A young instrument maker answers a roommate-seeking flyer and travels to Ponyville, hoping for a new start, and hopefully a new home. But she finds much, much more.
Excellent first chapter, Cody, and I can't wait for the next one to pop up one is! I will be following this one closely, as I do all the lovely, wonderful stories in this account!
If I have any caveats or gripes (and don't worry, they're small ones), it's that you're using these; / /; rather than italics for emphasizing certain things, and for when somepony is thinking. Also, it MIGHT not hurt to go back and put spaces in between the paragraphs and scene breaks.
Other than those, this chapter is wonderful, and, as I said, I can't wait for more.
And on another note (and which I should have done at the very start of this), may I wish you a hearty welcome back to writing and the site. I cannot express just HOW wonderful it is to have you back.
The way the story is written throws me off a little. I'm not good at suggestions... which leave's me kinda of hopeless. Ik. BUT anyhow. I'll let you write the way you do and hope it doesn't become a further problem
This is a wonderful first chapter. I really like how the stories in this account delve into the matters of herding and political things with the different tribes. I honestly want to try and write something like this one day.
If I have any caveats or gripes (and don't worry, they're small ones), it's that you're using these; / /; rather than italics for emphasizing certain things, and for when somepony is thinking.
Also, it MIGHT not hurt to go back and put spaces in between the paragraphs and scene breaks.
This. Great beginning. Can't wait to see what fun these three get into.
Also, I can't help but see there are some formatting issues. I think the parts with double slashes (/word/) are supposed to be italicized, but I could be wrong.
holy jesus thirteen hundred bits for that amazing thing and she has been selling at 450? she could have been making millions of bits off of that.if i could make that much oh hohoho i would be a happy stallion. 'cept this is a mare but you get the idea...
Ohh I loved the way this started. Night song seems a bit like a reverse Trixie personality wise and it's nice to see someone proud of there work but not arrogant about it.
Also why do Lunar Pegasus always read as so cute?!
Are you going to write another chapter?
7882851 Working on it now! ^___^ Aaaaand when I get home from classes, and the bank.
7882857 I can't wait! Also, do you mind if I put this in a few of my groups?
7882858 Sure, I don't mind at all. ^__^
7882861 Thanks!
MORE I NEED MORE
Excellent first chapter, Cody, and I can't wait for the next one to pop up one is! I will be following this one closely, as I do all the lovely, wonderful stories in this account!
If I have any caveats or gripes (and don't worry, they're small ones), it's that you're using these; / /; rather than italics for emphasizing certain things, and for when somepony is thinking.
Also, it MIGHT not hurt to go back and put spaces in between the paragraphs and scene breaks.
Other than those, this chapter is wonderful, and, as I said, I can't wait for more.
And on another note (and which I should have done at the very start of this), may I wish you a hearty welcome back to writing and the site.
I cannot express just HOW wonderful it is to have you back.
Keep on bein' awesome, hun!
The way the story is written throws me off a little. I'm not good at suggestions... which leave's me kinda of hopeless. Ik. BUT anyhow. I'll let you write the way you do and hope it doesn't become a further problem
You definitely got my attention with this
Nightsong I really like this story so far, I hope you keep with it!(^_^)
This is a wonderful first chapter. I really like how the stories in this account delve into the matters of herding and political things with the different tribes. I honestly want to try and write something like this one day.
This. Great beginning. Can't wait to see what fun these three get into.
Cute opening to a hopefully promising story.
Also, I can't help but see there are some formatting issues. I think the parts with double slashes (/word/) are supposed to be italicized, but I could be wrong.
7883508 Fixed!
holy jesus thirteen hundred bits for that amazing thing and she has been selling at 450? she could have been making millions of bits off of that.if i could make that much oh hohoho i would be a happy stallion. 'cept this is a mare but you get the idea...
Loved the chapter and eager for the next
I LOVE this story. I am chomping at the bit for more. Huzzah for Nightsong!
Ohh I loved the way this started. Night song seems a bit like a reverse Trixie personality wise and it's nice to see someone proud of there work but not arrogant about it.
Also why do Lunar Pegasus always read as so cute?!
Hmm, that was rather cute. I needed some fluff in my day, and this worked nicely.