Vinyl Scratch doesn't like how she looks, she looks... feminine. That doesn't sit right, but how can she get past her nerves and actually look how she feels she should?
If you put "You're" instead of "You are", or "Hasn't" instead of "Has not" in dialogue, it can sound more natural. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but it can make speech flow better.
7755866 It depends on the character for me. Twilight will pronounce every word without contraction, as should Maud. The others, depending on who they are. Will go back over it and make sure any such are done properly.
Our society makes even the tiniest bit of gender dysphoria taboo, so many people go through life thinking it's wrong to explore their sexuality and personal identity at all. Then they wind up in there 30's with no idea who they are and what they like. Anyway, hopefully more people will comment and admit to enjoying this story! I'm quite interested to see Vinyl learn to accept herself for who and what she is, and not how and what she is perceived as.
Just a friendly bit of advice:
If you put "You're" instead of "You are", or "Hasn't" instead of "Has not" in dialogue, it can sound more natural.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but it can make speech flow better.
Liking the story so far, though!
7755866 It depends on the character for me. Twilight will pronounce every word without contraction, as should Maud. The others, depending on who they are. Will go back over it and make sure any such are done properly.
I think you're getting Vinyl's issue across just fine. Excessive self-consciousness is a pain in the plot.![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
Our society makes even the tiniest bit of gender dysphoria taboo, so many people go through life thinking it's wrong to explore their sexuality and personal identity at all. Then they wind up in there 30's with no idea who they are and what they like. Anyway, hopefully more people will comment and admit to enjoying this story! I'm quite interested to see Vinyl learn to accept herself for who and what she is, and not how and what she is perceived as.