"Of course I do sweetie, but in a different way. I love you as a mother, you have to fine a mare who will love you as a wife." You should change fine to find. Also great job on the fanfic so far im really enjoying it. And did I see some foreshadowing too because if I did then that's awesome.
7885214 honestly, I left the character descriptions open for the reader to paint their own mental image. I figured since this story is suppose to be as kinky as possible anyway, I'd just let each of the readers draw the characters with their mind and if they had any special color fetishes, they could add it themselves while imagining the story as it happens.
7885214 in addition, I'm glad you enjoyed! And I was honestly considering something like that happening, but as you said its a bit to early... But that doesn't mean it couldn't happen.
The octopus was interesting. Only thing I find a pity with octopuses is that they don't spray cum from their tentacles, like the common tentacle monsters. In any case nice chapter!
I don't think it works out so well, considering you mentioned Ice color scheme later. I remember something about blue eyes for example and fur or mane color were also mentioned sometime. Not to mention that the Name Ice or River can give one expectations about their looks.
I'm also interested in hearing about the parents in future chapters. They weren't mentioned before, but I assume they might be perverts too. At least I have read something in one of the chapters that seemed like a hint towards it.
7886156 since I finally have a commenter that gives input, (thank you by the way) I have two questions for you.
First off, what do you think would be a good remedy for the character discription problem I have now? Second, what gave you the impression that their parents are perverted as well? I'd like to know so I might incorporate it later.
The remedy is rather easy. Once Steam transformed into Ice you can use that to describe her for example, but also mention the name.
And River could be described at the beginning with his jealousy. Some paragraph along the lines of: 'I looked down at my x-colored coat and my x mane.' You could also mention his name somewhere in the beginning to introduce the family better. Something along the lines of: 'My name is River and I'm the oldest/middle-son/youngest of three siblings.'
Steams name is not something you need to introduce since he greets him at the very beginning then he walks in. And since he is a changeling that doesn't really make it necessary to describe his looks, with exception if he has anything special to it. An accessoire, something with his mane, and so on. But you didn't mention anything so I guess there is no need.
Our parents are our of the house attending an adult party or something so we have the house to ourselves and our sister
Adult Party might not be the biggest hint towards it, considering you probably meant something other, but my perverted mind immediately drifted to a fetish party of sorts, considering this is a fetish story.
"Roll playing" should be "role playing".
"Of course I do sweetie, but in a different way. I love you as a mother, you have to fine a mare who will love you as a wife."
You should change fine to find.
Also great job on the fanfic so far im really enjoying it.
And did I see some foreshadowing too because if I did then that's awesome.
7885214 honestly, I left the character descriptions open for the reader to paint their own mental image. I figured since this story is suppose to be as kinky as possible anyway, I'd just let each of the readers draw the characters with their mind and if they had any special color fetishes, they could add it themselves while imagining the story as it happens.
7885214 in addition, I'm glad you enjoyed! And I was honestly considering something like that happening, but as you said its a bit to early... But that doesn't mean it couldn't happen.
The octopus was interesting. Only thing I find a pity with octopuses is that they don't spray cum from their tentacles, like the common tentacle monsters. In any case nice chapter!
7886042
I don't think it works out so well, considering you mentioned Ice color scheme later. I remember something about blue eyes for example and fur or mane color were also mentioned sometime. Not to mention that the Name Ice or River can give one expectations about their looks.
I'm also interested in hearing about the parents in future chapters. They weren't mentioned before, but I assume they might be perverts too. At least I have read something in one of the chapters that seemed like a hint towards it.
7886156 since I finally have a commenter that gives input, (thank you by the way) I have two questions for you.
First off, what do you think would be a good remedy for the character discription problem I have now? Second, what gave you the impression that their parents are perverted as well? I'd like to know so I might incorporate it later.
7886936
The remedy is rather easy. Once Steam transformed into Ice you can use that to describe her for example, but also mention the name.
And River could be described at the beginning with his jealousy. Some paragraph along the lines of: 'I looked down at my x-colored coat and my x mane.' You could also mention his name somewhere in the beginning to introduce the family better. Something along the lines of: 'My name is River and I'm the oldest/middle-son/youngest of three siblings.'
Steams name is not something you need to introduce since he greets him at the very beginning then he walks in. And since he is a changeling that doesn't really make it necessary to describe his looks, with exception if he has anything special to it. An accessoire, something with his mane, and so on. But you didn't mention anything so I guess there is no need.
Adult Party might not be the biggest hint towards it, considering you probably meant something other, but my perverted mind immediately drifted to a fetish party of sorts, considering this is a fetish story.
7887391 sweet, thanks man
has anyone else noticed the pattern with the names?