Twilight Sparkle goes to a nature resort with her brother, Shining Armor. But it turns out that it's not a nature resort. It's a NATURIST resort! Stuck there, they'll have to survive the weekend together. (If they don't die of embarrassment first!)
"Here we are!" Twilight said. She looked up at the sign for Camp Everfree. A different sign had been put up in front of it with neon letters. "Pinecrest Resort?" Twilight asked out loud. Shining just shrugged. It was his first time seeing any of it. A few of the letters on the sign had blinked out for 'Pinecrest', the P, R, and first E.
One: I like this. I like this a LOT. I like a lot of your work, but casual nudity (and the subsequent sexualization thereof) is one of my *favorite subjects,* ifyouknowwhatImean
Two: I've never been to a nudist resort (due in part to my fetishizing of them, which I recognize is pretty inappropriate and contradictory to their intended purpose, not to mention my financial situation and my own self consciousness regarding my body). But I have conducted significant... independent research into how they work (confused? Don't be; I literally just explained how I get off on the idea of a culture that utterly lacks any sort of sex/nudity taboo, which is part of why I like the Exhibiquestria concept so damn appealing) and, while I may be wrong, I am pretty sure that most places don't have a "3-strike rule."
In fact, there seems to be a pretty standard boilerplate FAQ on the websites for most nudist/naturist resorts, and the question "what do I do if boner happens?" is addressed as follows:
Relax. Don't worry about it. It happens, and we all understand. Similarly, humans are visual creatures, so of course you're going to LOOK, but staring or leering isn't cool. You don't need to hide anything, but don't go around shoving it in people's faces either. This is why people usually have a towel; in addition to hygiene (naked butts pass on a lot of germs through seats!) it gives men a quick way to cover up so as not to make others uncomfortable, and/or make things less embarrassing for themselves.
Basically, there are rules against being a creep: no touching people except when context dictates, and never in sexual ways or in a way that violates consent; no jerking off or having sex, except in your rooms.
But other than that stuff -- which is really common decency, really -- no resort would PENALIZE you for something you literally can't control. That's just bullshit.
"Yeah..." Shining sighed, not wanting to think about the recent breakup with Dean Cadance.
This is a very minor critique, but I feel like there's a bit of a missed opportunity here. The reason(s) that Shining Armor and Cadance broke up isn't specified (in this chapter at least) beyond the fact that they hadn't had sex in a while (which might be a symptom of whatever broke them up as much as a cause). But the EQG series has a built-in reason for this: we're told, in Dance Magic, that Cadance has become the principal of Crystal Prep:
Rarity: Is that all? Wow! [giggles] How is everything over at Crystal Prep Academy? Sunny Flare: Oh, things at CPA have never been better since Principal Cadance took over.
Make that be a thing about how the increased workload put a strain on their relationship, and presto, you have the reason Shining Armor and Cadance broke up.
Also, the "could" in this sentence should be "couldn't":
She could decide if being in a room full of strangers instead of her classmates was more or less uncomfortable.
This is brilliant. Thoughtful, compassionate, meaningful without being preachy. I came for Shiningsparkle incest titillation, but got so much more out of it.
Hilarious too! "He was stiff from the bus journey... needed to take a load off...".
"Oh, uh, Shining was feeling a little stiff... from the bus ride. And he, uh, just needed to take a load off," Twilight explained, taking another sandwich slice. "I'm sure he'll feel better soon."
"Do you want ants!?" Gloriosa asked rhetorically. "Because that's how you get ants." Timber exchanged a look with her.
I can never forget Archer saying this!
"Five second rule." He took the last sandwich, gave it a quick inspection and then he ate it. As soon as he tasted it, he almost did a spit take. It was tuna.
I shouldn’t be reading this in public. I almost busted out laughing.
Also when I first saw the title, without even knowing it was you, I thought Pinecest. Then I saw your name. ”Yep, I know where this is going.”.
What a hilarious concept! The characters’ chemistry is also very good! Keep up the good work!
9579092
Thank you. I intend to.
To quote Channel Awesome survivor Matthew Buck:
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/symbolism_5839.png
WHEW DAMN!! This is going to be a Fun read!
Two things.
One: I like this. I like this a LOT. I like a lot of your work, but casual nudity (and the subsequent sexualization thereof) is one of my *favorite subjects,* ifyouknowwhatImean
Two: I've never been to a nudist resort (due in part to my fetishizing of them, which I recognize is pretty inappropriate and contradictory to their intended purpose, not to mention my financial situation and my own self consciousness regarding my body). But I have conducted significant... independent research into how they work (confused? Don't be; I literally just explained how I get off on the idea of a culture that utterly lacks any sort of sex/nudity taboo, which is part of why I like the Exhibiquestria concept so damn appealing) and, while I may be wrong, I am pretty sure that most places don't have a "3-strike rule."
In fact, there seems to be a pretty standard boilerplate FAQ on the websites for most nudist/naturist resorts, and the question "what do I do if boner happens?" is addressed as follows:
Relax. Don't worry about it. It happens, and we all understand. Similarly, humans are visual creatures, so of course you're going to LOOK, but staring or leering isn't cool. You don't need to hide anything, but don't go around shoving it in people's faces either. This is why people usually have a towel; in addition to hygiene (naked butts pass on a lot of germs through seats!) it gives men a quick way to cover up so as not to make others uncomfortable, and/or make things less embarrassing for themselves.
Basically, there are rules against being a creep: no touching people except when context dictates, and never in sexual ways or in a way that violates consent; no jerking off or having sex, except in your rooms.
But other than that stuff -- which is really common decency, really -- no resort would PENALIZE you for something you literally can't control. That's just bullshit.
(Wow, that got wordy. Sorry about that.)
9581206
Fixed.
This is a very minor critique, but I feel like there's a bit of a missed opportunity here. The reason(s) that Shining Armor and Cadance broke up isn't specified (in this chapter at least) beyond the fact that they hadn't had sex in a while (which might be a symptom of whatever broke them up as much as a cause). But the EQG series has a built-in reason for this: we're told, in Dance Magic, that Cadance has become the principal of Crystal Prep:
Make that be a thing about how the increased workload put a strain on their relationship, and presto, you have the reason Shining Armor and Cadance broke up.
Also, the "could" in this sentence should be "couldn't":
9581247 Excellent point!
Fixed.
Wow. I... kind of ship this.
I think I'll read the rest over time. This was very well written thus far.
This is brilliant. Thoughtful, compassionate, meaningful without being preachy. I came for Shiningsparkle incest titillation, but got so much more out of it.
Hilarious too! "He was stiff from the bus journey... needed to take a load off...".
9583182
media.giphy.com/media/AeWoyE3ZT90YM/giphy.gif
Palm meet face, face, this is palm
9583975
pre07.deviantart.net/16ed/th/pre/i/2012/294/4/4/pinkie_pie_lol_by_lazypixel-d5i4ky4.png
ARCHER!!!!
When in Rome
9586025
Its a mlp name switch pun
My god. That tuna sandwich bit XD
When this line is used properly, it's never old, and that was hilarious. Nice work so far, sir.
I can never forget Archer saying this!
I shouldn’t be reading this in public. I almost busted out laughing.
Also when I first saw the title, without even knowing it was you, I thought Pinecest. Then I saw your name.
”Yep, I know where this is going.”.