to do the same. We do this to preserve the balance of this world, and to stand against those who would seek to destroy it. We do this because it is the right thing to do, and because it is what we believe in."

Celestia stopped speaking, and Luna took this as her cue to walk down from her throne to the table. Celestia then continued, "We do not only sit at this table as the sovereign rulers of Equestria, but also as representatives of our people. This table is a symbol of how one nation shall not rule another with this treaty, but shall be treated as equals in partnership. When we sign this treaty, we will sign as 'Celestia' and 'Luna', not as Princesses."

Celestia then picked up her quill, dipped it in the nearby ink pot, and carefully signed the scroll. Luna then took her turn, then Twilight and Cadence. The changling representative signed after that, and then all five griffins signed their names.

"It is done." Luna decreed in a jubilant tone. "Let the festivities commence!"

Everypony stomped their hooves and cheered. Trixie, who was sitting next to me was smiling and stomping too. There were several bright flashes as the reporters took pictures of the table and the newly signed treaty. Despite the overall happiness of the scene, I felt an inexplicable sense of dread as I saw the food being brought out. I felt like I was underwater. Everything moved in slow motion.

I watched as everypony around me walked forward to grab food. I watched as the Princesses chatted, while taking occasional bites of cake. Then I saw it. I saw Princess Celestia whisper something to a nearby servant. Extreme nausea overwhelmed me but I was unable to move for some reason. I was breathing rapidly, but my eyes were locked on Princess Celestia. Faintly, like she was talking to me from a distance, I heard Trixie's voice calling to me, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. Everything felt strange, like I was underwater.

The servant quickly returned with a steaming hot cup of tea. I tried to scream but could not find my voice. Celestia sipped her tea, and immediately began coughing loudly. The deja-vu that had been plaguing me finally made sense. I recognized the scene from my dreams, but found myself powerless to do anything. I watched the whole process over again as Celestia slowly grew more and more ill until she lied motionless, and finally somepony screamed. Silence then ruled in the throne room.

"She's dead." I finally found the ability to say. The feeling of nausea returned, but this time it was much stronger. My stomach rebelled against me, and I lost my lunch on the marble floor. My vision blurred, and I lost my balance. I blacked out.