Perchance to Dream

by David Silver

37 - Pony Up

At the end of the day, I was tired and went straight to bed. Kevin had dragged Starlight in, invisible, to our room.

As I lay there, ready to slumber, I heard them talking.

Starlight spoke in slow assuring tones, "Now you just trust me. You've seen my magic. I'll be very careful." I heard her tapping a book, maybe her journal. "I have two theories, and I'll let you decide which we investigate tonight."

"Two?" I heard Kevin adjust on his bed. "Which two?"

Starlight was quiet a moment. I imagined she shrugged. "The way I see it, the main issue is that I can't hide as a human. To do that, I need mastery of the human form. To do that I can either spend years studying human anatomy, or I can get my hooves dirty and reach in there."

That conversation was not helping me sleep. The last time Starlight had said something like that, it was to perform a dangerous, though successful, operation on me. Should I have stopped them? They were both thinking adults. "Remember he has to drive tomorrow," I muttered under my breath. I had driven most of the day, which did not help me be coherent or want to be awake.

"Of course. So... Would you like to experience that pony life you were asking about, or..."

I nodded off and didn't hear what she said, as worrying as it might be.

I heard a bell jingle as stone pressed against me from all sides. I shook myself free as Spike entered the room and waved at me. "Hey True! Twilight's busy in her office, as usual. She's been beside herself since Starlight ran off."

I nodded at him. "Hey Spike, good to see you." I reached out and gave him a little hug. "Sorry about that. I know it's not exactly my fault, but I still feel bad for being involved."

Spike waved it off. "They're both crazy unicorns. They'll sort it out, probably with magic. I just have to keep Twilight from running herself too ragged, ya know?"

With magic... "Spike, do you know how transformation magic works?"

He shrugged. "Idunno. I've seen Twilight turn things into other things plenty of times, even her friends. Like one time she gave Rarity these big amazing butterfly wings." He sighed with not-subtle fondness. "She's pretty good at it."

I felt the need to correct, so I did, "She's pretty good at all magic, right?"

"Well, not all." Spike rolled his eyes. "There are some spells she's still not so good at, even being a princess and all. Like age spells."

I blinked at the idea. "Age spells exist? How has your society not completely..." Spike looked lost. "I mean... Alright, can any unicorn, ever, at any time, cast that?"

"I guess?" Spike shook his head a little. "Probably Starswirl."

"Then why isn't he still alive, if he can make himself younger on command? If he can do that, why wouldn't he train another pony to eventually do the same, then another, and another, and eventually you have a whole country of unaging horses."

Spike seemed to get where I was going and gave a little shudder. "One, kinda glad that didn't happen, just saying. Two, nopony knows exactly what happened to old Starswirl. Heck, I only know of him because Twilight loves the guy, like a hero I mean. Enough about that." He waved the topic away. "You wanted to do some shopping?"

Ah, right. I had mentioned that last time. "I want to start shopping for a place to work. I think Canterlot is where I should be."

Spike produced a book from behind his back. How did creatures in Equestria do that? No idea, but there it was. He held it up at me. "Good luck with that. Space is at a premium up there. Rarity had to wait years before she could get her boutique."

Huh... "How big is it, her store that is?"

He held his hands as far apart as they could go. "Even bigger than her house here."

I nodded. "I figured. I don't need a large space. Heck, I could end up just renting an office in a larger building along with other professional types. It shouldn't be nearly as hard." I did accept the book and we walked along. "Thanks for being a help, Spike."

"They don't call me--" He jerked his thumbs at himself. "--the number one assistant for nothing. Speaking of that, why not try out your skills here in Ponyville?"

I wasn't sure of the idea. "I don't have an office here either."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but it's a lot easier to get one, besides, who says you need one? It's just to test. Go out and set up a little booth in the marketplace." He saw I was looking uncertain. "C'mon! I'll help you." He got to jogging and I followed behind as he led the way down from the castle.

Outside, I could see it was about mid-day. The sun was high and shining warmly on us. Spike raced ahead of me with a burst of speed. I accelerated to a trot, but as I turned the corner to see him again, I stopped.

He had done it, another bit of Equestrian magic. In the instant he was out of my direct sight, he had a little stand all set up for me. It was like a kissing booth, though it offered romantic advice. "H-huh... wow, Spike. I didn't know you were a carpenter."

He shrugged softly. "You pick up a few things. Go on! Lemme know how it works out." He pointed at me, waved, then got to jogging back up to the castle.

He trusted me to try it. Well... what could the harm be? I moved in and sat behind the booth and gave a smile, awaiting my first customer.

"Hey!" It was Vinyl, popping in out of nowhere in particular. "Look at you! Look at this!" She reached out and tapped the sign. "Is this real? Romance advice? Get out!"

I nodded at her. "Good to see you, Miss Scratch. I help ponies see eye to eye."

Her brows waggled. "Even in the dark with the lights turned out, right?" She laughed as her head bobbed to whatever tune was playing on her headphones. "Well, go ahead, show me."

Show her? "Do you have a particular pony you want to try with? This isn't something that works well with one pony."

"Huh, point there..." She tapped her chin once before she turned. "Hey, Octie!"

"What is it?" Octavia emerged from the mild crowd of the market, bearing a basket of apples. "Why do you insist on--Oh, hello there. Mister Shot, was it?"

I nodded at her. "True Shot. Nice to see you again... Do you have a last name?"

"Octavia Melody," said Octavia with a smile that seemed charming without trying. "Octavia will suffice. Now, were you calling me here just to say hello, Vinyl?"

Vinyl thumped my sign. "Did you see this? He's a love doctor."

Octavia peered at the sign, then up at me. "Fancy that..."

"Exactly! I want him to try, with us."

Octavia raised a brow at her. "I was not aware we had that manner of relationship."

"We could!" Vinyl was all grins. "Can't hurt to check." She fished out some bits with her magic and slapped them down. "Hit us!"

I accepted the bits, but looked to Octavia. "Are you alright with this?"

Octavia settled on her haunches. "I should doubt a little conversation will hurt too badly. Go on."

Conversation was not exactly what I had in mind. With permission given, the bow felt almost itchy at my side. I drew it and a heart-shaped arrow. "These are not love arrows. They will only make you say what you feel, not make new feelings."

Vinyl bobbed her head, looking ready, but Octavia suddenly looked nervous.

I was in the thrall of my talent. Octavia hadn't said she wanted to stop, so I didn't. "I want you two to look at each other." Vinyl fixed her gaze on Octavia while Octavia's eyes darted here and there, constantly washing over Vinyl but never staying on her.

I pulled an arrow back and shivered faintly. Why did that have to feel so good? I put one in Vinyl's rump, making her squawk. Octavia gave a more sedate little grunt.

Her eyes stopped wandering.

The two stared at one another, gazing into one another's depths.

I felt it was my turn. "Vinyl, what do you feel about Octavia Melody? Go ahead, tell her."

Vinyl leaned forward. "I think she's the yang to my yin, ya know. She keeps me balanced, and I'm so glad she's here." She reached out a hoof and pulled Octavia closer. "I worry sometimes I'm annoying her, but I'm not trying to, I swear! I..."

Octavia brushed Vinyl's hoof aside. "You do annoy me. You vex me. You run me ragged and leave me wheezing for breath." She looked away, then back. "And I keep coming back... You don't let me hide. You pull me out into the light. No matter how down I feel, you're there with that goofy smile and a terrible joke."

Vinyl gave one of those goofy smiles. "I love you."

Octavia put a hoof to her face, though she was smiling in turn. "I love you too, you big filly." She kissed Vinyl's cheek, then trot past her. "Now let us depart. There's plenty of shopping to be done, and you're not helping."

Vinyl gave me a wink. "Thanks." And she raced off to keep up with her friend.

That had gone... well, I decided.

Another pony had seen the performance and ambled up. "My turn!"

I perked my ears at the mare. "Who are we testing your feelings for?"

She tilted her head. "I want to find my special somepony. Can you do that?"

Could I? I considered the task before me. If I couldn't, that would limit my clients quite a deal. "Well, let's try." She clopped her hooves with joy. With a loud twang, I shot her right in the chest.

"Ow!" She rubbed the spot where the arrow had been. "I thought that only works with two ponies?"

"But there are two, we just don't know who the other pony is, yet. I want you to think about what you want out of a relationship. I want you to be honest, with yourself. The other pony, today, is you."

"Me?" I felt a tingle, and I think she did too. Apparently my ruse was going to work. "Me..." She sank to her haunches. "I really want to be shaken from my comfort zone by a pony willing to do that without being mean or dangerous. They should be social and insist I come with them to parties and things, maybe shows... They should respect my work schedule, and I would respect their interests. They should tell me about them, and listen when I talk about mine." She spread wings I hadn't noticed a moment earlier. "Oh! A pegasus, for sure. I want to fly with them, whoever they are..." She suddenly snapped out of it. "W-wha?"

"That was you, talking about you." I nodded softly. "Now you have an idea of what to look for."

She gave a little smile and set a few bits on the counter. "I was hoping for something more concrete, but it's a start... thank you. If I find a stallion, I'll bring them by."

She was about to leave, but I put out a hoof. "Fair warning, if the stand's gone, I went off to Canterlot."

Her brows rose together. "Canterlot? Wow. Good luck!" She waved and trotted off.

Author's Note:

True Shot starts doing as his cutie mark says, and he kinda likes it.

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Comments

[Booster Spice]

I really hope Glimmer isnt so self absorbed and enthusiastic that when True wakes up back on Earth, it isnt between Agent K and Jack ONiell.

[Liqwidice]

Wow.... Somepony who can give true relationship advice.

[Daremo]

Idunno - I dunno

---

Slim pickings for typos today, but that's a good thing!

I have to wonder what Starlight has planned, but of course the stars of today's chapter are Vinyl and Octavia. Their feelings are out in the open now, but I have to wonder if they both mean the same thing when they say 'love' I get the impression that Vinyl feels a little more than the love one might feel for a friend, and Octavia's love may be less than romantic in nature. Still, that's their business and it's not that kind of story this time around.

---

This isn't something that works well with one pony.

Oh, really? Have you tried?

[tsaukpaetra]

Feels good, you know? To really do the thing your talents let you accomplish?
It was interesting how Octavia maintained her anxiety even though Vinyl basically indicated her interest with her ploy. We think her experience definitely helped.
Keep going! ;)

[Warrior Kitten]

So, he gets off from firing arrows.

There's an innuendo inside that innuendo.

[Sylica telca]

I bet that was derpy. The title was not what I was expecting in this chapter.

[wlam]

Should I have stopped them? They were both thinking adults.

Yes, you should have. Everything about this is incredibly irresponsible, potentially crippling and Twilight already told you so.

I'm outright angry at these characters right now and I'm kind of wondering when you'll actually have them see the consequences for all the stupid, callous shit they get up to, David.