Lost Little Pony

by PotatoJoe

Two

It was inescapable.

They’d shut down the “garage sale” immediately. Very few items had been sold, though some were damaged in the movement. But the event was notable that there had been a horde of reporters and media ponies there.

It was completely impossible to cover up what had happened to the Prince of Unicorns.

Newspapers. Radio programs. Letters of concern sent to the palace by those rare few who did not know yet of the Princes unpleasant nature. Celestia had been swamped since the morning by the story, a story she’d been present to witness.

Now, under the cover of night, she was about to get some answers as to what had happened.

The Prince had been rushed to the hospital but given a clean bill of health - at least, for him. Nopony with six venereal diseases could really get a clean bill of health. But when she’d entered the hospital room to speak with him, his pulse had skyrocketed and he’d nearly had a heart attack. The doctors had told her to stay out while they tried to figure out how to sedate him.

It didn’t take her a third time to figure out that the Prince was terrified of her.

With such a fact known, she needed to know of the Princes recent actions. Forgoing dinner - it would be an ugly affair, with the other Houses tittering about the indignity of the Unicorn - she’d made her way to the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Clinic. She entered under the cloak of invisibility - it wouldn’t do to simply be seen entering such a place - and made her way to the office of the head doctor, Clear Waters.

“ Good evening, doctor.” she said, closing the door and fading into view. The earth mare jumped slightly, though she had been told Celestia would be coming by.

“ G-good evening, your highness.” said Clear Waters, standing and bowing. She comported herself, then gestured to several files on her desk. “ I’ve assembled everything we have on the Prince. We have several of our doctors ready to speak of him if you wish, as well as interviews about him by other patients.”

“....did you go to this trouble because of him, or because you do it for everypony?” asked Celestia, raising an eyebrow.

“ Everypony, my Princess.” Clear Waters was polite but defensive. “ I run the best clinic in all of Equestria because some ponies need it. I speak from experience - in my youth I was addicted to Poison Joke and was in and out of a number of poorly run facilities.”

“ I did not mean to cast aspersions.” said the Princess, nodding politely.

“ Prince Blueblood came to us in fairly bad condition.” said Clear Waters, turning towards her work. She simply bypassed the earlier hiccup, which Celestia was grateful for. “ Most of it seemed to be stress related. He hadn’t slept in two days and was suffering from heart strain, likely from high blood pressure. This was complicated by his numerous addictions, but he was still possessing of enough mental faculties to check himself in.”

“ The first week was rough. The Poison Joke withdrawal hit him quickest, but we were ready. Herbal teas with plenty of vapors were kept available at all times, giving him a mild chemical option. He transitioned into the other withdrawals with relative ease, but his sleep problems continued. Finally, we moved him to a windowless room, which decreased his issues for the first month.”

“....is that standard?” asked Celestia, listening intently.

“ Unusual, but not unheard of. It seemed to be a recent development as well - we think his eyes grew light sensitive as part of his withdrawal symptoms, but only to natural sunlight.”

Translation - He was terrified of Celestia, meaning he was terrified of the sun.

“ By the end of the first month he was doing averagely. He’d tried to bribe several guards to get him beer and tried to break into the kitchen to make a donut, but the kitchen incident ended with him stopping of his own volition and turning himself in. Thats a good sign. After which he started the physical and mental conditioning to get him able to function again. He responded well to token therapy - that is where an object is used as a stand in for the craving of ones addiction. We settled on polishing horseshoes after some experimentation - it gave him a little personal pride to finish shining them and was discrete enough to take back into the outside world.”

The doctor continued, going over the problems and successes that the Prince had seen. He was having a great deal with his growing agoraphobia and sleeping problems and had gained a lot of weight - a side affect of his body no longer needing to use every calorie to fix the damage of the Poison Joke. He’d taken up long trots at night as a proper exercise to deal with his body and help repair some of the damage of his lifestyle.

“ That is where we come to the bad news.” said Clear Waters, indicating a third folder. “ We performed a complete physical on him with extensive testing. I read he is in the hospital, correct?”

“ Unfortunately, he had a panic attack.” said Celestia, leaving some details out.

“ It pains me to say this, but get used to him being there.” said the earth mare, taking out several medical charts. “ His kidneys barely function. His liver is shot. His left lung won’t do a thing for the rest of his life but become cancerous. His heart muscles are stressed - and his cardiovascular system is stressed by the chemical shift.”

Celestia was not surprised - she’d seen the damage other ponies with similar lifestyles had done to themselves.

“ I’ve heard of ponies lasting a while like this, but realistically, a decade is what I’d give him.” said Clear Waters with a sigh. She sat back on her pillow. “ I’m sorry if I was to informal - “

“ It was fine.” said Celestia, shaking her head. “ You told me what I needed to know. Do you have any suggestions on how I could help him?”

Clear Waters paused, obviously considering her words. This told Celestia that the doctor was more aware of the connection between Celestia and the Prince’s problems than she’d reported.

“....leave him alone.”

Answers like that always stung.

=============

At least Luna won’t go lonely on the castle grounds at night. thought Celestia, frowning as she watched the distant form of a unicorn trot towards the Canterlot Garden Maze. It was the third night since she’d gone to the clinic and the third she’d seen the Prince on a long walk at night.

She still didn’t trust him around her sister, remembering some of the looks he’d given Luna.

It had been an awkward few days. The media was still enjoying the story, but no new photographs of Blueblood had appeared. He’d sent a letter by way of his page to apologize for the “garage sale”, but had informed her that he was going to sell off his collection of chariots and carriages as an alternative form of money-making. The auction was being planned for the next week and being planned as a rather high-class affair, even if nopony knew what the money was for.

Celestia wondered what had gone so wrong.

Her thoughts kept going back to that shivering little foal struggling with a fever. It had taken Blueblood a long time to recover from that illness, and he’d never quite seemed the same to her. Back then, he’d been tired and unfocused, which nopony had thought odd. He’d came close to death for a foal. But as time wore on, he became detached. He seemed numb.

Now that she thought of it, she had a new hint she hadn’t before - apparently, one of the attractions of Poison Joke was a “pleasant numbness.”

He couldn’t have started such a thing as a foal, but one never knew. Foals were tricky. But where would he have gotten such an idea in the first place? It was likely he learned of such things years later. He’d just grown from a detached little foal into a out of control stallion. There was no real rhyme or reason to the progression.

She remembered hearing of the day he’d gotten his cutie mark, not long after he’d been sick. He’d been exploring the palace and gotten lost, spending several hours in a map room. When they found him, he was napping, the compass rose evident on his flank. For a few days he’d been the energetic, bright eyes prince again, until that faded back into the little unicorn who sat patiently at dinners and waited.

The perfect little foal.

Where was he?

Celestia turned, returning to the inside of the palace. Inside, dinner had begun, with Luna presiding. Talk of the Prince had died down in court - a rare mention of his nighttime explorations, but that was it - allowing her to have a pleasant dinner.

She looked to the Prince of Earth. He was talking with his wife. She looked to the Princess of Pegasi, who was debating the advantages of opening certain high thermal routes to merchant caravans. How had they turned out so well and Blueblood so badly?

“ Sister, you are again vexed.” said Luna quietly as a servant brought Celestia soup. “ ‘tis Blueblood again?”

“ I shouldn’t dwell on him.” apologized Celestia, testing the temperature of her dinner. It was not too hot, so she ate. “...but I do. There have been a few lost souls over the centuries I could not help and they pain me still. I...am closer to Blueblood than I would like to be. He’s been a detestable boor and for ages, but I still wish to help him.”

“ We have been told he has a number of heirs.” said Luna, taking a drink. “ Illegitimate ones.”

“ Amongst his crimes, that is the rankest of them.” sighed Celestia, losing her taste for dinner and setting down her spoon.

“ You must have known of his affairs for some time, sister.” said Luna, her tone odd. She was probing for information. “ You must have had earlier chances to put an end to things.”

“ I....did.” said Celestia, the admittance painful. She was speaking softly, so only Luna would hear. “ But I hoped he would mature. And I chose to believe some of the stories were exaggerated when they reached my ears. A dalliance with an emissaries wife might just be a rumor, a servant mare might have been an exaggeration. He was handsome enough for mares to line up for him at balls, so I’d thought little of those choices at first.”

“ What of the mail mare?” asked Luna, swirling her wine her her goblet. Celestia thought for several moments, trying to think of one. “ Ah, we see that not even every instance made its ways to your ears. We have asked around discreetly - some of his less notable ....encounters....never reached you.”

“ It seems not.” said the Princess with a pained sigh. “ And that is half the reason trying to aid him is so painful - there is the doubt if he deserves it.”

“ We’ve met worse.”

“ But rarely have I met a pony with such pointless problems.” said Celestia, straightening some. “ To err is to live. But he....he went past that.”

“ It was almost like he was trying to cause a scene.” said Luna, her voice nearly silent.

“....ah, you see what I do not.” said Celestia, feeling a flush of shame. Her sister, the less-perfect of the pair, had the wisdom that came from mistakes Celestia would never have. “ What should I do, sister?”

Luna gave her slight smile.

“ Ask him.”

====================

The night was cool on her coat.

The great maze stretched out underneath her as she soared soundlessly above, searching for her lost Prince. She’d taken a favorite disguise of a sunset-orange pegasus mare with a wing cutie mark - she called the form Freedom. It was one of her little escapes, to every now and then change into a common pony and escape into the city or countryside for an hour or two.

There was a strange lightness to not being herself. It thrilled her to know that nopony would bow to her if she spoke, to know that nopony would likely notice her if she flew past. She had other forms - a little filly, an aged granny, and others - for many different experiences, just so she could get out every now and then. She only rarely needed such an escape - she was happy with her life as the Princess of the Sun - but it made such a wonderful break.

She spied him below, moving though a section of switchbacks.

There was no purpose to his steps. When he came to a crossroads, he turned seemingly at random. She swooped closer, watching him grow as she neared. He had indeed put on some weight, but he’d also seemed to gain some muscle - the exercise must have been doing him goon. There was a weariness to his shoulders and his head hung. She’d seen ponies like this before.

He seemed to sense her as she swooped down, landing a respectful distance behind.

“ Hello.” he said, turning a little. His pupils widened a little in interest.

“ A-are you lost?” asked Celestia, using her best Cloudsdale accent. It was brusque and informal and she added slight insecurity to make her seem concerned.

“ A bit.” said the Prince, sounding sad. He looked down the channel he was walking on, eyes settling on where it split in two. “ I know the rest of the maze fairly well, so I think if I take a left turn I’ll be out of here in ten minutes. But, I might be wrong.”

There was a tinge of hope in his voice during his final sentence.

“ Mind if I trot with you?” Celestia asked, walking over.

“ If your looking for a handsome Prince, he’s not here.” sighed Blueblood, striding forwards.

“ More interested in which way turns out to be correct, actually.” she said with a defensive tone, matching his pace. “ Man, I heard you were a douche.”

“ Hm.” said the Prince glumly, taking the left path. “ So they tell me.”

They walked in silence for a half minute until they came to a circular meadow, a old fountain splashing under the stars in the middle.

“ Knew it.” sighed the Prince. “ Left, left, right, left, and I’m done. Oh well, they’ll change the maze back up again in a few months.”

“ You really know this maze.” said Celestia, rather impressed. “ You seen a map of it or something?” she asked, pointing to his cutie mark.

“ No, but I rather enjoy being lost.” said Blueblood, walking off. “ And the tragic part of being lost is you eventually get found.”

“....well what the hay does that mean?” she asked, trotting after her. Celestia wasn’t exaggerating her words, either - she was genuinely confused.

“ I got my cutie mark for being lost.” said Blueblood, taking a right turn. “ I was exploring the palace one day at took a wrong turn. I found my way into the map room where t-the Princess stores her maps of Equestria. I had no idea where I was or how I could get back. I looked over the maps, but they were of the country, not the castle. And then I found it - one just being started. It was blank, save for a compass rose drawn on it.”

He stopped at a four way intersection.

“ I felt like the compass rose.” he said. It was said to the air, not to her. But she felt he meant her to hear it. “ I wasn’t anywhere. I just was. I knew I’d never be anywhere either - they were never going to find me. I’d been sick not long before then and they’d fussed over me so - they wouldn’t let me go outside for fear of pneumonia, my mother kept her eye on me constantly, and the Guard were instructed to keep the windows closes for fear of a draft giving me a cold.”

Celestia remembered that order. She’d given it because it was necessary. Blueblood had been so sickly it could have killed him to catch anything stronger than a sniffle.

“ And I was so happy.” said the Prince, looking to the stars. “ I was free. It didn’t matter when I got up, what I said, what I did. Nopony was there so nopony cared. So I laid down in a little sunbeam coming through a window and fell asleep - if I was going to be alone, I might as well take a nice nap so I’d have energy to explore.”

He started trotting, choosing the forward path.

“ They found me before I woke up. My mother didn’t let me from her side for two years after that - and while she was asleep the servants kept an eye on me. I hated it. It wasn’t until she passed away that I had any freedom. After that I could roam the castle grounds freely. I could take a carriage into town and look at all the ways out of Canterlot. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I actually left Canterlot for a month once.”

Celestia stumbled and nearly fell.

“ It was a simple trick. I was almost a stallion, so i’d nearly completed my magical training, and P-princess Celestia had assigned me earth ponies as guards. I simply informed them I was going to stay in my study for a day and cast a spell to make the occasional sound of a book being dropped or a yawn. I didn’t expect to get far - half the fun was going to be explaining myself when I got caught. I simply trotted out of Canterlot and into the Everfree forest.”

“ You went into the Everfree alone?” Celestia was skeptical, as Blueblood was not exactly known for his bravery.

“ I was unaware of the dangers at the time - I didn’t encounter any while I was there, anyway.” he said, his tone a little sing song. He was looking around, taking note of his bearings. “ The first few nights I just lay under the stars like a wayward commoner. I foraged for food, wandered randomly, and just saw what there was to see. The only company I ran into was this water dragon, and he directed me to an easy part of the river he owned to ford. I just wandered. And wandered. Lost.”

“ Who caught you?” Celestia was surprised she’d never heard of this, but losing a Prince for a month was something she couldn’t blame the guards for being embarrassed about.

“ Nopony.”

“ ....so why did you come back?”

“ Poison Joke.” laughed Blueblood. “ It’s been all over the news that I’m rather fond of it. Had I my way, I’d have partaken today. It’s my revenge, you see. I’ve it hadn’t cursed me when I walked though it, I wouldn’t have wandered back into Canterlot. I’m not even sure how how I got there - every turn seemed to take me leaps and bounds closer. And then I was back, and the guard ponies still hadn’t noticed.”

“....really.” said Celestia, thinking her soldiers were better trained than rocks.

“ You see, I don’t do anything.” said the Prince with a sigh. “ So there isn’t anything for me to be missed for. Oh, I could make donations to a magical university or study some ancient enchantment long forgotten, but who cares. There’s this unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, personal student...of...Celestia. She’s ten times the mage any unicorn has any right to be. Why compete against that? I already hate being here. I might as well not put effort into anything that will just end in me becoming even more irrelevant to the world.”

“ ...so you like being lost....but don’t want to be irrelevant?”

“ No. I like being lost because then, I’m the center of the world.”

Even at his most vulnerable, he was self centered. Even at his weakest and most open, he was still flawed. It was like he’d taken the seed of some childish thought and let it grow over him.

“ Then what’s with the parties, drugs, and mares?” she asked, walking in front of him.

“....boredom, I guess.” said the Prince with a shrug. “ Same as anypony.”

Celestia was growing angry.

“ You mean to tell me you’ve sired a dozen foals, caused dozens of scandals, ruined the name of your house, all over boredom?” she bellowed, growing louder as she did. “ Did it never cross your mind that you could have told somepony? Did it never cross your mind that Celestia might have-”

“ Cared?” snarled Blueblood, glaring at her. “ Like that old mare cares about anything but a DAMN PERFECT COUNTRY! She’s got the whole world under her damn hoof! She’s got everypony trained and bred to do whatever she wants them to do! The Royal Houses are pointless - we live, breed, and die just to be perfect little dolls in her castle!”

“ I DON”T JUST WANT PERFECT PONIES!” she shouted, losing control of herself. “ I JUST WANT EVERYPONY TO BE HAPPY! AND EVEN NOW, I CARE! YOU’VE HURT SO MANY, BUT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU!”

The anger in the princes eyes had changed to terror in an instant. He shied backwards, tripping over his own hooves as he backed away, bowing reflexively.

“ D-don’t-” She began to call out, but he panicked an ran. He tore down the path of the palace maze, galloping and gasping in breathless terror. Celestia could have followed him - with wings, she was far faster than he. But it was pointless. It would serve nothing.

All he wanted was to be lost.

Comments

[TerraZeal]

Omg please help Bluesy!