Perchance to Dream

by David Silver

44 - Second Life

As it turned out, Starlight was alright with the food when she didn't focus on where it was from, especially interspersed with greenery and potatoes as she went.

The conversation moved away from relationships and on to food and the trip and how long it'd take to get to California. Kevin slid his phone onto the table. "We're making great time, relatively. We'll be crossing the mountains in not too long and from there we get to enjoy Californian traffic, which I'm told is a special level of hell."

"It can't be that bad," I scoffed, to which he immediately swiped over to a page detailing all the ways driving in California can be 'fun' and what special treats await those who dare. I scanned over it, amazed. "I stand corrected."

Starlight clasped her hands together. "When we arrive at your new home, it will be nice to be myself again for a while."

Oh, right, there was that... "You'll want to avoid all windows and not answer the door while you're doing that."

Starlight waved it off like it was nothing. "I understand and I'll be careful." She waved a finger back and forth between us. "Now about your issue." I tensed. "I saw that. We're not sitting on this. You want to claim to be an adult, we face our problems head on." She smiled with the look of inner-vindication. "Someone once forced me to do the same. I hated every moment of it, but it worked out in the end and I was grateful, so consider this passing it forward."

Kevin prodded what little was left of his steak. "Alright... if Linda's open for it?"

They were both looking at me. Lovely. I bought some time. "Let me ruminate on it a little. This is a new idea, all over again. Tomorrow we'll 'face it', alright?"

That seemed to settle them, for the moment. We paid for our meal and continued our journey Westward.

That night I awoke in a new place, or was it an old place? I felt the snug grip of the stone and heard the soft bell of the stand I had been placed on.

"Announcing!" came the sudden sharp voice of a pony. "The arrival of True Shot!"

I started in surprise, then began to shake myself free, only to see there were a lot of ponies watching me. I was back in court, being stared at by what I guessed was most of the nobility in Canterlot, plus Celestia.

Celestia sat atop her throne, looking regal as ever. Her horn lit up and lifted me from my stunned mess over to a seat. "Good that you could join us. We were hoping to make use of your unique perspective."

I was set down next to another stallion who tipped his floofy hat at me. "Afternoon."

I nodded in return as I shook free the flecks of stone. "Hello."

"There are those," continued Celestia, "that think we should be much more strict in how we handle those coming and going from our kingdom."

A clop came from the benches and I saw a refined mare stand. "It's unacceptable that we don't even know who's a citizen or not! And if one of them breaks a law, who do we even report them to afterwards? It's unacceptable."

Oh... How timely. I was brought before a discussion about how to deal with troubling foreigners. I raised a hoof.

Celestia smiled at me. "True Shot, you have a thought?"

"Well, first, I just want to be sure this is actually a problem." There were gasps of indignation, but that hardly surprised me. "Do we have any record of how many crimes are committed by non-citizens vs citizens?"

Celestia's horn began to glow as a scroll floated up beside her and unfurled. "As it turns, I did have such documentation produced while preparing for this hearing. Creatures that are on vacation or business trip are, by and large, law-abiding. The most common disruption comes from differences in law between their home nation and ours, and is usually resolved peacefully."

I rolled a hoof. "I gather some people just walk into Equestria."

She let out a sigh. "This is true. Equestria's borders are far too wide to reasonably even consider trying to--"

"You haven't tried!" complained the mare from before. "You just see a large job and assume we can't do it. Is moving the sun the only troubling thing you can handle then?"

Noises of shock and alarm rippled through the crowd, some surprised anyone would say anything like that about Celestia, others murmuring timid agreement.

Celestia spread her wings. "It is not I who makes your laws, that is why this is a discussion. As a discussion, I would thank you to show some manners befitting your station."

I rose to my hooves, a scowl over my chiseled featured. "As I was asking, do we have numbers on the behavior of these undocumented visitors?"

Celestia's head turned back towards me. "By all reports, most, but not all, come peacefully. I should like to think that most people on this world, pony or not, prefer peace to the alternative. Equest--"

"Listen to her!" barked the mare from before. "As if we hadn't been stomped by some foreign centaur thing not that long ago."

Kevin had showed me that one, just as an example of when the show could abandon all fluffy roots and go wild. It was hard to forget. "Would having a border station have stopped him? I doubt that. You are trying to solve supernatural problems with mundane means, and that isn't going to work."

She turned to me directly. "And what would you know? Some forgotten relic of ancient time, you know nothing of modern governance or its solutions."

That mare... She was quite a piece of work, but she wasn't entirely wrong. It wasn't like I was trained in governmental anything. Still, in for a penny... "I have watched a country pour seemingly endless funds into protecting its borders and patrolling its streets for the 'foreign menace'. It is a war that never ends. It only drains the wallet and demoralizes everyone involved."

"Fine," she practically spat. "I'll play along with this ridiculous prattle. What would you have us do, savior of forgotten days?"

Shoot. A solution... "Well... If we want to assume most people are here for nothing more malevolent than finding a job or seeing the sights, why don't we just encourage them to be documented? Greet them with a warm welcome and usher them into the system with kindness instead of trying to keep them out like sand on a beach."

Celestia's face became approving. She clearly liked the idea. "That sounds like a very pony idea." There were some murmurs of agreement running across the crowd. "There are ponies in most major cities that take great joy in greeting strangers. We could train them to document and properly integrate lost souls into Equestrian society."

The mare looked incensed, but sank to her seat with a thump. The others around her were too busy discussing the specifics of the forming initiative for her to not see her case had been lost that day. She shot me a withering glare a moment before she turned up her nose.

After court was adjourned, Celestia approached me. "I must apologize. That's twice now I've put you on the spot, yet, twice now you've risen to the challenge admirably." She leaned in close, eyes on my level. "Are you trying to impress me? It may be working." She smiled radiantly and turned away. "I requested you be brought back from Ponyville and they put you on the next train despite you being asleep at the time. I would have preferred you were given some warning, but Twilight said something about you being unreachable at the moment."

I began to walk alongside her. She was larger than me. I had to take notice of that. She was maybe thirty to fifty percent bigger than me, but then she was bigger than most ponies. She was a horse among them. "I would have liked that too, but here I am."

"Did you enjoy your visit?" she asked. "I hear you mean to earn your own living. That's very like you... You did not enjoy accepting gifts without reason before..."

I had passed another test without trying. "I don't need to be on pony welfare. I have a talent I can use, so I'll use that, and maybe make some ponies happy in the process. That'd be nice, right?"

"It would," she agreed.

She sounded like she wanted to say more, but she didn't. My bow itched lightly and I remembered Luna's words. Celestia had waited years to feel the prick of an arrow and be forced to speak clearly the feelings she kept bottled up. Besides that, I wanted that ambiguity dispelled. Did she like me? Did she like like me?

Even as I mused over that, my bow floated free and an arrow was drawn back.

That was when I was tackled. A guard was on top of me, roughly pinning me to the ground. "I have him, your majesty. Are you alright?"

Celestia reached and gently tapped the guard on the back. "Let True Shot up, he's harmless."

I scrambled back to my hooves the moment I could. Part of me was quite peeved at being tackled, but on the other, er, hoof, I was wielding a bow beside their princess, so I likely deserved worse.

Celestia looked amused by it all. "Were you going to shoot me?" she asked. "Who would you see if I was compatible with?"

I gave a big horsey smile. "There's only one way for you to know."

"Playing coy?" She went silent a moment, then nodded. "Do not make me regret this."

The itch became unbearable. She had given permission. It was time to fire! I drew an arrow back almost without thought and she gave a soft gasp as it pierced her supple pelt. I sent another flying almost straight up, to turn around and land right on my own back.

Everything faded away. Everything, that is, but Celestia. She was the only thing left.

Celestia looked at me, becoming equally lost. I was her everything as she was mine. "You confusing stallion," she breathed. "You dance in the skin of my old friend, but I know you are not he. You wear it well... too well. You are everything... Everything I thought I wanted... Is this right? Is this... What would he say?!"

I was shocked, my heart thundering in my chest. "I... spoke to him."

She was on me, almost taking her turn to tackle me to the ground. "What did he say? You will tell me everything!"

Her magic pulled at me, but I didn't want to be anywhere else but near her, so she needn't have tried as I moved with her to a more private place.

We had so many things to discuss.

Author's Note:

Welcome back to Equestria! Now let's get you a green card.

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Comments

[badninja]

Ok who allowed the rabid Trump supporter in? Equestria has far better neighbors the we do and they do not seem that bad off. Our problem is our neighbors have poor job opportunities and we offer to few work visas that do the migrant farm labor. Equestria can have it's open boarders, they just need better defenders the six mares and their magical do dads.

[Sunny]

If people could down vote chapters I suspect the right wing here would heavily dislike this one. Me? I say good show, chap! Pretending to be English is fun, at that

[bonberjean]

Oh my... a chapter without noticeable typos...
great job

[Alzrius]

Steven slid his phone onto the table.

So is that Kevin's real name or something?

[David Silver]

7998919 Oops, fixed!

[Booster Spice]

Manners cost nothing and make you look less of a rabid instagram ego self empowering god demander. After all, most people who demand power, demand it purely for themself, at the very least so they can then ensure others dont get it.

The big problem with moving to a new area is when you get local laws and rules which are mandatory, but which you cant know about until you get there. One of the classic ones was bothering the guard at their duty, when asking what the local laws were. Then being ignorant of the local laws, as ignorance of the law is no excuse.

[tsaukpaetra]

a very pony solution indeed! For some reason it seems humans fear enforced assimilation...
We like how the bell platform is now the recognized bed and travel utility. Ding! He's here!
And finally the Great Heart to Heart event begins!
We wonder if they'll realize there's a much deeper reason for Linda/True being so alike...
Keep going! ;)

[HoneyBadgerr]

I..I..naw, man. How do you manage to drop a cliffhanger in this story? Darn you. I wanna know what happens!!

You ain't right.

[Alzrius]

Okay, I was going to leave this alone but I find myself returning to it in my thoughts, so I wanted to go over some parts of this.

"There are those," continued Celestia, "that think we should be much more strict in how we handle those coming and going from our kingdom."

A clop came from the benches and I saw a refined mare stand. "It's unacceptable that we don't even know who's a citizen or not! And if one of them breaks a law, who do we even report them to afterwards? It's unacceptable."

Okay, the nameless mare making this argument is presenting this in the context of law enforcement, and that's a rather odd comment to make. It doesn't really matter if someone is a citizen or not, in terms of police protection; if someone breaks a law, then the police will step in and respond accordingly. Whether someone is a citizen or not might have some bearing on the subsequent trial, but even that is iffy - you can still be judged and sentenced by the jurisdiction you're in regardless of whether you're a citizen or not. Unless there's some sort of special arrangement in place (e.g. you have diplomatic immunity), this is going to go the same way for everyone, without exception. Issues of international concern over one nation's citizens being imprisoned/punished by another nation are just that, issues of international concern that are handled by the higher levels of government. So unless this mare works in the Equestrian version of the State Department, this should be a non-issue, at least in terms of how she's framing it.

"Well, first, I just want to be sure this is actually a problem." There were gasps of indignation, but that hardly surprised me.

True Shot is raising a reasonable point here, but there are arguments on both sides of this. While one could frame this as someone seeking a solution to a non-existent problem, there's also something to be said about trying to head off potential problems before they occur. Wanting to have documentation regarding people entering and existing your country is not, unto itself, necessarily a bad idea, and doesn't necessarily require that a problem be present to want to gather than information.

For example, this fic has established that Equestria has welfare for indigent members of its society. I'd presume that this is not immediately given to anyone who enters the country and proclaims need - that is, that Equestria 1) requires such individuals to be citizens (or permanent residents, resident aliens, etc.) in order to apply for (at least some) social services, and 2) that foreign nationals who want to attain such status need to apply for it. In that case, it would be helpful to have documentation regarding their entry into Equestria to help verify and process their claims. But even if none of that were true, there are other reasons to keep records, such as if international relations with a particular country deteriorated and Equestria wanted to review if any of their citizens were in that country (or if any of that country's citizens were in Equestria). Running a country tends to require that you have data on hand in order to run it.

Celestia's horn began to glow as a scroll floated up beside her and unfurled. "As it turns, I did have such documentation produced while preparing for this hearing.

This is rather odd, since it suggests that there's already some mechanism in place for gathering that data to begin with. I suppose Celestia could have asked some ponies to manually research this information, but the difficulty that would have come from doing so (i.e. from telling some aides to go and manually check the arrest records of virtually every territory and city, over an indeterminate period of time, for any arrests or other incidents regarding non-citizens...presuming that local law enforcement even noted such status to begin with) would have been significant. Ironically, that would have underscored the reason why it's better to have more information, rather than less, as a matter of form.

I rolled a hoof. "I gather some people just walk into Equestria."

She let out a sigh. "This is true. Equestria's borders are far too wide to reasonably even consider trying to--"

I call shenanigans on Celestia's excuse, here. While the population of Equestria is unknown, and the old map of Equestria is explicitly stated to not be to scale, a notation not found on the new map (though the lack of a scale seems to imply that the disclaimer is still true there), the geographical layout suggests that this is not an unsolvable problem.

As it stands, Equestria has comparatively easy borders to maintain, compared to a landlocked country that was surrounded by populous countries on all sides. Equestria, by contrast, has only Yakyakistan to the north, and they're stated in Party Pooped to have closed off their borders for "hundreds of moons," only now beginning to try and renew foreign relations with Equestria, so they won't be an issue to monitor. To the west is an ocean (on the old map) and the "undiscovered west" (on the new map); the fact that it's "undiscovered" suggests that it's an unknown territory, implying that there aren't any visitors coming from the area (otherwise they'd be able to talk to them, and it wouldn't be "undiscovered" anymore).

To the south there's very little: the old map has the San Palomino Desert, where the buffalo live, but they seem content to remain living on the fringes of civilized Equestria, as we've never seen any indication that they're entering Equestria proper. There's also the Badlands, which I would guess is where the changelings live, but even overlooking recent events they're not really able to be dissuaded by normal border controls. The dragon lands are also further south, but they're likewise not really an issue of immigration process control, and the new map moves them across the ocean anyway. The new map also says that there's Arimaspi Territory further south, which is rather odd considering that the only one we've ever seen was in Griffonstone (and is dead now anyway), and they seem like monsters from what little we did see, rather than foreigners. Likewise, the Forbidden Jungle to the south, which looks an awful lot like the Tenochtitlan Basin from Daring Don't; if it is, then I doubt that the primitive ponies that live there would even understand immigration procedures anyway, making the point rather moot.

Finally, to the east is Griffonstone (suggested on the old map, and shown on the new), which looks like the only other modern nation anywhere close to Equestria. But even then, it's separated from Equestria by an ocean, which means that you'd only need to monitor ports and the single trans-continental rail line (presuming that the ocean is too wide to be crossed over via individual flight). That's not at all an impossible task.

Overall, the implication seems to be that Equestria has comparatively few civilized neighbors along its natural borders, which means that processing immigration and emigration should not be a particularly daunting task, so long as the infrastructure is there. Hence, Celestia's protesting that the job is too big doesn't exactly ring true...which is what that mare subsequently points out (albeit in a rather shrieking fashion).

Celestia spread her wings. "It is not I who makes your laws, that is why this is a discussion.

Okay, what? So Celestia has no role whatsoever in lawmaking? That's rather hard to believe, especially since what we're talking about here has implications with regards to foreign policy, which we know she does handle, since she brings the King and Queen of Saddle Arabia to Ponyville in Magic Duel, and has a secret talk with the Duke and Duchess of Mare-itonia in Twilight's Kingdom.

For that matter, if Celestia doesn't make the laws, then why is that mare bothering to talk to her to begin with? I get that she's being presented as the voice of xenophobia, but there's very little for her to gain by having this discussion in front of someone who is going to be openly hostile to her agenda. If she wanted to simply act like a demagogue, she'd have a much better time of it if she chose a venue where she's less likely to encounter vehement opposition, which she must have known she'd encounter. Why not just throw a party, invite some influential people, and make a speech once everyone's there? That would go much better than a public debate where "winning" has no tangible impact.

"Listen to her!" barked the mare from before. "As if we hadn't been stomped by some foreign centaur thing not that long ago."

Kevin had showed me that one, just as an example of when the show could abandon all fluffy roots and go wild. It was hard to forget. "Would having a border station stopped him? I doubt that. You are trying to solve supernatural problems with mundane means, and that isn't going to work."

Okay, maybe that mare hasn't heard, but Tirek escaped from Tartarus, which is apparently located domestically in Equestria (apparently pretty close to Ponyville, if what we saw in It's About Time is any indication). This isn't an issue of border control, it's about why exactly Cerberus felt like abandoning his post on that particular day.

Obviously, major magical threats aren't something that domestic border controls are able to stop, but that doesn't mean that the idea is necessarily a bad one; it just means that it's not applicable here. Such measures aren't meant to repel an invading army, nor deal with individuals of mass destruction (which is what you have when magic is real, and that powerful). They're meant to make sure that the proper information is available when it's necessary, for whatever reason. That mare really shouldn't have brought up Tirek to begin with.

Still, in for a penny... "I have watched a country pour seemingly endless funds into protecting its borders and patrolling its streets for the 'foreign menace'. It is a war that never ends. It only drains the wallet and demoralizes everyone involved."

True Shot's characterization here is...adequate, but ultimately is conflating a lot of different things. There's a difference between mundane border controls versus having the police walk down the street demanding that people show their papers (especially if they haven't otherwise committed any sort of suspicious activity, let alone criminal). Moreover, a lot of what True is talking about is, I assume, related to domestic American issues of what to do with a large population of undocumented immigrants that are already living inside the borders; that's not really a problem in Equestria that we've seen to date. Indeed, the show presents a world that's very racially segregated, apparently voluntarily. While different tribes of ponies intermingle freely (and apparently live in several different countries), the yaks, buffalo, griffons, and dragons all have their own defined territories, and for the most part stick to them. The changelings also have an apparent homeland, but leave it due to their parasitic nature requiring them to go "hunting" for food. Even the crystal ponies don't seem to leave the Crystal Empire very much.

Everyone seems to stick with their own kind in the world that Equestria inhabits, so there's not much need to go trying to root out a "foreign menace," as True says. But then, that's a separate issue from "handling the comings and goings" across the borders.

Shoot. A solution... "Well... If we want to assume most people are here for nothing more malevolent than finding a job or seeing the sights, why don't we just encourage them to be documented? Greet them with a warm welcome and usher them into the system with kindness instead of trying to keep them out like sand on a beach."

That's essentially border controls in a nutshell, though True is making it sound little different from a (voluntary) welcome service. Given that the mare originally framed this as wanting to know "who's a citizen and who's not," this should essentially serve well enough, depending on how the specifics go. While there might be some issue with "finding a job," depending on local labor conditions, that doesn't really seem like an issue in a place where most everyone's job is secondary to concerns of putting their special talent into practice. Access to welfare might be an issue, since welfare is tax-financed, which makes it rather odd how that never came up, but that's a minor issue.

[David Silver]

8001190 I was surprised you hadn't weighed in.

The map, while compelling, still lacks information. It only shows the spots with notable things, meaning there are vast tracks that are, for lack of better word, undocumented.

True Shot's view was clearly based on modern American issues. This is not subtle. We literally are doing that right now, and it's a rough time.

[Daremo]

there was a lot - there were a lot

border station stopped him - border station have stopped him

---

I've been eager to see this development for some time now. This is their time, no more interruptions!

I hope that it does not end up mirroring the mild troubles and hurt feelings between Linda and Kevin. i.e. their stations are too disparate, Celestia is wed to her duties as Princess...

I'm also afraid of a scenario like this:

They drifted together, her muzzle so near to his that True could breathe in the sweetness of Celestia's breath. He met her gaze then leaned in to close the remaining distance -- and then Linda woke up in bed.

Starlight learned many new human words that night. Princess Twilight would be thrilled, and possibly mortified, but mostly thrilled.

More seriously, it's a shame nobody thought to take the mare in court aside and try to learn what harm she or someone she is advocating for has suffered to push her to make such a plea to the court. Learning what motivates people often helps to find a solution for the underlying issues that all parties can accept. If she refuses a more private audience to discuss these things that would be on her and not on Princess Celestia or the government.

That said, she was overmatched from the start. Linda may not argue before the bar, but she's still a lawyer.

[David Silver]

8001746 Typos stricken from the records!

[Alzrius]

We had so many things to discuss.

Among them being that True is far and away more attracted to Zecora than to Celestia.

[TheAbsoluteRadiance]

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